Suicide Prevention/Awareness Month - Part 1

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It is a subject that come very close to home. Believe it or not, I am the one in my family with severe depression, generalized anxiety disorder, social anxiety disorder, PTSD, suicidal tendencies along with a whole list a labels that doctors have put on me. This is actually why I do my Mindfulness Monday posts mainly to keep me talking. As long as I can talk about it, not be ashamed I feel it inspires others. I know there are advertisements everywhere, 'If you are feeling this way call this number.' Sadly, the ones that are truly suicidal, don't talk to anyone. Why? As a society we have taught people that there is a negative stigma to even having a depressed thought. 'OMG what are they going to do if mention I feel like dying?' We constantly tell others that it is selfish, wrong, stupid plus many other negative connotations.

Is there right or wrong. Yes, you say or do the wrong thing your friend or family member will die. The few things I had heard when I was at my lowest, was:
"Do you realize how selfish you are being?' 'How dare you do that to us!' 'That's just plain stupid, it's just dumb to think that way.' 'All you do is think about yourself.' In fact, for someone that is suffering in this darkplace. You might as well pull the trigger. How dare you condemn someone for a feeling or thought they have? How dare you not listen and understand? How can you be so selfish as to telling me how much this is going to affect you? It's not about you, it's about how I am feeling. The worst part is that so many don't understand, is in our minds, we're taking a burden off of you. It doesn't justify anything but that is the thought process. We don't want others to worry. We don't want to be a burden of any sort. We don't want to hurt anymore. We don't want to feel useless. We don't want to feel empty. This is why I say this as much as possible. It is normal to have these thoughts. It is when you dwell, you start to damage your psyche and get locked into a train of thought. 20 % to 30 % of the time no matter what you do you can't get off that train.

I know several of you that know me thorugh Steemit know I am far from selfish. I think and support people more than I worry about myself. I really need to do a better job taking care of me. If it's possible I am a realistic idealist LOL. It's almost an oxymoron. I understand how things work. I see the big picture of the world. I understand we each have our own journeys and it is not up to anyone else to tell you how to live or that you're on the wrong path. That is the wonder of free will. In the same token, I want people to be happy as much as they can. I want people in other countries not to have to suffer due to some foolish leadership or worse. It breaks my heart to see what is going on in Venezuela. To hear from my friends in Indonesia how much a half day of my pay could do for them. Hell, how much $20.00 can help them.

Wanting to help, making others feel better and the like are actually a sign of someone with mental illness. No not everyone that feels this way has mental illness, but it is a sign none the less. If we can help someone suffer less than what we are or no matter how we are feeling. The the goal is accomplished. Yes, sometimes you do get a feeling of accomplishment. When you're in an off cycle or down moment, doing these activites occupy your mind. You don't think. You aren't you. Your mask is on. When you're done, it all comes flooding back and it is usually worse than it started.

International Suicide Hotline Numbers

National Alliance on Mental Health-NAMI

Pay It Forward Contests

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Thank you for your continued support, Love