No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted. ~Aesop
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Welcome to the 5th fruit and value of the series that I have been attempting to build up. Today, the spotlight is on kindness.

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I think what makes the world beautiful is kindness, especially random acts of kindness, such as giving free hugs, a word of encouragement from a stranger, a timely little gift as a reminder of how awesome you are, a favour from a friend and the like. Kindness is an embedded ability within a human, no matter how cruel or 'evil' a person is, because our heart cannot be lied to. It comes out so naturally from us, maybe especially at a tender age when our heart is much "cleaner or purer". I actually wrote a post on empathy, if you are interested to read.

Perhaps, as we grow up, we got wronged, disappointed, hurt by some people especially those dearest to us, then kindness gradually reduces within us. Still, kindness will find its way to shine, because it is a natural part of us. Does kindness means just doing good or being nice to others?

Being Kind and Being Nice, are they the same?

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To me, I think they aren't the same. Very often than not, kindness starts from the intention of the heart, and it is pure with the motivation of love. Sometimes, it may not look that nice to the receiver of the action, because the receiver may have a different view of kindness, totally. So, kindness is from the end of the person who initiates the intention of an action, while whether the action is nice or not, it will be 'judged' by the receiver and sometimes can be misunderstood. Some people can be nice to everyone, giving gifts and saying sweet words but they may not be kind in their intention, maybe doing it for self-fulfillment, though the receivers would probably feel that the actions are very nice and "worship" him or her.

Kindness can often be compelled by empathy, which is a sensitive feeling of understanding and wanting to show love to another person. It is different from sympathy too, where situations are so bad that pity sets in. When kindness is exercised, the receiver would be able to resonate with the compassion it is coming from, whether it is there and then or much later. Sometimes kindness is not what the initiator prefers to offer, but what the receiver needs at that particular time. Sometimes, it can be not what the receiver wants, but what the receiver needs too. (Did I just complicate things for you? Oops!)

When kindness is exercised, the receiver would be able to resonate with the compassion it is coming from.

Kindness is Not To Be Taken For Granted

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Here are two stories of kindness offered but not being appreciated. Well, knowing the initiators, I know they were not expecting for something in return or a repayment of their kindness. Here are my stories with names changed:

Story A - Sam and Will were taking a lift from Lucy. Lucy was running late though he has told them a time to expect him. Sam went in the car and started asking why Lucy was late and with exclamations like "Aiyo", "Aih" (meaning some local slangs in complaint mode). Will was keeping quiet though he was also rushing and thought they might be late. Before starting the journey, Lucy even requested to go up to their house to use their bathroom. So, it made Sam even more impatient and kept checking the time. On their journey back without Sam, finally Will asked Lucy what made her late. Lucy explained that she unexpectedly had her menses came that day and she needed to go to the supermarket to grab some necessary things to "tackle the situation", hence there was a detour. Will then told Sam, because he was thinking that it was a favour they had from Lucy to pick them out of her convenience and whatever was causing her to be late, they should appreciate her favour. I don't think Sam meant to be mean or unkind, though could be kinder. Anyway, all three of them were not late for the event and were 5 minutes early!

Story B - Carol and Joseph have been friends for more than 15 years. Because of Joseph running a business, Carol offered to help him with some creative advertisements. Joseph would pay Carol a minimal amount for her service. However, business was not doing well and Carol was also doing barely minimal in her commitment. There came a point of time, Joseph had to stop her service because of insufficient funds and explained it to her kindly. Carol took it the wrong way and things got personal. Carol was upset and had been talking behind the back of Joseph.

In both stories, I noticed the kindness of at least one person. Kindness is actually not an obligation from others, and is usually offered with a willing and good heart but it can be underappreciated and worse, misunderstood. It is definitely not an entitlement for anyone to say others are obligated to show kindness to them. Remember to appreciate those who have showed you kindness or favour. They need not do it, but they did it!

Though kindness is not expecting a return, I still think kindness should be repaid with kindness. Genuine kindness can be hard to be detected but they are really the pace setter. The same goes when someone is mistreating us, we can still respond with kindness. The crazy thing about genuine kindness is it has covered the cost and possibility to be backstabbed and unappreciated, WOW!

Kindness is actually not an obligation from others, and is usually offered with a willing and good heart but it can be underappreciated and worse, misunderstood.

Kindness as A Way of Living

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GOOD NEWS: KINDNESS CAN BE LEARNT!
Firstly, be kind to yourself. As my first picture has put it, kindness starts with you and me. When there is kindness within, it will show in our behaviour and speech especially. There are really kinder ways of saying things.

Secondly, be kind to those around you, trying hard to understand their situations even if you may disagree with them. Empathy still works even when we disagree. Purposefully think before you say something: Is this what I need to say or what they need to hear? If yes, how can I say it in a way that is easier for them to receive? After all, you want the message to be get across and be delivered, I am pretty sure. So, let's work on the communication of kindness, by speaking it in love and in a manner the receiver can get it without being all affected but forget your message.

Thirdly, get healing from God or get closure with whoever has hurt you before so that your kindness "duct" would not be blocked and clouded by bitterness.

Lastly, get compassion from God if you are unable to be kind. Ask Him and He would generously give. Learn it even if there is just one small part of you can be kind.

Be kind and helpful to one another, tender-hearted [compassionate, understanding], forgiving one another [readily and freely], just as God in Christ also forgave you. ~Ephesians 4:32 (Amplified Version)

From the way I write, I bet some of you may be able to guess that I am NOT a kind person all the time. In fact, I am rather mean some times. Hahaha! However, because this is a value that my God honours, I am also learning it and I am now more free to be kind-ER. That is one of the ways I am tending the garden of my heart. Kindness really goes a long way, and everyone can use a bit of kindness. Kindness re-energizes people because our heart is made to offer and receive kindness. It gives us the warm fuzzy feeling. It is a beautiful thing to wear on and it never goes out of trend.

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Wherever there is a human being, there is an opportunity for a kindness. ~Lucius Annaeus Seneca
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Thank you for reading what I have just written, that was very kind of you. Last but not least, if you are interested to check out the other posts of this series, you may visit them at:

Fruits and Values Series #1: Love

Fruits and Values Series #2: Joy and Happiness

Fruits and Values Series #3: Peace

Fruits and Values Series #4: Patience

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