Edit: I'm thrilled to announce my first client! @steemradio has contacted me over chat regarding their upcoming post. Keep an eye out for it!

Friends! Steemians! Crypto-countrymen! Lend me your ears!

The time has come to step up your game. Do you write like old people fuck - slow and sloppy? Are you tired of your posts looking like they came out of a cat's asshole, or do you feel like you could be raking in that fat crypto dough if only you could spell worth a damn? Do you keep mixing up you're and your?

Well today is your lucky day because here I am, ready and willing to take on all comers. That's right, I'm opening my doors to your business, right here, right now.

Announcing @beowulfoflegend's proofreading and editing service!

That's right, for the super-low price of just 5 SBD you too can have your post proofed and edited by a professional. How professional are we talking here? Let's take a look at my qualifications:

• a Master of Arts in English Literature from the State University of New York at New Paltz
• over six years of experience working as a freelance editor, proofreader, and journalist
• an opinion on the Oxford Comma
• really great hair

Search your feelings; you know it to be true. You need help, and I'm here to provide it.

The 5 SBD Quality Guarantee

"Whoa whoa whoa," I hear you saying already. "5 SBD per post? Are you crazy? That's more than the post might even make in rewards!"

I hear you, Sparky. I really do. But let's be honest here: part of why you're not making any money on your posts could be due to the fact that you're just rolling your face across your keyboard and hitting "Post." Trust me, you want me - no, you need me - to give your posts a once-over. Nobody, and I mean nobody, can polish a turd like I can.

Are you fucking serious?

I am as serious as a heart attack, folks. Okay, real talk here: I want to make a couple of extra bucks on the side by doing this, but I'm not looking to make a quick buck at someone else's expense. Still, I stand by the quality of my work. That's why I guarantee that if your post doesn't make at least $5 worth of rewards, your proofread/edit is free.

I refuse to be rewarded for work that does not benefit the community at large.

Does this mean I might get hosed, more than once, on under-performing posts? Of course it does. That's just the risk of doing business, and it's a risk that I'm assuming willingly so that you don't have to. This caveat emptor shit isn't gong to fly, not on my watch; I might be a dick, but I'm not an asshole.

So why am I doing this?

Why am I doing this? There are plenty of other ways to make money as an editor over the internet. Why would I open the flood gates here on Steemit? The answer is more complex than you think.

Right now, Steemit is still in its early stages. This is something people tend to forget very easily right now, but let's be honest: the platform is super-new. Look in the top left corner of your browser page. What do you see?

That's right, we're still technically in beta. The full release version of Steemit is still so far off that there's no telling what things are going to look like when we get there. When I started back in July, the Follow button didn't even work yet and ideas like resteeming other people's posts or selecting whether you wanted to get your payout exclusively in STEEM POWER were just back-burner ideas being kicked around by the developers. That's only three months. By January, who knows how many more features we'll have, and how the core user experience is going to change?

Yeah but what the hell does that have to do with anything?

Settle down there, Sparky - I'm about to tell you. Because Steemit is still very much in its development phase right now, we have an opportunity to help mold it into the place we want it to be. For me, that means two things:

• Promoting a base level of quality when it comes to posts
• Providing internal help in reaching that base level symbiotically

This endeavor isn't wholly altruistic; neither is it completely selfish. Instead, it's the true definition of symbiosis.

sym·bi·o·sis

/simbīˈōsəs,ˌsimbēˈōsəs/
noun BIOLOGY
interaction between two different organisms living in close physical association, typically to the advantage of both.

• a mutually beneficial relationship between different people or groups.

There it is right there. A mutually beneficial relationship. By stepping up to offer my expertise, I can improve the quality of other people's posts objectively - spelling, grammar, punctuation - and subjectively - style, flow, readability. Not only will this improve the overall quality of content on Steemit, but it may just help a post maximize its ability to generate rewards. And that's what I'm betting on.

How this is going to work

There are a couple of different ways to get into contact with me if you want to avail yourself of my services. I'd be happy to talk to you anytime if you have more questions. You can:

• leave a message for me here on this post, or any of my others
• find me on Steemit.chat (@beowulfoflegend)
• email me at [email protected]

Once we agree to work together, simply provide me with a file of the post you would like me to proofread/edit. I can handle several file formats (.txt, .rtf, .doc or .docx, .odt); a link to a cloud-based document (Google Docs, etc) is also just fine.

What I can do for you - and what I can't

Here's what you can expect if you take me up on this offer:

• a flat fee of 5 SBD for posts up to and including 1000 words. Longer posts on a sliding scale.
• no grammar or spelling errors. Spelling/grammar conventions will be in US English unless requested otherwise.
• enhanced readability through improvements in flow, style, and tone
• a promise to not alter your content on a substantive level

Here's what I cannot do for you:

• advanced formatting. Italics, boldface, and other simple formatting (hyperlinks, lists, headings and subheadings, etc.) is included.
• image sourcing/hosting services
• a promise that your content will generate rewards

Turnaround Time

In the vast majority of cases you can expect your your fully edited and proofread post back in a matter of two hours or less after I receive it. However, I do request that you provide me 12 hours in total, just in case of calamity on my part - sick three-year-old, malfunctioning computer, zombie apocalypse, what have you. Some things really are out of my control, but I can promise that if there is a zombie apocalypse, I'll get your post back to you in time as long as my ammunition doesn't run out.

Putting my mouth where my money is

I'm serious about making Steemit a better place for everyone. That's why I've instituted the 5 SBD Quality Guarantee™.

However, I'm gonna take it another step in my dedication to the long-term success of Steemit as a platform and as a community - for this post, I've selected to be paid out exclusively in STEEM POWER. Because I'm just that awesome.

See? I told you - awesome.

But that's not all! For a limited time - the next 24 hours - I'm offering you all the promotional price of just 3 SBD per proofread/edit. That's almost half off!

Don't waste another second of your life on trying to figure out if you should be using their, there, or they're in that sentence you're writing. Contact me today, and take your writing to the next level!

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