Dealing With Passive Aggressive People And Behaviours.

Hitting someone below the belt is not cool and frowned at in combat sports or real life. That is exactly what passive aggressive behaviours are, but in this case unlike in a boxing match, both the aggressor and the 'victim' suffer especially if the people on the receiving fell for it.

Passive aggressive behaviours always arises from the need to get back someone indirectly, someone you are too kind of scared or 'courteous' to directly your anger at. It is an underhand way of letting one's anger out. As Wikipedia defines it > Passive–aggressive behavior is characterized by indirect resistance to the demands of others and an avoidance of direct confrontation.

---

---

Many child are raised in environments where it is 'allowed' to be angry at anyone. They must be cool and act cool every time. They are not allowed to speak back or at, especially someone older, even when they are hurt. A child with this kind of upbringing grow up with frustration that becomes patterned into behaviours of resentment. This same scenario can play out in the lives of an adult, but may not be obvious as a child.

An adult working in an abusive working environment or under a forced authority can develop sullen behaviours as a forced compliance. This can set a pattern of irritating behaviours even towards those that have done nothing to deserve it. People with Passive Aggressiveness also use it tool for manipulation to get others to do their bidding without being overly assertive or demanding...emotional blackmailing they call that one.

---

---

Red Flags of Passive Aggressive Behaviours

A person may exhibits behaviours towards others because of the resentment they are feeling for them. But these behaviours can become natural to some, that they have permanently become sullen and display irritating behaviours towards others without them been conscious of it.

Since we rarely objective about our own behaviours, the chance are you are exhibibiting these behaviours to others without realising or acknowledging it. Lets look at few signs of passive aggressiveness. The lists can not be conclusive, there are only pointers to what these behaviours are.

• Silence Treatment : This kind of silence can never be golden, it is a silence use to surpress our angers. And this eventually will result in outrage if the issues are not taken care of.

• Been sullen and midly insulting : Been sullen in conversation and grumpy in behaviours are obvious signs. These people also throw subtle but insultive comments or jokes at other people. It is a way of masking yet expressing their displeasures.

• Doing a poor job : This behaviour is common to the children, or some employees in a workplace. Intentionally doing a poor job below what the person is capable of is a way people show anger and displeasure to 'forced' authority.

• Perpetual lateness and Procrastination : It comes with the same thinking as doing a poor job, lateness and procrastination are also silent rebellious acts.

• Using Conversation Killer : When you can't just get anything or any goodwill or cheerfulness from someone no matter how hard you tried. They are always killing the conversations with one linears like 'fine', 'thats good', 'nice' etc

---

---

Dealing With People with Passive Aggressive Behaviours

People that exhibit these behaviours are not necessary bad people. They are just people that are hurting by your or other people behaviours, but are too nice/courteous to let out their angers or displeasures directly. They surely need some understanding or even helping if you can. They are people hurting but are not saying it directly because they are avoiding conflicts.

One thing with been on the receiving end of these behaviours is never to get mad. Getting angry vindicates the aggressor - "See he is at fault, he is the crazy one".

Since these is the way of transferring emotions or guit feeling to others. It is best to have a not confrontational conversation with the 'aggressor', this often catch the passive aggressor off guard and put the responsibility of expressing themselves which they are hiding from back to them. It is a normal occurrence for them to start releasing hidden angers after this kind of 'not confrontational' confrontation, but peaceably this time.

---

---

Thank you for reading.

---

Images copyright free from Pixabay 1, 2, 3, 4