Why do couples get divorced? A brief study of the causes of divorce.
Children do not like seeing their parents fighting, nor do they get divorced, but sometimes there is no choice.
The study examined about 400 cases of divorces
and examined the reasons for divorce.
What causes a divorce?
Maybe a betrayal or an extramarital affair?
the survey shows that this is not the case.
Only 11% -12% of the divorces did so for this reason.
A one-time lapse, in most cases, does not necessarily constitute a sufficient cause for the dissolution of the family unit.
Many of the betrayed spouses are prepared to forgive and avoid the heavy price of dismantling the family unit, which involves dealing with the financial and other implications.
sometimes the married couple realizes that they need to "work" on the relationship, which betrayal has been only a symptom.
Almost every third couple divorces due to financial difficulties.
There are serious allegations about concealment, the disappearance of funds, and even the emptying of the bill behind the back in bad faith, Such things happen because of the lack of transparency on the part of the party managing the money.
In addition, Couples who do not manage to "finish the month" and maintain the family properly, slowly create ongoing conflict and mutual accusations.
Sometimes, the feeling that the partner who does not good enough or there is someone else out there that can be better.
People do not settle for what they have
"economic violence":
in recent years there has been a greater awareness of women towards the economic violence of men. The most prominent feature of economic violence is the husband's total control over the management of the family unit's finances and being the only person making decisions related to the family's assets that pertain to the couple's shared rights and obligations.
In many cases, it turns out that many women who are "economically battered" are educated women and even those holding senior positions, but in their homes, they are submissive and left behind maybe because of the traditional system that the man is the breadwinner and the woman is at home with the children and cooks in the kitchen.
Domestic violence
Not many women break up a family unit because of violence, the opposite is true. The sad reality shows that a large proportion of the battered women, who even fled the house and moved to shelters for battered women, return to their spouses. In the end, and only a few of them, break down and decide to break up, The data on domestic violence in developing countries are still worrisome.
Personal crisis
This is a situation in which one of the spouses 'reveals himself' or feels that he has exhausted his relationship after several years of marriage. Such crises usually come in "round ages," like 40.50, who feel they do not exhaust life, that life is not what they expected. This is usually the result of significant life tasks that have ended, the exhaustion of a career and / or economic accumulation.
To conclude the survey, most people who get divorced are people who think there is something better outside than they know at home, something that was once out of the question today is common
What do you think?
source for information
Well done
But I think marriage should begin on a true basis, not just for love
Thanks for sharing this with us
I always advice if you will enter in a relationship, to put God always as center of it. Other's find it funny or non-sense but for me that is the secret of lasting relationship. Love fades in any aspect you see it. But with the help of the teachings and wisdom, it will make you realize that having partner is a gift from God that you have to take care of, and will make you hold whatever trials may come including financial. :)
totally agree
Great comment
So true, thanks for that. I am going throug one too, and requesting SBD donations to cover my legal costs.... https://steemit.com/teamsouthafrica/@pjcswart/please-help-me-not-get-screwed-lol-in-my-divorce
I think one of the most important factors is missing from this survey. 'Genuine Love', if two people love each other genuinely , none of the factors raised in this article would ever be a problem.
I agree with you; if there is true love, there will never be divorce! Its sad that the current iteration of love in our generation is quite shallow and has no foundation in the essence of true love!
I just separated from my partner of 28 years and it was a longtime coming like 10 years.. we both spoke Yesterday and tried to work out what went wrong in our relationship and we came to the same conclusion that we had just drifted apart more and more each year and now do not have anything in common things I like to do she does not and things she likes I do not anything so we fell out of love along time ago but never wanted to address the issue really until a we had a massive fallout 2 weeks ago and both decided we are better off going our own ways.. it hurt a lot for the first 3 days and still does.. but we still talk and life goes on, time will heal both of us..
So true, thanks for that great comment, following YOU! I am going through one too, and requesting SBD donations to cover my legal costs, would you be so kind as to donate some SBD to me? https://steemit.com/teamsouthafrica/@pjcswart/please-help-me-not-get-screwed-lol-in-my-divorce
not always
Sorry, dizzy, but love can be a feeling and don't we all think we are "in love" when we marry? Maybe not. Maybe we just want someone to love us and when it doesn't happen, then we stop loving our spouse. I do hope though if you have never been married, that you will consider your spouse first, but don't be a whimp and let him/her walk all over you. Once that happens, you might as well have married your worse enemy.
Wise words! True love can solve every problem in the world..
@amiramnoam - I believe that at around the mid-life crisis period of life, people feel insecurity about career, finances as well as companionship and this makes both partners irritable many times. If the factors like economic or domestic violence are present, the feelings get enhanced many fold.
It is sad to see couples who have spent many years together, through thick and thin, breaking up. In the culture I belong to, there is a lot of emphasis on supporting each other and getting through life together. I hope many couples follow that philosophy.
Thanks for discussing this important topic. Upvoted
Regards,
@vm2904
Hello - I agree, it is very easy as the saying says to just "throw the towel in"
We forget to support one another first and foremost especially as you rightly say vm2904 when we hit the age milestones and mid life crisis and we start worry a lot about how and what we will do for the remainder of our lives on this planet.
As the world gets busier and the quality of time we spend with our loved one and families gets less and less we start mistaking our loved ones for being the problem and maybe start highlighting faults in one another which in reality is not the problem.
Career & Finances create many upsets and sometimes these worries are so absorbing we are unable to separate this and sadly some end relationships which they regret later.
I'm up voting you because I like your beliefs. I also write a lot about people and the importance of investing time in one another. I like to add Humour which is key in realtionships which after years together we forget.
https://steemit.com/travel/@sonic-sonny/behind-every-great-man-there-s-a-great-woman-let-s-celebrate-women-part-2-from-india
Being able to Sometimes laugh together at our behaviour is helpful. I would like to add however that I take the issues amiramnoam raises seriously and also for sharing this important and very real worries for too many families and children.
Thank you for taking time to share this post.
Sadly the way of our world today that more people leave the marriage because they believe the "grass is greener" something different !! - which normally when it's too late they find out it is not .
Sonic Sonny 💁🏻
Yeah I think that happens a lot, also in my case...YES I think that is happening right now!Thanks for that great comment, following YOU! I am going through one too, and requesting SBD donations to cover my legal costs, would you be so kind as to donate some SBD to me? https://steemit.com/teamsouthafrica/@pjcswart/please-help-me-not-get-screwed-lol-in-my-divorce
an important topic.
family crisis ruined thousands of families..
money, violence - yes, but sometimes there are so great reasins but people divorce. Feelings have gone, life routine killed passion and love, a baby became not a happiness but a reason to quarrel.
By the way the 1st year after the baby's birth is the moooost complicated in the family.
I know so many families which can;t overcome this crisis.
A baby brings a new life order, new nees, new rules, no freedom, little time for romance and love, and just for sleep!
not all can be patient and wise not to divorce in this situation.
Do you know why divorce is so expensive?
Because it's worth it.
Well !! What the survey has found out might be true !!
People say don’t run after money when looking for a partner, only look for love! No matter how ethical it might seem but the truth is that sooner or later people do realise that the lack of money is creating mental disturbances in both the people.
No matter how much u love the other but life can’t go on without money !!
I do believe that divorce are bound to happen if you marry without seeing each other for a few years. And sometimes people just change and grow mature while their spouses do not. While there can be many reasons for a divorce I feel that the main reason is that people don’t actually understand what love is, and tie a bond only when they like someone a lot !!
you might be totally right!
So true, they say money can't make you happy but neither can poverty! Following YOU! I am going through one too, and requesting SBD donations to cover my legal costs, would you be so kind as to donate some SBD to me? https://steemit.com/teamsouthafrica/@pjcswart/please-help-me-not-get-screwed-lol-in-my-divorce
From my many years experience working with individuals and couples, divorce happens when one spouse chooses to grow, as an individual, and the other is so afraid of the change their partner goes through, so much so that they inflict force and guilt upon them ("don't leave me", "how can you do this to us", I have no life without you "). This of course achieve the opposite result. The partner get verifications for their earlier need for growth and freedom and they are more determined to divorce. It's a very difficult situation. 😐 I occasionally write about it here, on my blog.
interesting that you use the word 'grow'....implies that one partner has lifted themselves to another level and left the other behind, how would they achieve that? Would this be career related or financially based or something else completely?
Spiritually. To be more precise, when one person is more connected with their inner self while the other isn't, they are on different levels, and that influences evening, including the physical chemistry between the two.
thanks for explaining. Does this raise a question of whether someone might be better off by not growing spiritually? Don't change anything and live happily in ignorance? Unless your partner is able to grow with you. Or is this something that we can't choose?
You are wise.
Growing is inevitable. But this is good news my friend. It will make you fulfilled and happy in the long run.
yes, when I became a Christian, my spouse acted like I was telling him I hated him. it was sort of weird to me. Wouldn't it make sense that I would more than likely treat him much better than before? to him, no....he wanted me to drop the belief, which of course I could not do. Sad to say, after 30 some years, he is still holding his ground in that point.
Right, your change took him out of his comfort zone and in a way threatened his existence! Yes, that's the way he saw it then.
The divorce rate are so high nowadays because some people change fast while their spouses choose not to. IMO, better to marry late when the people are more whole, more ready.
Interesting dynamics, thanks for that! Following YOU! I am going through one too, and requesting SBD donations to cover my legal costs, would you be so kind as to donate some SBD to me? https://steemit.com/teamsouthafrica/@pjcswart/please-help-me-not-get-screwed-lol-in-my-divorce
Your articles are getting better and better everytime you make a new post.