Breaking The Silence - An Autism Journey - Part 1

in #blog4 years ago (edited)

Autism is a condition, not a disease. Most don't care. Most others treat people with Autism like shit, like it's the cooties— hey, just being honest. It's rarely overt. Often it's subtle. And always, it's painful.


Last month I introduced Steemit to my daughter Kiki. She goes live on Facebook and Twitter through my mobile app quite often. She sings songs that she makes up herself. She dances and greets her friends that are watching her streaming. Then birthday parties roll around, and she doesn't get invited. Such is Autism.

This is all just a preface...

The above photo is of my son Joseph. He's a baby here. This photo was taken after I rushed him to the hospital after having several long seizures. He never had a seizure before. At this time, he wasn't diagnosed with Autism. Before this photo was taken, everything was normal.


These seizures were not the first though. They happened once a week for about a month. I was confused and the doctors got him referred to Children's Hospital neurology to test if he was epileptic. Back and forth from the hospital, I wondered if something more was going on each time. They never spoke to me. There was never results. Just more tests.

After a while, he would just sleep. I hate to use the term, but the word in America (as insulting as it is) is vegetable... he was in and out of consciousness for weeks.


He started developing rashes all over his body. He got a fever. The doctors said he had HFM (which is a virus) but later we found out— after symptoms persisted, he had contracted a virus in the family of scarlet fever. My family thought maybe this was related to the MMR vaccine, but Joseph didn't get his vaccine. There was too much going on for me to have him inoculated in addition to all the other issues we were dealing with. Sometimes I wonder if we had gotten him the vaccine if he would have never contracted this virus.



Joseph recovered fully after this. And it was a relief. However, the doctors never really told me what happened. The approach was more, "It's over now so don't worry about it." His seizures stopped. And after a year, I almost forgot about the ordeal.


Joseph hit his milestones. He started walking and talking normally. But then just before he turned 3, I noticed something wasn't quite right. Joseph would experience spells where he would forget. He would space out. He became clumsy sometimes. It would only last for a few moments at first. Then those moments got longer and longer.He couldn't control his hands anymore for moments at a time. And he would sink into his own world and seem confused. It was if his brain was unwiring.

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He was still a happy kid most of the time. In between these episodes, he was seemingly normal. I scheduled another appointment with his doctor to report these anomalies. "Are the seizures going to come back?" "Does he have a brain tumor?" I needed answers. But the doctors did test after test again and didn't have any answers.

Joseph started losing his words. He stopped speaking as much or answering in shorter and shorter phrases. Prior to this, I was using a program called Your Baby Can Read to help teach him words. And while he could still read words, he stopped being able to use them productively. Eye contact reduced. And he started doing strange things like walk in circles, rub himself on walls, avoiding touch, and flapping his arms.

He was still a happy kid. But by this point, I had developed severe anxiety. Accident proneness became regular. And I had to use a large playpen to keep him safe. The playpen was really a play-gate that navigated through the whole house. The gate was so big that there was more house inside of it than outside of it.

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The doctor had set us up with an appointment at Mass General Hospital. After a slew of tests, Joseph was diagnosed with Autism.

"What is Autism?" I never heard about it before then. "Can he die from it?" "No" they said. But he would have a different life than I thought. And I didn't know what they meant at the time.

Time passed. I learned more about Autism. I had a daughter. And Joseph was in Early Intervention. I had quit my job. I had quit Music. I gave up my Record Deal. And I took all my savings and music money, and lived off it. I cashed out of Crypto. I shut down my shops. All I wanted to do was focus on Joseph and my daughter.

Taking care of an Autistic child in Early Intervention is quite extensive. I spent 40 hours a week in and out of various therapies with him. It was a full-time job. In between, I learned to code websites and my only income was working installing Wordpress. I found clients by word of mouth, and cold emailing every day.


The stress was too much on our family and I found myself single again. Still, my commitment was making sure that my kids have as normal a life as possible— as loving a love as possible.

Over a year past and once again our life was resembling some sense of being under control. Joseph said Mommy for the first time. And he was making great progress learning to speak— more on that in part 2.


Joseph had a spasm while eating and accidentally stabbed himself in the eyeball with a baby fork. He had surgery that day, and it exhausted all of my savings. We were lucky that Joseph didn't hurt his lens, but he fully lacerated his entire eyeball across. Gratefully, the wonderful doctors at Mass Eye and Ear Infirmary saved his eye.


He spent almost a year as Pirate with an eye patch. We lost our place. Depression set it. I stopped being able to do so much. I'd lived almost 5 years off everything I'd earned for my entire adulthood.

Thanks to my friends and family, Joseph got his first pair of glasses.


It's a deeply humbling experience to be on top of the world, completing college and making money, thinking you'll have a family and live happily every after... thinking you'll be a rockstar in so many ways, touring the world with big names.

Then your dream ends. Or rather, it changes.

For this was just the beginning of my journey with Autism. My son, the first of 3 diagnosed on the Autism Spectrum. My daughter, the second. But I'll leave that and more for later...


While many have watched our Journey on Facebook over the years— side by side, it can seem at times incredibly tragic. But despite all of this, it's also been deeply rewarding. In fact, Autism diagnoses saved me from a life of delusion and fantasy— a fast life that would have likely resulted in my early undoing. Live fast, die faster.

My kids are my angels. All THREE of them. Yes, I have three kids— my eldest (from my first marriage) is 23 now. He had a different mom (the old me) than my younger two.

Autism as a journey has been one of transformation— while challenging, for the better. It's not something kids are just born with that comes with preparation and a nurse telling you beforehand what to expect. You don't know until things start going wrong for the worst. And you have to adapt really fast to the changes in your life and lifestyle or things could go in the wrong direction fast. Luckily for us, we have gotten this far.

Before I end this part one, I just want to say that this doesn't have an unhappy ending. Oh, on the contrary. No worries. Joseph has grown to be a fine young man, with a bright future. He's integrated in school. He's at the top of his class. And he's Mensa! He wants to be an astro-physicist! Can you believe that?

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In later blogs, I'll be talking more about our journey and stories but also about the cutting edge work we've done, studies, and treatments we're using as a family to not only thrive with Autism but excel.

I now believe Autism, no matter how severe, is not a curse but a blessing in disguise. I no longer believe in curing Autism but accepting it and bringing it forward into the world as a variety of new people with unique (and often hidden) gifts.

Thank you for reading. Until next time!

If you want to follow our story, you can follow me on Steemit. We would love it if you Resteem or share this post for exposure as we raise awareness about Autism this April. April is Autism Awareness month.

Keep loving, and as Joseph says, "Keep Gaming!"

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You got a 83.09% upvote from @minnowvotes courtesy of @yallapapi!

You are such a strong determined mama! I can't imagine how hard and scary your journey must have been and you seem to have glided through it with the utmost grace! Sending all my love to you and your gorgeous family! ❤️❤️❤️

Thank you @iamjamie ♥️ Love goes a long way. Some days were harder than others but overall love is constantly a healing force— you just don't really notice— you just go, ya know? Thank you for your support and kind words. Miss ya posting!

LOL strong and determined mammal :D

yes her story has touched me, I was sad when I heard the baby was having problems and happy to see him doing better but sad again to see his accidental fork in the eye, I'm amazed the doctors saved his eye and that the human eye lens is so strong! Human body is so nice I just want medical science to find answers and treatment for autism and I want human society to integrate people with disabilities better, and we do this through social media!

Very happy to see his eye got better tho , I have tourettes and I'm always getting flashes of terrible things happening and I'm always afraid of losing my vision or teeth or accidentally stabbing myself in the eye lol maybe I should get some safety goggles, I want a force field for babies , I want ways for medical science to regrow limbs and give people with learning diabilities some cognitive upgrades I just want all humans to get to experience the wonders of language and art and literature and music and appreciate it,

It appears I'm late to the party- so I'm adding a comment here and upvoting for visibility. I want to thank EVERYONE for sharing this post with me and it's been incredibly validating and supportive of everyone to encourage me to write and to share this experience with me. Thank you to Curie for the award and everyone who participated. I'm deeply honored. And thank you to everyone who is helping me learn to write better and become part of the community here. You're appreciated. I hope to be able to respond to every comment and upvote although my power is low here today. Doing my best. I'm thankful to my followers and my readers for this opportunity to tell my story and share my insights. Please consider delegating to @curie to support their efforts. They are doing a lot to help new users get discovered. Thanks again.

Thank you for writing this (from someone on the spectrum)

Thank you for your comment @run-the-bits :)

Have you met @jazzyfish?

really great post and what an incredible story! it's great to ready your story about your son with autism...most of us only know what we have seen in movies or tv shows.

Thank you for reading my blog. And I appreciate your honest feedback. You are right that what most people know about Autism is learned in television and the media. Most don't realize our children are born seemingly healthy, then start falling apart neurologically at a very young age. This is incredibly frightening and frustrating for the children as well. The good news, however, is they are in there— and what I mean by that is; despite their differences— they are fully aware on the inside. I'll be writing more on that in part 2. Thank you so much for your attention and time, and for your comment @natureofbeing.

I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for being one of the greatest mothers in the world! Wish you more strength and power to support your kids and make them a better person like yourself @omitaylor. This story motivated me to become a tough person and it moved my heart at the same time. Your kids are so beautiful and charming I must say. Very cute. Haha!

Love and blessings,

AWESOME post, mama - you are an amazing person. What a special journey you have! Grateful for your courage in opening yourself and sharing. The curation you have attracted is totally expected :) and well deserved! :)

Thank you so much ♥️ @artemislives. I am very excited about growing here in Steemit. Thanks to you as well and everyone supporting me taking some root here. I'm still shaky and trying to find my footing. But hopefully in time I will be rocking and socking like the rest of everyone else :)

You are doing wonderfully well! :) Supporting you is easy..... :)

This was a powerful and deeply moving post. I have tears in my eyes as I write this. Being a guitarist, musician, and recording engineer for 3 decades I can relate to the dream of making a living off of your creativity and passion. What you have had to deal with, and the way you have dealt with it should get you a 10 Star Mom's award! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️. You have persevered and found the "Gift" in all of this. Not everyone could do that without completely losing it. I feel in my heart that you were chosen for this, as we all have Soul contracts, but the way that you have handled it is an INspiration for everyone. I believe that children with autism have special gifts beyond those of "normal" children, and all of these labels are nothing more than labels made up by a judgemental society. Compassion is my "go to" tool for anything I catch myself judging in myself or others. Sending you and your family much love and waves of blessings. 🙏 <3 PS. I don't have much steam right now as I just paid back Keni for helping me through the verification process, however as I build it up, you would be one of the first persons that I would want to support.

Thanks for the thoughtful and lengthy comment @sourceoftruth. I'm still learning how to blog to strangers and I have stranger anxiety— ha ha ha. Facebook is so different. I have hundreds of people who already know me, friends and family that comfort my posting anxiety with rapid validation. Haha...

Blogging is a whole other experience. I'm a shaking mess posting this! Ha. I'm so glad I did though. I'm starting to feel that this may be therapeutic for me in some ways.

And thanks for your words on soul contracts. Indeed, my children were incarnated into my life as my life partners. I'm so excited for the opportunity this challenge brings me, although at times I question my competence.

In the words of Buzz Lightyear, "To infinity and beyond!"

Awesome content!!! (Mind blowing) delegation 😁

Wow strong lady. I dont even know what to say....

So well brought, so passionate, I can only bow the head and be humble on what you wrote.

You are a true addition to steemit. All is and will be well

I resteemed it for more autism awareness

Thank you for reading, for resteeming and for your encouragement @karinxxl. I'm still not used to this hahaha. I'm not even getting a hang of it yet. But all the inspiration and encouragement from you and others is helping me. The technical part is my hiding place- you know. I can write all about what I think about Steemit. But then when it's time to get a little self-exposing, I can't tell if it's butterflies or an oncoming panic attack. HA HA. Thank you for supporting me. <3

Yeah I can imagine. That is a totally different game there putting yourself in the spotlight with your feelings. One that is high valued, but is also one that is scary to put out there.

Regardless, you forefilled it really good and all of a sudden the votes are rolling in ;)

I really hope steemit can provide you some financial slack in your journey!

Keep gaming! Look at lil Joseph in that last picture, awesome smile. Really looking forward to your part 2 Omi.

Thanks for sharing you story and being so brave. Everything you’ve been through as a family, together your bond must be so strong and that’s all down to your incredible love and commitment.

I really appreciate that you shared this story for others to learn about autism. I have to agree it ain’t about that fast life anyway, nothing is greater than family life.


I was so nervous writing my hands were shaking lol. But he's almost 9 now and himself is speaking on Autism more and more. He's a great inspiration. Many say I'm a strong mom, but I don't know how true that is. He is strong and he's my role model in that respect. Kids are very resilient. And while his Autism may be the catalyst for many of his challenges, it's also been the very thing to help him (and all of us) overcome them and more. So no regrets.

I appreciate your thoughtful comment and ongoing support. It's mutual, our family to yours as well. <3

They say what don’t break us make us right? He’s a lil superhero in my eyes and already found his voice to raise awareness is amazing. These young masters never cease to amaze me, so many coming through these days I’m in awe. Anyway he also learn some from his mom, so no matter if you see it or not, the world sees you and you are strong!

Congrats on that and you’re right, sharing is cathartic for you too. You guys story has power and I’m 100% sure will help others if they are experiencing the same.

Much love ❤️💯

Ok, two things... that was an awesome write up, I'm not only impressed I'm feeling pretty inspired right now...

And secondly and possibly more important.. check your wallet... <3

Are you serious?! Ginabot just notified me and I almost choked. <3

find me on discord.. i wanna show you something

I'm up to chapter 5 and I've gotten a bit lost once they returned to the initial context— or maybe I was just sleepy. Great suggestion. Enjoying it!

such a great awareness post! i submitted this to Curie and i hope it gets the exposure it deserves! :)

Omg. Wow, thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ♥️

You certainly are a strong and wonderful mama! I loved how direct and honest you were with this post. Looking forward to hearing the rest of your journey with autism. Your family has been through so much - so happy to hear that things are leveling out.

You mentioned not getting MMR, but did Joseph have the dtap? Just curious due to the experience we had with that particular vaccine...rash and 106 temps.

well, looks like you already got all the praise you deserved, so i don't think i have anything to add there . I have no projects, i'm not saving the world and i dont carry steemit all by myself like i own the place but real content isn't always easy to find. It usually works best when straight from the heart. Autism is more like a collection of conditions i suppose since not many autistic people are actually the same. Some even managed to try to label me as an autist a few times because i can simply be stubborn.
The least i can do is resteem and i'll vote when i'm back at 100 in an hour. I'm a steemit-bum so i'm aftraid there's nothing to delegate. Good luck !!!

me :

Lol. Seems like you have a fun sense of humor. :)

I'm going to write at some point about the latest genetic research on Autism. It's becoming less and less understood as a cluster of conditions. Unfortunately, doctors are very busy— often too busy to learn the latest research. And that continues to lead to misdiagnosis, undiagnosed persons, etc. That makes research difficult and often leads to patterns being less observable. Most genuinely Autistic persons have similarities. They're just not always visible similarities. Most people can't see chromosomes with the naked eye ;) or carry around MRI machines in their truck.

From day one with my kids, I've been involved in quite a few elaborate studies on the subject of the heritability of Autism. More on that later though.

Thanks for resteeming ♥️

ofcourse, its never a good idea to pressure yourself on your own drive. That doesn't need pressure anyway. I'm glad you see my sense of humour. I'm often mistaken for the sarcasticat i became and lots of people seem to think my vitriolic sarcasm is actually a personal attack.
I prefer to think its them who have issues with themselves because i usually say things in general as a reaction to the absolute absurdity of the situation. I tend to believe both are separate too. Bare sense of humour is something you are born with, on a genetic level if you please (at the risk of getting into metaphysics, i mean -genetics) highly dependent on who you are at your core, while something like sarcasm is a phenomenon that takes root and develops as you slowly get battered by experience and environment. I agree doctors will generalize all too fast, not all 'men' are created equal after all, whoever wrote that had wild imagination lol. Most non autistic people have similarities too btw ;) i dont know enough about it (as i just somewhere else on something completely different too) so i wont pretend im not guessing, unlike the wise scientist who believes a statistic is actually proof, not potential.
Even if there is a certain amount of correlation it doesnt mean that all autists should be treated the same in a one size fits all manual, they're still brains trapped in a body so they will have a self that requires details.
Who knows, SpaceX just promised they'll be on mars in ten years ... if thats possible, other areas might spike too. Best of luck, im looking forward to more, i'll try to keep an eye but its a big place inhere isnt it :)

Thanks for sharing Joseph's story - and so glad that you and he both came out of some struggling times with eyeballs and everything else intact!

This post was nominated by a @curie curator to be featured in an upcoming Author Showcase post on the @curie blog. If you agree to be featured in this way, please reply and:

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Hey @carlgnash!

I would love to be and it would be an honor, truly. I'm really sorry I didn't see your comment sooner. I hope I didn't miss the opportunity and I just responded to your discord message.

Yes, you have my permission to quote, cite, or feature images from this work- perpetually, worldwide, indefinitely. I hearby grant @curie or any of its subsidiaries or curators a master use license for republishing on the Steam Blockchain, in any language. That should cover it.

Also, I don't really have anything to add about myself. Although I've written a few about me's, I'm not sure what kind of statement would suffice. You could add perhaps that I'm a former musician who's been featured on and HipHop DX, now a single stay at home mother of 2 kids with special needs. I'm learning to use my song writing talent in other ways— such as through blogging.

Great Post!

for your awesomeness've been upvoted & resteemed by

: : fREeSTEEM : :

a free resteemer

What an uplifting story! Although my personal experience is likely to have a lot less stress, we share the experience of single parenting. Mine started when my daughter was just past her first birthday. She is now a grown women yet the feeling about the experience was simular.

It was a 180 degree turn in my life, as well. A turn for the better. ;)

So glad things have begun to level out for you.

Nice end to a quite sad story! I also had seizures a couple of times, but I did not have epilepsy the doctors said... Anyway that was years ago, hope I never get one again...

Jesus Christ, that was heartwarming.

Wow ,what an amazing journey you both have been on .
Thanks for sharing an increadable heartfelt piece of writing

Very beautiful story! Family id everything and us women have to be strong

Family is indeed my everything. I'm not sure if I'm strong but my kids sure are. Thank you for the compliment and support. ♥️

We human we should believe in the inherent worth and dignity of man. We are unique we have different status and situation in life we have no right to judge people we should open our arms and heart to accept once differences. We must appreciate and understand people who have autism they too don't want this kind of situation that's why we must and we should embrace. I appreciate mother who are strong and take care of there children giving time always.

Thank you for your inspiring words and encouragement. @che-nie it's true, but sadly not common. But I believe with education people will understand that people with Autism are not broken or difficult. Different doesn't automatically mean wrong. It comes with hardship but also so much blessing, believe me. Thank you for your words, they're deeply appreciated.

I'm so glad this story had a happy ending. God bless you and your family.

Thank you @rahul.stan and I appreciate you stopping by and checking out my blog. ♥️♥️😍♥️♥️

Reply to this comment if you want me to resteem your last blog post to my 32,500+ followers. Then whenever you make a new blog post that you want me to resteem go to my Comments and reply to any of my comments on other steemians blog posts. Please upvote my comment after I resteem your blog post. @a-0-0

Autism is not a curse neither a blessing. It's just a way of being. It doesn't need any treatments, it just needs time, love and understanding. And non-autistic people can't help no matter how well informed they are. You see now, that years have passed, that time, love and undrrstanding helped Joseph and yourself to acceptance of autism.

Autism is not a curse neither a blessing. It's just a way of being. It doesn't need any treatments, it just needs time, love and understanding. And non-autistic people can't help no matter how well informed they are. You see now, that years have passed, that time, love and undrrstanding helped Joseph and yourself to acceptance of autism.

As a fellow mom, my heart breaks for the fear that surely gripped yours before you had a diagnosis. I can only begin to imagine what you went through.

However, it sounds like the struggle has truly transformed you, and your life, for the better. Sometimes it takes a few rocks at the bottom to shape us into who we are supposed to be.

Joseph is beautiful. It looks like he has a smile that would brighten any room. And mensa? Astro-physicist? That is freaking amazing. Shooting for the stars, literally. And with a mom as strong as you seem to be, I have no doubt he'll make it with those genes! 🤗

I have a few friends that have children with autism to varying degrees and am happy to help raise awareness in any way I can for these beautiful and bright souls. My upvote has the impact of an amoeba right now, but I've resteemed and shared on Twitter as well.

Keep on bein' amazing! Your kids are lucky to have you. 😎

Wow, thank you @ambrosial for the resteem and tweet. I feel you on the upvotes, if it were not for getting a delegation contest win this week; mine is the same— moot. I just wanted to share the experience with others and maybe some people can reap some hope and inspiration to tell their stories.

This also speaks to those parents who have children with special needs who are still non-verbal, handicapped, have low test scores, and behavioral frustrations. Our original assessments didn't look encouraging. I'll always accept him as is, period— still, we didn't believe that he couldn't do whatever they said he might not be able to do. Most days I was a wreck. Still am. But he'll be 9. And it's worth it. He's worth it.♥️

You're very welcome. They need a voice like yours. One thing I learned really quick from being around a couple kids on the spectrum is that they are seriously misunderstood. People have an unfortunate tendency to fear the unknown and pass quick judgment. Hell, even children without autism or Asperger's have different learning styles and ways they excel. They can't be all lumped in together with a single approach to learning and growing.

In my (limited) experience, the key with any of them is to just figure out how to reach them. Once that is accomplished, it is amazing to see them break out of their shells and succeed where it was thought they could not. I've seen it happen time and again, even in the ones who are non-verbal or have the behavioral issues. Besides, doctors don't know everything; all they can do is give their best guess. And it is so awesome to see them proven wrong in these situations! 😊

By the way, you have been scouted by @promo-mentors. We are always on the look-out for promising authors.

I would like to invite you to our discord group where we are a community that fosters camaraderie and help authors improve their blogging skills where we have mentors that conduct post feedback sessions and other things.

If you have time, do check us out!

When you are there send me a message if you get lost! (My Discord name is the same as the one here)

I will visit soon @andywong31 and thank you so much for the submission to Curie. I got upvoted.

We need to understand the beauty of the Spectrum!
April 2 was a day for Autism Awareness but I don't feel it got the publicity it deserves.

The Stigmatism of the Spectrum must stop. It must be understood.
Joseph is perfect epitome of the beauty of the condition, he is different but he is uniqueIMG-20180401-WA0029.jpg

But I believe that with this post we can utilize the Whole month of April and create a noticable and impacting awareness.

Until we all understand!
Keep Gaming

I wish I could have posted this on the 2nd but I was too busy with my kid's school festivities. Here where I live we use the entire month for outreach activities. Thank you for your kind comments and acceptance.

Nice inspirational post
Most people may get this condition as well but it gets really hard for them to tell how to manage it. Using your guide in your post, one can be able to easily have a recap of the condition and be able to manage it effectively

Thank you so much @samarlykristen I really appreciate your thoughts and words.

What you are doing is great!

There needs to be more research into how to help those affected by this condition.

You are a true example of "women empowerment", Taylor. Thank you for being a role model for many of us, and for being a strong source of inspiration to persevere, for your kids as well as for all of your readers! Resteemed it, hope many of my followers upvote you at 100% and resteem this as well!
Stay strong! All the best for you and your kids' future. :)

Thank you so much for your encouragement @yesaye and thank you for the resteem as well. I really appreciate you coming by my blog and leaving your thoughts. We are doing well and thank you again.

Hmmm! This is really amazing! God has a way of doing this for His own glory glory at last. I learnt a lots of lesson from your story. One of the lessons I learn is that a challenge in life is never an obstacle but a steeping stone to success when boldly faced. God has a way of glorifying Himself in situations that that is beyond human understanding. Never give up on Him he is always there to see you through.

Informative and necessary. Thank you for sharing

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Thank you so much @gaman ♥️

Congratulations on your @curie review.

Is this an automatically generated message @transparencybot? You should consider whitelisting @tipu and other bots that share their votes with steem power delegators. You would also do well to consider when a post has been chosen by @Curie, helpie, and other such manual curation groups— such as this post. Lastly, it might be thoughtful to consider charitable posts and similar types of posts for manual review for your notice. Essentially, your service is also a bot (or bot-like) and insensitively giving a negative impression of those who use automation. Which is interesting, considering your doing so via some kind of automation. Lastly, I'm not personally opposed to using bid-bots. I'm only opposed to mis-using bid bots. In this case, I have actually returned 92 cents where 28 cents benefits curators. I like to benefit those who choose to curate my content— as it's generally considered good content by most of the manual curation services.

I hope a human reads my feedback.

Thank you for the reply.

The bot is just getting started and does have a lot of learning to do. I would agree there certainly is no apparent abuse in your post. The bots listed in the comments are simply those found on steembottracker. I am going to try to refine this bot and give it more intelligence as feedback is received.


Hi @bycoleman, maybe you could have the bot look at the rshares given by the bidbots. A post that breaks $50 but only had a tiny $ amount of bot votes like this one is obviously quite a lot different than one which received all the payout from bots.

Carl, great to hear from you.

When the bot first started, it looked at the total payout (of at least $50.00) and then looked to see if it used bidbots and if so, created the comment.

This was changed a few hours after the bot started.

Only post having bidbot payouts in excess of $50.00 are commented on. Unfortunately, there is always a little tweaking and learning to do on a project like this.

Good to hear! I should add that I 100% support this initiative of yours and can only say I wish it wasn't necessary. Cheers - Carl

Thank you!! That means a lot coming from you.

Man, you said it, I truly wish it was not necessary.

The bot is coming under some pretty concentrated attacks now and it will probably get worse each day.

♥️Thank you for your review of my feedback.

It could be as simple as excluding posts that have a vote by @curie.

Another consideration I forgot to mention is payout calculation. For instance, I had to correct my post because I returned 92 cents (27 of which goes to curators.) However, I spent less than I returned (obviously, as there was profit.) Interestingly enough, I believe I spent bidding the same amount that benefits the curators from the return— or that's the goal. Thus basically transferring my bid to additional curation rewards. If the total calculation of bids (not payout) is less than the curation reward payout, and the value of real votes exceeds the bot payout by 80%, it's less likely to be some kind of foul play.

In other words, high paying posts that get real votes from real people and whose bot use is negligible, where the actual payout after curation rewards is exceedingly more than they spent on the actual bids- are probably fine.

If you notice, most of the trending page abuse is dolphins and above. Hitting minnows who are just learning is very discouraging. I have pretty tough skin but I'm sure you don't want your bot to be counterproductive and scare away new users who are creating worthwhile content that gets genuinely rewarded.

It may also be worthwhile to consider the average payout of the last 10 posts. Usually, hardcore users consistently raise all of their posts to $100 or more. Those who are peer rewarded generally have a 1 or 2 high paying posts out of 10, the rest are getting $1-$10.

Just offering some ideas (take or leave) and thanks again for the congrats. ♥️

@bycoleman @transparencybot

Thank you again for your reply, you are making very valid arguments.

Keep in mind, the mission for transparency bot is to provide transparency to the network, not make judgements. As soon as I start judging who's post is worthy, it looses all value.

I am going to look into many of the things you have mentioned as they have merit.

Please see this list of abusers, and you will know why this bot is in action.


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This post has received a 24.39% upvote from @msp-bidbot thanks to: @omitaylor. Delegate SP to this public bot and get paid daily: 50SP, 100SP, 250SP, 500SP, 1000SP, 5000SP Don't delegate so much that you have less than 50SP left on your account.

Woah. I really can't express how I feel after reading your story, it's overwhelming. I admire you SO much, you're such a strong woman and I know your children must adore you. You've struggled and endured so much, but that has made you a strong and wise person, and that's what you transmit to your children.

Your message about autism is so important, it is extremely relevant people read stories like these and educate themselves.

I'm glad you don't see people with autism as needing to be cured anymore, and I'm glad that your children have such a positive and dedicated mother to see them through this world. Thanks for sharing your story!

You are a rock. Looking forward to reading more about your beautiful kids.

I am sure from reading your post that you are doing everything you can to make sure you break through. My son is on the spectrum and technology has been a big key in unlocking him and connecting with him. I highly suggest using technology with kids on the spectrum. As every child I have seen that has started using technology has been helped and it has helped unlock them.

Oh and when you get a chance stop by my page, you might be mentioned in my latest post...

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