Chapter 99: “You look more like Clyde”

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Roy muttered "The camel.”

I grinned at him. "You’re making it easy. I won’t hurt you since you are a friend of Shaniqua but when it’s over you’ll know you’ve been to the dance..”

With that I raised my hand above my head like I had done earlier in the sky-home...and waved it in a circle. As before a veil of stars drifted down and obscured me. When I was visible to him I was the Sheik.

Nothing could be seen of me but for my eyes. I was a towel head wearing a bathrobe so to speak.. but nicer material... Roy’s eyes had widened at the Q trick but then he grinned.

“I’m in disguise” I told him. "You wouldn’t want your customers to know who it was that kicked your ass would you?”

Then he frowned. Oh yeah I was pushing his buttons.

Meanwhile Sally was warming up the crowd. I heard the work SHEIK! and I stepped outside the curtain. Dead silence, then laughter.

Apparently the challenger normally puts on a display. Insults, shaking of fists, promises, predictions of vile harm. I didn’t. I just stood there, off to one side. My arms crossed in front of me..my hands in the opposite sleeves. I was pretending that I was oriental.

Bad, bad LeRoy Brown was announced. Roy made his entrance. He wasn’t showy either. We just stood there looking at each other for a moment.

Sally ‘stage whispered’ "Well do something!”

So we did.

The blow by blow description of a fight is SO boring. I’ll just say that I didn’t hurt him. I just wore him out. Gotta give the big guy credit though. He didn’t give up easily. He was like the EveryReadyBatteryBunny...he just kept going and going.

Once when he had me in a head hold I casually asked him.” Do you really like Shaniqua?”

“Like a daughter” he replied. "Like my own blood”

A little while later when I lifted him over my head as if to throw him into the crowd.” I’m going to "accidentally’ loose my hold on you. Kick me or something to make me drop you. Don’t fake it. Give me your best shot. Like I told Shaniqua it’s impossible for you to hurt me.”

He struggled theatrically.

“Are you sure?” he asked "Sally will kick my ass if I break Shaniqua’s boy-toy I think she has plans for you.”

“I’m sure. Do your best. I’m Indestructible.” I told him

“The last guy who said that I wadded him up like a dirty paper towel. It’s your funeral though.” then I let go of one of his legs. He kicked me in the head.

“Ouch” he said when I dropped him.”Kicking you in the head is like kicking a statue.”

“Kicking me anywhere else is like that too.” I pretended that his blow was much more powerful that it was. I back flipped and slid across the stage.”

He ran up to me. "Are you all right he whispered”

Just fine.” I said " I grabbed him gently by his shirt and lifted him up in the air with one hand.”

“Vile Infidel” I mugged for the Crowd

“Now kick me in the belly” I whispered to him.

He did...more backflips...more sliding...I stopped moving upside down against the wall. This time it was Sally who approached me. "If that big lug hurt you I’ll...”

“He didn't’. It’s not possible. I’ll ‘splain later.” right now we’re putting on a show. This is kinda fun.” I spoke just loud enough for her to hear and no one else. "Now step back.”

I bounced to my feet like an acrobat... and shouted vile Eeeevil things.

After that it just got silly. Every time I got within reach he either booted me ten foot into the air or tossed me across the stage. The crowd went crazy.

“I’m actually getting tired” I heard him say "Perhaps we should wrap this up.”

“Good plan” I told him " I need a drink. Here’s what you do.”

He slugged me...I cartwheeled across the stage and landed in a pile at Sally’s feet While I was "struggling to my feet’ I told her what to do. Then I turned and attacked.

Roy met me coming. with a flying kick. Both feet at the same time slammed into my chest.

Perfect.

I did a backflip...several of them in fact. They call it ‘flip flop’ in gymnastics I believe...at any rate I pretended that he’d kicked me across the stage, out of the ring and against the wall. I could stick to walls...I did for a little bit..then ooozed down partway...and dropped...right on top of a table that Sally had cleared.. naturally it collapsed..

“And the WINAH...is....” I heard Sally shouting over the sound system. The crowd had gone insane.

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