The Good Fight Against Our Brain’s Bias To Negativity (Day 11 of 30 of the Happiness Challenge)

hopehuggs (67)in #ecotrain • 5 years ago (edited)

Why is it that negative comments and events stick in our heads much longer than positive ones?

I’m sure that you have experienced this a few times yourself.

A positive comment by your teacher, friend or boss is appreciated, but it wears off pretty fast compared to overhearing a ‘friend’ talk negatively about you to another friend, which mulls on your mind for the rest of the day, or longer in some cases.

So let’s look into why that is the case…

The simple answer is that our brains have a bias towards negativity. Brain scan studies have shown that our brains react more strongly to negative experiences.

So where does that leave us, how do we fight this negative bias?

Is there anything we can do shield ourselves from negative events, remarks or criticism?

The first step, as with many things, is to acknowledge that there is a negative bias, because this allows us to think objectively about each piece of negativity that comes into our space. It is incredibly powerful to acknowledge that our minds are perhaps overreacting about something negative.

And also this knowledge helps us to savor the positive things more.

Of course, this is all easier said than done…

The negativity bias is hardwired into our brain, so it takes time and effort to build new habits that embrace positivity.

So What Can We Do?

It helps to remind yourself in the mornings that your mind will try to get you to focus on the negative and that you will need to make the conscious effort to balance it by being aware of the good and positive things in our lives.

I remember on one of the self-improvement courses that I was on, that we need to try and focus on 5 good things to counter each negative one.

But thinking like this, over time it will allow us to develop a thicker skin when it comes to criticism that has no basis. This is not to say you should ignore every single comment or suggestion, as there is such a thing as constructive criticism that helps us become better people and grow.

No, we need to guard ourselves against the negative words, events or feelings that make us want to retreat and hide in a cave for the rest of the day.

If you are not so great at offering positive criticism, a great way to deliver it is the positivity sandwich, say positive thing first, then the "criticism", then another positive thing. You can say things straight, of course, it may be your way, but don't expect people to be clamoring for your opinion, when you don't consider the impact of what you say.

So, guard against the words that cause inaction, instead use the positivity around us to lift us up, to get us through the tough times and become better at what we do.

A good way to monitor this is to reflect on the good and the bad things each day, as this helps us look at them almost like they were happening to someone else. You could write in a journal or just quietly contemplate each day.

Another good option is to talk it out with a friend, especially if you are struggling with a negativity you just can’t seem to overcome on your own.

Just to your best each day to outweigh the negative stuff with positive stuff. One little tactic here is to collect all the nice emails, or comments, even write down what someone said and keep them all in a little box and then that box is there whenever you need to counteract something negative.

When this becomes a habit, your thick skin will protect you from the harshest of critics.

(Pictures from pexels.com)