Yes Our Bodies Are Amazing
I have noticed of late that my 8 soon to be 9 year old daughter has started to talk a lot more about her body. Not about the way it preforms or functions, but more about the way she looks. She got upset not that long ago when a friend of hers told her she looked like a boy, she looks like herself which is perfect. This really sadden me though because a few years ago she would happily come up to me and say, today I want to be a boy and I'd go cool and she'd be on her way. But now she gets upset and takes it as a insult almost.
On top of that she has asked me a few times if I think she has a big belly? Now I wrote a post not that long ago about how we all should celebrate our bellies more, as they are where we hold our power, they are our core and not in the muscle sense. That olde saying follow your gut, it really means follow what comes from inside of you, deep inside from your core. I personally think we should all be getting involved in making some very fashionable belly adornments. My daughter I imagine may not be up for this at this point, but maybe she would be, she's asleep now so I'll have to ask her tomorrow.
But aside from the call be be creative, I really would love to open up a conversation about body image and ways to help create positive attitudes towards it. The way I see it our bodies are amazing, when we look at the biological side of things, what our bodies do daily to keep us alive is nothing short of awesome. yet the main focus seems to always be on the outside, on how we all look. And because of this we live in a society that is some what obsessed with appearances.
I really want my 3 girls to have respect for their bodies, to hopefully see past the superficial attitudes that have been in place for far too long. It really took me until my late 20', actually no if I'm being honest it was my 30's to feel comfortable with my body, but then I did grow up in Ireland at a time where any talk about your body was really Taboo and where nudity was frowned upon. Times are changing of course and it is no longer like that.
But negative body image is still a huge issue. You only have to look to the media to see how much we are being bombarded with unrealistic beauty standards and how much criticism woman come under about their bodies and appearance. So we are talking more for sure, but not in a good way.
So my stance on all of this is to try and really talk about how amazing our bodies are with my daughters. To focus on the many different ways that our bodies function in order to keep us going. To show them that our bodies are complex and complicated and true masterpieces. And that we should definitely not be taking them for granted.Because I really believe we need to create confidence from the inside out.
A while ago a friend of mine sent me a link to a website and on it was a photo of Breast Milk Repelling Harmful Bacteria
The photo, posted by a biology student in England, features nine Petri dishes completely colonized with the bacteria M. Luteus, except in the center, where tiny puddles of breast milk have created what looks like “moats” of protection around themselves.
The student, Vicky Green, said she had similar results with Petri dishes full of e.Coli and the dreaded anti-biotic resistant “super bug” MRSA.
How amazing is that, I already knew that breast milk had anti bacterial properties but to actually see it in action and to also know that it kills off E.Coli is simply amazing too. This is definitely something I will be sharing with my girls.
Another thing I wish to talk about with my girls is the importance of self care, I have realized though that the best way to get that message across to them is when I am actively engaging in self care myself.
I would love to know what you think and I would also love any advice with regards to creating a healthy environment for kids, where they learn to honour and respect their bodies and as a result others too.
Big Big Thank You To @byn for designing my logo.
It is sad when young children have to even think about body image.. but these are the times we live in.. at least in the western world. .Its funny how these things are SO cultural. .. for example in africa or india its seen as very healthy to be nice n chubby as that means you can afford to eat!
you're very welcome @eco-alex, it is sad and so true what you say about the cultural difference when it come to body image.
Awesome post!! Keep it up and check out THIS POST as well as I have something similar.
Thankfully your girls have a switched on mum, your positivity and love for the female body should rub off on them.
I always used to read these stupid magazines at that age, so my roll models were airbrushed fakes, not to mention my mum was a beautician and obsessed with her appearance spending hours over it to an unhealthy degree. My mum tried to wax my hairs when I will still in primary school and I hated the pain so I started shaving instead to my regret now >< I was a Tom boy too so the moment it all starts switching to the pressure when your body starts changing and u feel u have to change to fit in, is all crap. Positive roll models like urself should make all the difference, maybe you can show your girl some of the body positivity a stuff from from the Internet that the reality is women are all different and all beautiful no matter what shape or size, the belly decoration sounds ace, a bit like how women have been painting their stretch marks recently ❤️
Thank you @celestialcow, wow I've never got into waxing as it always looked really sore, but in primary school that's a bit full on. I have no problem with body hair, it's who I am. Thanks so much for dropping by, I didn't know about women painting their stretch marks will have to check that out, I like it xxx
That would be another great ecotrain topic: body image, bodily self perception, the ever changing ideal of beauty through history.
PC attempts of making ugly people beautiful, fat lives matter 😉
Anorexia in teenage girls.
"You are not this body" - Vedanta teaching
Quite a can of worms.
Yes I think the ecotrain should discuss this, it really is a huge topic, that is having a huge influence on the world,a can of worms indeed, but I think we are quite good at covering a lot of the angles on topics like this. It's something that needs to be discussed and not shied away from in my eyes, cheers @likedeeler for dropping by and adding more to the topic x
I'm lucky in that my girls never really worried about appearance much at that age. Recently my eldest (now 17) has started taking an interest in her appearance and she did get a bit upset about her stretch marks one day when someone (trying to be nice) congratulated her on her weight loss. She's always been skinny, her stretch marks are because she developed so quickly.
We had a chat about the fact that most people don't judge on these things and often don't even notice them. I asked her if she would judge someone on it if she saw them. Shortly after she saw a young woman in shorts with stretch marks who she thought looked great and it helped her to be less bothered by her own.
The only thing my youngest (nearly 15) has expressed about her body is a wish to be shorter because it would make her gymnastics easier! I asked if she was bothered about her height normally and she wasn't.
I wonder if this is just the first time your daughter has had more of an awareness of gender differences and is now wondering if it will be a problem not obviously appearing to be the gender she is. If this comment has come from someone her age, were they taught a cliche of how genders should be? Ie. girls wear skirts boys wear trousers. Hopefully this is just a fleeting concern which will pass once she's mulled and talked it over.
thank you @life-relearnt for your great response and input. Yeah the girl who said it is her own age, I did not expect to hear it came from her as her parents are very open and aware but alas we never know where some influences come from. I will keep talking with and yes maybe it is more about gender awareness.
It took me until I was 30 to get comfortable with my body too. I wonder if it is hormone driven--by age 30 I had my kids, I'm married, I'm not putting myself out there--I don't need to think like a mammal that needs to reproduce anymore. I have moved on to more mature thoughts. Hopefully the strive for perfection in body is not instinctually driven, because that makes for a sad adolescence for so many women.
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I hope so, I would love to know how it was for others, I'm really hoping that if I instill in my girls a true understanding of how great our bodies, been open in conversation and talk a lot about self care they will have a more positive relationship with themselves even with all the outside influences and raging hormones. Thank you @ginnyannette for dropping by I really appreciate your feedback x
I'm of the theory that modeling confidence is the most important thing a mother can do to instill confidence. But my daughter is only two, so I actually have no idea 😊 Sounds like you have a great plan.
I’m sorry she’s going through this at such a young age.
Do you have mirrors up around your house? I happen to have a few up as decorations here and there and my kids LOVE catching glimpses of themselves.
Best of luck and lots of love to your daughter.
thank you @metzli, we don't have any up, yeah maybe we should have some around so that can see how perfect they are xx
If I ever become a mother I'm sure going to re-read your posts - a lot! It's so amazing to see how consciously you're raising your daughters to be empowered self-loving women <3 Truly inspiring! Thanks for writing your super important anekdotes combined with some awesome facts :-)
thank you @soyrosa I really take that as a huge compliment xx
My older daughter went through this. It was worse when she was in school. She refused to conform to the norms and was tormented. So glad we got through it.
thank you mama, I know it is all part of growing up just didn't expect it this early xx
I know. It's pretty depressing sometimes. You can only keep telling her the truth and encouraging her. She will get through it faster with you as a mom.
This is a very important matter and I am glad you brung it to life in this post! My daughter just turned 8 and I have noticed she cares a lot more about the way people perceive her. For instance she will not go outside if I haven’t combed her hair yet. Or she will wear a hat if her hair is messy before going in a store. But I have to admit I am that way. I have always struggled with being a people pleaser and making sure I am always presentable wherever I go and she is starting to catch on to how I am. My husband and I recently had a talk about this and I have been trying to teach her as long as she feels fine and think she is beautiful it doesn’t matter what others think. But in order to teach her that I need to display that for her and that’s what I have been working on.
I grew up watching my mother be this way and I took after her not realizing it. My mother wouldn’t even go out to get the mail without putting her lipstick on first. So when you grow up around a mother who deems appearance so important it can easily rub off on a child.
So from experience and from evaluating my own life, a daughter will mimic her mother. If you continue to teach her and show her her inner beauty and a healthy way to appreciate her outer beauty then you are on the right track. Leading by example is one of the best things we can do as mothers. I like the idea of teaching them how much power we hold within our bellies and also about the power of breast milk.
you are so right leading by example is the way, we have to be strong role models for our children, that and educating them about the wonders of all our body xx
Absolutely so!! 😊