The Unspoken Words…..

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My life was never a happening one. I was probably the most lost child in class who gets scolded by almost every teacher. Life had never been an easier job for me. It was another new session, new class, but nothing new for me. I was the same poor boy at the back bench who stood at the pity of teachers. It was the first class of 12th standard and I was no way excited for it. The class went like a mental torture with no specific fascinating thing. Life was a trouble as ever and I was least bothered about anything. Classes went by as usual and then bell rung for the lunch. I actually wondered how people can be so happy with the small stuffs they had. I was mostly spotted on the corner bench of playground and so was today. I looked up at the sky and wondered why I am not like the other kids, carefree, innocent and unaware about most of the issues and complexities of life. Deep down in my thoughts I did not realize when the lunch got over and the bell had already rung…twice. I hurried to my class as I could see nobody else in the corridors. Entering my class I had no idea that this day was going to change my entire life. I was in my class and just about to sit when I realised there was a strange face that I had never seen before. There was a girl in her neatly ironed school dress finely combed hair with flaps tickling her face. Her eyes were so beautiful that I almost felt like staring them for hours. She wasn’t talking to anyone and probably no one even noticed her sitting there. Her face was partially visible to me but I knew for there that it was the most beautiful of all faces that I have ever seen. It may sound stupid rather childish to have a crush at first sight but be it so, I really fell for her. I wondered why she was sitting all alone in the class. I didn’t know her, neither what she felt like, but there was something really strange about her. That look on her face told me something that even I didn’t know. I felt like going to her and talking to her but I was afraid to come up as a desperate psycho and make her mock at me for the rest of our schooling. Amidst the thoughts I decided to wait for the right time and quietly took my seat. It sounds strange for a sixteen year old kid to go so crazy over a girl but there was something really special about her. My thoughts were not so long lived as
the teacher entered and we stood to greet her.

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She greeted us back and then told us about the new girl in town. She made her come in front of the class and introduced her as Disha. Disha, my heart actually skipped a beat listening to her name. There was this strange feeling and my heart started beating like hell. I was even scared of looking at her as I thought it would embarrass her on the very first day of her new school. Teacher told she was from Indore and her father was here to expand his business for which she came here. With my head hung low I just felt her passing by me and going to the front of the class and then there came the time when I heard the sweetest voice of the world. She was fumbling, maybe she was scared of the new place and people, or maybe she was scared of stupid like me who would fall for her and even follow her on her way to home and even in corridors because she was so beautiful. I was all taken by her sweet voice and lovely face but I still dared not see her. Deep down in my thoughts I did not realise that the class was actually making fun of her and whispering about her. I did not understand why such a beautiful girl was mocked at. Later the class went by the normal schedule and finally the bell rang marking the end of the day. While everybody was leaving, I saw her again… alone. There was a different kind of peace that dawned upon her face which was irresistible and I was head over heels into it. Coming back home, I still couldn’t stop thinking about her. For the very first time I was excited about something. Next morning, I hurried to get ready and headed towards the school thinking of nothing else but her. I was about to reach my class when I saw the gossip girls’ group of our school. It was not like I was always bothered about what they say but something suddenly caught my attention, they were talking about Disha. If it was some other day I would have simply passed by but today I felt hard to do that.
Girl1: Have you seen her, God! She is so ugly!
Girl2: Yes and have you heard about her, you know the last school she was in, she was engaged in multiple relationships Girl3: Yes, even I saw her looking at my boyfriend, she is such a despo Girl1: slut!! (……and the girls started giggling)

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I didn’t know how to react. I wasn’t sure of what I just heard. I was not even sure whether what I heard was correct or not, neither did I have the courage to walk up to her and ask, after all I was a no one in her life. With all these thoughts in my mind I went into the class and saw her sitting. My mind was probably occupied by the words I just heard about her but seeing her face I wondered if such an innocent face could ever hold such a past. Playgirl, they said, was she really one of those. My heart resisted believing in what people said but my mind was in opposition. I was battling with my thoughts when the teacher arrived and started with the daily curriculum. Later that day I was still occupied by the same thoughts. Days passed by and things settled a bit but I could still hear from people talking about her of marks on her body which they claimed to be hickeys, and of her multiple relationships even now and also of how the students of our class hit on her and wanted to make up with her. Every time I heard something like that I felt like smacking the face of those assholes but every time I thought so I was driven by the fact that it would do no better but put her in trouble. Over weeks I only saw her getting into her shell even more and every time a new rumour sprang up about her, she drowned more into the dark world where there was no escape. She won’t say anything but I could see that right from her eyes. Eyes are the reflection of your soul, they say, and if this was true, her soul appeared to be the purest of all and how a pure soul can ever be wrong. Yes, I believed her and I wanted to tell her every time I saw her cry within. I knew she was not happy, I knew she even tried to kill herself… yes, I saw those slit marks on her wrist that she hid. I never got the courage to go up to her and speak as I did not want to add up to her pain but I made sure to give her a reason to smile every day, bringing her flower and keeping it under her desk, I knew she would be wondering who the person is and trust me I never even want to tell her. If there was one thing I was passionate about then that was seeing her smile. It sounds creep I know, but I was totally in love with this amazing girl, no matter what people say about her. Later that day Teacher told us about the Annual Function that was going to be organised next month. Everybody was excited about it and for the first time I saw Disha smile that way, the moment she gave her name for the dancing group. She loves dancing, I have seen her in the Dance club and how passionate she is about it, probably that is the only escape for her from the world that never understood her.

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It was a treat every day for next 1 month seeing her dance. She was so good at it that I fell for her every time I saw her perform for I knew this was the real Disha, my Disha. A day before the Annual Function, everyone was busy preparing for their performance, I being a nerd was out of the league. Costumes, decorations, dance, music, lights, anchors, everybody was in chaos and here I was waiting for my love to come up and perform. I was moving in the corridor when I heard someone screaming. I rushed towards the direction to see what happened. The music was loud so it was hard to locate the source but somehow I managed to reach to the place. It was Disha, she was crying, I saw Karan at the other end of the classroom with blood on his face. Apparently Disha might have hit her, I went close to them to see what had happened.
Me: “Disha, are you…, are you fine?”, I had seen her cry for the first time and my heart was throbbing.
Disha: “He…. He tried to kiss me... I..I hit him.. because he…” she was out of words, probably scared of what had just happened. I was in great anger, how anyone could dare touch my Disha and hurt her. Me: “How dare you, you bastard.. Don’t yoKaran: “Hold on man, don’t you know her, she was hitting on me and when I told her that I was loyal to my girl this is what she did.” What he said made no sense to me as I knew that Disha was being plotted, Me: “Listen Karan, I know you and what you intend, if you ever try to come close to her again, I swear on God I will hit you on your face and you will regret that for the rest of your life.” Karan: “Easy man, why are you being outrageous, did she hit on you too, you know how these girls are right. Bloody bitch!” I moved to hit Karan but Disha held my hand to stop me “Stop Rahul, please, I don’t want anyone to fight because of me.” Karan left and I and Disha stood there. Disha was crying in front of me, this was for the first time that I saw her from so close or the first time that we ever talked. I wanted to hold her, kiss her on her forehead and say everthing is just going to be fine and that I trusted her. I wanted to do so much and still I wanted to do nothing but just be with her in the moment.

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Me: “It’s Ok Disha, you don’t need to cry because of the morons like him. He is an asshole and everybody knows that.”
Disha: “Thank you Rahul, I just don’t know what to say, I just want to go home now.” She took her bag and left, I didn’t know what to do so I started following her.
Me: “Hey, I thought it was better to accompany you. You see even I am not interested in the Annual Function”
Disha was quiet thoughout the way, we didn’t talk much but I enjoyed walking with her. I tried to play goofy just to make her smile and every time she did, my heart skipped a beat. We reached her home and I bid her goodbye. That walk was one of the best walks of my life, we didn’t say much but I guess it was the unspoken that spoke. Next day was the function that went quite well. The later day I went to school only to encounter the mess that was already created. The news of Disha hitting on Karan spread along with the news of her having relationship with me to top that. I did not know what was happening so I searched for Disha first. She did not come to school that day, apparently she was aware of the news beforehand. The rumour spread like wild fire thrashing every single bit of her respect into the air. I knew sitting quiet was not going to help it. I had already indulged in fights with a handful of boys who called her names. It became impossible for me to take the burden of what she might be thinking of me. I waited for the next day and then the next day and then the next for about a week until she showed up. After a wait of a week, seeing her was like rain in the barren land. I desperately wanted to reach out to her and talk to her but I chose to wait. In lunch I told her to meet me in the garden next to our school. We got finished with the school and then as planned I headed towards the garden. She was already there waiting for me.
Me: “hey.. hi. I am sorry I’m late, actually I got stuck in thDisha: “What do you want from me? Haven’t you done enough for me so far. You are The worst thing that has ever happened to me.”
I world crashed down into pieces listening to this. I lost all my senses and I didn’t know hoe to react. Me: “Look Disha, I know what happened was wrong but I had no id-“

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Disha: “You have done the harm that you could and I never want to see your face again. Just get lost and never come back.”
I could not understand what went wrong with her but certainly she was taking me wrong. I had no words to explain myself and I didn’t wish to hurt her any further so I chose to get away from her. Her smile was like the island floating in the sea of my world and to save that world I would have sacrificed everything.
That was the last day we ever talked. Soon after, our final exams came near and everybody got engaged with their studies. The last place where I could see her was also coming to an end. Probably this was how it was supposed to finish. I was so carried away by whatever happened that I realised the need to bring my life on track. Recalling all those beautiful times of seeing her smile, watching her dance and feeling her presence pacified me. I got engaged in my studies and scored quite well in my boards. Soon after, I got selected in a renowned university for my higher education. Last day in the town, I wished to see her one last time. Knowing the fact that she never wants to see me again, I held my wish to meet her. But I still went there, the classroom where I first saw her, the place where we first talked, the spot where I used to see her dance, all these places still held her feeling with them and my heart started blossoming again. I could feel her in the air and essence made me long to see her even more. And then in the end I went to the garden where it all ended. I sat there for a while, felt her with me, thought of her smile that brings me life. She is the sunshine that lights the darkest of my days and she is the most beautiful of all. I hold a lot more than I could ever tell her, that walk to her home with those unspoken words; I don’t know if she’ll ever know how much I loved her. Well I won’t mind even if she doesn’t. I don’t need a reason to love her and neither do I need her to know that I love her because loving someone is seeing them smile and leaving no stones unturned for them and I’m glad I chose to do the same. Maybe this was the end with all those unspoken words; and maybe this was my story…………..

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…………….. and this was my story, I felt for him more strong than I could ever feel anything. My first day of the school and there was this cute boy sitting at the corner of the room. I didn’t get why he was not looking at me when all I could see was him..…..
. .
A week now in the new school and people are talking rubbish about me. They take my marks to be a symbol of my impurity when they don’t know that I am at the mercy of my father…… step father. I think no one will ever understand what it means to be wronged every day… every single day. But I’m happy as he doesn’t consider me wrong. He hasn’t told me but I can see it in his eyes that he believes me. He might never know but he brings strength to me and may be someday I will tell him… that I love him…..
. . .
A day before the Annual function, today I was forced by a boy to kiss him. I miss you Dad, I miss you very much. I feel like killing myself but like various other attempts I will fail this time too. I try really hard to hide away my scars but every scar of mine tells a different story that no one sees. I so want to kill myself today. If there is one thing that keeps me from dying then that is Rahul. He came for my rescue today. Amidst all those wild eyes wanting me, lusting for my flesh, seeing me as a disgrace, he is the one who soothes me. I don’t know whether he’ll ever know but he is the one I want to hold on to for the rest of my life, he brings me hope. Walking with him back to my home is the best memory that I would cherish for life. I probably lived a life with no meaning and he is the one who brought colours to it. We didn’t talk much but I still feel his presence. I don’t know if I’ll ever tell you but…. I love you……..
. .

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It has been a week now since we last met and I told him to leave today. The entire week I could not make it to the school due to the wound I got from my father. My father had known about the rumours and there was nothing I could do to save myself from the trouble I was in. He told I was a disgrace to the family. Lying on my bed….healing, I realised it was better for Rahul to stay away from me. He has his entire life after him and I will do anything to make it good. If my father knew about him, he would have killed him. I will take anything to see him smile, even if it demands being away from me. I didn’t want to hurt him but I think that was important to keep him from any trouble. My only reason to smile has also gone away from me. I will no longer be able to see him. You will always be my sunshine love and I will always cherish you for life. I don’t know if you will ever know… but I love you…….
. . . .
Today is the last day he is in the town. I will lose him forever now. That last connect will be snapped. I wonder if this is how it was meant to be or if this is what destiny had to bring. I want to see him but I will hold myself, and I’ll keep on holding myself for it’s his life I am concerned about. I went to the school where I first saw him, smiling, having that weird expression; I went to the place where he used to sit and wander in his thoughts; to the place where I used to dance just to see him sitting in the audience; and then to the place where we last met, where I ended it all. It is painful indeed but I know now that no matter what happens to me, he is happy and has a great life ahead. And I also know that he will still be my knight in the shining armour, smiling at me and making me forget all my pain. He is gone but his presence is somewhere lingering in my existence. For, he shall live with me for as long as I shall live. And a part of me will always belong to him. And he will always have his place in my heart. He is like the sunshine that dawned upon me and brought me from the darkness I lived in most of my life. He is like the morning breeze that touches my face and fills me with life. I feel him in the wind and I feel him in my heartbeat for I know a part of him is living a part of me. There are so many words that I wanted to tell me. But now I feel that may be some other day, maybe in some other lifetime, we will be together. For now, I know there are words unspoken but isn’t incomplete happy better than a bitter end. I don’t know if you’ll ever know…. But I love you……

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Guys I hope you all like this original story that is snet to me by my friend @dawnndusk and she is a great writer btw. So go to her profile and follow her and please tell me how you feel after reading this story.

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