Void entered my heart on Saturday. I am deeply still struggling with this and writing this I find every word to be harder than previews word. I have written a few blogs today and posted them while trying to find the voice to write this. They did distract my mind a little bit which I really needed.

I have never been a person really into material possessions. Which also included not taking many photos in my life. I’m someone who rather spends my time not cluttering up my life with trying to preserve every moment. It times like these where I am just left with the memories, items, and very view photos of him somewhere on a hard drive.

There were so many things my cat loved. Very simple and cheap but brought so much joy into his life.

I had a rare chance that many do not have in this lifetime. I witness my cat’s birth in our backyard and I was with him in his last moments of life. He was struggling for well over a year the time was coming just was not expected this soon. I spent a lot more time than normal knowing this. Which I am very thankful for.

Our Last Adventure

Hurricane Irma was a monster of a storm. The track changed so many times you just could not be certain anymore where it would end up exactly—except somewhere over Florida. The eye was supposed to be over us a few times; then it was not, then I believe in the end it was or least very close.

Before the storm hit my cat was not worried at all. Which made me feel better in a way. He normally was not one to handle bad weather really well. I just assumed he know something I did not and perhaps he did.

Two days after the hurricane had passed we still had no power. We both were miserable in Florida’s heat and humanity. On that morning I heard a crying at my open window. At first, I thought it was some wild cat trying to get into my bedroom. So I shut the window and tried to fall back asleep.Not even 20 seconds later I heard another meow and I just know in my heart it was my cat!

As he has done a few times in the past he would escape when someone was leaving. Then he always ran to my bedroom window and woke up me to get back in. He could not even have been out here for more than five minutes.

His paws were dirty from the sand and mud and I gave him a towel bath which he hates very much! But hey, can’t let dirty footprint Mr. Cat into the house.

He was playful enough during the three days we don’t have electricity that I assumed everything was going fine. Sure, he looked unhappy but we all were.

I made sure he had lots of water to drink in his containers. We open up a few cans of wet cat food a nice treat for him (normally he just gets dry food). Lots of bags of treats to go around for both cat treats and human. We even had ice cubs since I made them for well over a week!

We did our best to make a miserable situation great. He had his favorite toys and I even spent some extra time than normal with him since no electronics!

We then got the power back on and a few days later he passed away. He waited for everyone to be home from work to have his final goodbyes.

Almost Had a Dog

Pexels edit with Lunapic

Perhaps two or three years back we had a dog stay over. The owner claimed they were moving and could no longer keep the dog.

The dog was brought in and hated my cat almost instantly. My cat on other hand loved other animals. He spent many hours sitting close by to where the dog was caged and would look at him and meow in a friendly voice. Almost like he was saying “I just want to be friends dog.” He showed zero aggression or malice towards the dog.

I always wanted to get him a brother. I just could never afford to have a second pet and that would have caused a few issues as well. I really was hoping the dog coming into our life would work out.

Turned out the dog had a few medical issues with it that we more than noticed by the second day. In the end, he was returned to the owner. Who was not, in fact, moving at all but wanted to find their pet a home since they could no longer care for it. We didn’t have the money either.

His Best Friend

Pexels edit with Lunapic

For about three or four years of his life, he had a best friend –a wildcat. Every other day almost like clockwork the wild tan cat would come by. I never wanted to scare either of them with a camera so I only have a memory of the wildcat.

They would meow at each other for a while and then they both be on their way. Anytime anyone in the house noticed the tan cat outside a window or walking across the lawn we would go and get our cat. He would meow and then the other one would come running towards a window to say hi as well.

A few years back the tan cat stop coming by the house. This happened once in a while but I could tell something was up. On the second week, my cat sat in the window he would most often see this cat. He almost didn't want to leave his spot. For well over a week, or weeks (I don’t’ recall how long) he slept by the window, looked out it, and meowed during certain times of the day.

After a while, he gave up. Was sad and didn’t want to eat or drink or even play. We never did see that cat come by ever again.

Surely, over the years there were a few cats that came to visit but never for so many years like that one did.

His Favorite Toys

He was much like me in a way and never cared for much. We would get him things and he was always happy with what he already had.

Cat Teaser

One thing he loved and we had to replace a few times where those cat teasers. We could entertain each other for hours with me tossing, dragging, and making other motions with the stick to fling the feathered end towards him.
He would chase around the room after it, Do an almost backflip in the air to catch it. He would roll over and pounce as many times as possible on it. After a while, the feathers would fall off it and he takes a bite out of the end of it shorting it to a point it was time for another.

Towels

Not sure what it was about towels but he loved them for whatever reason even more so blue ones when we had them around. Would be seen dragging one or sleeping on top of one. We even got him a cat bed once; but nope, it was not his towel and therefore he didn’t want to sleep on it!

He always prefers blue towels over others. Which I always found strange since cats are color-blind. Perhaps he could tell or maybe it was just a smell that it gave off since those were the ones that were taken to the beach.

He really loved the smell of the beach and outdoors. Anytime you would come home from the beach he just runs up and starts smelling you, you’re shoes, and your bags!

We would also leave a window sometimes just open enough for a bit of wind to come in. Any time a window was slightly open in the house he would just come running toward it. Jump up on the ledge of the window and sniff!!!!!!!

Cat Condo

We were very blessed from a very young age of his to pick up a used and cheap cat condo. He loved sleeping at the top of it, jumping down the hole at the top to the second layer. Even hiding out in the tunnel to run out and tap someone on the foot.

He would drive me crazy jumping from my bed or a table onto the top of it. Then on top of it back to my bed or a table. It was a bit flimsy so it would fall over a few times.

I would often toss the cat teaser down the top hole and he would sit at the bottom waiting. Before it would hit the second level he would jump up and tap, tap, tap it with his paw. I would do that over and over maybe a dozen times before we both got tired of it for a few hours.

At one point in his life, he was too fat to fit up the hole to top layer anymore. He could still climb to the top of it using the sides. He also had one heck of a vertical jump and sometimes would almost make his way all the way up there. After a few years, he just got too tall and wide for it. He would often time still be seen sitting in the middle of it.

His Pacifier

He had this one toy I would just call a pacifier. It really was not. It was round with a ball in the middle that made a sound. They also had feathers but only for a first day or so because more than likely he would have them out and be playing with the feathers!

He would often carry that toy around like a baby and a pacifier. He would run up to me with it. Drop it at my feet and I would toss it and he chases after it. Bring it all the way back to me and have me toss it again. Often times he would drop it behind my leg or just out of reach of me.

It was like he was trying to get me to get up off my computer chair and go play with him. Sometimes I had the time; other times, I had been up for days and just had zero energy to get done what I needed let alone spend time playing.

First Two Years of Life

First two years of his life he spent 99% of his time in my room. Didn’t care about going anywhere else. In fact, over his lifetime I spent less than 2 weeks away from him. Anytime I did have to go for a day or three away it was a struggle for both of us.

When he was first born I would at first sneak him into the house in a box.

He would often try and sit on whatever desk I had at the time. Even later in his life when he would come and visit me from another part of the house he just loved either being on my desk, under the desk next to my feet, or sitting in my lap.

I first had a metal desk that shook and was rather thin but tall enough to double stack 2 monitors on top of each other and had a metal shelf above. Where he would always try and climb to.

When how was small enough to fit into my hand I would often just put him up top and he just looks down at me all day or night long till he fell asleep.

After he got too big to get up there anymore I had to always have the blinds up on my window so he could sit on the windowsill which was right next to me.

I would spend hours a day having a ball dropped by my feet and me failing most time to reach for it or even find it. A few times I even ran over the toy with my chair or step on it. He was always so heartbroken when a toy broke. Then I would go find another and it was like nothing happened at all. Expect my foot still hurting from stepping on pointed broken plastic bits!

Always There for Me

Pexels edit with Lunapic

No matter if it was rain or shine, I was in a foul mood or not. He was there for me. Always wanted to play even when I didn’t. Always wanted to be held even when I just wanted to be left alone to suffer by myself.

I needed him more than he needed me. I have never been one to have many friends or deal well with other humans. He never cared because all he wanted was me.

I love you very much and you will be missed

Information

I have written this in trying to cope with loss of my beloved cat.

Unless otherwise cited photos were taken by @enjar with a tablet.