Choices, or how my road to Steem Fest looks like

It´s been a while since I write. It´s funny, everytime I meet someone I tell them I´m a writer. I´m not sure why though, because I haven´t written in months. Maybe it is because i believe it gives me certain appeal towards the ladies - yeah, I said "the ladies", deal with it - or perhaps it is because I´ve always thought of myself as that: A writer.

---

But the truth is, between full time Steeming, Steem Projects, real life problems back home and my usual procrastination I haven´t had time to sit down and work on my novel or finish some of the short stories I have half written. Hell, I haven´t even had time in the past month to properly write a Steemit post that is actually about me and that follows my normal posting behaviour.

I haven´t even had the time nor the inspiration to write something about my road to Steem Fest and we´re already in week 4. How terrible of a person I am if I can´t even join my own idea?

Well you see, it´s all about the choices I´ve made.

Would I prefer to forget about all the community initiatives I´m involved in, drop all the projects, stop replying in discord and steem.chat and just post crap and boost it with my own delegation, get into vote collusion with other whales, use my votes only in my friends and family´s posts and just try to stack as much steem as I can? Probably, you´ll never know.

Some people say that everyone is a revolutionary until he gets to be on the other side of the coin. Everyone is an idealist until he´s part of the Plutarchy. Everyone is in favour of the minnows and the vote spreading until they are a whale.

I like to see myself as someone who still has his feet on the ground and stays true to the moral values, ideas and convictions he had when he was a minnow.

So that is my first choice. I´ve decided to focus in the community instead of making my own posts - around 80% of my rewards of the past 14 days are going to be used for giveaways -, I decided to not boost myself today in order to add my grain of salt to the plaform´s healthy growth in the future.

Am I making less Steem per week than before? Yes. Do I mind? No. Why? Because I was already a top 200 rewarded author before this dry streak and I don´t see why I shouldn´t step down for a while. Will I go back to posting more frequently? Bet your ass I will, hopefully sooner rather than later, but I´m not going to push myself, nothing good comes from pushing myself. I mean, if I wanted to be pushed around I would get a girlfriend and get a 9 to 5 and voilá, I´d be pushed around 25/7.

Don´t get me wrong. I´m not writing this for the sake of virtue signaling or because I want to be portrayed as a saint. I´m just opening myself and explaining what´s going on in my mind towards the platform and my choice of working towards the community instead of being selfish - which experience has taught me is way more profitable and better in the long run, but it´s only better for the person being selfish; we are striving to have a better future as a whole, not as a single.

You know. Looking back in retrospective, attending Steem Fest this year isn´t my decision it is one year ago Eric´s decision. This year I´m not making any choice, I just am. I´m going. After last year´s experience and all the positive outcomes that resulted from attending SF2 in Lisbon my brain didn´t even consider not attending this year.

I met so many amazing people, learned so much about myself, understood the value of the blockchain technology and the importance of making connections but most importantly, I learned that I can still relate to other people and actually have fun around them. Something I found very difficult to do if the other person wasn´t a nomad or long term traveler like myself.

Choices. I´m not really sure I´m deliberately making more choices than those two. I try to just flow and go along with whatever happens. I don´t have money problems but I definitely live on a tight budget 24/7. It´s been almost two years since I started living with only what I need and not what I want and it´s the most liberating sensation I´ve had. Getting rid of the attachment to the material was one of the best choices I´ve made. Today, my whole life fits in a backpack and, if I have to be honest, my whole life fits in a fanny pack - IF I had one, don´t you dare believing for a second I wear a freaking fanny pack.

What I´m trying to get to is, I´m not making deliberate choices, I just follow what I feel in the very moment and trust it will take me a step closer to Steem Fest. After that, I know I have some ideas and some goals but I won´t make any decisions right now, in the end they always change in the last minute.

I think this was one of my most out of touch freewrites, I felt it like I was lost between ideas and I didn´t really deliver a post like those I used to, I guess you can lose practice even for freewrites. But rules are rules and I ain´t going back to rewrite some paragraphs or add any ideas.

Thank you for reading this, I hope you got to know me a bit better and perhaps when we meet in Poland, you´ll feel like I´m not a stranger, but a weird acquaintance you usually avoid in the Christmas dinners but you are stuck with him for 4 days.