BEING TRUE TO MYSELF!
I have read some really amazing posts recently here on Steemit, where everyone who wrote was being very honest and open about themselves, sharing their experiences and learning.
It has been really inspiring. It has made me think, it has helped me grow and connect more with the lovely community on here.
It has led me to write this.
My Story
I love being outside, being in my natural environment, it's where I have always felt most alive and connected. Growing up in Ireland, it was expected that every Sunday you would go to mass, but from a young age I could never understand why we were meant to come together in a cold building, why weren't we outside under the sky, for me there was no wonder to behold in these buildings.
I could not understand why all the focus was on one man at the very front who seemed to frown upon everyone and talk about how we were living in sin. I just wanted to be outside, I felt no love in this building, I did feel fear and at times resentment. It's amazing when we are young how open we are to other people's energies. I guess for me I spend my time either daydreaming about being outside or observing everyone inside. I never did feel any pull to listen to what that man was saying at the front, even though I was told over and over to sit still and listen. I did sit still, well I did my best to, but the listening that I would not do.
We have all had such different and varied childhoods, ultimately shaping us into who we are today. I did not have an easy childhood, I know that their are many out there that can say the same. But what I did have was my safe haven and that was the outdoors. I always felt safe amongst the trees and the long grass, it could hide me and hold me. I would imagine what it would be like to live by myself out in the wild with just my dog for company. I lived in the countryside and I would roam around it, finding all these amazing burrows and hideaways. Being outdoors is where I felt most at peace.
Throughout my life I have had a few dark moments, times where things have happened that have really tore at my heart and made me question everything. Times when I have really had to dig deep to find my way back out. Whenever I have been indoors in times like these, I have always felt alone, the walls around me have always made me feel stuck and unable to move forward. I lived in a city for a while and I found it really difficult to deal with any emotional issues that came up. I was ignoring my inner voice that kept on trying to tell me to leave to go back to my safe haven.
For me I need to be able to access wide open spaces.
I need the trees and the long grass, the fresh air, the powerful wind that brings about change.
I like to wash away my sorrows in the rain, to feel the sun energise my body and mind, to feel myself grow in this way.
I am not meant to be caged inside any building.
When I look out my window now I see the mountains, I see the trees moving with the wind, and I feel at peace.
I am being true to myself.
Here are some of the great people, who's posts have really inspired me this week:
@sharoonyasir
@eco-alex
@mountainjewel
@girlbeforemirror
@mumofmany
@purplemoon
@markwhittam
,
So much truth in your words, so good to find people who undertand the need to be outdoors. I was living in the countryside of Brazil, kind of in the middle of nowhere, and was so happy that I could just wake up to the birds, could hear the rain in the lake, could be barefoot all day long. Some people from the cities called me crazy, but I had to get out of the city because I have a theory that all the concrete doesn´t let the energy flow, it gets hard and solid, than bounce back to everybody, so that´s why so many people have mind issues like depression or ansiety crises in the big citys. When you are outdoors you can let the energy flow freely, and you get it back from the trees, the earth, the wind... But my mission right now is in the big city again, so everytime I can I go to parks and just stay there as long as I can.
People need to realise that we are the way we are because most have lost their contact with nature, with the flow of a river, with the pacience os the tress, with the happines of the sun hitting the grass, with their true self.
I´m glad I found your post, made my heart shine. Sorry for the bad english, thank you so much for sharing!
Thank you @fireguardian for your lovely feedback, I'm glad you resonated with what I wrote, so true everything you wrote. I do hope that more and more people start to reconnect with our beautiful planet and one another. following you now x I always really appreciate how nature manages to make it's way into cities.
Cities have a different type of energy and that was never for me. I need wide open spaces too. I need to see the sunrises and sunsets. I need to feel the sun and rain on my face. I need to hear the birds and the ocean. When I have these, I am free...
I hear you @cecicastor, I can dip in and out of cities but I need to be in open spaces. x
I love this so much and thank you for stepping into the light of your true happiness. We have remembered who, what we are....and that is priceless. <3
Thank you @aspectsofbeauty for your lovely encouraging comment.
I certainly can relate to this post. I live on a mountain high above and overlooking a beautiful river. No close neighbors and out the back it goes into what should be called the "wilderness". Have become self-sufficient enough to where I haven't had to travel from my home for 3 months now and lovin' every minute of it.
I remember sitting in churches at a young age. I guess I did take a couple of good things with me. I remember a scripture, "go ye into all the world and preach the gospel to every creature". Well that would sound like I'd have to do a lot of mingling and traveling, but we now have the internet and the "gospel" to me, means Truth. I do remember part of a little song I liked: "This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine." Oh happy days that too is taken care of with the internet.
I do like to travel however, not as many would think though. My traveling is to explore the forests, lakes and creeks. I have never done well with cities and large crowds of people, lost in their domain, looking for something but they have no idea what that something is.
Nature has it all!
It sounds like we have that in common, I feel so grateful to have had nature as a constant companion, well I guess what I want to say is I feel grateful that I have always recognised how great a companion and how healing nature is, for many they do not make that connection and suffer greatly for it. Thank you for your feedback @vickiebarker
i think you and i may be quite similar in this way... and i don't know many people who feel as strongly and innately as i do about it, but i feel the same way as you about being outdoors... to me it really is the divide - inside/outside... i always felt uncomfortable indoors, especially in the horrid white walled and fluorescent lit places! i can feel the constriction in my memory as i read your words
i grew up in the church too and felt so clammy and uncomfortable, so weighted down upon in the church too, as a sensitive..
i actually didn't know being indoors could be cool until i went into my first natural building that was straw bale made with clay plaster and other totally cob buildings. there my body still could relax and i did still feel the earth energies and the things that make me naturally happy. that changed my life and is the reason i'm on the course i'm on now! we gotta listen to those moments and our bodies. XOXO
Yes, to me it is so unnatural especially in brightly lit paces, this sterile environment that some people try to create so scared of nature creeping in. I need to be outside everyday, living in a truck I can hear the wind, the rain and also feel the wind when it is strong enough to rock us. This is the environment that I need to live in, it is what keeps me happy and connected. I have no desire to live amongst thick walls, that shut out nature. Thank you so much for your response @mountainjewel it's really nice to keep connecting with you both x
yesss in contact with these such-alive things <3 makes our spirits free! agreed, so nice to connect XO
You put very nice words on those feeling I share deeply.. Your post does a big echo in myself. It looks like we are many like this in the end, and that very comforting. We always feel different than others, and alone, and it's true we are somehow. But we also are pretty much the same in substance! All dust from the same atom!
thank you @elzheimer, very true, we are all different and that is wonderful but in other ways we are the same, I believe everyone needs to reconnect with nature, this is what is missing in alot of peoples lives. Thanks for you comment x
I totally understand what you mean. If I have been in the city for a day, I feel tired and I really want to go home, to the woods.
yeah I get that way too x
Its so obvious, but so true. I grew up in the countryside too and the long grass was always my home.
Thanks @shivvi, I'm glad it's obvious to you, didn't expect anything else really and you do have some of the best long grass around at yours.
Yes, mama. When I hit a wall, I HAVE to take a walk. Preferably by water. Preferably followed by a bath.
yeah I hear you, water is so healing! xx
Oh yes, water is my everything. Thanks, too, for all the love. You're so good to me!
thank you for sharing more of yourself :) I totally hear you about finding your true self outdoors.. the vast openness and feeling of freedom in nature that speaks to our deepest needs.. let's reconnect with our roots, with our intrinsic nature.. <3 looking forward to find out more about you :)
this is today's post of mine, about my dreams for the near future is you fancy a read.. :)
https://steemit.com/steemit/@bristena94/dreaming-out-loud-steemit-success-digital-nomadism-reuniting-with-my-aussie-love
Thank you @bristena94 for your lovely comment, will check out your post x
Thanks!