Arguments not handled properly can suck your life out of you, leaving you with no power for anything else and throw you out of your well maintained and deserved balance. 

I truly hate those situations. I am exhausted from trying to be stronger than I actually felt! 

Image Source and art by Elena Svobodina

Wrong versus right attention. What others do, did, or left undone is irrelevant! Do not search after their faults, but rather look carefully upon own flaws and for what you yourself do, did or left undone. - Dhammapada 50 - Source 

Arguments are draining

They are inevitable and we can’t avoid them. I wish I could but under certain circumstances you know that a fight is coming your way. The moment you think that you got your moods in check and try to keep your good intentions to be peaceful, somebody will come along to poke you exactly at that spot where it hurts the most. 

The so called energy vampires can't be avoided, no matter how much you try to step away. They will be right there to throw all those things at you, you really don't need nor want to hear. 

Nobody should be allowed to hurt you without your permission.

I had a very unpleasant confrontation yesterday and feel like somebody slapped me with a wet towel for a few hours. What people say about you is usually a reflection about themselves, not you. 

This means that I have to be much more careful with the words I use as well. When I feel pushed in a corner, I end up feeling helpless and my reaction doesn't make any sense anymore. 

Its always hard to face rejection but its important to disarm any kind of conflict before emotions escalate and keep in mind that your value doesn't decrease because you don't feel understood. 

Refuse to let little things take up residence of your mind and feelings.     

Accept that feelings are pleasant, unpleasant or neutral. 

They are of six kinds, for instance, pleasure on seeing something or disgust on smelling something. Feelings are based on sights, sounds, smells, tastes, body-sensations and mind. - Source 

We all have some good qualities and we all have some weaknesses but I am not interested to have them thrown at me at the wrong times when feelings can't be controlled due to stressful issues you have to go through.      

Why would we want to be critisized how we speak, walk and talk. Isn't it our choice first of all how we live our lives? 

Nobody is perfect. 

I have to admit that I am not flawless at all but how can you keep your cool when "triggers" explode right in-front of your face. How can you protect yourself from emotional attacks? Countless times I told myself to stay calm when the storm is on the horizon. I keep on trying! 

It doesn’t have to be this way.  You can disarm an argument and resolve the problem. - Source how disarm your battles 

Emotional triggers

I am not doing well with criticism at all! It might be the virgo influence in me. I get very angry because I do expect that people I allow to be close to my daily life will speak well of me, respect me for who I am and don't point out my faults, without any consideration how I would feel about, unless I ask them for their opinion! 

We dislike someone who says something, our selfcentered thoughts do not want to hear, even though the words might be true and need to be said at some point. 

Don't we fall for praise so much easier? We wish to be liked, not reminded what flaws we have!

So, I suggest that we need to be in touch much more with ourselves that condamnation doesn't hit us so hard. I master this wish so much better than in my younger days but I realised that I still have a long way to go, to stop taking words too personal. 

We have the right for peaceful days and intelligent arguments if absolutely necessary but sometimes we get caught up in the silly and senseless, unwanted drama, still let it happen, instead of walking away from the scene. 

I remembered an article I wrote a while ago : The Philosophy Of Free Will - Rules for Critical Thinking And For Arguing Intelligently

Is it possible to eliminate our anger forever? Yes, it is, because anger is a false mind, an attitude based on a misconception. Anger is generated when we project negative qualities onto people and things. We misinterpret situations so they appear harmful to us. Absorbed in our own projections, we mistake them for the qualities of other people and get angry at what we ourselves have superimposed on them. The tragedy is that we’re not aware of this process, and mistakenly believe the rude, insensitive person we’re perceiving really exists out there.” ― Thubten Chodron, Open Heart, Clear Mind Chodron 

Tender Gravity Of Kindness, A Lost Virtue?

What did I learn once again? 

 Image Source 

Don't let it get to you! 

Don't ever let anybody upset you because its not worth the mental exhaustion! 

 ???

Image Source 

Image Source

Beware of unintentional thoughts, speech and actions. Recently was strain with resentment, aroused with unpleasant feelings when met with beings with whom full of evilness, scheming and disgusting actions. I should have more Metta, Compassion, Patience, Serenity to overcome it. - Dhammapada 50 - Source 

Inhale! Exhale!

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PS : Some of my previous articles 

- Walk That Walk, Like Talk The Talk! Boom Boom by John Lee Hooker

- My Call For All You Circle Jerks! Kindness Is The New Cool!

- The Struggle Between Quantity Versus Quality

- 💕Things Break Darling, She Said!

- Who Would Have Your Back?

- Gratitude As The Power Of Creativity And 6 Reasons Why Steemit Rocks My World

- You Love Those To Whom You Give And The More You Give, The More You Love?

- Warriors, We Are! Men Of Knowledge

- The Precious Gift Of Important Time And What We Do With It.

- How Can You Rise, If You Have Not Burned? The Theme of Rebirth

- The Revolution Will Be Live, Music History and Poetry!