"The US of Y" - by Lannie Brockstein - //Comedy Open Mic Round #27
As a Canadian, the fowl dollar of my fair trade has become increasingly dismayed that my country’s southern neighbour doth often seek...
August 18th, 2018
As a Canadian, the fowl dollar of my fair trade has become increasingly dismayed that my country’s southern neighbour doth often seek to be disingenuous whenever the gluttony of their nationalism does crave to speak. I find myself repelled by their struggle to dispel and dismiss the glorious consciousness of mine illustrious and alacrious Canadian sovereignty.
I complain, because such bravado as theirs has found it fanciful to exclusively call themselves “Americans,” despite the fact that in th’English language an “American” is any person whom is “a citizen or inhabitant of th'Americas,” from Greenland to Chile.
It is their own venerable Merriam-Webster’s dictionary which defines a “Yankee” as “a native or inhabitant of the United States.” So from now on, I shall not refer to their masses any longer in matters of their nationality, as “Americans,” for to do so would be to authenticate a misnomer, and be misleading. Rather, I shall knowingly refer to these awesome yet silly neighbours of mine as “Yankees”.
It is with British civility and French straightforwardness that I refute their illiterate intention which always tries to fool the minds of themselves and others into believing that they are th’only Americans on this growing Earth (that is also a hyperspherical planet), and thus that their jingoistic ideals doth always representeth th’ideals of all citizens of the Americas, including Canadians!
My tea and scones along with my croissants and crêpes hath awaken’d to the wisdom of the half-British philosopher, Ludwig Wittgenstein, who wrote in German that “Die Grenzen meiner Sprache bedeuten die Grenzen meiner Welt”, which more or less means “the extent of a person’s vocabulary is the extent of their intellectual activity”. As I no longer wish to pander to such a foolish perception of reality, I have taken it upon myself to extend the limits of my language.
Well then, what shall I call the country that Yankees are from? To simply call their country the United States would be no different from calling France the United Régions—that is not an appropriate nomenclature: it is an etymological root which has yet to grow into a name. The good people of France hath always arrogantly strutted around as though they are th’only Europeans, but not even they call all Europeans French, and nobody else does, either.
Since the Yankees, after more than 200 years, have not yet named their country adequately, I shall consider them unable to do so, and therefore as a responsible neighbour, I have taken it upon myself to respectfully name their country adequately for them. Thus, I christen their country “Yanks”.
I doth proclaimeth that it is a Yankee whom hails from the land of the Yanks.
As France is the land of the Franks, I hereby name the land of the Yankees, Yanks!
Its French pronunciation: Yance.
Yançois, the Yenchman, is from Yance.
•AUTHOR: Lannie Brockstein (2018). •TITLE OF WEBPAGE: "The US of Y" by Lannie Brockstein - //Comedy Open Mic Round #27 — Steemit •TITLE OF WEBSITE: Steemit •PUBLISHER: Lannie Brockstein •DATE PUBLISHED/LAST UPDATED: August 18 2018 •URL/WEBPAGE ADDRESS: https://steemit.com/writing/@lanniebrockstein/the-us-of-y-by-lannie-brockstein-comedy-open-mic-round-27
• • •Websites that provide examples or that generate citation for essays
in the styles of AMA, MLA, Chicago, Turabian, and more:
• Study Guides and Strategies • Son of Citation Machine
• wikihow: How to Cite a Website• • •
• • •Permanently archive this page as it appears to you today,
for future academic reference, with WebCite.• • •
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My thanks in advance to those of ye who doth upvote,
resteem, share, and promote this thread, and who post your replies!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I nominate @fromage and @quillfire as contestants
in The Comedy Open Mic Comedy Contest.
The Comedy Open Mic Comedy Contest - Round 27.
August 18th, 2018
The U.S. of Y.
by Lannie David BrocksteinAs a Canadian, the fowl dollar of my fair trade has become increasingly dismayed that my country’s southern neighbour doth often seek to be disingenuous whenever the gluttony of their nationalism does crave to speak. I find myself repelled by their struggle to dispel and dismiss the glorious consciousness of mine illustrious and alacrious Canadian sovereignty.
I complain, because such bravado as theirs has found it fanciful to exclusively call themselves “Americans,” despite the fact that in th’English language an “American” is any person whom is “a citizen or inhabitant of th'Americas,” from Greenland to Chile.
It is their own venerable Merriam-Webster’s dictionary which defines a “Yankee” as “a native or inhabitant of the United States.” So from now on, I shall not refer to their masses any longer in matters of their nationality, as “Americans,” for to do so would be to authenticate a misnomer, and be misleading. Rather, I shall knowingly refer to these awesome yet silly neighbours of mine as “Yankees”.
It is with British civility and French straightforwardness that I refute their illiterate intention which always tries to fool the minds of themselves and others into believing that they are th’only Americans on this growing Earth (that is also a hyperspherical planet), and thus that their jingoistic ideals doth always representeth th’ideals of all citizens of the Americas, including Canadians!
My tea and scones along with my croissants and crêpes hath awaken’d to the wisdom of the half-British philosopher, Ludwig Wittgenstein, who wrote in German that “Die Grenzen meiner Sprache bedeuten die Grenzen meiner Welt”, which more or less means “the extent of a person’s vocabulary is the extent of their intellectual activity”. As I no longer wish to pander to such a foolish perception of reality, I have taken it upon myself to extend the limits of my language.
Well then, what shall I call the country that Yankees are from? To simply call their country the United States would be no different from calling France the United Régions—that is not an appropriate nomenclature: it is an etymological root which has yet to grow into a name. The good people of France hath always arrogantly strutted around as though they are th’only Europeans, but not even they call all Europeans French, and nobody else does, either.
Since the Yankees, after more than 200 years, have not yet named their country adequately, I shall consider them unable to do so, and therefore as a responsible neighbour, I have taken it upon myself to respectfully name their country adequately for them. Thus, I christen their country “Yanks”.
I doth proclaimeth that it is a Yankee whom hails from the land of the Yanks.
As France is the land of the Franks, I hereby name the land of the Yankees, Yanks!
Its French pronunciation: Yance.
Yançois, the Yenchman, is from Yance.
"The U.S. of Y." is copyright © 2018 Lannie Brockstein.• • • •ATTENTION GOOD SCHOLARS!!!• • • •
•Information for How to Cite this Webpage:••AUTHOR: Lannie Brockstein (2018). •TITLE OF WEBPAGE: "The US of Y" by Lannie Brockstein - //Comedy Open Mic Round #27 — Steemit •TITLE OF WEBSITE: Steemit •PUBLISHER: Lannie Brockstein •DATE PUBLISHED/LAST UPDATED: August 18 2018 •URL/WEBPAGE ADDRESS: https://steemit.com/writing/@lanniebrockstein/the-us-of-y-by-lannie-brockstein-comedy-open-mic-round-27
• • •Websites that provide examples or that generate citation for essays
in the styles of AMA, MLA, Chicago, Turabian, and more:
• Study Guides and Strategies • Son of Citation Machine
• wikihow: How to Cite a Website• • •
• • •Permanently archive this page as it appears to you today,
for future academic reference, with WebCite.• • •
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My thanks in advance to those of ye who doth upvote,
resteem, share, and promote this thread, and who post your replies!
I nominate @fromage and @quillfire as contestants
in The Comedy Open Mic Comedy Contest.
The Comedy Open Mic Comedy Contest - Round 27.
Genuis. Thanks for helping the Yankees to put on their panties.
Pants couldnt rhyme!
'Tis the least I could do to return the favour. If it wasn't for the modern day bravery and fortitude of those from Yance (which near rhymes with pants), we Canadians would probably be speaking Russian by now. They’ve been trying to force Santa Claus to drink vodka, instead of his customary milk with cookies, for many years.
hmmm, you may have a point. But did you know that in the U.S., "Yanks" means "Northeners?"
That would, then, make you Canadians the actual Yanks.
Just sayin'. 😁
Methinks that argument which you put forth would very much be the case had Russia not sold Alaska to Yance in 1867 for $7.2 million US dollars .
hmm. I see. So Alaskans are actually the Yanks.
So if someone from Georgia calls a person in Pennsylvania a "Yankee," I wonder what they would call an Alaskan? Yankee2? Or Yankee-Yankee? Or Super-Yankee?
And what would that southerner call an Alaskan who now lives in the northeast and plays for the New York Yankees baseball team?
aarrrgh!
Methinks that baseball player would be called an Alaskan-Yankee who plays for the New York Yankees.
Now that the U.S.A. has taken to censoring its Confederate history, by means of destroying or banning its statues, flag, and other symbols; well, if that continues then being a Yankee will be th'only historical identity that USAmericans have left.
you would love Argentina! we have been calling them yankees for centuries! :)
As I have much respect for th'healing properties of colloidal silver, I am fond of the name "Argentina".
pocketsend:11@lanniebrockstein, play around with the token of fun - POCKET!
Successful Send of 11
Sending Account: pode
Receiving Account: lanniebrockstein
New sending account balance: 118636
New receiving account balance: 10
Fee: 1
Steem trxid: 8ca7ca3a1d7110cbd9e9404ef5c94ee3472e6a98
Thanks for using POCKET! I am running this confirmer code.
Hi lanniebrockstein,
Thank you for your entry in to #comedyopenmic comedy contest. We have asked the judges below to review your entry and give it a funny rating. (They generally have no sense of humor, as the saying goes, those that can't do, start contests and judge).
This will determine your ultimate position when the results are tallied. (That being said, you are free to adopt any position you wish - we can recommend pantsless with beer in hand.)
Judges:
If you have any questions or queries please feel free to contact one of the judges or come say hi in discord: Click Here
Thank you to @matytan for the great banner
Congratulations @lanniebrockstein! You have completed the following achievement on Steemit and have been rewarded with new badge(s) :
Click on the badge to view your Board of Honor.
If you no longer want to receive notifications, reply to this comment with the word
STOPDo not miss the last post from @steemitboard:
SteemitBoard and the Veterans on Steemit - The First Community Badge.
Congratulations @lanniebrockstein! You have completed the following achievement on Steemit and have been rewarded with new badge(s) :
Click on the badge to view your Board of Honor.
If you no longer want to receive notifications, reply to this comment with the word
STOP