Looking at the Glass Half-Full; a Day in the Life of lynncoyle1 and briancourteau

Hi everyone,

Today has been a difficult day for @briancourteau and I; physically for him, mentally for me. It's been a 3 seizure day, and that's with taking his seizure medication and for those of you who have asked in the past, CBD cannabis oil. For those who are unaware, CBD is the part of the plant that does not get you high, and it has been scientifically proven to reduce seizures in people, and a host of other ailments too.

Anyway, that is not the point of my post today. After Brian's seizure, two of which required CPR to help him return to me, I began to feel a bit sorry for myself. It is sometimes very easy to fall into a pity party trap, bombarding myself with the "why me?", and wallowing in my own sympathies. I've tried very hard NOT to do that, because honestly, it's a fall into a dark tunnel of despair and really offers no help whatsoever.

So, I joined the pity party for a few minutes that sat back and had a long look at what I DO have to be thankful for. And there's many. I began to write them down because then it's concrete and I figured it would help me even more.

Here is my What I'm Thankful For list :

This is Brian last night on steemit...you can see that Buddy has settled into the new place just fine :)

• Brian: My love, my life. Today he chose to come back to me, once again. I know the day will come when that doesn't happen, and instead of focusing on that day, I choose to focus on this day when he did.

• Mexico: How lucky am I? We chose to grab onto life and leave our home in Canada and move here to Playa del Carmen. Brian and I talked of retiring to Mexico "one day", but when he got sick, we decided that the time to do it was "now", so we sold everything, and I mean everything, and came here with a backpack each, one suitcase, and our cat, Buddy. We had the big house, way too many tv's, and all kinds of stuff, but when push came to shove, we realized that none of it was very important. We do have one small storage locker at home with my grandmother's buffet, some photos, and a few other irreplaceable items. It's funny, we spent our life accumulating stuff, only to get rid of it all.

• This apartment: I looked around and thought what a wonderful place to live! It's bright, sunny, spacious, with an awesome balcony and a rooftop soaker pool and bbq, and has a view of the ocean! I see so many impoverished, less fortunate people here who literally are living in a make-shift shed with a dirt floor. I choose to value and be thankful for having this beautiful roof over our heads.

• My health: Yes Brian is sick, but I'm lucky that I am healthy and able to take care of him. Of course I have my days when my body doesn't feel 100%, but I'm 52 years old and I'm assuming it just comes with the territory. Overall I'm in good shape, eat well, and take care of myself, so I'm choosing to focus on my ability to care for my love and figuratively and literally, pick him up when he needs me to.

• Retirement: Again, when Brian got sick, we made the choice to stop working. We've had a few 'odd jobs' over the last few years, but basically, we have not had a 9-5 job for several years now. How lucky are we? I'm choosing to focus on the fact that I'm only 52 years old and I don't have to get up and go to work everyday, that I get to stay home and make sure that Brian stays alive. That's huge! I know there are many people who get sick and have to keep working, or their spouse does and then has to leave the 'sick one' at home or with home care of some kind. I wouldn't trust this job of mine to anyone else in the world, and I feel so lucky that I am able to do it. We used up a lot of our savings over the years, but again, I'm glad we had those savings in the first place. We also have RRSP's (equivalent to 401K's in the U.S.), but we can't access them until I'm 55 years old. So for the next few years, we (or me) won't live in luxury, but I've learned that luxury means a whole lot more than material goods. I have the luxury of loving someone with all my heart, and he, me. That is something that money can never buy.

• steemit: And of course all of you. And no, I'm not brown-nosing here :) Brian and I were just saying last night how surprising it has been to us all the genuine connections we have made on steemit, and of course, after @davemccoy's fundraiser, just how kind, thoughtful, loving and generous you all are. When I left my pity party today, I choose to come here and tell you all about my thoughts and feelings because I know you genuinely care about them, about me, and about Brian. I'm choosing to focus on how fortunate I am to be able to come out on my beautiful balcony, with a fresh watermelon margarita and "work", and watch this beautiful Mexican dream happen first hand. I also watched the two baby birds in a nest outside my kitchen window take their virgin flight today, with mom nearby watching, and I pruned and saw new growth on my potted plants as well. Life is happening right before my very eyes, and I'm choosing to be a part of it. How lucky is that?

Here's my work space for today, and of course my new babies :)

We all deserve our own personal pity party sometimes, but the key is to not stay there too long. And I also have to say that you all have a right to complain to me as well. @simplymike with your hernia, @davemccoy and your sciatica pain, @abh12345 and your stomach/bathroom issues;), @gillianpearce and your "steemit down days"...and anyone else, you have a right to complain and have your own pity party too...for a short time only. Please don't feel like, "Oh, I can't complain to Lynn because her problems are way bigger than mine"; your problems and aches and pains deserve a voice too. But if it drags on too long, I'll tell you what Brian says to me, "I'll trade you places anytime, any day" :) Yeah, step in my shoes for a minute; I sure can't complain to him, so thank you for letting me do it with all of you ;)

Brian just texted me "hey"; it's our code word when he needs assistance of any kind; I keep my cell phone with me always. He just got dizzy and fell coming out of our bathroom (of course everything here is cement and tile), and split his eye open on a cement baseboard/ledge. I won't blah blah and find the silver lining in that one. Sometimes shit happens. Period. I am thankful he's ok, I guess it could always be worse. There! I guess I found a silver lining after all :)

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