I'm in a very large room, dark and empty. I'm not on the ground, but suspended in a raised platform. I feel the current of air and hear the vibrations of the metal structure that supports the platform. It's a ramp. I look out and it's a huge ramp. There are kilometers of fall. In the end there is a light. A tunnel. At that moment I guess I'm in a kind of canyon and this thought excites me.
I am the projectile. Fuck It's me. It is done. There's no escape. A motorcycle beside me, a ramp in front of me. It's obvious. I am going to jump. It is a great jump. Almost heroic, poetic. It must be one of those things people call "unique experiences", I won't miss it.
There is a movie called "Ghost rider" with Nicolas Cage as protagonist. I love that movie. And that character is an idol, he does something foolhardy that only he can do, he defies death with every jump on a motorcycle! And at that precise moment, in my dream, I feel identified, it is time to challenge death!
So I jump.
I accelerate to the maximum.
Tears run down my face. They are swept away by the wind. They dry on my skin instantly.
The light gets bigger and bigger. I can detail landscapes, clouds, buildings, it's full! Everything is empty in this hole! I can hear how empty it is, silence dominates so much that it stuns me.
The panorama has been reversed, I look back and there is a black point from which I come.
Now I fly. Is incredible. The world is at my feet.
I rather plan.
Actually ... I'm falling ...
Am I falling?...
I'm in free fall!
The world gets bigger, I'm getting closer to it.
I'm going to crash! I'm going to die!
"Going to die"? I can not fly with a motorcycle! I'm already dead!
Why did I jump!? What was I thinking! God! I'm going to die oh God! Help!
I start crying. But nothing changes. I already jumped. I'm already here. I will die but not as long as I fall. While I fall, I am alive. What the fuck should I do?
Or maybe the question should be.
What the fuck are you doing while you fall?
This is how I understood.
You are dead.
But not while you fall.