Why do couples get divorced? A brief study of the causes of divorce.

in busy •  9 months ago

Children do not like seeing their parents fighting, nor do they get divorced, but sometimes there is no choice.

The study examined about 400 cases of divorces
and examined the reasons for divorce.
What causes a divorce?
Maybe a betrayal or an extramarital affair?
the survey shows that this is not the case.

Only 11% -12% of the divorces did so for this reason.

A one-time lapse, in most cases, does not necessarily constitute a sufficient cause for the dissolution of the family unit.

Many of the betrayed spouses are prepared to forgive and avoid the heavy price of dismantling the family unit, which involves dealing with the financial and other implications.

sometimes the married couple realizes that they need to "work" on the relationship, which betrayal has been only a symptom.

Almost every third couple divorces due to financial difficulties.

There are serious allegations about concealment, the disappearance of funds, and even the emptying of the bill behind the back in bad faith, Such things happen because of the lack of transparency on the part of the party managing the money.

In addition, Couples who do not manage to "finish the month" and maintain the family properly, slowly create ongoing conflict and mutual accusations.

Sometimes, the feeling that the partner who does not good enough or there is someone else out there that can be better.

People do not settle for what they have

"economic violence":

in recent years there has been a greater awareness of women towards the economic violence of men. The most prominent feature of economic violence is the husband's total control over the management of the family unit's finances and being the only person making decisions related to the family's assets that pertain to the couple's shared rights and obligations.

In many cases, it turns out that many women who are "economically battered" are educated women and even those holding senior positions, but in their homes, they are submissive and left behind maybe because of the traditional system that the man is the breadwinner and the woman is at home with the children and cooks in the kitchen.

Domestic violence

Not many women break up a family unit because of violence, the opposite is true. The sad reality shows that a large proportion of the battered women, who even fled the house and moved to shelters for battered women, return to their spouses. In the end, and only a few of them, break down and decide to break up, The data on domestic violence in developing countries are still worrisome.

Personal crisis

This is a situation in which one of the spouses 'reveals himself' or feels that he has exhausted his relationship after several years of marriage. Such crises usually come in "round ages," like 40.50, who feel they do not exhaust life, that life is not what they expected. This is usually the result of significant life tasks that have ended, the exhaustion of a career and / or economic accumulation.

To conclude the survey, most people who get divorced are people who think there is something better outside than they know at home, something that was once out of the question today is common

What do you think?

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Well done
But I think marriage should begin on a true basis, not just for love
Thanks for sharing this with us‏

I always advice if you will enter in a relationship, to put God always as center of it. Other's find it funny or non-sense but for me that is the secret of lasting relationship. Love fades in any aspect you see it. But with the help of the teachings and wisdom, it will make you realize that having partner is a gift from God that you have to take care of, and will make you hold whatever trials may come including financial. :)

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totally agree

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Great comment

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So true, thanks for that. I am going throug one too, and requesting SBD donations to cover my legal costs.... https://steemit.com/teamsouthafrica/@pjcswart/please-help-me-not-get-screwed-lol-in-my-divorce

I think one of the most important factors is missing from this survey. 'Genuine Love', if two people love each other genuinely , none of the factors raised in this article would ever be a problem.

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I agree with you; if there is true love, there will never be divorce! Its sad that the current iteration of love in our generation is quite shallow and has no foundation in the essence of true love!

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not always

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I just separated from my partner of 28 years and it was a longtime coming like 10 years.. we both spoke Yesterday and tried to work out what went wrong in our relationship and we came to the same conclusion that we had just drifted apart more and more each year and now do not have anything in common things I like to do she does not and things she likes I do not anything so we fell out of love along time ago but never wanted to address the issue really until a we had a massive fallout 2 weeks ago and both decided we are better off going our own ways.. it hurt a lot for the first 3 days and still does.. but we still talk and life goes on, time will heal both of us..

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So true, thanks for that great comment, following YOU! I am going through one too, and requesting SBD donations to cover my legal costs, would you be so kind as to donate some SBD to me? https://steemit.com/teamsouthafrica/@pjcswart/please-help-me-not-get-screwed-lol-in-my-divorce

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Sorry, dizzy, but love can be a feeling and don't we all think we are "in love" when we marry? Maybe not. Maybe we just want someone to love us and when it doesn't happen, then we stop loving our spouse. I do hope though if you have never been married, that you will consider your spouse first, but don't be a whimp and let him/her walk all over you. Once that happens, you might as well have married your worse enemy.

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Wise words! True love can solve every problem in the world..

@amiramnoam - I believe that at around the mid-life crisis period of life, people feel insecurity about career, finances as well as companionship and this makes both partners irritable many times. If the factors like economic or domestic violence are present, the feelings get enhanced many fold.
It is sad to see couples who have spent many years together, through thick and thin, breaking up. In the culture I belong to, there is a lot of emphasis on supporting each other and getting through life together. I hope many couples follow that philosophy.
Thanks for discussing this important topic. Upvoted
Regards,

@vm2904

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Hello - I agree, it is very easy as the saying says to just "throw the towel in"
We forget to support one another first and foremost especially as you rightly say vm2904 when we hit the age milestones and mid life crisis and we start worry a lot about how and what we will do for the remainder of our lives on this planet.
As the world gets busier and the quality of time we spend with our loved one and families gets less and less we start mistaking our loved ones for being the problem and maybe start highlighting faults in one another which in reality is not the problem.
Career & Finances create many upsets and sometimes these worries are so absorbing we are unable to separate this and sadly some end relationships which they regret later.

I'm up voting you because I like your beliefs. I also write a lot about people and the importance of investing time in one another. I like to add Humour which is key in realtionships which after years together we forget.

https://steemit.com/travel/@sonic-sonny/behind-every-great-man-there-s-a-great-woman-let-s-celebrate-women-part-2-from-india

Being able to Sometimes laugh together at our behaviour is helpful. I would like to add however that I take the issues amiramnoam raises seriously and also for sharing this important and very real worries for too many families and children.

Thank you for taking time to share this post.
Sadly the way of our world today that more people leave the marriage because they believe the "grass is greener" something different !! - which normally when it's too late they find out it is not .
Sonic Sonny 💁🏻

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Yeah I think that happens a lot, also in my case...YES I think that is happening right now!Thanks for that great comment, following YOU! I am going through one too, and requesting SBD donations to cover my legal costs, would you be so kind as to donate some SBD to me? https://steemit.com/teamsouthafrica/@pjcswart/please-help-me-not-get-screwed-lol-in-my-divorce

an important topic.

family crisis ruined thousands of families..
money, violence - yes, but sometimes there are so great reasins but people divorce. Feelings have gone, life routine killed passion and love, a baby became not a happiness but a reason to quarrel.
By the way the 1st year after the baby's birth is the moooost complicated in the family.
I know so many families which can;t overcome this crisis.
A baby brings a new life order, new nees, new rules, no freedom, little time for romance and love, and just for sleep!
not all can be patient and wise not to divorce in this situation.

Do you know why divorce is so expensive?

Because it's worth it.

Well !! What the survey has found out might be true !!
People say don’t run after money when looking for a partner, only look for love! No matter how ethical it might seem but the truth is that sooner or later people do realise that the lack of money is creating mental disturbances in both the people.

No matter how much u love the other but life can’t go on without money !!

I do believe that divorce are bound to happen if you marry without seeing each other for a few years. And sometimes people just change and grow mature while their spouses do not. While there can be many reasons for a divorce I feel that the main reason is that people don’t actually understand what love is, and tie a bond only when they like someone a lot !!

D09F5428-DA88-4C04-A4C8-823663FFCC92.png

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you might be totally right!

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So true, they say money can't make you happy but neither can poverty! Following YOU! I am going through one too, and requesting SBD donations to cover my legal costs, would you be so kind as to donate some SBD to me? https://steemit.com/teamsouthafrica/@pjcswart/please-help-me-not-get-screwed-lol-in-my-divorce

From my many years experience working with individuals and couples, divorce happens when one spouse chooses to grow, as an individual, and the other is so afraid of the change their partner goes through, so much so that they inflict force and guilt upon them ("don't leave me", "how can you do this to us", I have no life without you "). This of course achieve the opposite result. The partner get verifications for their earlier need for growth and freedom and they are more determined to divorce. It's a very difficult situation. 😐 I occasionally write about it here, on my blog.

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interesting that you use the word 'grow'....implies that one partner has lifted themselves to another level and left the other behind, how would they achieve that? Would this be career related or financially based or something else completely?

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Spiritually. To be more precise, when one person is more connected with their inner self while the other isn't, they are on different levels, and that influences evening, including the physical chemistry between the two.

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thanks for explaining. Does this raise a question of whether someone might be better off by not growing spiritually? Don't change anything and live happily in ignorance? Unless your partner is able to grow with you. Or is this something that we can't choose?

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You are wise.
Growing is inevitable. But this is good news my friend. It will make you fulfilled and happy in the long run.

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yes, when I became a Christian, my spouse acted like I was telling him I hated him. it was sort of weird to me. Wouldn't it make sense that I would more than likely treat him much better than before? to him, no....he wanted me to drop the belief, which of course I could not do. Sad to say, after 30 some years, he is still holding his ground in that point.

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Right, your change took him out of his comfort zone and in a way threatened his existence! Yes, that's the way he saw it then.
The divorce rate are so high nowadays because some people change fast while their spouses choose not to. IMO, better to marry late when the people are more whole, more ready.

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Interesting dynamics, thanks for that! Following YOU! I am going through one too, and requesting SBD donations to cover my legal costs, would you be so kind as to donate some SBD to me? https://steemit.com/teamsouthafrica/@pjcswart/please-help-me-not-get-screwed-lol-in-my-divorce

Your articles are getting better and better everytime you make a new post.

All I know is divorce is an extremely real issue.

Marriage is not a fairy tale ending.

Just last year alone, I saw four of my friends get divorced.

Please, take your time and be extremely sure before you settle down!

אני חושש שהרבה ממה שקורה נובע מכך שהזוגיות מתמוססת לה עם השנים - השגרה והשחיקה מוכחים הגורמים להפחתת הריגוש מבן או בת הזוג ואנשים חושבים כמו שכתבת שבחוץ יש משהו חדש ומסעיר, וזה באמת נכון - מעצם זה שהקשרים הם חדשים, יש בהם משהו מסעיר - אבל יש לזכור שגם הקשרים החדשים יתיישנו די מהר. מה הפתרון?
לפעמים אין - הקשר כבר לא בר תיקון/ ההתאמה הראשונית היתה לקויה כבר.
בכל מקרה - זוגיות זה דבר שניתן לחזק ולעבוד עליו, אפשר ממש להקדיש זמן לדיבור אחד עם השני, לקבוע זמנים מוגדרים לחופשות זוגיות, לנסות דברים חדשים ביחד - כל דבר שיכול לחדש ולהעמיק את הקשר.
גם שינוי מחשבתי נדרש לפעמים - החיים ביחד הם לא תמיד מסעירים ומרגשים ודורשים לא מעט הקרבה - צריך לעשות שינוי לראיה של האחר כחשוב לכשעצמו ולהיות מוכנים לסבול בשבילו ולמרות למענו ללא כוונה לרווח עצמי. בעולם האינדיבידואליסטי שלנו זה קצת קשה.
אבל זה משתלם 😁

תודה, מחקר מעניין ומעורר מחשבה.

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בהחלט. כל אלה התסמינים מבחוץ. שנובעים מתהליך פנימי.
מציע לקרוא את התגובה שלי.
אנשים רוצים לצמוח, רוחנית, אישית, וכשהם לא יכולים לעשות את זה בתוך הקשר הזוגי הם מרגישים דחף חזק לעזוב. 😐

I have never heard the term "economic violence" before but I have seen cases of this abuse. A lot has changed in Korea since I first came here twenty years ago. Now I am beginning to see the roles of men and women becoming equal.

Very well written bro and iam agree with all the reasons that you mentioned here because in this society divorce is now become very common among the youth and they simply take a divorce and not even think once that what does that effect on their childrens and family,

In india in many Villages Child marriage is a very popular tradition and many girls got married in the age of 3-4 years without even knowing the true meaning of marriage and that is also one of the biggest reason for divorce in india.☹️☹️

Divorcing is what makes us humans.

For me it happens because of lack of respect and love with each other. After people get married for a long time they get bored with their partners and tend to find something enjoyable to do. Thats why cheating is their option. To give them new excitement and love they are looking for. I have many uncle's that got divorce because of mis understanding and lack of joy and love. I really hate people who cheat because their not only hurting their partners but also their sons and daughters. So i beg you steemians please dont cheat on your partner.. think of what might happen to your children.. thanks for this post sir to remind us that cheating is bad and not the best thing to do.

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Boredom can be a killer yes! Following YOU! I am going through one too, and requesting SBD donations to cover my legal costs, would you be so kind as to donate some SBD to me? https://steemit.com/teamsouthafrica/@pjcswart/please-help-me-not-get-screwed-lol-in-my-divorce

People divorce for a variety of reasons. One reason people divorce is because one or both change due to any number of things. People get educated, grow in jobs, discover new interests, "grow up" and find out what they really want out of life is different from what they wanted in their 20's and move on.

Being married is hard, you have to want to "be" married to stay in it. Actually liking the person you are married to is a good start.

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Yes many reasons indeed! Following YOU! I am going through one too, and requesting SBD donations to cover my legal costs, would you be so kind as to donate some SBD to me? https://steemit.com/teamsouthafrica/@pjcswart/please-help-me-not-get-screwed-lol-in-my-divorce

Well !! What the survey has found out might be true !!
But, IMO, True love and mutual understanding are enough to bond two people together forever.

The concluding part is a very correct, brother.

most people who get divorced are people who think there is something better outside than they know at home, something that was once out of the question today is common

They divorce that they think that situation of outside is better than inside.

Well, why you guys think that men needs to be highest economic machine in family? Yes this is primary expected from a man who should be Alfa in the family.
I still think that conversation and self education is the main point, specially after when they have families. You know you can not build an empire without great relationship. After that is problem money and cheating and other reasons.

Great post anyway!

Wow nice life

Thanks for sharing great post..upvoted resteem

Interesting to read! I think that it’s really hard to make any conclusions out of the worlds statistics. To have deeper analysis better to analyze per geaography, for example

Thanks for sharing great post
@amiramnoam

Most Importantly..divorce occours when parent fail to understand that marriage is nt a bed of roses..evry marriages has Issues and your ability deal with those issues is what makes your marriage grows

When there is mis understanding its better to leave

encouraging!

Do you really love me, or is it just acting like love? If that is the case, then I do not have any surveys in your life. It is very complicated that your performance will increase as much as possible. I will forgive you some day, but you can forgive me. You can not be able to forgive, so I'm acting in the name of love. Do not you. Are you acting today?

excellent article I consider this a guide for couples in conflict

excellant post & utifull writing @amiramnoam really Children do not like seeing their parents many, nor do they get divorced,!!thanks for shareing

upvoted resteem

Relationships are not easy, you have to permanently invest time and efforts to sustain the relationship. But if both partners do so, it is possible I think 😋

This is good information..
I'm amazed that domestic violence is not the major cause.
I mean why would you tolerate something like that

even if I do not attend a part of it.correct detection in general

I'll start with Excellent story. I have to agree with @kouba01. Kids today rush into getting married. They spend $1,000 on the wedding. And their lives change as they grow and mature . That thing called " life" gets real and they fail. Thank you for sharing

its a very beautifull human life post i really like it mem @amiramnoam

parence divorce due to the children life lose !! its very denjarus for evry crildren & her life

thanks again for alarting human post

RESTEEM

Every relationship will be a love affair or conflict that makes love unsteady. Similarly, marriage, couples will surely install the ups and downs of households. A growing problem with a dating partner. However, whatever the problem, try not to split up. Avoid saying divorce. Separation in marriage will cause great regret. Because, according to a study in Britain, 50% of couples who are divorced haunted feelings of regret.

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WOW that is a pretty amazing statistic! Following YOU! I am going through one too, and requesting SBD donations to cover my legal costs, would you be so kind as to donate some SBD to me? https://steemit.com/teamsouthafrica/@pjcswart/please-help-me-not-get-screwed-lol-in-my-divorce

I agree with your post..Resteemit done..

Like Your Post (Website Developer , Marketing Expert )

I would like to have more information about the study and its parameters i.e. socioeconomic, ethnic, and other demographic information etc. Perhaps a link to the data.

"Economically battered"? Holy victimization Batman. Wow. I am not saying the author made this up or casting aspersions in that direction. I am just saying I had not yet heard that victim phrase yet. "Yes judge, I have been economically battered. Please allow my divorce." "...And I told him, listen you bastard, if you are going to economically batter me I am going to call the cops on your ass! That got him to back off." Wow.

Some thoughts I posted on marriage several months ago: Thoughts On Marriage And Divorce

True to it domestic violence constitute a very high cause of divorce over here. In a place where there're are no clear laws on punishment for an abusive partner, the only reasonable solution is to walk away while you still have life to do so. I wish our law makers will bring in laws on punishment for abusive partners.

I agree with you This is a world problem, the only solution to remedy this, I think that women in many countries suffer more

Hey thanks for the post!

Where can i find the study?
Can you give me the link please?

Greetings Lars

Every woman that finally figured out her worth, has picked up her suitcases of pride and boarded a flight to freedom, which landed in the valley of change.

Yeah, a big reason is financial reasons but I would advocate not to get married as a guy nowadays, since courts tend to favor women when it comes to splitting assets after the divorce.

Other than the trust issue tight financial scenario creates a sense of hatred among the couples like you stated,

the economic pressures and arguments surrounding the expenses of the home and the children can indeed destroy the relationship. Couples who do not manage to "finish the month" and maintain the family properly, slowly create ongoing conflict and mutual accusations.

Solutions:

Don't panic the situation and try to find a way to come closer.
Don't mock each other
Don't lose hope and be polite in tough financial times
Try to make your bond more and more strong with your partner :)

Im not saying it is not possible to meet someone and marry them right away and live happily ever after...but a looooooot of people get married way too fast and easily... even worse some have kids from different marriages/relationships and just keep repeating the same mistakes.

I believe there are stages before marriage, living together first is a good indicator on what to expect in a marriage.

Chuildren life is very happy life
DQmRWDRa4jw5dhChzeQnWqPMAz7EP5yxPW2Y7q56Wj1DqJ6.gif

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You are right brother

excellant post & utifull writing @amiramnoam really Children do not like seeing their parents many, nor do they get divorced,!!thanks for shareing

I do believe that divorce are bound to happen if you marry without seeing each other for a few years. And sometimes people just change and grow mature while their spouses do not. While there can be many reasons for a divorce I feel that the main reason is that people don’t actually understand what love is, and tie a bond only when they like someone a lot !!

good post!! I invite you to comment and vote in my post, I follow you follow me too

good post!! I invite you to comment and vote in my post, I follow you follow me too
https://steemit.com/openmic/@misc.jocs/sin-ti-rawayana-cover-drum

I must appreciate your endeavour to enlighten us on this sensitive issue which is quite common nowadays. Marriage is an institution in itself and its strength or weakness can have grave consequences for the generations to come. In my opinion, the most important measure to be taken to strengthen this bond is a compromise from both partners for peace in life and upkeep of the next generation.

Interesting topic and analysis thanks for sharing, I agree with others that have commented that marriage is often hard work for both, but if both work at it there's a great chance for success. However, the instant gratification society that is all so common these days doesn't fit in with that at all

Congratulations @amiramnoam, this post is the fifth most rewarded post (based on pending payouts) in the last 12 hours written by a Superhero or Legend account holder (accounts hold greater than 100 Mega Vests). The total number of posts by Superhero and Legend account holders during this period was 47 and the total pending payments to posts in these categories was $3024.86. To see the full list of highest paid posts across all accounts categories, click here.

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@poramiramnoam muy interesante articulo digno de leer y muy nutritivo sobretodo para los que hemos pasado por la triste experiencia de un divorcio compartiré esta información con mis estudiantes si tu así mi lo permites @poramiramnoam

In my opinion there are many reasons for a couple to take the difficult decision to divorce, but it is even harder when they still love each other and must separate to achieve personal goals that together with their partner they do not dare or can not achieve. Many times those personal objectives have to do with the economic development of one of the two, when the other acts as an anchor that does not let take off and get ahead to his partner.

Interesting views on this topics.....I think many people separate for many different reasons.... I think each situation is unique....

Resources, references, what study are you talking about? Articles without references may well be invented. Sorry.

I think my divorce came because selfishness, lust, control of money, midlife crisis, kids, negative words, no commitment to the family, procrastination, cheating, physical abuse of children, know it all attitude, and last but not least Playboy magazine and all the garbage he learned even before we were married....and yes, I forgave him, but would not ever want to remarry him.

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Thanks yes makes sense! I am going through one too, and requesting SBD donations to cover my legal costs, would you be so kind as to donate some SBD to me? https://steemit.com/teamsouthafrica/@pjcswart/please-help-me-not-get-screwed-lol-in-my-divorce

Thanks for sharing great post..upvoted resteem

This became a major problem in modern societies. Beautiful analysis ! Thanks for your effort my friend !!

Too intimate at the beginning of marriage, make a partner is not ready if intimacy changed with the reef. This is the cause of divorce that often escapes attention.

The facts presented are quite interesting; its good to know that in practice most divorces are not mainly due to infidelity as we have been made to believe!

In this day and age we also chasing after things which then replace our families, which leads to neglect. If we learn to put our families first before anything else divorce should decrease. Time is the most valuable commodity in the world, use it wisely and you will reap great benefits.

Interesting post. What really saddens me, though, is to see that a thing as trivial as money has become so powerful in today's society that it is even able to break up a couple. In normal circumstances scarcity would bring two people even closer together in a struggle to pull through. But not today, today is so much easier to just give up and hope something better comes along.

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So True! Following YOU!

Vote and follow me

This is a heavy subject and so said its the children that suffer at the end. Domestic violence is an epidemic and needs to be controlled.
Great article.
I have written a song on demostic violence and will up vote it soon.

Question of the day: Why do people think being with someone is the answer to everything?

they get divorced for this, they forget that we are human and we make mistakes, they want as to be perfect thats it.

In my opinion divorces happen because of magazines like this. Or maybe just the cover. These magazines are teaching young women how to go after your man.
539f814525e15_-_cos-ashley-greene-cosmo-cover-lgn.jpg

They divorce because women nowadays don't have to be "serving" a man in order to survive.

And no, i am not a feminist, this is a fact. If a woman can have her own job, her own income, her own career, her own fandom, and can get half the man's money, why would she tolerate a miserable marriage?

The age of women tolerating abusive husbands is over. They can do without them now.

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If Islam takes over the west due to higher birthrates. Then it might reverse. I mean just compare the population growth between Greece and Turkey.

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There is also the possibility that the economic system might collapse internally because women don't have enough children because they are educated and there will be no one left to pay for the pensions.

It's a soft generation

Interesting article.

I'm the son of a divorced couple. The truth is, when the differences between the couple become irremediable, children pay not only for the consequences of suffering from arguments or abuse, but they don't enjoy their parents to the fullest because they are too busy solving their partner's problems and sometimes neglect their relationship with their children.

In my case, after opposing that divorce so much, when it became a reality I began to enjoy my parents in their fullness, my dad being who he really is and my mom too. We became friends and today the only thing I regret is that they have not been happy together, but I am happy with them.

Translated with www.DeepL.com/Translator

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Great Great Point! Following YOU! I am going through one too, and requesting SBD donations to cover my legal costs, would you be so kind as to donate some SBD to me? https://steemit.com/teamsouthafrica/@pjcswart/please-help-me-not-get-screwed-lol-in-my-divorce

like your post