Writing Impact Challenge - Swanlike (Poetry)
Swanlike
Under the trees
where the bluebirds sing,
I bathe in a hot spring.
The bubbling warmth
heals the ache
of my sore body.
Renewed,
my mind encapsuled by serenity;
water gracefully slides
off my naked body -
pale skin glistening in sunlight.
Swanlike, I breathe
as one with the gentle breeze.
Feathers and leaves
dance around my feet:
my heart is the fuel
to an everlasting bonfire.
This was written as an entry to the Writing Impact Challenge. I chose many words from the list, and decided to go on a meditative and relaxed imagery. Yet, in the last stanza, I wanted to contrast that with the 'fiery passion' of life. I wanted to convey that even with passion and activity, one can be serene and at peace - they are not mutually exclusive. So, my challenge in life is to keep the fire going, to remain active, while being in control of the emotional situation.
I invite you to check out SPU Poetry Contest #1, which I am organising for our community, Steemit Poets United.
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'my heart is the fuel
to an everlasting bonfire.' Just this speaks so much louder than everything around. I love this piece of writing! -
Thank you! That's the line I've worked most on. Hours! Glad that it ended well :D
That whole last stanza is exquisite isn't it :)
"My heart is the fuel/to an everlasting bonfire"... Beautiful
LOL, we all agree that last stanza rocks :D
I really like the last stanza it is beautiful ...
That means a lot! I changed it 5 times. Spent a whole day since morning rewriting it, not being happy, etc. So I'm glad that's what you really liked haha
See hard work pays off :D LOL! Seriously though you did really well :) they are so gonna disqualify mine I went 250 words over word count .
Really nice poetry. I've been following you and enjoying your content :) Keep up the good work.
Thanks man! I do appreciate that comment!
I enjoyed this, Jeremy, for its voluptuous ease, renewal and reunion. Balancing fire of passion with the ice of meditation is no easy task, but well worth it... (I think of Buddhist injunction to have a warm heart and a cool mind).
Yes! That is what I was going for - fiery heart yet a cool mind. Thank you for your comment :)
Yes, teach @yahialababidi I am following you from comment to comment to gather your breadcrumbs, determined to be a student of yours. "Balancing fire of passion with the ice of meditation is no easy task,...Buddhist injunction to have a warm heart and a cool mind." I am loving this a concept to live by. Trying to remain always in meditation and abide in Zen. Thank You
And I’m trying to learn, dear Ren @rensoul17, from your generosity of spirit. You leave a trail of uplift and brightness wherever you go. Stay blessed ❤️
This is beautiful @poetrybyjeremy, I feel the stillness and serenity.
thank you :) writing this type of poetry is my go-to meditation technique ;)