Ulog 7: Complexities Abound ๐Ÿ›๐Ÿฆ‹๐Ÿ‰๐Ÿ

in #ulog โ€ข 6 years ago (edited)

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What is even up!! Guerilla gardening, parenting, healing....

Hi, it's really nice of you to drop by my blog. A few days and ideas have passed since I posted most of the images in this blog. I road blocked myself when I saw most of the pictures had loaded sideways and that I had to sort them out. Sorting out life. Seems to be the theme these days.

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But, the natural life seems so simple. Real life, in contrast is irritatingly complex. Becoming a non-violent person in the midst of healing from immense traumas is seemingly more complicated. My son and I are struggling. We are having a hard time towing the line perse. It's extremely scary to think about where we will go from here. But, the flowers are still beautiful in their struggle to keep going. How will we find our way? The terrifying reality is that maybe for a while my son will have to live with other caregivers as he is not responding to my parenting as i refuse to be coercive and violent in my actions. But, he is used to the violence. And, so am I. How do we navigate and create a new healthy way? Through all this on the other side. Tomorrow we will see a non-violent communication specialist for consultations. A well educated elderly beautiful woman that was among the teachers in my yoga teacher training faculty. Good news is, i know & trust her. And, she's in the know about the basics that surround us. She assures all will be well. And, that is comforting.

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And, there are the vast world issues upon us to boot. These clouds from a few days ago. While many post on fb about the beauty of the clouds, i see genocide. With all the things blatantly demasculinizing our men and boys. Gosh we are navigating precarious times.

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Some soup i brewed for my step-daughter and for us. She was in China doing part of her schooling and came back with nasty virus. Taking care of others always helps me feel better. As a bonus we enjoyed the good food too.

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To cope with life for the majority of the past 16 years I have clung to the 'positive thinking', 'mindful words' which has worked to a point. But, my psychologist is saying my brain is becoming tired. I try to build myself with nutrition, yoga, connection with positive family & friends. But, my true solace is in the garden. When I do this work i feel the most uplifted. The sunshine, and earth are medicine. Since I don't currently have garden space of my own, the little bush is homing my gardrning efforts. Which are going quite well. These are squash plants & peppers. Grown with the same fundamentals as the garden I did with my sister. Perhaps next week i will add some plots of beets, swiss chard and spinach to the mix.

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And, really how to we accomplish meaningful good healing!? In a separated world. Between them, families & friends -- we are all suffering and programmed towards violence for the most part. Here on Steemit I really feel blessed to be virtually connected to numerous people who are striving to live and be different and this keeps me inspired that a better way is dawning. Until then, i will keep with my plants. And, do my best to stay off the meds the doctors are saying are the next resort. They will help us. I am disgusted at that ploy!! We are not suicidal. Nor are we highly functional. But, yet the solution in their eyes will be the pills. Do any of them really know and care who i am!! How do they even accept these methods as ok for themselves!!

Honestly, life just blows my mind at times. It really does! But, nature.... has no worries! The little bush is becoming lush!! The green is so healing. The sounds of the birds divine. Yes, i know.
... it will all be ok ๐Ÿ’œ๐Ÿ›๐Ÿฆ‹

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Sort: ย 

Although my English is very bad... But I feel a lot of positive in your words....
Thank you, my friend. @yogajill

Hey @yagoub! So nice of you to comment. Yes! You understood well! Through the complexities, i am very positive. Love & Light friend! How are you and your community? Where do you live?

It never seems to end, the craziness. We all have it. That is too bad your son may have to move to fininsh his learning. It is difficult when we are so close to them and want so much for them and they have their own ideas that don't match. Youth can be hard to teach because they don't have the experience we do.

I have thought for a long time we need to have a ceremony for your youth to bring them into adulthood. There used to be ceremonies for these types of things. We watched a show called The Ultimate Gift. Might be one for the two of you to watch. It is not a ceremony but a good show none the less. Parenting is one of the hardest jobs out there. As parents we spend hours trying to figure out how to bring these young people to the age of adulthood in a way that they will be great members of our world.

Making the changes you are and trying to healing at the same time is difficult on its own. Now raising teenagers on top of that adds a whole new level. The nice thing is that you are granted a new day every 24 hours to work on the relationship and find something that will work for the two of you.

I find it interesting that your pictures are coming in sideways. Your view has changed. Sometimes while we are working things out our view changes, it maybe temporary or perminant. Life is ever changing. Maybe I am just rambling.

I am also very glad you are able to go through this process with out being on meds. It is a slippery slope being on meds. I also understand some people feel they need it and if that is the case then it is thier path.

Your flowers and garden look amazing. Take care my friend.

I enjoy your insights. Not ramblings to me at all. It's very cool how life situations offer so much symbolism. I think i was over reacting because the moments seemed so challenging at times. Teenagers are a very unique group. I love it actually but WOW! it is a time for lots of self-reflection and healing as a parent of kids in this stage. I know, without a doubt, that I can manage every situation i am presented with. I trust that everything is unfolding in perfect timing. Doesn't make it easy! Or always pretty but things are always changing, that is the constant! I do agree that everyone's path is unique and that meds have their place. I just don't think the psychologist was being cimpassionate in her observation. She's reaching to inject her expertise when i just needed in those moments to be be accepted and seen. There's a higher form of intelligence behind all this and no doubt in my mind the intelligence of my body is connected to it. Through the connection, the process if healing is unfolding. Given the NVC tools I have it will be very interesting to see how our subsequent interactions go. I am tempted to email her. To see how she responds as I confront her about her actions. To know whether or not it is worth continuing to see her or not. Meds for me would be a LAST resort and I am no where near that place. And, I hope that i would have the wisdom to not get to that place either. ๐Ÿ’–๐ŸŒฟ๐ŸŒป

In the heat of a moment things can be so intense. Our children really help us grow. That is the part about parenting that I think is so cool. We are all here to assist each other. You are so right that everything is unfolding in perfect time.

It is important that you confront your psychologist. It is great that you are going to stand up for how you want to be treated. That can be difficult but so very important. We need to let people know what we need. The professionals like a psychologist usually are not used to clients doing that though. They are here to help us how we need to be helped.

Meds are scary these days. I see so many people on meds and then they are taking another med because of a reaction with the first med. It is such a vicious circle. So good that you are choosing the non med path. There are very few people that are truly med free. Personally I would never take any of them. There is always a different way. I know that is part of my path, for people to see it can be done differently because I always choose the path that is the most natural method possible. Sometimes it freaks people out.

ย 6 years agoย (edited)

realy that's great..

Hi @sarmin42, nice of you to comment. It would be better to add more detail to your remark. Do you know what that means?

Healing is feeling, love. What would happen if you invited the pain of your sixteen years of trauma to totally take you over? I write a lot about this here on Steemit. ๐Ÿ™

Hi @brightstar, nice of you to stop by and comment. It's a pleasure to meet you! I find reliving pain/ trauma too traumatizing. I am retraining my brain and trauma patterns through Mindfulness Communications. I find it very empowering. To me pain is violent and it closes me down. Navigating healing is quite a journey! I also develop my Spiritual health to heal.

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Hi @yogajill. First let me give you a HUGE virtual hug. Then moving on to something I really urge you to try. This 10 minute breathing technique has been a life changer for me and when I read what you have gone through and continue to work though I feel very strongly that it could be of extreme help to you. It is non-religious, more science than you might think even. Do it once a day, day or dusk are the best but any time will do. At dawn and dusk if your lifestyle permits! I don't know how old your son is, and whether him trying too is an option but you at least can become stronger and clearer with it and so help him indirectly if he cannot do it himself. Pease try it, with an open mind and see how you gain strength from it. It has been such a life changer for me, I have practised it for some years now. I won't elaborate now but you could say, it can truly help you realise your dreams and you don't even realise its happening until you realise your brain hasn't started functioning in a different and far more enlightened way.

http://www.ishafoundation.org/Ishakriya

On another note, I had my son taken away from me when he was just a few years old and know first hand the feelings that brought.. too long a tale to get into but all the years after he and I share a great relationship and wrongs have been righted in many ways if not all.
From the sounds of things you have taken back control of your life and have started the healing process, which is obviously long and a little complicated but you have made the start and commitment to improving your life and your children lives. You are a great and gentle warrior Jill. I applaud you sweet lady. Blessings to you and yours. I feel I met you for a reason and this reason is to pass on a little help I know can change your life. LOVE you Jill xxxxx

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