First off I like to say thank you for all of the people that have followed, upvoted and resteemed my work. It was nice to see that. I have not posted in the past few days because I have been moving for the last 6 days 18 hours a day packing and moving my stuff into storage and the last day was 24 hours. I was unfairly evicted from where I was living.

They took a year to repair a leak in my apartment and the last 90 days of it there was a tent in my living room. So I started withholding rent, at the same time work slowed down and while I did get a connected with Real Estate Photography business as soon as I signed on their they hit a dry spell in orders.

I was in negotiations with the Manager when he was fired and even though I was ready to pay and asked who to speak with they refuse to talk to me and just evicted me. I had to file at the court and got a 5 day extension (it took me over 2 weeks to pack and move in to the place) so this was a week of hell for me.

But the root cause of this that has manifested on the outer level is that I had to move there and now from there to get away from a Sociopathic Parent that has been stalking me and harassing me my entire adult life.

I won't go into all of the details it here but every time they come back into my life everything goes to shit. I had built several online businesses and gotten away from them and was successful and then when I cut them off totally they did everything they could to destroy my life, stalking, harassing, by phone, text, email, making friends with my neighbors, sending a girl to date me and spy on me, even moving into my previous apartment complex after I told them not to! After I moved to get away, they tracked me down and it all started again.

I should have gotten a restraining order and put them in jail. But its hard to do that to your only parent that happens to be your Mother. I don't normally talk about this because It's embarrassing . But I'm tired of hiding it. You can't choose who your parents are (or if you can I sure fucked up). Do to this being done to me my entire adult life it had given me a form of PTSD or Phobia to this person and when they are in contact me with I go into deep depression and everything falls apart.

I don't have any addictions and I don't drink. I work hard and it's crazy to watch as all of your hard work falls apart by someone else's hand and influence when all you have asked for is to be left alone. And when I was alone and was left alone for periods of time when something else would occupy her time I would thrive.

She does this to me to create a need for her in my life and then she rushes in and says "Let me help you, I'm the only person you can really trust who is always there for you" all while preaching about Jesus and The Devil. Her place looked like a scene out of a movie with a shrine to me with over 40 pictures of my on her walls and sheets of paper with Bible Verses referencing me.

It's a hard thing to wake up from when that is your only parent, who was a good loving person when you were a small child. No one understands it unless they have lived it. I posted about this on Facebook today also and I got messages from people that have been through the same kind of situation with Mentally Ill parents. You never want to believe that your Mother and only parent is insane. Especially when she looks at you with sad eyes like she has done nothing wrong and has no response when you actually list out and tell her all of the things she has done.

So my plan is now to liquidate all of my possessions and move overseas to maybe Thailand as I want to live somewhere as far away as possible (because she will follow me to another affordable state in the U.S.) So anyone that has any info moving overseas I'd appreciate any resources.

Also I will keep posting my work but my main computer is offline at the moment and I'm still unloading the truck into the storage all by myself. So I'll do the best I can.

We all have challenges in life and hopefully we can help others with what we learn from them and this is what I have learned...

1. My compassion, loyalty and tolerance where my undoing. Do not have any of those for people who's actions are harming you. No matter who it is.

2. Remove Toxic People From your life and if they won't go get a restraining order and if they violate it put them in jail.

3. You can not deal with mentally ill people and doing so will make you feel crazy and drive you crazy.

4. If someone does not respect your boundaries, even having told them you are being hurt by it, remove them from your life.

5. Peace of mind and inner peace is the most valuable asset. I had over $150K in my bank and 750 FICO score when I tried to get away and nothing would stop her. I'm broke and basically homeless with bad credit and now unless I want to stay with the person that caused this, which means I'll never get back on my feet and be stuck in hell. I know I tried it years ago when I had to move in with her temporarily due to having Toxic Mold in my apartment in L.A. and everything just got worse and worse.

6. Sometimes it's not always your fault. I'm the first person to stand up and say take responsibility for your life and actions or lack of. But it's not my fault I moved 21 times by my 21st birthday or that I was born to a Sociopath that told me "I wanted a baby so I'd never be alone and know I'd always have someone" I went from carless, living in a dumpy hotel room to a business that was making over $100K year, but a bad economy along with constant harassment, spying, Police welfare checks, daily drive by stalking and endless emails was more than I could handle and it all spiraled down from there. It is MY FAULT for not being strong enough to go before a judge and getting a restraining order and locking her up when she would have violated it. But when you are intentionally isolated as a child from other family, you have no father and smothered and your mother was good when you were born until say 16, and brainwashed you to believe that you are her are a team and that it's hard out in the world on your own, it's very hard to do that. I remember years ago when I first moved out I was afraid because she was always telling me how hard it was out in the world and how lonely I'd be. And the voice of guidance or reason that sometimes comes into my mind told me "Look around there are millions people living on their own, living happy lives, there is no reason you can't do it also, you'll be fine" and I moved out. My compassion and letting her back in my life was my undoing. But everyone you meet, date, etc... Tells you how you have to "Love your mother" and have family.

7. You have to get past the "It's not fair" and " I don't deserve this, I was a model child" and deal with the reality and do what you have to do and what is best for yourself, your life and your inner peace.

8. A crazy person will look you in the face lie to you and say "I promise I'll never do it again" and start doing it a couple days later. They will never take responsibility for their actions and blame you for your reaction to their psychotic behavior and then they will claim to be the victim, justify their behavior and never flinch as they continue to destroy your life.

9. We are not all dealt the same hand life and their is no such thing as fairness or equality. We all just have to do the best we can do with the hand we are dealt.

That's all I wanted to say... And my next post will be one of my pictures and work. I don't like posting stuff like this but this is part of my journey in life and I have to deal with it and the embarrassment of this post will be worth it if what I have shared get one person out of a similar situation or prevents them from going through the hell I have gone through.

I will not be debating on this subject or what I have said here and I would prefer not to hear any negativity as if you have not lived my life I doubt you will understand what I have gone through. I'm only human.

UPDATE: See Part 2 of this post and the amazing transformation I have experienced...

NSPART - Broke 400 Followers... A ray of hope/light in one of the darkest times of my life. (PART 2 - The Transformation!)
https://steemit.com/blog/@nspart/nspart-broke-400-followers-a-ray-of-hope-light-in-one-of-the-darkest-times-of-my-life-part-2-the-transformation