Ahe’ey - A Surprising Reception (An Original Novel - Part 2)

in #writing8 years ago (edited)

Start here: Ahe’ey - Sky Falling (An Original Novel - Part 1)

A Surprising Reception

Present Day - 21st of November 2014 - New York

“Give me your hand Angel.” Said the one-eyed man softly, extending his right hand to hold the hand of the two-year-old girl who sat comfortably on top of his left arm. The man held the toddler’s hand and placed it under the fountain of water that streamed from the eyes of a weeping angel carved out of white marble. The creature’s face was lowered into his hands and covered by long hair, its majestic wings pointed toward the sky, the only signal of hope present in the stone sculpture. The curly haired baby girl felt the coldness of the water and giggled with delight. She looked back, smiled and touched the face of the man, caressing the silver eye-patch that covered the left side of his face. He held her hand, kissed it and once again placed her tiny fingers under the gleaming stream, much to her delight.

   Morgan woke up from her dream as she heard the flight assistant’s announcement that the plane was about to land. She wished she could remember the face of the one-eyed man that had haunted her dreams since she was a girl. Morgan placed her hand on her right shoulder and massaged it, attempting to relieve the tension from a bad night of sleep. She was exhausted; she had been travelling for over ten hours.

   As she was leaving the baggage claim area of the John F. Kennedy International Airport in New York, she saw a man holding a sign with her name on it. As she walked towards him, smiling, he looked puzzled. She was used to this reaction. She looked quite young for her age; they were expecting an older woman.

   The man holding the sign smiled and said, “Ms. Morgan?”

   She nodded.

   “Welcome, madam. My name is James.” He took her luggage, leaving only her handbag.

   A group of three men walked towards her. The eldest extended his hand. She recognised him as the mayor of New York, Mayor Jack Dawkins. He had an enormous, open smile and laugh lines surrounding his eyes, presenting a welcoming face.

   “Welcome, Morgan. I hope you had a safe trip.”

   She smiled, humbled by the unexpected presence of such a high-profile figure. She felt slightly self-conscious—he was wearing a formal, and undoubtedly expensive, black suit with a royal blue tie, and his white hair was perfectly combed and very shiny. In contrast, she was wearing her most comfortable travelling outfit, a white linen Indian-inspired tunic and matching pants. Her comfortable flat sandals made her feel quite small in comparison to the tall American men that followed the mayor and surrounded her in a circle. Thick, curly hair was half tucked in between her neck and the turquoise scarf that circled her shoulders. She quickly gathered her long dark hair and hopelessly attempted to smooth her curls, running her fingers through the unruly locks that reached her waist. I might as well try to control a tropical storm; she thought, amused by her rebellious locks.

   A man stood just behind the group, and she couldn’t help but notice him. It was clear he was part of the welcoming party, but he did not look, dress, or act like the rest. He stood at the back and looked directly at her with a kind, warm expression. Heavenly, she thought. He had a lean, strong body, his back was straight, and he held his head high, with an elegance from a different time. I know you. She felt slightly inebriated as she looked directly into his eyes. She shook her head and blamed the jet lag, while he lowered his eyes, eyebrows wrinkled with some troubling thought. She immediately focused her attention on the mayor, who was explaining that he was going to be travelling internationally that day but that he had wanted to come personally to welcome her and wish her a pleasant stay.

   As he introduced her to her appointed driver and her personal assistant, she looked back in the direction of the handsome stranger. Then the mayor extended his arm to the other man, who approached the mayor with a warm smile. His dark hair touched his shoulders; the top part of his hair was gathered in a loose ponytail that left some wide curls waving in front of his eyes. A light goatee perfectly framed his face. The mayor put his hand on the back of the younger man.

   “Morgan, I would like to introduce you to Gabriel Warren, who will be your host and guide during your visit to New York.” His eyes, set on her, were like the sea, shifting between blue and green, reflecting the environment around them. He extended his hand to her and held her hand gently in between his for a brief moment.

   “Pleasure.” The top of her head barely reached his chin. As he talked to her, he bent his head and shoulders, and she looked up to meet his eyes. His voice was reassuring, and his words were sparse but polite. “We should start walking to the car. I’m sure Ms. Morgan is looking forward to getting to her hotel room.” His British accent was very pleasing and charming.

   The mayor nodded and, as they walked, he continued, “Gabriel’s Foundation, Ange’el, is a major benefactor of many of our most prestigious New York City venues. They support the Metropolitan Museum and are involved in a variety of initiatives that support the United Nations and several medical research projects. I leave you in the best possible hands. My flight will be leaving soon. Please enjoy your stay in our wonderful city.” He bowed his head to Gabriel, who bowed back.

   Carl, the driver, and James, the personal assistant, walked ahead, followed by Morgan and Gabriel. She was still puzzled by the special treatment and the number of minders assigned to her.

   “We’ve made arrangements for you at the Pierre. I trust you’ll enjoy your suite and views of Central Park.”

   “Sounds really delightful,” she replied.

   As they walked, Gabriel seemed to be somewhat nervous. He was polite and attentive, but at the same time, he scanned the surrounding area continuously. As a man ran in their direction, Gabriel abruptly used his arm to lead her behind him, placing his body in between her and the running man. The man rushed past them, probably late for his flight. Gabriel stepped out of her way, placed his hand on her back, and encouraged her to move forward. He started moving faster; his expression was somewhat pensive and preoccupied. Opening the door of the limo, he led her inside.

   She felt slightly overwhelmed by his nervous energy and by the proximity of his body. As if on cue, Gabriel relaxed, smiled, opened a bottle of sparkling water and added a piece of lime to it. As he handed her the water, he also placed a plate of fruit—strawberries, blueberries, and green peaches—beside her. She smiled; it was exactly what she needed and what she liked. She was puzzled and grateful for his precision. What a happy coincidence that my preferences and desires are met so effortlessly.

   She was completely drained of energy, and yet she felt an unusual inner peace. She ate a strawberry, sunk into her seat, and relaxed. James was at the front of the limo, talking to Carl. She could not hear them through the partition that separated the front seats from the back.

   “You may want to sleep a little. The traffic at this time is dreadful. It’ll take us about an hour to get to the hotel.” His voice was calming, considerate, and hypnotic. She closed her eyes and fell asleep.

   She woke up as they reached Manhattan; the hustle and bustle of town woke her. It was a warm and bright winter day in late November. The Christmas lights were already up, and the Christmas shopping crowd navigated around the traffic, carrying their bags and packages. As they arrived at the hotel, he opened the doors and gently but decisively attempted to move her and the rest of the group inside the building.

   She was not sure what bothered her most, the fact that he constantly touched her back and took a clear position of authority or the fact that she was complying with and enjoying it. She rebelled against the captivity of his charm. As he tried, once again, to rush her inside, she stopped, took a step to the side, away from him and started walking slower. He looked at her, puzzled, surprised, and perhaps slightly irritated. She smiled, amused by his reaction and happy with herself.

   He seemed to relax as they got inside the hotel. Black-and-white marble tiles adorned the floor of the high-end hotel, making a clear introduction to the luxury that was yet to be experienced by the guests. Colourful murals depicting Greek gods adorned the walls of a rotunda that led to a marble staircase. The vivid trompe l'oeil paintings borrowed their style from the Renaissance. They did not have to check in and went straight up to the grand suite.

   Morgan was amazed by the size and sophistication of the suite. She had her own private terrace, a master bathroom bigger than most hotel rooms she had ever stayed in, and a huge living room that was separate from her bedroom.

   “I assume you are too tired to dine out today? I have made arrangements for a light dinner to be served in the suite’s living room in a couple of hours. I’m staying in the hotel, and with your permission, I’ll join you for breakfast tomorrow morning so that we can discuss this week’s plans.”

   She nodded gratefully. “Good night. Thank you, Gabriel.”

   He smiled and turned to leave. She felt overwhelmed by his beauty. Looks are worth nothing, she thought, dismissing the butterflies in her stomach.

Read more: Ahe’ey - I Will Find You (An Original Novel - Part 3)

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In general sounds good. I liked “were like the sea, shifting between blue and green.” Just a very pretty sounding. “…reflecting the environment around them” is a little off, it’s kind of anticlimactic after such a lofty prelude.
I also was bothered by the phrase “She felt overwhelmed by his beauty.” If, for example, Morgan was a lesbian and was getting all hot and bothered about another lady that phrase would have worked out ok. But this type of comment addressing a heterosexual male sounds off.
On the content…
Gabriel was obviously concerned about Morgan’s security. She must have been too tired to figure this out. From the novel narrative standpoint, I think you threw around too many clues of the same kind. One time would have been enough. I liked though how Morgan threw a tantrum before going into a hotel. A very good behavioral observation on your part.
I wonder, what your thought process was regarding Gabriel knowing that Morgan liked strawberries. Did he know because he already studied her habits as he reminds an intelligence agent? Or was it because he dealt with many women and this was what most of the women of this type liked or pretended to like.
Is this the picture of the hotel? Haven’t been there, but I’ve been in Waldorf Astoria. Looks similar – old and gaudy. And the view at the Central Park… I understand Yellowstone – that’s a beauty. Compared to it the Central Park is just a bunch of trees planted for bums.

I always enjoy your observations, even when I refuse to answer any questions to avoid spoilers ;) I would appreciate if you could share with me your gender and age group, but I understand if you are unwilling to share. I also would love further insights as to why you believe "beautiful" is not an adjective that applies to men. Thank you, J.

Nothing could be easier.
Heterosexual male. 59. Married. 3 Children. 2 Granddaughters so far.
Here is my intro.
https://steemit.com/introduceyourself/@mgaft1/neither-left-nor-write-breainer
Here you can see my son Gabriel, so you could have some idea of how I look
https://steemit.com/writing/@mgaft1/working-with-gabriel-on-filming-a-scene-from-henry-v

Thank you. The context helps me better understand your feedback. Here is some context in return. My favourite Henry V is Mr. Hiddleston in the Hollow Crown. I enjoy the way this play changes from generation to generation as the definition of manhood evolves. Same words, but a very different performance from Olivier or Branagh. p.s. I used the adjective "beautiful" quite deliberately.

I am not a native speaker as you are. However, I learned that when you refer to man’s physicality you should use the word “handsome.” When you calling a man beautiful you refer more to his internal qualities. For example, the presenter in this video is a beautiful man, but he is hardly handsome.


So unless you meant that in this scene, Morgan referred to Gabriel’s personality, the words that could provide a semantic validity was probably “attractive” or “handsome.” “She felt overwhelmed by his beauty. Looks are worth nothing, she thought…
Even though stylistically your phrase sounds very good.

As far as Mr. Hiddleston presentation is concerned, he is a talented actor and I am sure he delivered the lines to suit the particular director’s intentions. However, I cannot imagine that the real Henry V would be able to motivate his people for a battle with such a delivery. It has less to do with the image of masculinity, but more with the types of emotions that one has to ignite in the crowd in order to motivate it for a subsequent killing.

Thank you. I didn't feel that you refused to answer my questions. Actually, you’ve answered quite many of them, perhaps not realizing that you have done so. The thing is … I have no particular interest the questions related to your external life or your public relations such as where you live, what your real name is, how old you are, how much money you make, whether the picture presented in your intro is actually the picture of you, etc. Surely, you have the reason to control the exposure of this information, because you never know who could possibly read these exchanges.

My interest has to do with your astral life, the life of your consciousness. Here your writing itself offers plenty of possibilities to get to know you. Here is the example…

“Morgan could not read the man in front of her. One moment, he was smiling and seemed genuinely interested in speaking to her. In the next moment, he was sombre, and his mind was somewhere else.”
An average reader would be surprised in this evaluation for what is so difficult in reading Gabriel at this moment?

In this moment Gabriel has some security concerns regarding Morgan, as he is the one who supposed to provide this security. He has to hold in his mind the entire stay in New York and think of the entire complex of countermeasures to the possible attempts of her kidnapping or association.

Therefore the exchange pleasantries and the other small or even medium talk that he is engaged with Morgan occupies only the very superficial part of his mind. Even if he is attracted to Morgan as a woman, he at this point wouldn’t let himself act fully on that attraction, or rather would hold his emotions in control.

I am pretty sure that as a writer you mulled all these considerations in your mind. Why then Morgan could not figure this out? You either felt that this would be a normal female reaction or thought that the average representative of your potential audience would expect such a reaction from a woman in Morgan’s situation.

Thus, here is where an interesting question comes up… You present Morgan as a progressive feminist that is fighting for women’s rights in the workplace and in education, especially in the area of precise science. Yet, you show that under the effect of emotions she is unable to connect the dots in a very simple logical problem. So here the writer in you gets into a conflict with you as an ideologist and the writer wins. I can only applaud you for that, for as far as I am concerned I’d chose a good and honest writing over any ideology.
Cheers

Good storytelling is layered, complex and presents characters that have strengths, weaknesses and contradictions. People in real life are far from perfect; a good character is one that struggles with inner conflict, like the rest of us. Part 8 provides some further insights into Morgan's personality and her inner battles. https://steemit.com/writing/@jamielefay/ahe-ey-perfection-an-original-novel-part-8
p.s. here are my thoughts on ideology vs story: http://www.angeelseries.com/about-jamie.html
Thank you for your continued interest @mgaft1. J.

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