NVC: Violence Is a Tragic Expression of an Unmet Need

in #peace4 years ago (edited)

If we want to make the world a better place, it starts by increasing voluntary actions for mutual benefit over the use of coercion and violence. One of the best mechanism for this, I think, is what Marshall Rosenberg developed known as Non-Violent Communication or NVC.

With the non-aggression principle (NAP) at its core, this philosophy has been successful all over the world at ending generational tribal warfare, gang violence, and conflicts in general. It's a powerful tool we should all learn and teach our children.

Here's a great intro that's just over 10 minutes long:

The basic idea is this: violence is a tragic expression of an unmet need. Do you know how to use needs-based language? Do you know what needs are not being met?

Here are a few more videos (about 20 minutes worth) along with some of my notes. I hope you benefit from them.

Video 1:

How come some people enjoy other people's suffering? How come other people in the same society are just the opposite and get their joy from contributing to other's well being? The difference comes down to the pattern of language they use.
Domination thinking started around 8,000 years ago.
The language of non-violent communication: are my needs being met?
We have distortions of the "some of our needs aren't being met" language.

Video 2:

"If I can think in terms of needs I'm far more likely to learn from my limitations without losing self-respect"
Depression is not about "there's something wrong with us."
"Mental illness" is an unscientific term because very few people labeled as such have chemical imbalances. It's usually what we are telling ourselves because we shame and attack ourselves because we're not talking about needs but instead talking about "what's wrong with me."
"If you don't get connected to the need of yours that isn't being met, then you'll just stay up in your head..."

Video 3:

The most enjoyable play human beings can have is contributing to other human being's well being.

To see some NVC principles at work, check out this heart-pumping example of Adam Kokesh defusing what would have otherwise been a violent encounter:

Humanity needs to evolve beyond our primitive, violent thinking. Our language is failing us, keeping us trapped in emotional responses we feel are out of our control. The future is open, decentralized, and non-coercive. We're already seeing a growing number of people rise up against centralized, authoritarian thinking to express themselves freely for their own self benefit and the benefit of everyone they come in contact with. Steem is a part of this peaceful revolution. Ideas which can not be censored and which otherwise provide no profit incentive for those in control of media power can now be shared far and wide by those who are sick of the violent status quo. With each person who learns NVC and puts it into practice, with each child who grows up learning violence is not the answer, with each expression of love over hate...

We can shape the world we want to live in.

Thank you for being a part of the future of humanity.


I wasn't aware of this until today, very fascinating! It almost needs to have a new name like "Guide to Being a Decent Human" since this really is something everyone can benefit from knowing.

I feel the same way! I try to re-watch his videos ever so often and every time I do, I'm reminded how much I use jackal language over giraffe language. If you want more, there's plenty on YouTube, including this 9 hour course:

Very valuable information as always. Thank you for sharing this with me. I believe it will be helpful for many of my future endeavors.

Wonderful! This is just a teaser. There are hours and hours of video on YouTube. I need to watch them again myself because there's so much about this way of thinking to learn.

Awesome post Luke. I think I missed this one last year somehow. It'd be getting a resteem from me.

It was my first "real" post on this platform. My first was just kind of trying it out.

It's still one of my favorite posts and I refer to it often. :)

I just watch Adam's video and it was pretty awesome.

NVC works. :)