Fruits and Values Series #2: Joy and Happiness

Are you being joyful today or feeling happy? I was just thinking recently there have been a lot of wishes like Happy New Year, Happy Valentine's Day, Happy Anniversary etc. I really love Chinese New Year season but every happy occasion would come to an end. We usually wish someone to be happy on special occasions, how about the day-to-day life? How do we go through the days without anything special? Can we still be happy?

_{Image Source: Unsplash}

Is there any difference between Joy and Happiness?

_{Image Source: Unsplash}

I used to not be able to differentiate between these two. I thought they are the same until hardships and some circumstances in life hit me. They make me realize the differences between joy and happiness, totally. While they can be good feelings that uplifts us, they aren't the same.

In my opinion, happiness is very subjective, so much so that to me, happiness is a dependent/responsive variable if it is in a science experiment. It is often a response to something, such as a surprise, an adrenaline rush, efforts of ourselves or someone else etc. It requires an external stimulI or trigger for happiness to happen. If something is not working right, happiness is at stake. It could be the Endorphins working in our mind.

On the other hand, joy is an internal job and it requires practises or rather cultivation until the internal environment in us is changed. Then, it would function as part of us and it can be become a consistent "mechanism" should we face difficulties or good happenings. It no longer depends on things or people around us. If joy is a variable in a science experiment, it is a constant variable, regardless the other changing variables, because even if they change, joy would still come from within to "stabilize" the whole internal world.

Happiness may be temporary but joy is lasting.

Joy as a Strength

_{GIF Source: Giphy}

Joy has a nature of overflowing. It doesn't just fulfill one and that's all. It is contagious and would spread too. It can't be kept down under because it would burst forth! Joy is STRONG!

Because of its nature, joy can serve as a foundation in our very soul being, for the other emotions and feelings to rest upon. It expands our character and heart too at the same time. I believe this is why when we can be joyful in times that we aren't happy about like in sickness or troubles, that joy will be the strength to spur us on. Just like in the story of Jesus, I couldn't believe He had joy when He was suffering on the cross.

We look away from the natural realm and we fasten our gaze onto Jesus who birthed faith within us and who leads us forward into faith’s perfection.His example is this: Because his heart was focused on the joy of knowing that you would be his, he endured the agony of the cross and conquered its humiliation, and now sits exalted at the right hand of the throne of God! ~Hebrews 12:2 The Passion Translation (TPT)

Then Ezra said to them, “Go [your way], eat the rich festival food, drink the sweet drink, and send portions to him for whom nothing is prepared; for this day is holy to our Lord. And do not be worried, for the joy of the Lord is your strength and your stronghold.” ~Nehemiah 8:10 Amplified Bible (AMP)

Nevertheless, I think it is very challenging to adopt a mindset or attitude of joy but it is not impossible. Having said that, I myself have yet to reach there fully (still relapsing into mood swings and drowning in them sometimes, oops). It makes it more difficult when unexpected situations can just happen without any anticipation on our end.

So, how can we adopt JOY into us internally?

Accept that we can only control ourselves and not any circumstances that come our way.

_{GIF Source: Giphy}

Making peace with ourselves is very important and it changes our response towards whatever life may throw at us. You know the famous saying: When life throws lemons at you, make lemonade. I would say: add honey or sugar and drink something sweet! Hahaha! After that, face the problem or circumstance with a joyful heart. It may not make us laugh all the time, but our attitude will be positive and not defeated. We would be able to rise above the situation and not succumb under it, even if we still have to solve it.

Laugh!

_{GIF Source: Giphy}

Yes L-A-U-G-H! These are five magic letters. Laugh at almost everything if possible. This I learnt from my son recently. He laughs when others are laughing even when he doesn't know what they are laughing about. It is amusing to watch him but I like his attitude of laughing at everything. When there is something difficult happening, try to laugh at it first. Maybe it makes you feel 'fake', but it may help to lighten up. Your shoulders will feel less tense and yes, we still have to handle and do the necessary but with a joyful manner.

Cry and mourn if you must.

_{GIF Source: Giphy}

Hey, are you sure this fits in the topic we are talking about? Since when crying and mourning can relate to joy?

Well, I personally think emotions are God-gifts, whilst they may not be good leaders, they are good indicators. We don't mask ourselves behind something that may have upset us, but to process it with time and let healing comes in. It is possible to mourn and yet joy doesn't vanish. Joy can exist along with the other emotions like rage, sadness etc, best illustrated in the Pixar movie, Inside Out. It is not the feeling of happiness but the essence that holds our being together like a cornerstone. Only when mourning is done, joy can come in and take its place!

Here's what I believe:

There maybe pain in the night, but joy comes in the morning!

Set healthy boundaries

_{GIF Source: Giphy}

Since joy is an internal job, we have to learn to take care of our internal world and cut down on things or even people who may affect us. It is not saying that these are "evil" but rather know ourselves. If the social media is feeding us negative emotions or comparisons that isn't benefiting us, then keep these out of our boundaries. Setting boundaries doesn't mean cutting off relationships or avoiding all things, but rather it would allow different extent of influences in our lives and decide on which or who can be in our core or not.

A person who is able to set boundaries is a powerful person and one who knows his/her own capacity. As we do this, we are nurturing our internal world. We need to tend the garden of our heart to decide what kind of "seeds" are allowed to bloom and what "weeds" would be uprooted. As the trees of joy are deeply rooted in our hearts, they will become the "game plan" in any situations, be it happy or sad ones. It will become the strength in ALL circumstances. It enables us to give thanks in all times as gratitude would attract and facilitate the manifestation of joy.

Joy can be cultivated and it takes time which is the best "trainer" for it. It can be our core if we continuously choose it over and over.

I define joy as a sustained sense of well-being and internal peace - a connection to what matters. ~Oprah Winfrey Source

Joy does not simply happen to us. We have to choose joy and keep choosing it every day.
~ Henri Nouwen. Source

Joy is not in things; it is in us. ~Richard Wagner. Source

_{Image Source: Pexels}

Joy is a fruit of life and an attitude. We are responsible and are powerful enough to choose joy. May joy be the essence of your life and motivates you in everything you are in! Bless you.

Stick with me, have a read:

• Fruits and Values Series #1: Love

_{Animated Banner Created By @zord189}