My Mom's Cancer is Terminal

in #death3 years ago (edited)

I'm supposed to be having a fun weekend in Paris, but it looks like I won't be leaving my hotel room, and instead just sit here for the duration of my trip.

My mom's been battling with cancer problems for a while now, but she always kept a strong face and kept convincing me that everything is better than they actually were.

Today, I was made aware by my grandmother that her cancer is much worse than she ever let on.

She's battling with what I believe is called a metastatic tumor, and while it can be treated, it can't be cured.

She's going to die.

I've had a difficult relationship with my mother for a long time, but recently, through all the hardship, I finally felt like I have a mother again. I thought she was going to pull through and we can finally be stronger together as a result.

Now Im going to have to get used to the idea of not having a mother, at all.

It absolutely pains me that I've wasted the relationship with my one and only mother because of stupid, petty arguments and disagreements.

It also pains me that I haven't been more strict about he fact that I never wanted her to smoke - hell, I've smoked with her, basically giving all of what's happening right now an okay. What kind of a son does that.

When my girlfriend died five years ago, me and my mom weren't on good terms, and I was alone and now that my mom's dying, my girlfriend's gone already, so I'm going through all of this alone, again.

Am I a bad person if I selfishly feel that I'm tired of all the dying? I'm not the one dying, but I childishly think that I'm just sick of all this.

I also feel horrible for the fact that my mom's life never really turned out the way she would have wanted; my father was abusive, they divorced, and then she wasted her life in another bad relationship that she wasn't able to get out for a long time.

Only recently she got together with a former co-worker who loves her very much, and they used to be close, but she rejected him for my stepdad who never appreciated my her in any substantial way. It was so weird to finally see her happy, I don't think I had ever before seen her happy. She was a different person.

I have no idea how she manages to keep such a strong face through all of this. You could never tell something's wrong. I'm much more negative towards everything in life, and I'm in a good spot. Sure, I'm alone, but at least I'm rich and healthy. She's not even that.

I haven't been able to really go through these emotions, even though secretly I've known that something like this would be a realistic possibility. It's just that worrying about this would have meant visioning myself attending my mom's funeral, and I rejected it. Until today when I finally envisioned, realized that it's probably going to happen soon, and just broke down. Years and years worth of tears just flowed through and I went through all the mistakes made in our relationship between us.

Now I'm not even sure how I should react when I see her.

Should just break down and hug her, risking breaking her down? Should I just keep strong, just like she is, and not think about it? I honestly don't know.

I fucking hate the fact that this is already the second damn time I'm going through these questions.

I just want to say to everyone reading that appreciate your parents. Love them. If you're having disagreements, try to work them out. Your parents are the only parents you'll have. Never take them for granted. You should never take anyone for granted anyway.

You'll never know what may happen.

I'll try to remain strong for my mom. This whole post turned out bad, but I'm not capable of much more right now.

I'm at least thankful for the fact that she's still here for a while, so I have time to love her before she goes.

But seriously, just love the people close to you. I've been through this once already, I know for a fact that sometimes we lose them in an instance.

I'd actually like for people to resteem this; just to get people to tell their parents and other loved ones that "Hey, I love you and appreciate the fact that you're in my life right now".

If people do that, this post was worth it.

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Keep your head up brother - you will get through this. You should go on a trip somewhere with your mom if you can..somewhere hot. Try to get her into meditation and yoga. Keep her hydrated with alkaline water/diet. My mother is a cancer survivor. You will be in my prayers bro, don't give up. Take what the doc says with a grain of salt. Your mind is the most powerful tool you have. Be strong spend as much time as you can with her.

My work neighbour just found out he has colon cancer. Devastating news to most of us and i can't imagine for himself. Life changing even't ....All the best to your family member and a speedy recovery.

Сочувствую

Dam bro.. first off,

FUCK YOU CANCER

That's some difficult stuff to deal with.. you should drop what your doing and get to here side asap. I watched my grandmother slowly pass from it.. the closer the day came, the harder times got... the only thing i could do is share with her every thing i could possibly think of and express how much I love her.

you got me tearing the fuck up right now, typing this

My grandma was proud of her life and what she accomplished.. she wanted nobody to be sad, planned her own funeral.. left the family secret "notes" we would eventually find thru a will. Point is, she eventually accepted her fate.. not saying your mom will but you never know how she really feels until you talk to her.
YOU HAVE TO SAY YOUR GOODBYES*

my grandma would tell me, "it's God's will" which in fact, made me angry with and question God.

You don't want any regrets going further.. the past is the past, now.. get your ass to your mom.

I feel your pain bro.

FUCK CANCER

Here's a video post by @bycompoundfilms who's friend just passed from cancer today

Fuck You Cancer - << click that to watch

I agree - fuck cancer.

I'm writing to tell you that I'm here for you. My experience with death has taught me that proximity is a matter of relation. I mean, my grandpa, who passed in 2007, well sometimes I see a bluebird, and I think, huh, maybe that's grandpa Andy. He used to feed bluebirds peanuts by shaking the peanut, and the bluebird, hirkemir, he named him, would fly right up to the sliding glass door. He would eat the peanut. And then my grandpa gets this big humble widened grin and I'm only about up to his knees back then, but yeah he was a kind soul, and I still feel him today. Same with my beloved grandma Dana, who collected old jazz records for me to enjoy in her honor, and when I do, I feel she's listening, like Ina radio, saying, " oh, I used to listen to that song over, and over" usually sad songs but sometimes a love song. She really liked," you're the top. " I can only speak for my experience, but life and death are more closely related than I knew, and when I have lost loved ones, I feel a deep sense of acceptance, over time, to know their souls are with me always. So, in short, I'm here for you. It's hard to share but use the tools you can to work through it, and I find solace in bluebirds, butterflies, and while I can, the people that are still with me. Take care.

cancer is caused by DNA damage, heavy metals, stress, or all of the above and more, it's a response of the body, disease doesn't just happen, it's caused by something happening, cancer is cancer, we live in a shitty world because we made it such, we don't care about people, we care about ourselves and then we say fuck this and fuck that, my grandmother also passed away from cancer, It's not easy to deal with, my only remorse is how distant I was and how I can't remember her face anymore. I owe a lot to her, good and bad, but I wholly respect her for her "sacrifice" and even if don't know her in her best times, I'm still grateful. I'm not going to drag this out, topics on cancer and the world is something I'm holding pent up :) for now :)

I lost my mom to cancer ten years ago. I'm so sorry. Indeed, love her while you can. Maybe the best thing you can do is what she wants you to do. Ask her. Be vulnerable. Let her know you'll be strong if she needs you to be strong or you'll break down and weep with her if she needs you to weep with her. Make it about her while also encouraging her with what you will become so she knows the purpose her life did accomplish by creating you.

Lovely....this comment stream is so beautiful. I am touched by all the genuine caring people.

It's true The world is not without good people

@lukestokes, you've got some great advice for @schattenjaeger!
Sorry to hear about your Mom. It must have been tough.

In times like these, often the most important thing is to just be heard and have others sit with you in your pain. To have people listen and care is so important. I hope this community and the great many comments here are doing just that for @schattenjaeger.

Well said @lukestokes. I lost a very dear uncle in 2006. He was in the military when he was younger. A very good, strong, disciplined and principled man. When he was diagnosed with an aggressive colon cancer, the docs refused to perform surgery because of his advanced age. In the last few days, he was in so much pain, and yet so dignified about it, I remember just sitting next to him for long hours, playing some soothing instrumental healing music and holding his hands and stroking his palms. No talk. No anything. But I'm sure he understood how much I loved him. I just sat with him in the pain... to use your words.

I hope @schattenjaeger finds his way around this. And the comments from the community here prove to be therapeutic.

This sucks. Bad. I'm sorry to hear about this news, and I have total empathy.
My mother has been informed recently that her cancer has returned....for a 4th time. The first time was in 1997 when they found a beachball-sized tumor in her abdomen (she's not a little lady, so no one really noticed) which was found to be malignant. She endured a horrible and lengthy surgery and many months of chemotherapy with all the side-effects that came with it, to finally be told she won her battle. We were overjoyed. Then in 2002 I think, it came back. This time they threatened to remove her bladder, but found a specialist in another city who was able to perform a surgery that prevented that from being necessary, winning this battle as well. Then, in 2014 after my father passed, we received news that it had returned again. I feel like my mom has been underplaying the severity of her prognosis as you mentioned your mother was doing, and she said that with the treatment they'd given her that she had beaten it again. Here we are now in 2017, and she said she'd been informed that the cell count had spiked once again, indicating yet another return. It's unbearable to watch someone so close go through this even once, let alone 4 times.

That's terrible news, but expected with cancer. I'm sure your Mom is stronger than the cancer @winstonwolfe. She's already fought and won over it 3 times, she'll do it again. Just ensure she has all the right equipment to fight it with. And be there for her even though it hurts. Sending good luck wishes her way for a successful and speedy treatment. - @sandzat

Wow so sorry to hear your news too.

That's awful. I had an aunt who also had repeat diagnoses of cancer. It's really tough.

  1. There is no way you can tell another adult how they should live their lives. It is ludicrous that you feel guilt for not encouraging your mom to stop smoking.

  2. You have every right to feel sorry for yourself. And to feel childish while doing so. Griefs strips everything away but our essence.

  3. Life was what it was. We constantly negotiate and re-negotiate relationships. You are right to advise people to put away petty arguments, but family relationships go much deeper. Sometimes we need to push away and sometimes we need to be closer. no regrets!!!

  4. When you see your mom, let your instinct guide you as to how you should react. Those kind f moments can't be planned.

  5. As a mother myself, I will forgive my children almost anything (except evil, like murder etc) and no matter what my love will always be constant. I think most mothers are like me.

resteemed

Sound advice @onetree. And very touching.
I'm a mother too. And it is the same for me. My love is always constant. And I would always want my daughter to be open and totally herself when she is with me. And hope that she doesn't need to think twice about it.

A mothers advice. Perfect and whats needed.

Your post really touched my heart. It made me think about and cherish my parents more instantly. I am sending so much love your way cuz I can feel the hurt. I just came across you today and I am grateful I did ❤️This Dr has cured thousands of patients who had cancer. It's a short video. Please watch it.

Yeah, on top of that Laetrile and Vitamin B17 has also cured cancers too. A guy who started Apricots from God, had a couple of months to live with this terminal cancer; he watched A World Without Cancer by G. Edward Griffin, then he decided to take some apricot seeds, and it cured him. He tried to sell Apricot Seeds, but he was put in prison for doing so.

https://archive.fo/i4BAL

Just don't trust the media when it comes to issues like this; they'll just cover for the industries that want to promotes the "research for the cure of cancer".

I can't help laughing, the note that says, we can't cure cancer, because he's in jail, funny news gets me every time, how degenerate indeed and oh that doc looks like a serial killer, ooooh that naughty boy is in big trouble, you are in big trouble mister, do you realise you are destroying good business, think of the jobs that will be lost, think of the millions that will be spent on something else, think of how much doctors will have to expand their world view. xD poor fella getting chemo, because that is how we run things :|

the second one is too long for now.

good post I've missed the video, the documentaries are good to have :) thanks for sharing :)

I will nest my reply here since I was going to say most of the same things, what I know on the topic is what is stated mostly, I've heard that cancer can't feed itself so it needs glucose and it thrives in a toxic environment, its a degenerative disease, so yes acidity helps a lot, being nervous and not recovering perpetuates it, emotional trauma is said to be the root cause, the working solutions I've heard of are fasting, which requires some spirit in such times, because well it's hard to change 10 years of life in a month or so and not eating for a month is not easy when you are so weak, normally juicing and emotional support go with that for the speediest of recoveries, it's a long shot, but anything is possible if there is commitment and in the end trying something is better than getting "therapy" which is quite invasive and harmful since it kills living cells too, or blatantly maims organs. Those are no solutions in my view.

Basically I've heard that a keto diet suppresses it, because it starves the tumors, juicing can both detoxify and oxydise(alkalise) if done right, not to mention bring in nutrients that the body was starving for. It's a difficult topic to tackle and I only know information, I have no personal experience and I'm not going to claim anything, I like learning and I don't like people dying, in the end you have to respect their choices, if they choose to live they can find a solution.

I'm leaving here what this post is missing,
http://www.screencast.com/t/M9NigDNT10qQ
"An Introduction to THE FIVE BIOLOGICAL LAWS"
I'm going to watch it, because I've only read briefly the topic a while ago.
http://germannewmedicine.ca/documents/study_guidelines.html
http://www.newmedicine.ca/german-new-medicine.php

People have already mentioned plant based medicine, rick simpson oil and a few other I haven't personally looked at.

That's all I have, I think there is enough already. I'm off to watch a few hours of movies. I have enough on my plate for now.

I am sorry that you are dealing with this. Grief is not selfish. Please be sure to let your mom know you love her as soon and as often as you can. You still have time to make the best of your time.
Also, please look into some of the suggested drs that have cured cancer with alternative methods.
Reaching out is the start of healing and you never know what random response could change the entire future.

Wow I am truly sorry to hear this. I lost my mom to cancer in 2004, she had just turned 50yo while staying at the hospital, I was freshly turned 21, it was really hard for me even though I had lots of support so I know how it is. You just keep your head up & try to spend whatever time left by her side, you will be ok.....

I feel sorry...

While you can't change the past you can actively change the future. And you just started with writing the post.

You don't need to feel bad about your feelings. You could feel bad if you don't use the time from now on but as you wrote you'll use it. And that's the important thing...

You can help people with what you do today and tomorrow and that's what matters. That's a trace you leave in this world.

I am so sorry that you have already suffered something so traumatic once and that you have to go through it again. Thank you for taking the time and energy to channel your pain into a message that will hopefully help wake people up to the fact that they really need to appreciate the people they love. As far as how to react when you see here, I obviously don't know either of you so it would be hard to give great advice. But my gut tells me that your answer is in this post. Tell her what you said here: That it was great to feel the connection you have shared recently, how impressed you are by her strength, how happy you are that she found happiness with her former coworker, and that you are using your situation as a spark to spread the word to the world that people should love, cherish and appreciate their parents. Let her know that is how you feel about her. Perhaps knowing that this pain may save others from similar pain would help a tiny bit. Stay strong. Human beings are incredibly resilient creatures. You can make it through this.

I know it's a hard phase for you, but at least you realized how much you love her and the value she holds in your life.
To know what is going to happen and to think about it, will kill you a bit every day. So I suggest you instead of grieving for what is going to happen, try to do something in this time, what you will be proud of happened. Do something to make her happy and proud, and you will be at peace that she has gone being proud of her son.
May god give you strength to face what is about to come.

Very sad story, but I think it's a good thing you've decided to open your heart here. Even the words of virtual friends are better then dealing with all this alone. My only experience with this kind of situation is that of losing a sister to cancer and the little advice I have to offer is stay strong. Don't break down in front of her, it will only make you both miserable. She already has little time left, why make it miserable? Create good memories, do things you enjoy. She'll know how you feel even if you don't cry in front of her and I don't think she wants you to suffer. No mother does.

I had a similar situation this year when my father was diagnosed with prostate cancer. It's quite advanced and although he is undergoing treatment it is not a matter of if but when. This is complicated by the fact that my parents emigrated many years ago!

I made a decision to not dwell on the negatives of the situation but rather, try and create as many positive situations as I could. I call a lot more than I did, I visit more and I try and take much more of an interest in his life, not just in the medical details!

My Mum calls it building memories but I have taken him to a couple of events he really wanted to go to and I watch sports he is interested in to give us more in common! I am actually really enjoying the sports and it's great to connect with him in a different way to previously!

I would never dream of telling you what you should do but I've found this has really helped me deal with the situation and come to terms with it. I hope my father has enjoyed our bonding as much as I have.

I'm so sorry you're having to go through this. I lost my dad and I know what it means to lose a loved one. As practical as we try to be, it's not easy. But that's how life is. I like what you said. All we can do is show the people we love - how much we love them. Hugging your mom and breaking down is not a bad thing. May be that's just what she needs, to know her son cares for her. I pray that your mom is happy every day of her life, and that you gain the strength you need to go through this.

I wish you all the strength i can Schattenjaeger,
i myself got that news when i was 12 and after hard years lost my mum at 18.
Something i never did get over, i think it's not possible neither.

You can still hug your mom, cry and tell her how much you love her and still be strong. If anything that shows strength. You are afraid to lose someone else you love but don't wait till it's to late to tell your mom how you feel about her . You will regret it later if you don't. I am sure your mom loves you more than you can ever imagine. Hope you grow closer every day. Be strong and best wishes :)

Remain strong for yourself as well brother. Its the person whos left behind who must deal with the pain and grief of loss. I cant imagine losing my wife or kid. Im losing my mother soon too due to heart problems. She wont be alive in two years. Perhaps not 1 month. She chose to smoke eat bad and not exercise. I dont hate or blame her for thar. Nevertheless it was her choice and she knew the potential consequences. Her dying has at least helped me realize how short and important life is. We only get on shot at this as far as we know. Live for yourself. Be happy. Enjoy as much as you can. Dare to love even though you risk losing them. And never beat yourself up. We all do the best we can to the best of our ability. Good luck man!

Should just break down and hug her, risking breaking her down?

Yes.

Touch is an important sense for humans.

If it makes either or both of you cry, that's not a bad thing, we're not wired to remain in one emotional state.

I have time to love her before she goes.

Go now, don't wait.

@schattenjaeger, I have had it. I had surgery done this year Feb. And have been put on meds. If it recurs again, it would be considered metastatic. I've been looking at alternative meds, protocols, oils and such stuff in the event of it recurring. I think even with metastatic cancer, it is possible to live a reasonably long life if the cancer is kept in check. In other words, not allowed to spread any further.

I would suggest that you find out all the details of your Mom's cancer. Spend some time and research the causes, symptoms, treatments (both traditional and alternative) and care. Don't worry about your mother feeling bad or breaking down or about your breaking down. If it happens, let it. It is highly distressing and important but secondary. She'll get over it and so will you. Don't hold yourself back for any reason.

But first thing to do is to check if you can find out anything that can help her fight it! Don't give up hope till the last breath.

Beautiful advice, really touched my heart. I wish all the strength to you.

My Grandmother's cancer was supposedly not curable and in a terminal stage. somehow miraculously it went away and wasn't because of the chemos unfortunately she died around a month after because some not so good doctor touched her where she wasn't supposed to be touched since chemo's had burned her insides and all doctors where saying to not touch her there for a while till it gets cured, I don't never believed in miracle stories until one happened in front of me.. I really hope one would come to your life..
And oh well.. I've dealt with depression and the manic thought of how I am supposed to bear the day my own mom will leave me. after all she is all I got.
and mate other than that...I used to be strong ...or play the strong one. but when the shit hits the fan I was in seconds all in tears it only took mere seconds seeing her almost dead (diabetes low sugar in her body for long hour) to literally start crying like a small kid.I believe you have to talk to her to hug her and give her all your love ..that's all she did. It doesn't matter if you cry or pretend to be strong.. what matters is to find a way to continue.. if things unravel as they seem to.. and you are not ready for this change.. I'd try to talk about that even if I could not keep my eyes of crying and my pride intact. She will probably have things to tell you once she knows how exactly you feel.. and feelings aren't the illness here.. you don't risk of breaking her down. Some times breaking down is a way of cleansing our selfs. and I believe it's not like the first time you saw her crying or breaking down even a lil bit. and much more the times you weren't even able to see. Show her how you feel man..humans aren't so fragile in the end.. Unless they feel they are alone.

Everyone dies, that is part of our experience here as humans.
But still, you say: it can't be cured.
Who said that?
The docs that poisn cancer patients for profit!?

If you want to make a change, look into Cannabis (Rick Simpson Oil is great tho) it may be able to heal even the worst...

Sorry to read about your situation
I heard a natural doctor once say accept the diagnosis, ignore the prognosis. I don't know where you are in the world but Cancer is not a death sentence, It usually only is if you accept what conventional medicine tells you, and follow their treatments, which themselves are toxic, caner causing, and spread cancer cells, via surgery, chemo, radiation.

Ive seen a few suggestions in your feed, like Rick Simpson Hemp oil, and getting your bodily PH alkaline, these can be very powerful to add to an arsenal of cancer fighting holistic treatments, but they are not cure all or silver bullets.

To keep this brief Im going to list a bunch of links that will open up a rabbit hole of info of self curing cancer. If you mother is open to it you can share with her.

Half the the fight is having a good mind set. Smoking is bad, but I would bet that the "stress" or guilt or just negative feeling of the relationship between you two would be a big cause. And thats what I would address point blank, even if you are on good terms now forgiveness between both of you can lift a huge weight off you both.

https://thetruthaboutcancer.com
http://www.hoxseybiomedical.com/clinic-information/

https://gerson.org/gerpress/
http://drjockers.com/category/health-news/cancer/
https://hope4cancer.com
https://thesacredplant.com
https://www.cancertutor.com/budwig/

I have login credentials for the truth about caner, and sacred plant, I will share with you if you would like, just contact me here or reply

Good luck to you both!

https://thetruthaboutcancer.com

I really liked it and I have all the videos of you want! Also from the Sacred Plant. Good luck!

I've seen the first part of the series I even made a post on it, it's not that hard and I've seen lots of repetition of the subject, still it would be good for people to have it. It's a bit long since it's probably 12 hours or so.

The clincs I've skipped.

Gerson sounds interesting, although I don't like people renaming simple solutions and selling them, let me guess juicing, alkaline and something else, close, I might give it a look.

drjockers blog looks interesting too :)

The others I've skipped.

Could you check my comment a bit above and tell me what you think about German New Medicine.

Yes the series is long, but a lot of people have no idea, its repetitive to you and I, which is a good thing.
Gerson is a therapy and also a clinic, yes juicing organic diet, and coffee enema, amongst newer therapies, C, B17 ect.
Gerson has been around a long time, they are probably more like founders, not out to make a buck

GNM is great! They are definitely cutting edge on therapies, hyperbolic chamber therapies etc.
Ive looked over your links thanks for sharing, more knowledge the better

I see people post things like hemp oil cured people, it may have but everyone is unique and its never good to rely on a "silver bullet" multiple angles need to be taken and the biggest is prob non food toxicity, figure out where the stress is coming from and address it

Sorry, only saw your Budwig diet link after I posted.

Cherish every minute that she has left. I'm so sorry to hear the sad news you're going through. Facing the death of loved ones is never easy. I remember when my Poppop was dying of bone cancer, and he was trying to "put on a strong face" in front of us because he thought that's what he was supposed to do. When the funeral came, I was devastated inside, yet, the moment my little, sweet cousin looked up into my face, I suddenly thought, "I have to be brave for her. I'm older than them. I'm the one that has to set the example." So I set her on my lap and hid my pain. And I didn't let myself cry or grieve like I was supposed to. I held it all in. And it was unhealthy for me. It was years later, when I finally realized that that didn't make me any stronger. It just made me carry the pain a bit heavier... Then my Great Uncle became like a Poppop figure to me. I helped cook meals for him and heard his stories and drove over whenever I could to just be there and sit with him as he watched his favorite cowboy shows on TV. I was able to introduce him to my fiance. My Great Uncle said he wanted to come to my wedding. But no matter how he tried to hang on in time, he couldn't make it. He died a month before my wedding. It was like another hole sunk down into my heart, but this time, I had comfort in the fact that I was there for him as much as I could be, and this time, I let the tears go. I moved away when I got married, and then I call my Mommom, who misses Poppop soooo much. But she was crying hysterically because that was the very moment she found out that her oldest daughter, my Aunt just passed away. And there was nothing I could do. I couldn't drive or fly a thousand miles away to be there and hug my family, and it hurt so bad. I grew up very close with my family, especially with my Mom and sisters and I love teasing my Dad. But that week, it was rough. I looked through the texts from my Aunt, and I realized that I had made her smile when she really needed it. My Mom told me that every time my Aunt was sad, that was the moment that I sent her a text, and it made her happy. I can't text her anymore. She won't answer me. And as the years go by, the numbers of funerals I've been to for friends and family is staggering. I totally understand the feeling of being tired of all the deaths, and going to so many funerals. But when I can, I go anyway. Why? So I can be there to hug the others who are hurting. It's a part of the healing process. If that death hurts, it means you loved that person. And that love was worth having. Hold that love for your Mom while you can. Hug her so that you don't regret Not hugging her. Fix it so that when the pain of loss comes, then you can say, I loved my Mom, and I hugged her before she said goodbye. And I would like to say your post was not bad at all. You are sharing your pain, and that is healthy and good for you to express it. Just remember, closing the distance Now will give you some comfort when you remember it later. I hope this has been a help to you. There's so much more I could say, but I'll stop, as I've already written a book's worth... Lol. But seriously, hug your Mom. :)

Thanks, friend.

Also, to everyone: the internet over here right now is really bad, so if you reply, but I don't get to you, that's why.

Screw responding just make sure you do what you need to do for you and your mother!

hey keep it to yourself it's not like there isn't enough information out there anyways. do you want money? it sounds like it a bit, sure privacy is good, I'm just tired of people putting up paywalls over disease, I'm not trying to be a dick, I might sound like it, but I'm not trust me, I'm tired of seeing people in suits saying well those other people in suits are not helping, subscribe here and make sure you go get that too it does wonders. I'm biased for sure. I like people calling it out as it is, I like money, I learned this, it could help you, 50 bucks or whatnot. Then I can walk away in peace :D convoluted plots and dancing around subjects, :| I might flag my own comment :D anyways best of luck, just keep in mind there i info here, open and true based on my world view, no need to go in other caves.

"Then I can walk away in peace " , "I might flag my own comment :D anyways best of luck," :)

Also, thank her for raising you, and tell her that she did an outstanding job.

Dr. Morse. Youtube. Start there.

Just enjoy the time you have. Regret won't change anything. I hope you get through this. It will be hard buy its a part of life. Just let her know you're there for her.

First, I'm so very sorry to hear of your pain and potential loss. I wish you the very best in your ongoing relationship with your mother.

Having said that; It's not over until it's over. Doctors are notoriously unreliable. People with cancer and seemingly with one foot in the grave have recovered through the application of natural and unconventional healing modalities.

My "go-to" website has, for a long time, been http://cancertutor.com as a source of actionable information hard to find elsewhere.

😄😇😄

@creatr

So sorry to hear this. Its never too late to reconnect even if the relationship has been rough and rocky. She needs your love now more than ever and you will find it hard to forgive yourself if you dont at least make this one last effort to do so. Many folks out there never get the chance to reconnect and be there in the end before its too late so hug her, cry with her, whatever needs to be done, and I promise you, you will not regret a minute of it. Love and prayers going your way.

Damn I know what you feel mate - stay strong @schattenjaeger and let us know if we can help! These words might not do at all but talk to others as you do now, I lost my dad last year as of this shit cancer - it will kill a lot more - the smoking is what i also did and do and i know how shitty it is. Spend time with her, go home is what i would say, but not the easiest too. Hard to read about your girlfriend, that is a tough one too. Hit me on chat if i can do anything mate!

With my dad it was faster as we all thought and at least i could spend some quality time with him, had some great conversations about life etc - we liv far away and unfortunately i was not there when it happened - no one was.

oh this is fucked up, not much i can say as i have no knowledge in this field

keep tight

Thank you for sharing my sister has Leukemia cml and they found it where they can't cure it ... be strong... I take care of her ... people don't always understand when I cancel plans because every moment I spend time is another blessed day.

Best wishes to you in this difficult time and thank you for sharing your message with others.

My heart goes out to you and your mother. And I thank you for this precious reminder to love and express love for our parents, and those we love. Life is fleeting, it seems you've had your share of this awareness. I hope you will find a a way to sing your grief and praise your mother's life and spirit, and in so doing bring some peace to you both. Take care my friend.

Stay strong buddy , don't loose hope. May god bless your mom.

Great message. I am sorry to hear about this... I can't really imagine what you must be going through. Losing loved ones is pretty much the worst thing ever.

I am so so sorry to hear about this. Please please consider getting to Amsterdam if you can to try rick simpson oil on your mum. It is brilliant for curing cancer. I hope it is OK to leave this reply - I'm not promoting drug use but it's also good for pain and helps a person pass peacefully.

Just tell her how you feel.

This post gave me a double whammy, I have a challenging relationship with my mother and her husband has what is likely terminal cancer, it is more of a question of how long.

Brave post and it made me think.

I lost my mom to pancreatic cancer. Best advise? Be in the moment with her. Hug her, cry with her, laugh and enjoy her company. It's hard to say and hard to grasp at first but gratitude can be found in devastation. I know that sounds weird but think, you have been giving the heads up about the next part of her journey and of yours. Take time, be gentle with yourself and you will both get through this I promise. ❤️ Just scroll through the replies you have received and you will see you are not alone. Thank you for sharing with all of us.

Enjoy the time you have left together, nothing else you can do really. Maybe hope for a miracle.

I have been in a similar situation like u. My mother had Ovarian Cancer stage 3 c but she fought it hard. The main thing that ends soon is the chemo session and the surgery. I wish I had a good surgeon and never approached new line therapy on chemo my mom would have been with me. Chemo deactivates ur cells and changes their DNA. Natural elements can boost the immune system which in turn can slowly help eliminate the cancer. I wish you all the best and hope you get the courage for all that you endeavor.

Sorry for what's happening, but doctors kill for big pharma profits with out knowing it

It's not fun to lose someone, but in truth you dont lose them.
I contacted you through Steem.chat gave you the cure for cancer.

Take care.

https://www.cancertutor.com/budwig/

Good luck man, I posted something along these lines in Life this past week. Stay strong.

Please send this to your mom. It doesn't have to mean death. God bless you. https://thetruthaboutcancer.com/

hugs My friend... we do not know each other but I absolutely know the pain. I, too, have a difficult relationship with my mother. Not so much because of hard feelings but because she is a very difficult person to be around. She left my dad to live on her own in our country because she could not adapt to London life. Later on they divorced and I chose to continue living in London.

This separation drove us apart and every conversation we have ends up in an argument because of her constant lack of faith in me, as well as guilt twisting.

Despite all of that I love my mother and would never want to lose her, since she raised me and it is largely because of her that I am who I am today, due to the good examples and the bad.

Please, do not break down. Death comes to all. I lost my grandmother from cancer in September 2 years ago. It was a very difficult period in which she lived with us for a while before she wanted to go back to our country. I think she knew she was going away.

I guess... I just want to say that you are not alone in this position. And your grief is natural. Grieve for your loss, do not resist it. Allow yourself to feel her absence and immerse yourself in the experience. Only then can you get through it and grow.

I'll resteem, and remember - you are not alone. <3

I don't know you and I just want to give you a hug for sharing from your heart. I am so sorry your mom is battling cancer and you are both sharing an incredibly difficult ordeal. There is so much love and compassion you have for each other that even a stranger can feel it between the spaces of your heart felt words. Cancer is no stranger to me, my loved one and clients. I want it to go away for good and never invade our lives ever again. I believe and hope one day we will be able to prevent it. I will upvote, follow you and resteem your post. Bless you and your mom. I'm sending calming vibezzz and positive thoughts your way. xoxo

I lost both my mother and dad to cancer. I know what you are going through. Hang in there and be strong. Sending prayers and healing energy for you, your mother and your family.

I know how you feel.
My Mum passed in Feb from alzheimer's disease in Febuary this year.
She was living in Perth Australia and I was living in New Zealand.
I last saw her late last year and she didn't even recognise me.
My Dad passed about five years earlier from Bowel Cancer. I visited him a few weeks before he died. I spent two weeks having superficial conversations with him about this and that. I should have asked him about how he felt .
I didn't. The last thing I said to him when I went back to NZ was "See you later" How stupid was that ? I didnt know what else to say.

Cancer. It sucks. I have gone through the process of dealing with it with my own mother, three times. However after a long battle she somehow managed to escape out the other side okay. I am sorry to hear about your own mother's terminal diagnosis. I know just how much this disease sucks. Trying to do something about it, to help people suffering from it has been something that has driven my entire life (it's why I chose science as a profession). I am sorry for your loss. I am sorry for what your mother must now be suffering through. I am sorry for the pain you will be forced to experience because biology sucks, and scientists are not smart enough to find solutions. I wish you strength.

My mother died because of brain tumor I also had difficult relations with her. She had a difficult life with me when I was younger. I moved to her home for last 10 months, it was the most difficult moment in my life. I was trying somehow recoup all my mistakes, but the time passes so quickly.

I really wish you both best, and be strong as she needs you right now.

Золотые слова

How is your mom doing today? Sending more love, Aloha and healing energy!!

I quitted my career in the investment industry in February, 2017 so I could be with my octogenarian mother. We chatted daily and spent all my waking hours to be with her so she could feel loved and pampered. Life is all about making sacrifices and be proud of them even after the loved one is long gone.

i think when a person dies, the people left behind are affected more, death comes to all, any instance we can lose those that we really love but didnt appreciate, u are so right . treasure each moment as the last </3 i lost my mother few years back at a very young age , till now im still not over that loss all i can say is my best prayers to ur mom whos fighting cancer and to u support her in these times and be with her. all the best

Im the same way with my father bro , all u can do is be strong for her and make the most of ur time together.

Unfortunately you cannot cure her ,but you should understand she still could live. Many many years.No one has an expiration date! Would she want to sit
In that room & dwell upon this right now.Please do enjoy if not for you do ut for her! I lost my Dad and a yr later my Mom was killed in car accident she was never sick. And both left me with so much depression,anxiety over wheming i was drowning in sorrow and I still am on a level . The fact is we all die at some point never knowing exactly when so live .....ok ..at least try and she is still with you ...so enjoy each day as for all we know tomorrow may never ever come

I feel bad for you. I don't know how you are feeling or what you are going through, but I know what it's like to have bad relations with the mother for petty reasons. The thing we commenter should do is actually think through this: are we appreciating our loved ones enough?

Commenters, don't go looking for random tips to fight cancer "Hey some guy sold this one special organic smoothie which can win cancer" but the best way to respect what you are going through is to listen and learn what you are saying.

Knowing you will lose your mother will never feel good. Even though nobody else can replace your mother, you'll never be alone.

I'd say when you see your mother, you show your feelings and tell her what you think. Otherwise you might regret afterwards for not telling her.

Sorry to hear about this. Stay strong man. Spend as much time as possible with her.

You mom tried to hide a true just because she would like to see you happy.
So, go out! do it for her. You are in Paris. live your life and send her your smaily selfy.

(y mom died from Cancer 20years ago. I knew, she preferred to see me happy)

So sad to read this, so sorry man, just try and hold it together, be strong for her and yourself..

My prayers are with you

I'm sorry for your mother. I hope you and your family will be fine

What a sad day brother. I'm really bad at this so My only advice is that Cheerish and embrace all of the good and wonderful moments you have with your mom. we are in this world just wandering until our time comes. Be strong! and May God give Strength and wisdom in this hard times to come.

Sorry to hear that.

If you can, try to still enjoy your vacation. Your mother's situation will not improve if you are depressed.

Yes, her condition may be terminal - but it is still possible that for a time she will be able to live and enjoy life. Try to be there for her - that's the best you can do, probably.

I'm sorry for the pain you're dealing with.. Keep your head up and be with her.

Resteemed homie

This post received a 4.9% upvote from @randowhale thanks to @thecryptofiend! For more information, click here!

Very sorry for this news, I wish for the best for you and your family....

I really feel for you and your situation. I once read something about how the funerals and mourning are for ourselves and not for the dead at all since they are at peace. I'm in a similar spot right now my Grandma helped raise my because my dad wasn't around, she has lewey body disease (like a combination of parkinsons and dementia) she's still alive but I've been mourning her for at least six months because she isn't who she used to be, she is angry and mean and it's so hard to have these last memories of her, meanwhile with all the stress going on with that my Mom had been losing weight but we chalked it up to stress..she actually ended up having a very rare form of Lukemia called CML where she has to take medication everyday for the rest of her life but should have a normal life span, but before it kicked in seeing her so weak when she's such a tomboy and handy around the house really broke me down. It's ridiculous how much cancer treatment is and how outdated a lot of it is. Luckily the drug she needs came out in 2010 without it the survival rate was less than a year... and just like your mom you wouldn't know it she barely told anyone and she didn't tell me until she knew exactly what kind because she didn't want to worry me.

We absolutely need to open up more and show people our real feelings while they are here because a funeral, flowers on a tombstone, it's too late, it might make us feel better but it doesn't fulfill that bond that we need with those we love.

Thank you for the reminder though again because any of us could die at any time, even just crossing the street or driving to work. I've been working on forgiveness and trying to be in the present more because of things like this, we only have the present to tell people we love them.

Don't know what to say. Wish you all the strength you need.

Sorry. I dont know you or your mother but I share your pain. I really wish you the best with this entire situation.

Very sorry to read those sad news. I hope you'll find the strength to cope with the upcoming changes in your life.

A wonderful book!
💕 To your and your Mom's way

https://www.google.co.id/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/books/2005/oct/22/highereducation.classics

According to Highest Yoga Tantra (from which The Tibetan Book of the Dead derives), only during the process of dying can we achieve liberation from the cycle of existence. Advanced yogis can make trial runs by inducing a deathlike state, but after death the rest of us must try to remember what we've read in The Tibetan Book of the Dead and put it into practice. Even the totally unprepared needn't despair, however, provided a qualified guru is on hand to read out the relevant bits to our corpse. Ideally, he should have a soothing, melodious voice, to calm us down.

Congratulations @schattenjaeger!
Your post was mentioned in the hit parade in the following category:

  • Pending payout - Ranked 3 with $ 335,15

Oh friend, very sad to read that, I hope you can stay strong

I'm sorry to read what you are going through, please be strong, you and your mum are in my prayers.

sorry to say......good luck

I am really sorry to hear this , I hope your mom gets better soon. We should always be positive at hard times. I hope you keep strong. If you need moral support we are always one family as steemit schattenjaeger.
Upvoted.

Hello! I just upvoted you! I help new Steemit members! Upvote this comment and follow me! i will upvote your future posts! To any other visitor, upvote this post also to receive free UpVotes from me! Happy SteemIt!

I don't even want to read this so depressing but this I have to as you can't shield yourself all the time!

May you find the peace of mind to accept that which is inevitable, AMEN!

Lost my mom to cancer too. Sorry for you.

Very deep and touching. It makes me introspective. What you express is very powerful.

I'll really try to make a second effort to make people feel more appreciated and beloved.

Hello steemit,follow

Have you seen The Burzynski Documentaries, "Cancer is Serious Business" and "Cancer Cure Coverup"? Essentially, there have been more than 20 attempts to revoke this one doctor's medical license, with each attempt (the most recent being in March of this year, 2017) failing miserably:

"the Judges found that they failed to prove 99.996% of the charges against Burzynski, while proving 0.004% of the charges."
-Excerpt from verdict of March 3, 2017 trial

Allegedly, he's been synthesizing a protein that has cured extremely advanced stages of cancer since the 80's. When one considers that cancer is a multi-trillion dollar per year industry, it's hardly a surprise that nobody is "curing" it, and that if this doctor is legit, he poses as much of a threat to that great cash cow as cannabis poses to the cash cows of big pharma/cotton/alcohol & tobacco, etc.

I don't know what it would cost you to get your mom to Texas, or to have him ship the medicine to your hospital (last I checked he was allowed to ship internationally but not to other U.S. States outside of Texas--per a garbage FDA ruling.) But you may wish to watch the documentary in any case, if only for the stories of affected families.

P.S.

Should just break down and hug her, risking breaking her down?

Yes.

"If there's one thing that's real clear to me
no one dies with dignity
we just try to avoid the elephant somehow."
-Jason Isbell

Listen to full song here

The greatest gift you could give her would be having the strength to let her break down, and to share in her crushing sadness. Nothing would be stronger, or braver than not letting her feel alone in such an extremely isolating experience.

All my love to you both in this. F*ck your assessment of this post "not being great". Thank you for sharing.

Please appreciate your parents as long as their still around... We won't know how much we love and need them until we lost them... Please appreciate what we have... Spent sometime with them... So you won't regret when their are not around anymore...

@schattenjaeger, I'm so sorry for the pain that you are suffering. It's hard to know what to say to help or comfort. Thank you for reminding me to love those around me. Life gets busy and I don't ever want to forget to do that. Best of luck to you both.

Sorry to hear that's rough keep ur head up high and remember the good times with your mom. Much love if you need someone to talk to reach out I lost my grandfather who was like a dad to me to cancer. Cancer sucks. #FuckCancer.

So sorry to hear about your situation. Thank you for reminding me how lucky I am.

Thank you for posting @schattenjaeger.

This must have been hard to write and be even harder to experience. We here at Steem are drawn into your thoughts as if face to face.

As you have given us liberty to answer your query....what should you do when you see your mum. She would appeciate you remaining strong that she may not have to be as strong.....that she would be able to converse without thinking of the pain she brings with this news.

There was a news article not long ago stating that those who decide to forego chemo-therapy are living an average of ten years after being diagnosed with cancer.

If you and your mum are believers in Christ Jesus...you can have confidence you will see each other again where there is no more sorrow, pain or tears.

The issue is...What do you think of Christ....Do you accept or reject His grace gift of Salvation.

....translated from the original Greek language...

For you see God loved the world (mankind) so much that He gave His uniquely born Son that anyone who believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. John 3.16

For by grace are you saved through faith; and that not of ourselves it is the gift of God...not of works lest any man should boast. Ephesians 2.8,9

Thank you for this opportunity to think on these things.

Kindest Regards, bleujay.

I'm sorry for your devastating news. I hope i can give you some insight into this from your mothers perspective. I was diagnosed with cancer earlier this year and i can tell you that it is the hardest thing to go through. Cancer is a truly lonely illness and having to deal with your own mortality is confusing. Your mother has probably been through every emotion imaginable but without a doubt the worst is sadness thinking about the things she will leave behind. I am a father to three beautiful, funny, smart girls and thinking of leaving them breaks me. But despite all the sadness there is something else present, i no longer dwell on all the negative things that have happened. All the mistakes and family arguments just don't matter anymore.

Don't feel selfish, everything you are feeling is because you love your mother. The love you have for your mother is special thing and that will not go away or be any less special when your mother is gone.

Take care

well don't make another mistake by being sad in your hotel room, go walk around the town and enjoy the art of Paris, in a somber mood you can take it all in and understand that the whole point of your mothr having you is so her DNA can live on in you and you need tio live and be hapy, youll regret it if you dont, call her when your walking arund, tell her about what you see or video chat with her while you walk around,

I am so sorry to hear that. It is so hard losing people you love. Big hugs to you!

Hi @schattenjaeger , I understand how you feel and as I see both my parents frailing at the same time in age and battling their respective health, I do understand how useless we are when we can't help much.

When I was in a class a life coach actually asked me, "What would you do if you have this little time to live?"

I cried, for days, whenever I looked at that question.

And I would like to encourage you with that with the same question. Not to throw more pressure at you, but to encourage you to look at a different light. Your mom is still around and it is even more important to have that little time left turn into that light that will keep you going; because biologically, your mom don't really die, because she lives in you, you have a part of her.

We all have regrets in life and we must not let that drown us. The last we can give to ourselves as we complete this journey, is regret.

I totally encourage you to create little moments of precious time with you and your mom and your grandmother, together, and re-connect with her. Don't fear for the separation. It is going to be painful. I know. Every time I think of the people I cared and lost in the years, it is very painful; and you have experienced it with your late girlfriend as well. But that little moments, will be our light when we have the toughest time as we journeyed on; that closure, will be your balm in the darkest times.

I am very sure, she put up that strong face, is because she wants you to live on. Live for her even. And that is what she wants the most from you. This is every mother's heart and wish: for her children to live a happy life.

So smile, give your biggest smile even though your eyes are hurt with fear and uncertainties. You could be surprised how much love can be harnessed when we humans face trails boldly.

I would like to lastly close this with a poem I read some time ago, a father to his daughter I think, because that could be their last time seeing each other.

I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright no matter how grey the day may appear.
I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun even more.
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive and everlasting.
I wish you enough pain so that even the smallest of joys in life may appear bigger.
I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.
I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good-bye.

I will resteem this for you to keep your wish going. Stay strong. This warm community is here for you.

:(

Thanks for this post. People need to be reminded of what's important every now and then.

Tell your Mom. Tell her everything you told us, and tell her anything that comes to mind. Kiss her, hug her, and make the most of the remaining time. You will not regret it!

Thoughts and prayers coming your way, and hers. I do not know you, but God knows, and will hear. Peace, Bro. I think you know what to do, down deep.

F.U.R.R. = follow, upvote, reply and resteem

PS: Lost my baby bro to brain cancer, it's been 3 years now and we did share some quality time together in his last days. He was strong for those around him, even though he knew it was just a matter of time. Died at home, just taking 2 Tylenol every 4 hours, he was one tough sum-buck. He died with no debt which is amazing to me, the treatments were terribly expensive... He set his family up pretty well. I miss him...