Today’s lesson: What is Sapiosexuality all about?
When it comes to sexual tastes everyone is free to have their own, and there is a kind of sexuality that even if its not very common, it is becoming more popular with each passing day.
I am talking of nothing more than Sapiosexuality.
![](https://steemitimages.com/DQmdPv5BHKLhXj8dArzvphtgjqsGzVNKoZfgNCPmR1EELmC/capture.png)
What is Sapiosexuality?
Those who are sapiosexual are stimulated or challenged by the way another person thinks. They are basically in love with the mind. Sometimes, sapiosexual individuals have also been called “nymphobrainiacs,” or individuals who find it arousing to engage with the intellectual perspective of another person. | Source
Its main characteristic is that it is attracted to intelligent people above all things, even over physical attraction (although that does not mean that physical importance disappears altogether, it never disappears).
Sapiosexual people find delight when interacting with other individual who can communicate efficiently, rationalize and debate all sort of issues, as well as being able to make cool intelligent jokes thanks to a good capacity for imagination and a fast mind. These qualities can easily make a person be considered original and unique, especially if we add physical talents that have nothing to do with the intellectual world. With this last point, we will have a perfectly well rounded person to engage with.
![](https://steemitimages.com/640x0/https://steemitimages.com/DQmQYspCajkn6X7rfMVmDosY1y2RdGAZwWbsrebYXhM57vH/1.jpg)
It is important, however, to clarify that by "intelligence" we do not speak exclusively of "raw brainpower" like the one that a scientist would display when solving equations, but rather having a differentiating talent above the average, whether in a scientific scenario, or in any other area of life, such as art, politics, among others. In life, there are all sort of talents in all sort of areas, and each one of them can be interesting.
So for example these individuals may feel attraction towards an amazing book author, or a fascinating ballet dancer, a talented architect, a successful entrepreneur such as Jeff Bezos ( the founder of Amazon), or even a great historical painter as Leonardo da Vinci was.
When you think about it, why shouldn’t the brain be the thing we’re attracted to? Why would you want muscles over conversation? Why would you want looks over books? | Source
![](https://steemitimages.com/DQmdPv5BHKLhXj8dArzvphtgjqsGzVNKoZfgNCPmR1EELmC/capture.png)
Our traditional attractions
It happens that we have (just like any other living being) an innate survival instinct. In the case of our species (and many more obviously), the way in which we perpetuate our species is by sexual interaction which involves the sharing of our genes from one individual to another.
And because of the way we evolved, the work of males ended up being to try to find an optimal partner to make sure our genes survive, and that means looking for females with physical attributes that are favorable to have healthy children.
This adventure of looking for healthy women to obtain healthy children has led to a mental game where men pay attention to the physical aspect of the woman, because if they see an attractive woman, their brains will signal suggest the fact that it might be worthwhile to reproduce with that woman. And that is why instinctively the looks of the woman plays such a powerful game when it comes to men making a first contact when looking for partners.
![](https://steemitimages.com/640x0/https://steemitimages.com/DQmSaSjftAdM5xTmWjxYgHvV5Q1C9yZQTePAfXQ6U9h7RhW/2.jpg)
Something similar happens with females when choosing a male. Unlike the case with males, females do not directly look for a male that can properly hold a baby since that isn't the work that nature left to them, and this can be seen clearly in animals where its the female the one who always holds the little ones, instead they naturally look for a male that can ensure the survival and safety of that baby, which is the same as saying the survival of the species itself, and their own particular genes.
And in the times when we were cavemen, it meant to look for strong and skillful men who could not only look for food for the whole family, but also one that could defend everyone from any threats that they might encounter, like dangerous animals and extreme weather.
Survival means one thing: staying alive long enough to reproduce, so that the next generation can stay alive long enough to reproduce. Nothing else matters. Or at least it didn't when our brains were designed. This job, reproduction, was a brutal affair -- and it still is. | Source
However, given that in the case of women the main source of seeking a man was not only to be able to obtain sperm, but also to be able to provide for family protection, as civilization advanced, the concept of what a woman considered fit to provide and protect advanced as well.
For example, with the creation of more complex social organizations as villages and cities, a new type of creative and entrepreneur man appeared, which could now provide much better for a family with only the use of his intellect, instead of brute force like before. This new type of man just needed to be successful in one area like business, science, among others, to suddenly become the perfect candidate to protect the genes of the coming generation in the family.
![](https://steemitimages.com/DQmdPv5BHKLhXj8dArzvphtgjqsGzVNKoZfgNCPmR1EELmC/capture.png)
Our lives today
And today, where we are living the birth of a society based on information, where knowledge is the most powerful weapon of survival of all, it is not surprising that each passing day its common to see the fact that it is this type of intelligent and successful man the one that attracts a considerable proportion of the female population.
![](https://steemitimages.com/640x0/https://steemitimages.com/DQmPP5dW67Jd19oR77grKuXEVQfeewLLUYWmDzi1D1y9NrA/3.jpg)
Sometimes, however, platonic friendships between the sexes are also dependent on sapiosexual desires. This intellectual synergy simply fires up the relationship. This is often seen in the workplace and may be viewed as another aspect of being sapiosexual — that is, a desire to be connected with intellectuals, although the outcome is not always an intimate encounter. | Source
But this does not mean that physical attraction is not important, otherwise we would not have famous famous people showing their bodies at all times, but what it means is that we are in an era where our own process of evolving as a species is causing us to mature towards more abstract types of relationships, where we are beginning to give more importance to what is inside the minds of people, than to simply what’s on the outside.
![](https://steemitimages.com/DQmdPv5BHKLhXj8dArzvphtgjqsGzVNKoZfgNCPmR1EELmC/capture.png)
Conclusion
Ultimately, we must not forget to realize that this explanation is only from the point of view of the most basic and primitive human instinct of all, because we also have a social conscience, plus an intellect that evolves while each of us educates ourselves more and more, this examples that I have shared so far of a woman who takes care of children, and a man who protects them, is also changing, and today more than ever we are beginning to see more equity in relationships between people, where the woman now in many cases can be the one that provides, and similarly, we have a new generation of men that also takes care of children.
Do you consider yourself a sapiosexual?
References
psychologytoday - sapiosexuality
psypost.org - sapiosexuality study
menshealth - sexual attraction
elitedaily – attracted to intelligence
Images sources
All images are from pixabay
![](https://steemitimages.com/640x0/https://steemitimages.com/DQmdPv5BHKLhXj8dArzvphtgjqsGzVNKoZfgNCPmR1EELmC/capture.png)
If these titles sound interesting to you, I assure you the articles will be even better!
![](https://steemitimages.com/DQmcxXCMmZU2UE5K3ruL8T94Z7z38FUb4xEWctALuUfvhL4/bienlink.png)
![]() Love, affection, and their impact in our lives |
![]() Consumption, sales & psychology |
![]() Let's talk about people obsessed with always having control |
If sapiosexuality was a thing, I wouldn't know how to defend myself against the hordes of women wanting to sleep with me daily! 😀Since this is not the case, it is most likely just another myth. 😂
Seriously, a statistic that would be much more interesting on this topic would be, how many people with an IQ over 130 are single. I'll bet it's a much higher percentage than below... So no, I have never met a sapiosexual being in real life. Have you?
As I mentioned in another comment from @gentleshaid, the most common thing is a mix that involves intelligence.
Its not very common, that's true, but its real, you can read for example this report http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-5238565/One-ten-young-people-intelligence-important.html
I don't ask people if they are sapiosexual or not :D, but again, for a lot of people its necessary to have a partner who is smart.
Sure, many people say, that smartness and humor are the primary traits they are looking for in a partner - but I'm also aware, that this is only for the conscious tip of the iceberg - the rest is biological/unconscious.
In other words, you can have the most intelligent and funny partner, but when one day your body chemistry changes and you are not physically attracted anymore, these wonderful traits won't count anymore.
This is why I have a problem with the term "sapiosexual", because it makes it look like it is a biological function, while it only says something about a lifestyle choice or preference on the conscious part.
Well, they probably will count, but perhaps they won't be enough to maintain a happy relationship.
It is just that their brains get stimulated when interacting with an intelligent person. How would you call that if not sapiosexual?
Very interesting. I've often thought along similar lines. One thing I've encountered as a "smart woman" is that I have had a tendency to attract men who aren't very ambitious. I mean they want nice things, but they are attracted to women who seem smart enough to provide those things for them by the woman using her intellect and corporate abilities.
Now I actually tend to be attracted to men who are very in touch with their emotions, the Earth, and their intuition, which one might aptly call "feminine" qualities, but when I was younger that was in combination with drive, goals, and focused intentions (masculine qualities). That's because I was in the ambitious phase of life myself, and wanting someone who would contribute financially at least as much as I was trying to. But as I get older, I become more interested in someone who knows how to savor the sweetness of life, which is always found in the now, not future oriented seeking.
The question is, what balance of masculine and feminine works for any two people? No one is all one or the other, so necessarily there are different mixes of which traits a person takes from the yin or yang side of the spectrum.
You're right that these roles are shifting, and with that shift there is a lot of room for confusion because there aren't just 2 possibilities. There are infinite combinations of how the different aspects of masculine and feminine can interplay within an individual, and be drawn out within relationship to another person with their own mix of qualities. We aren't the same person with everyone! We change in relationship to who someone else is being with us. We grow with people. I'm sure people found it all so much simpler when all females were expected to cultivate only this set of traits and suppress all others, and males the reverse expectations.
Well that didn't sound good at all, and I am sure those guys will find a hard finding a proper partner that way.
It makes sense, there will come a time when we realize if we keep thinking about the future our life will pass without actually living in the present, and suddenly, we are already old people. Planning for the future is important, as is living and enjoying the present.
I totally agree with this, we live in constant change, a permanent growing, so our tastes and even our skills can be different over time.
It might have been indeed simpler back then, but now I think our world is much much better, even if there are serious problems of course.
Thanks for such a good comment @indigoocean!
Cheers!
Well this explains a lot. My friends have always been intrigued at my various tastes, in physical terms, in choosing my partners. I always summed it up to the simple fact that if I like someone I can date them. But I like a lot of people, I like people in general, and I am certainly not dating all of them, I am picky. Good conversation is a must! Thanks for the post!
I am glad you enjoyed the read!
I'm guilty, for me if u are intelligent that's it u won the first round
beware of the feminists around here although I think you saved it in the end :P (I hope you don't mind my humor)
Sapiosexual? The term sounds funny to me (in Greek sapio means rotten, but in latin it means intelligent).
To answer your question, I have to admit a man's high intelligence is a must for me (and so is good humor).
Yes hehe, I was careful when writing that exactly for the reason you mentioned.
Intelligence with physical presentability is the mix for me. Nice article
I think its the case with everyone actually, a proper mix that can vary from person to person, but always include things like intelligence and good looks.
@dedicatedguy what an interesting topic! Thank you for writing about it.
I can relate to this a ridiculous amount. For me, I literally can not be attracted to another person unless I find their mind (or the way they relate to their mind) attractive.
I do admit though, physical attraction still can potentially play a huge role; so it's not such a black and white thing.
However, I do know I wouldn't commit to any kind of relationship without being attracted to the other's brain.
I definitely consider myself a sapiosexual; and since I don't particularly want to bring more people into this world (adoption just makes more sense for now), it's all about mental compatibility & teaming up with the other person, you know?
I really appreciate what you've put together! Beautiful layout and content.
I'm not sure if taking on an editor is something you've considered, but if so, let me know; I'd love to help out with some final touches!
Its always wise for us to make sure we are compatible with our partner at the intellectual level, otherwise I don't think a relationship could survive if both are incompatible between each other.
That's nice to know mate!
Thanks! I always try to make the articles good looking by putting the pictures to the left and right and writing the title in the first picture. Any recommendations? I can contact you on discord if you are there.
Cheers!
Thanks for the response!
I agree, mental compatibility is so important. I've found you on Discord!
"nymphobrainiacs" is an amazing term, I think that will certainly come in handy when describing myself in the future haha! Great post, so interesting how this ties into our evolutionary psychology.
It will surely make the profile to look more interesting if you describe yourself using that word :)
Generally, I do agree with your point that intelligence might be attracting as this represents "healthy individuals" and potential survival of family and species - although, I do think "Sapiosexuality" is just a pop-science-term to express a slight shift towards more intelligent people for choosing as a partner.
The sexual aspect of choosing a partner is still determined purely by the genitalia, in my opinion. However - due to society changing, reproduction isn't the most important thing anymore and man and woman looking for someone "interesting" or "deep" or "intelligent" ... someone to share their whole life with ... might be rather common nowadays because the "imminent threat of having to keep the species alive" isn't so prevalent anymore.
On another note:
Please cite your picture-sources and if a commercial use is allowed.
Well, not only that, but now intelligence is much more important when it comes to surviving that simply physical strength.
Yes, the sources are at the end of the article under references. All from pixabay.
Oh, my bad, I seem to have skipped those four numbers. :D
Really interesting and insightful post.
Thanks mate!