Really Smart, Rational People Often Disagree. That's Okay.
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Sometimes really smart, rational people disagree on big, important ideas. This is normal. The trick is for us to understand and respect each other anyway.
The people you think are wrong are not necessarily stupid or irrational. It's possible they have a different epistemology than you, and they haven't evaluated it objectively. The parts of their brain which fire off to give them "truth" may be the same parts of the brain that fire off for you. This is why working to improve our epistemology is so important.
Instead of "agree to disagree", let's double down on respectful discourse. If someone is dead set on not ever changing their mind, the discussion is then more about the audience who is still open to change than an opponent wanting a divisive debate.
We're all a product of our inputs up to this point. We all make mistakes. If we can't understand each other and respect each other, especially when we disagree, we'll be left with frustration, conflict, and even violence.
I shared this on Twitter:
And on Facebook:
And I wanted to share it here as well. The more we think about this stuff and walk it out, the more we can create a world we all want to live in.
Related posts:
- "These Idiots..."
- We Disagree. Are You Ignorant, Immoral, or Stupid?
- NVC: Violence Is a Tragic Expression of an Unmet Need
Well, I can't argue with that!
I have come to agree with you. I still have strong opinions, but I've become much more willing to listen to others and to live peacefully instead of stirring up disagreement for the sake of "being right".
I also agree that it's important to keep the discussion going. Some things are worth talking about. Thanks for sharing this. We need more of it in this world.
Thanks, I agree. More of this in the world would make for a better world.
I loved the line... Some things are worth talking about. Agree.
Good point! On the other side, sometimes people seem to be in full agreement by word, but then unexpected divisions emerge as it turns out that although they were using the same words, the parties were interpreting them differently.
It would also be great if more people were able to admit they'd been wrong about their opinions, and able to change their minds, but this is often regarded as a weakness. Many therefore dogmatically cling to and defend their 'beliefs', which creates internal contradictions, cognitive dissonance and unnecessary division.
Wittgenstein would agree! So much of philosophy is really arguing over the meaning of words.
I hope more people see admitting error as strength. It means we're not insecure and our identity is not wrapped up in our labels and the things we think we know.
One of many reasons why I'm a voluntaryist.
There's an excellent chance I'm wrong about all sorts of stuff; which is why declining opportunities to impose my beliefs on others is the only ethical position.
I love that level of humility. Sadly, too few perspectives or worldviews take this approach. They are mostly so sure of their "rightness" that they don't even realize how much their actions can oppress others. I still want to make the world a better place, but I'm trying to stay humble to realize some of my ideas might actually make things worse. The best I can do is improve myself, be an example for my family, and continue loving those around me.
Well stated lukestokes. I wish we could all work on the working to understand the differences more.
Not only are you giving lip (finger) service to this issue, I have watched you live the principle as well.
Thank you for the encouragement. I do try to live out the things I suggest for others as well.
True! It's all about not having "abolute" points of view. Because this destroys the basis for every discussion and takes away the chance to learn something new.
I decided to start commenting in English just today, so please bare with me :P
Great job! I would never have known you aren't a native speaker.
I really appreciate this luke :)
Well said! Like @relationtrip said...the home i grew up in was full of "absolute" thinking. Naturally l grew up with the idea that if you didnt agree with me l would verbally spar until you did. After many years l learned something....l didnt know everything. l learned to ask more questions, and not dig my heals in so much.
Asking questions is key to understanding. :)
Yessir. I think there is so much talking, not enough listening.
Yea i see. I agree with you. Thanks for sharing 🙏🙏
You had a few (since I am here) else articles on this topic, and you seem really positive when talking about people which disagree each other. That's why I like your thinking, everybody should accept the others opinions and they should be debated in a constructive manner. The way you are thinking is mature, congrats and thanks for spreading it around the world, maybe it will become better in time!
Thank you! I certainly hope we can improve the world. :)
@lukestokes - Yes. I totally agree. Of course, smart people are usually smart enough to know that their knowledge/experience can not be all encompassing and there could be others who will form their opinions based on their own set of knowledge/experience. Smart people understand that perspectives play a big part in a lot of things in this world. Therefore, instead of arguing/ disrespecting or shunning people, smart people work on changing perspectives if possible.
By the way - your blog looked just like one of mine - with a wildlife photo and thought. LOL. Your thoughts are of course a lot more potent than mine!
Regards,
@vm2904
Ah, but the difference is I took a random photo off of pixabay and you actually take the photos!
When I look back over the last few decades of my life there are many things I have changed my mind about. I did that because I learned more, had more life experience, and talked to persuasive people with different opinions and facts.
10 years from now, I know I will look back over the last decade and see I will have changed my mind about many other things as well.
Since I don't know what I am going to be changing my opinion about over the next decade, I now assume I am wrong about most of my opinions, and look for validation that I am wrong so I can change my mind.
It's a very humbling mindset. It's also a good day when I learn something new!