Searching for Happiness - Is that the Problem?

in #depression3 years ago (edited)

Society now is very geared towards seeking pleasure or happiness, whether it is your job, your relationship, family, friendships and career; people now have very high expectations when it comes to life. The aims and ambitions of people over the last hundred years have magnified to a huge degree and people want more and more, the problem is, does this freedom really make any of us happy?

If you are someone who never seems to be contented and always seeking what you do not have then you are probably like the majority of us. No matter what we have, the grass always seems to be greener somewhere else, people always seem to have more, yet want more, there never seems to be an end point to it. Ok there is nothing wrong with drive and ambition and seeking to better your life, but does any of this really ever make any of us happy?

(Interesting short interview with Viktor Frankl, Writer and Holocaust Survivor)

The fact that we continuously are seeking and trying to find, the fact that we never get to that point where we have found, we are unsatisfied and always looking to the next big thing. Whether it be a bigger house, more possessions or the latest piece of technology that promises all the answers. The problem is do we ever get there? If you think to yourself right now you could probably make a list of 100 things you would like and want, maybe even you feel like you need, the mistake is that we really believe that if we complete our list of 100 that we will then be in a state of enlightened contentment and finally we will reach the end goal that is happiness.

This would be fine if it were true, we would all get working on that list and soon we would all be happy. The problem is as soon as we have completed this list, another 100 or maybe even 200 or 1000 things will turn up. It is a never ending spiral and in the end it will not give us the answers of what we truly need inside.

Maybe what we truly need is inside of us ourselves, maybe why we cannot find that elusive happiness is because we seek it as a destination, but it cannot be, the destination does not exist, only here and only now ever exists.

The future and the past are illusions.

Maybe we need to stop searching and look at today, to appreciate yourself, to love what you actually have right now.

Maybe then we find what we need.

The irony is, we already have it.


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The search for something, anything, is the expectation of the future to fulfil the present. Which is not possible. Living the eternal now is the whole of all self being. Living where you are instead of where you will be provides that which you currently are bestowing to the future.

I totally agree with this yes, it is weird that humans are probably the only creature on the planet that destroys itself through seeking something that doesn't exist, so many aspects of human society are built on the past or the future, if it was structured on the now I think it would be a far kinder world that we would all share. :-)

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Most appreciated good sir, though I strive to live in the present I do not mean to say we should never put thought into the future. Since here even on steem we post now expecting someone to read and hopefully gain insight by reading our writing in the future. There is a philosophy I've been cultivating which allows living the dream every moment while still bringing about a prosperous future. I'll be sharing said mindframe as now allows.

SteemOn my friend!

That sounds cool my friend :-)
I guess life is a balance right? Planning for good things but not getting so lost in the planning that we lose sight of today :-D

You might be interested in the 2 new posts I did today, both on the subject of mental health, would love to know your views on them :-)

Great post very informative. Myself I am a cancer survivor and that changed how I looked at life tenfold. I wake up every morning before I even put my feet on the ground I practice gratitude for all I have in my life. I end my night with practicing gratitude. Also I don't sweat the small stuff and enjoy every minute of every day. Thanks for sharing....appreciated @georgemason.

Thank you :-) Did facing mortality in such a strong way make you re-focus into the now? I imagine that must have been very powerful in that sense to alter every single perspective that you would have in your life and re-focus every single one of them, did you find that doing this helped you with your recovery?
I bet you are very strong now, to get through the worst darkness we must be very strong inside.

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Yes @georgemason my fear was quickly changed to faith to I could stay calm and have hope and put all my healing energy into my recovery. Every minute is precious to me and I make every minute count.

That is excellent, I admire what you have achieved with your struggle :-)
If it is of interest I have 2 new posts on mental health issues generally, would be great to get your view on them :-)

We share exactly the same perspective. For me, seeking implies lack. We don't have it yet. Consequently, so long as we seek we won't find anything.
Even more, by seeking we focus on the lack because we complain about not having "it". So basically, the more we seek the further we drift away...
And yes, future and past are illusions as they are thought constructs. Without thought there is only Now.

😃Sorry, I need to stop it here, because if I continue it won't end!

Thank you! I like it very much! :)

That is cool that you look at it this way too, it is easy for us all to forget this every day and get lost again in thoughts that drag us into the past or future and in that way fear and worrying.

Is there any method that you use to keep centred and in the now so that you don't do this?
Trying to keep a clear head without all the noise of the past and the future is probably the way to be free.
I guess letting go is the key, I try as hard as I can to let go but I also need to make sure when I do that that itself doesn't become something I am holding onto to try to achieve :-)

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Dedicating my time to mental Silence was most powerful. This brought all my fears onto the surface in no time in the dream state. Now, I am as awake in the dream state as in the waking state, but back the mental Silence was accelerating exactly this process of becoming more awake in the dream state. In order to digest the pace at which this happened for me I had to practise even more mental Silence, otherwise it would have been too much. Telling myself to accept this and that I cannot change it but my perspective on it was key. My body physically released density every night and I felt it in my whole body. Over time, these past thought patterns naturally dissolved!:)

Thats interesting :-) have you ever tried lucid dreaming? I used to be able to do this but seem less able to do so these days, in fact I don't even seem to be lucid when I am awake anymore which is possibly why, do you think what we experience in the dream state is more who we are than what we see and feel in the waking state?

Interesting concepts :-)
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Dreaming has so many benefits. One of my first articles here "Artists as telepathic Soul readers" addresses this. I lucid dream every day. I am as awake in the "dream" state as in the waking state. The more we release thoughts and worries the deeper we get into our subconscious. Here, the magic starts! :)

Interesting concept, do you find if you alter things within the dream it can alter reality and vice versa? :-)

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I agree -- we only have the 'now'. That's all that's guaranteed and we should live in it, rather than the past or the future. It's okay to plan but appreciate the present because that's all we really have right now! :)

Yes exactly, it is all that ever really exists, the rest is an illusion because by the time tomorrow comes, it is now so if we are problem free in this instant we are problem free, somehow it would be great to get each moment to be what it is rather than be a reflection of the future or past :-)

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In my opinion: The true way to happiness always changes through our lifetime because our life conditions are always bending and transforming as we grow, excellent post

Yes that is very true, our needs do alter and shift throughout age and time, what makes us happy as a teenager will not be what makes us happy as a 50 year old, I guess there a certain common threads with it though, but the aspects of how we feel those threads are very different, we do need to grow with ourselves I agree, and not be who we once were :-)

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Thank you for doing this, I appreciate that a lot. :-) I am happy to contribute to the community :-)

Thanks for reading :-)
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Happiness is a state of mind, it has to do a very little with what we have. To achieve that point of view is not easy at all ... We naturally seek for more, connecting that search with dissatisfaction and unhappiness. Very important for happiness are gratitude and forgiveness, what does not mean that we do not have to grow anymore.
Are we unhappy by nature and have to learn to become happy persons or we are born happy and then taught to be unhappy and now have to learn to be happy again?

I think you are right, it very much is a state of mind, we can have very little but in a particular moment feel an huge sense of satisfaction and contentment, I think it is on those times that we are not thinking, we are just being, we are living instead of trying to live, those are the moments when none of it really matters, it isn't about goals or status, it is just about being ourselves and letting go of all the rest of it, it is totally doable with practice, we can all do it, and maybe one day we will all be better for it :-)

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I recommend taking some time out and giving yourself some self care. The Blurt Foundation are great and have a lot of resources available for this. I would encourage reading through their tips and focusing on the immediate good.

Interesting :-) who are they and what do they do? :-)

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Thanks for doing this, I appreciate it :-) Always happy to add to the community :-)

Thanks for reading :-)
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I will respond to all comments, happy to hear different views :-)