The Thirteenth Proxy, Chapter 1

in #writing7 years ago

BOOK COVER 13th PROXY alternate.jpg

CHAPTER 1 - "Within A Dark Woods"

It was early morning, the sky dimly lit by the sun's russet tone, dew clung delicately to the dense forest trees that loitered amongst the undergrowth that was shielded by the massive canopy overhead. Light beamed through the narrow openings of leaves and branches like glitter. Everything was quiet except for the hushed panting of Avery's breath as she crouched behind a thicket of bushes, her mouth covered in an attempt to remain silent. She was exhausted. She'd been on the run for days on end and the chase had taken a toll on her fortitude.

"She's out here somewhere," said the shorter of the two men. Their features were hidden behind heavy, black armor from head to toe. They cradled long assault rifles in their arms like precious cargo. Slowly they moved through the trees, side by side, scanning the horizon intensely, stalking their dangerous prey. The pale blue holographic visors that covered their eyes reflected off their helmets, flickering in unison.

"Cut the chatter," whispered the senior officer to his subordinate. "The transponder clearly shows she's nearby. Stay alert." This man was tall and muscular by comparison. He bore the weight of his gear with ease and maintained a state of combat readiness that the other man failed to achieve.

Avery watched frozen, shivering in the cold as the two men inched closer and closer to her position. Leaves softly crunched beneath the weight of their combat boots. Her mind raced in anticipation of the coming conflict between them– should she run deeper into the forest or make for the treeline? No, the second she moved they'd spot her and shoot. They'll never leave... not until they found her. She needed a distraction.

These were Repo Men; mercenaries on the government's payroll specifically trained to engage prosthetically enhanced humanoids. They took pride in their tenacity and ruthless tactics. They would never give up and with that damned transponder embedded in her body, tracking her was a simple enough task. They'd chase her to hell and back. She had to ditch these goons and remove the tracker. But how?

I can do this, she thought to herself. She just needed to subdue one of them to even the odds. They now stood on the other side of the bush where Avery laid waiting. The men stopped. Her eyes scanned through the branches in an infrared spectrum. The leader of the two appeared calm and focused, his heartbeat steady. But the lower-ranking officer was highly agitated, his pulse raced and his face was hot. Perfect, she thought. She'd found her target.

"She's close," the Repo Man whispered to his superior. They both froze and scanned for any signs of movement but the forest was eerily quiet. "I don't like it. Feels like an ambush."

"Man up, Corporal," the other man replied, his weapon held at the ready. The distinguishable insignia of a blood red fist clenched around the globe displayed proudly on his chest signaled that he was a lifer- a fervent disciple of the Union. A tool without any mind of his own, to be used as both sword and shield against the enemies of the State. He'd signed away all his rights as a citizen for the promise of glory in service to his betters. This man was undoubtedly sporting cybernetic enhancements. This one could pose a serious threat if challenged openly.

The other man, however, must have just turned eighteen and been conscripted into three years of service in the armed forces that was mandatory for all citizens. He was short and slender. No enhancements. He looked exhausted and fidgeted with his armor. Easy picking.

Avery's chest beat like a drum. A bead of sweat trickled its way down the side of her face as she stealthily moved into position. A gust of wind blew in from the east. The tops of the trees swayed and their long trunks creaked as it moved through the woods like an invisible wave. There was a loud crack as a far away branch snapped and fell to the forest floor. Both men whipped around and pointed their guns in its direction.

This was the opportunity she'd been waiting for- Avery lunged at her target and yanked him backwards into the bushes. The man screamed and fired a few rounds into the air. She was quick, her technique flawless. There was a muffled yelp then a snap of bones before his partner could react.

"Corporal? ...corporal!" the other Repo Man pointed his gun at the bushes hesitantly. His visor flashed to indicate that the other man's heart rate had flatlined. Gunfire erupted in the peaceful woods as the Repo Man emptied his entire clip into bushes. Click, click, click, click- his finger continued to pull the trigger though his ammo had run out some time ago. He was visibly shaken. "...McArthur?" There was no response. The forest still and even the wind seemed to hold its breath for a moment.

He crept into the killzone cautiously, scanning all sides as he went. "McArthur, report. Mike!" still, no response. As he made his way around the bend of a massive tree trunk he discovered the body of his subordinate slumped over. He slung his rifle over his shoulder and rushed to his aid. "Jesus Christ! Mike! Mike?!" he yelled frantically. He knelt down and pulled up his partner's body. The Corporal's head hung limp to the side, his neck snapped.

He jumped to his feet at the sound of footsteps coming from behind him, but it was already too late- Avery was on top of him. The Repo Man pointed his rifle and pulled the trigger but his clip was still empty. In his haste, he'd forgotten to reload. "Shit!"

Avery roared as she struck him square in the face. Her hand flattened like the tip of a spear, she shattered his protective visor. There was a wet crunch of bone as she shoved her hand through his face. The man's body went limp. Blood oozed from the edges of the helmet and dripped down onto his shoulders. He dangled from her arm like a macabre puppet. She had to brace his helmet against her foot in order to pull her arm free of the man's head -- Thud! -- his body fell to the ground in a bloody heap.

Avery's arm was drenched in blood. She delicately pulled bits of glass from her hand. She sighed and stared down at the two bodies that laid in front of her. She didn't enjoy killing, but death seemed to follow her wherever she went. "I'm sorry," she apologized to lives she'd just took. They were people, she reminded herself. With lives and friends and family... They didn't deserve to die like this, forgotten and alone in the woods. She bowed low, but there was no time for respect for dead men.

"There she is!" another group of Repo Men appeared in the distance. There were coordinated shouts closing in on Avery's position, their voices a mix of alarm and satisfaction. One of the Repo Men caught sight of their fallen comrades. "Friendlies down! Fire! Fire!"

Time seemed to slow down for Avery. Her senses became highly attuned and instinct took over. It felt like she had left her body, viewing herself from over the shoulder. Her fears seemed to melt away. Only cold, calculating logic remained. She simply surveyed the field in slow motion. She heard the safeties click off of the Repo Men's guns. With unnatural speed, she watched from above as her body sprinted away. Avery wove through the trees with ease. The quiet dark of the forest was polluted by the deafening roar of gunfire -- crack, wiz! -- they fired all around her, bullets impacting the trunks of trees with a thick smack and slicing through the flora of the woods as they missed their target. In mere seconds, the forest air was choked with shredded debris and broken branches.

"Proxy sighted! Heading North by Northwest!" their voice barely audible over the sound of gunfire.

"We've got her now!" another man laughed with distasteful glee as he reloaded his gun. The team of Repo Men clumsily gave chase and continued firing wildly into the forest.

The treeline was just ahead. Avery could see light peeking through the forest's edge. "Faster! I have to go faster!" she said to herself, picking up speed. She nearly collided with trees and had to duck incoming branches as she jogged between the winding paths. Then she felt a hot, piercing pain graze her left arm. A deep gash opened up her skin. Her consciousness sunk back into her body unexpectedly which caused her to stumble. She crashed hard into the trunk of a tree. It creaked and tilted to the side from the momentum. She felt a rib crack from the impact and pain washed over her like a torrent.

"Ahh!" she howled like a wounded animal. The sound of gunfire was getting closer as the hail of bullets still rained down upon her. Hot red blood dripped down her limp arm till it collected by her hand- it oozed between her fingers as she clenched her fist. Another bullet struck her square in the shoulder. She cried out in pain once again. Fear gripped her. She tried desperately to stop the bleeding by squeezing her arm wound tightly. Avery staggered forward and ducked behind the trunk of a tree as a shield. Her body resonated with pain and her vision began to blur. A cold, clammy sweat gripped her as she tried to catch her breath.

She pushed off from the trunk and despite the pain, she persisted. Her pace was erratic and clumsy. But she finally made it. The morning light blinded her vision as she exited the forest. And then she saw it. A massive cliff just ten feet from the treeline. She stepped forward and leaned carefully over the edge. A white water river raced across the bottom a mile below. She stood and stared in disbelief at the ravine. She laughed hysterically at her misfortune. She'd gone the wrong way.

"Freeze!" the Repo Men stood at the edge of the treeline, their stance rigid, fingers poised over the triggers.

"Hands in the air! Turn around, now!" the other man yelled, his voice shrill and breathless. Their weapons drawn, a pair of little red dots fluttered around the back of Avery's skull as they aimed for a kill shot.

"I won't go back..." Avery said in a grim, yet soft tone. Her voice was exotic and hauntingly musical. It resounded in your head even at a whisper.

Avery turned around slowly, still clutching her wound with one hand. Tears streamed down her pale, porcelain face. Smoky eyeshadow and winged black eyeliner made for a sharp contrast against her milky skin. A thin black line traced across her face from ear to ear, dividing it in half at the bridge of her nose. Another pair of small black lines intersected between the bottom of her eyelids to her cheeks. Her deep red eyes glared at the men with defiance as faint, golden flakes danced around her irises. Her long raven hair spilled over her shoulders and down her chest, framing her face like a work of art. She was tall and sleek. She had an artificial quality that was beautiful; as if she'd been sculpted out of marble and given life by some ancient forbidden magic. She was an angelic golem, her presence still inspiring despite the bloody and broken appearance. She wore nothing except for pair of briefs that were stained by mud and specks of blood from the chase.

She smirked at the men, most of whom were too busy staring her to notice she was inching towards the edge of the cliff. "I'll never go back," she repeated. "I'd rather die first!" as those words spilled from her lips, Avery dove backwards into the ravine.

"No!" the men shout in unison, two of them sprinted forward in an attempt to grab her. But it was too late. She was already gone.

Perched over the edge of the cliff, they watched in disbelief as their quarry was swallowed up by the canyon. A faint, playful laugh echoed off the rocky walls as Avery mocked the Repo Men. There was a small sense of satisfaction in death. If she couldn't have her freedom, at least she'd denied them their prize.

Wind rushed around her as she fell faster and faster, still facing the sky. Her stomach lurched as she plummeted to the bottom. "It's funny," she whispered during the free fall, her life flashed before her eyes. "Back then, I would've given anything to be a Proxy." The roar of rushing water grew louder and louder. The retelling of the youth she left behind played in her head as a more cheerful version; the mind's attempt to block out the harsh reality of those painful childhood memories.

Avery neared the end of the fall, so she closed her eyes- resigned to her fate. "This sucks..." The sound of water thundered in her ears. "...I don't want to die."

SPLASH!

The impact of the water felt like landing on concrete. Her limbs cracked in wrenching jerk. Everything faded to black as she sunk beneath the surface and was carried downstream.

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-SINCERELY,

Deadman

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I came back in time to start here, at the first and probably most important episode - unless the last one is.

I was thinking, as I read, personae like Avery are usually created to stir our emotions in a negative way. You, on the other hand, have linked us to her, so that we identify with her as a person - despite your description of lines across her face, her porcelain skin and red eyes - which made her blood an important aspect of the story, cementing our bond as we think of her being in that critical way a human. "Cut me and do I not bleed?"

Still, what bonds me to her is her reluctance to take lives and the fact that she treasures her own and is willing to fight for it - living as we do in a society where most people have given up, her courage and determination is refreshing and an example.

Okay, I'm pro-Avery for now, I just hope she does not let me down....

That is a lovely description of Avery. She has many sides, but she wants to be human. She was human, in another life, which you'll see as the story develops.

So much action, I felt as exhausted as Avery must be at the end! Quite the introduction to the world, too.

My critique for now would be to mix up your use of words, substituting some for description. You tend to use 'blood' a lot and it's slightly distracting.

Otherwise, I enjoyed it. I felt the eerie wind, and the anxiety. Loved the use of sound effects nestled in the narrative.

Thank you! I really appreciate the feedback. I tend to write quickly so I don't forget things, that's why you see a lot of reused words in my first draft. I have lots of notes on synonyms to change up words when I do my rounds of edits. I will add this to my notes! I'm glad you enjoyed it :)

Much obliged. I'm looking forward to reading more!

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