The passage of pages - Part 1 online novel (Fantasy)steemCreated with Sketch.

in #writing7 years ago (edited)

photo-1500417148159-68083bd7333a.jpg

01 - Calesandra

Eldric woke up, finding himself lying on the ground, between piles of old books and notes he had write over the years. Some blood dripped from his nose and he thought “I lost her forever!”. The morning sun lurked in through a small window in his study. Dust dancing happily in the air and shining bright. A small room, in a high tower, made of big, old slabs of stone. Medieval in design and quite nice. He had been here for over 15 years. It was home. But for Eldric there was nothing bright and happy about it now. His mood was sad and grim, a tear forming in his left eye. Why did he follow his hunger for adventure? And why did he drag her into it? She might still be alive, had he never told her of his device. That tall and slender woman he loved so much.

While he was short, chubby and quirky, she had all the elegance in the world. At least to him. Both of them book worms through and through. He liked that, and she liked it too. Nothing like a nice, crackling fire, a big old book, some tea and her. Eldric could spend a lifetime like that. But now all that was lost forever. She is gone, dead. Nothing to do about it. He stared with empty eyes into the room and tried to hand himself over to the sadness. Something interrupted him.
A twinkle. A bright, green light that was caught in the tear that had formed in his left eye. What was that? There it was again! He looked around in his study. Books, more books, old notes, a dirty sock, his dog “Muffin” sleeping peaceful on a pile of more notes, 18 tea cups that need cleaning, his beloved reading chair, her pink bunny slippers, his pink bunny slippers, his device. His device! Yes! It was blinking. Green? It never made any light of that color. A ghostly, sickish, awkward, but somehow fancy green. Might she still be alive?

Eldric jumped up, grabbed some papers and started calculations. “Let’s recollect: I invented a machine, which came to me in a dream, that enables me to travel into the world of books. I visited some novels i like. Small, save and friendly stories. But of course i couldn’t keep my mouth shut. I had to tell Calesandra. Of course she wanted to come along. And not a save and nice story either. One of those scary books she loves so much. But could she still be alive in there? I need to check the numbers, cross-reference, prepare, analyse, and… i think i need to travel there again… alone…”

This is part one of the online novel i am writing live on Steemit.

Thank you for reading - please support this with a Up Vote & a Re-Steem if you like it. LOVE to all of you!

Other writing by me:

In Motion - Poem #3
Wild - Poem #02
Eyes flying by - Poem #01

photo source unsplash.com
This part can also be found on http://thepassageofpages.tumblr.com/

Sort:  

It's always nice to see new aspiring authors come onto the platform. Your chapter has merit and I certainly like the idea of traveling into book worlds, but you might consider formatting your post a bit differently. It appears as a wall of text, which can be a bit daunting. Consider leaving blank lines to more clearly divide it into paragraphs.

Best of luck, and looking forward to your next instalment.

Tiny

That is some great advise and thank you for your kind words. I will edit it right now :) feel free to give me any other creative critique. i love to improve my writing. :)

Well. There is a discord server full of writers dedicated to helping each other. ;-) Some of my posts refer to that magical place.

that sounds awesome :) could you post me a link to it here, i'm not sure in which of your posts it is. thank you

I'm on my phone so it's a bit awkward. But I believe the one on writing in a second language has a link at the bottom. ;-)

awesome, i found it. thank you very much for the link. Also thank you for the editing advise. i split it into three text segments and also made a "change line" in the middle of the second. Looks a lot better already :)

The @OriginalWorks bot has determined this post by @multi4g to be original material and upvoted it!

ezgif.com-resize.gif

To call @OriginalWorks, simply reply to any post with @originalworks or !originalworks in your message!

@multi4g downvote
you deserved it

@itpro what are you talking about?

do not mess with me

i'm not messing with you. i'm just interested in why you think this deserves a downvote?

@itpro i see that you are probably worried because i flagged one of your posts. If you like i can take that flag back and turn it into an upvote, if you do the same for me.

Coin Marketplace

STEEM 0.17
TRX 0.13
JST 0.027
BTC 58300.22
ETH 2638.09
USDT 1.00
SBD 2.44