A lesson i learned from a dream.

in #writing2 years ago

birth.jpg

I'm in a very large room, dark and empty. I'm not on the ground, but suspended in a raised platform. I feel the current of air and hear the vibrations of the metal structure that supports the platform. It's a ramp. I look out and it's a huge ramp. There are kilometers of fall. In the end there is a light. A tunnel. At that moment I guess I'm in a kind of canyon and this thought excites me.

If this is a canyon, what is the projectile?

Oh shit.

I am the projectile. Fuck It's me. It is done. There's no escape. A motorcycle beside me, a ramp in front of me. It's obvious. I am going to jump. It is a great jump. Almost heroic, poetic. It must be one of those things people call "unique experiences", I won't miss it.

There is a movie called "Ghost rider" with Nicolas Cage as protagonist. I love that movie. And that character is an idol, he does something foolhardy that only he can do, he defies death with every jump on a motorcycle! And at that precise moment, in my dream, I feel identified, it is time to challenge death!

So I jump.

I accelerate to the maximum.

Tears run down my face. They are swept away by the wind. They dry on my skin instantly.

The light gets bigger and bigger. I can detail landscapes, clouds, buildings, it's full! Everything is empty in this hole! I can hear how empty it is, silence dominates so much that it stuns me.

The panorama has been reversed, I look back and there is a black point from which I come.
Now I fly. Is incredible. The world is at my feet.
I rather plan.
Actually ... I'm falling ...
Am I falling?...
I'm in free fall!

The world gets bigger, I'm getting closer to it.

I'm going to crash! I'm going to die!
"Going to die"? I can not fly with a motorcycle! I'm already dead!
Why did I jump!? What was I thinking! God! I'm going to die oh God! Help!
I start crying. But nothing changes. I already jumped. I'm already here. I will die but not as long as I fall. While I fall, I am alive. What the fuck should I do?
Or maybe the question should be.
What the fuck are you doing while you fall?

This is how I understood.

Life is a jump.
You are dead.
But not while you fall.


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Maybe it's more like:

Life is scary.

Birth...
Like a projectile launch into
Life...
We are (not dead), rather eternal.
But not until we jump - are we fully aware - conscious.
In the end, after the fall, comes
Death...
Of consciousness return into the unknown.
Eternity...

Through it all joy and fear: tears, laughter, emotion, wonder.

Wonderfull is life. Fearfull are we. Full experience of life only comes after the jump...overcoming/facing of our fears.

(That's a fun dream interpretation. I like to do that for fun too.)

Thank you for the feedback. Your comment reminds of a Vinicious de Moraes quote "Que no sea inmortal, puesto que es llama. Pero que sea infinito mientras dure". (To be not immortal, since it is flame. But to be is infinite while it lasts).

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