Ulog No. 39: "Once it's out, it's out!"

Whoops... I squeezed the toothpaste tube far too much. I know! I'm only meant to use an estimated pea-sized dab of toothpaste to clean my teeth. Unfortunately, I had no choice but to use that spilled toothpaste because no matter how hard I would try, I could never put that toothpaste back inside that tube.

Literally speaking, once it's out of the tube, it's out of the tube!

That statement can also mean something else. Did you know that it is an idiomatic expression that was popularised when the White House tapes in connection with the Watergate Scandal were released back in the 70's? The tapes contained conversations of the White House Chief of Staff H.R. Haldeman with Presidential Counsel John Dean. Haldeman was trying to persuade Dean not to testify to the Senate, and said, "Once the toothpaste is out of the tube, it's going to be very hard to get it back in."

Another expression that comes to mind is "you can't unring the bell." Once the bell has been rung, it can never be unheard. When something has been said and done, it can never be unsaid and undone. We can no longer rewind and take back all the stupid things we have said. We don't live in a world where we are free from hurt and damage once things have been said.

The statement "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me" is quite impossible (unless we're too thick and we don't really get what the other person is saying). I think if we say this to someone, we are only saying it to mask what we are actually feeling and we're just trying to put a brave face on, but the truth is, words do break our spirit and may take so many years of pain and so many years of processing to heal.

A lot of people have a way in which they mess up with their words. They use social media to attack another person. Just like the toothpaste analogy, once it's out on social media, even if they delete their post, the message has already been read by many people and it will have made these people pass judgment on the person who was subject of that tirade and public shaming.

How about we just stop and think? We have the choice to "click send or click post" or "click x out of the page" because we have to realise that once it's out there, it's out there.

Now, let me get onto the spiritual impact of my little rant moments:

What this proverb means is that when we say hurtful things to other people, we should not just shrug it off and pretend that it's nothing, as if it's not a big deal. We have to think about it and feel sorry and remorse for this action because our words do matter!

Matthew 7:12 says,

"So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets."

This verse reminds us of how we should conduct ourselves towards others. Everything that we do should be something that we would not worry about having done or tossed back at us. I'm sure we all are not keen on having harsh words or us being put on the spot on social media boomeranging back, right? So it's best not to do them in the first place.

Because we do know how our words can be hurtful. It's not difficult to see that. We just need to reflect on the things that we have said to another person and how it would have affected us if the same words have said to us. What is actually more difficult is to stop saying hurtful things back. It takes wisdom and discernment to pause and then decide not to engage in hurtful diatribes. What's also hard is to forgive people when they've said those hurtful and stupid words to us. But none of us is perfect. We all have said something carelessly and hurt someone before, perhaps even just recently.

"So, if you haven't already, ask God for forgiveness, then go to that person and apologise."

It takes humility and knowledge of God's compassion, grace, and unconditional love for us to be able to march back to that person and say sorry for the hurtful words that we have said and for the unpleasant things that we have done.

Have you ever said or done something that you regretted? Or have you almost done something that you knew you'd regret so you just exercised self-control instead?

I hope this post has given you valuable insights. Remember, your actions and words do matter! If you have any comment or feedback, please reply in the comment section below. Thank you for reading and bye for now!

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