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RE: The Thirteenth Proxy, Chapter 1
So much action, I felt as exhausted as Avery must be at the end! Quite the introduction to the world, too.
My critique for now would be to mix up your use of words, substituting some for description. You tend to use 'blood' a lot and it's slightly distracting.
Otherwise, I enjoyed it. I felt the eerie wind, and the anxiety. Loved the use of sound effects nestled in the narrative.
Thank you! I really appreciate the feedback. I tend to write quickly so I don't forget things, that's why you see a lot of reused words in my first draft. I have lots of notes on synonyms to change up words when I do my rounds of edits. I will add this to my notes! I'm glad you enjoyed it :)
Much obliged. I'm looking forward to reading more!