Rewarding someone for their time

in time •  14 days ago

I stumbled upon this video today which I found explained really well about a certain scenario in the dating world. This might be something that refers to American culture more than European, but I'm sure its not completely excluded. A person in the audience asks the speaker at what point in time during dating should the woman start paying for her part of dinner. The way she phrased the question and the timeline she had in mind made me as baffled as the speaker, but I really liked his response and it reminded me of an aspect here on Steem as well that I wanted to talk about.

Here is the video, taken from the speakers youtube channel, Matthew Hussey.

My time is worth more than yours so you should pay for it. I wonder what paradigm that sets up?

I'm sure this is something that many of you have been familiar with at some point in your life. There is often a sense of entitlement that grows from one side of the relationship and they get used to having the other pay and take it for granted.

I'm not really the dating expert myself and I believe the speaker nailed it pretty well, but there is one thing I've noticed on the platform that bugs me from time to time that I wanted to discuss.


When I write posts, I often try my best to read through most of the comments. I see this as people taking time out of their day and browsing experience to go ahead and comment on a post of mine, share their thoughts, raise interactivity and discussion and most importantly prove to me that they have read the post. Not only does this filter them from the users trying to spam in hopes for rewards, but it also sets an example to many other commentators that this is how things should be and that they should adapt if they want to possibly earn rewards, else they will have just wasted their own time and that of the person who has written the post who has to read the comment that is completely unrelated to it.

Similar to in the video, if you're Steem Power isn't that high or your voting power is depleted. It doesn't matter if you aren't able to reward all comments as much as you'd like, its the gesture that's most important. Replying to comments and continuing the discussion leads to a healthy post, platform and userbase in my opinion. Not only is it in your own interest that the post gets a lot of interactivity since there might be an algorithm that determines it being "hot" or "trending" on some platforms due to it (not sure if that has any effect on Steemit yet) but it also shows that you aren't just taking your followers and commentators for granted. There are many authors I stumble on daily who come in, write their post and just leave for the day never to return to the countless of people commentating on it. It shows that they either don't care, only care about the rewards or really don't bother cause they think much higher of themselves than the users commentating.

Of course there is a difference from author to author, many might be posting content on many different sites at the same time or really are that busy that they can't reply to all the comments. Reading doesn't take as much time though, and the gesture of even rewarding someone with 0.01 $D goes a much longer way than completely ignoring most. Especially on this revolutionary platform that makes it possible to reward your followers and commentators with monetary value. Showing them that you've read and appreciated their input is very important, not only for their Steemit experience but also for your own since it won't discourage them from posting on content in the future again.

There are of course exceptions, if you write a killer post that gets hundreds of lengthy comments on it, no one will be get annoyed at you not being able to get to all of them. If its something that continuously remains the same way though, you as a commentator should not encourage that kind of behavior and move on cause that author might not appreciate it in the same way as others do and especially on a social media platform it shouldn't be accepted.


Thanks for reading, as always I really appreciate your discussions and comments to my posts, even if interaction might not interfere with trending algorithms here yet. :)

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Your gesture in this post was spot on. This is how I live my life and what I look for in others. I'm hopeful that others who respect your platform and contributions can learn from this. This is the exact type of material I wish some in the upper ranks could be reminded of because a good portion of Steemians below seem to inherently behave this way (teammates), so let's have this mindset continue to surge upward. It doesn't feel great to be publicly mocked for a small upvote not being worth their time, but what else can we do??

Thank you. Take my full contribution!

Hello @acidyo

Hows it going? I really like the video you posted, can totally relate to it. In fact I haven't dated in four years. Partly due to some of the stuff talked about in the video.

That being said, I hole heartly agree with your assessment on steemit so far. One of the main reasons I became so interested in the platform was because of the idea that followers could be rewarded for being an active and thoughtful participant. Coming from YouTube and other platforms, you don't get that opportunity. One thing I miss most about YouTube was the community aspect, sure its still there, but it used to be more open and now its more exclusive. Steemit is amazing and I hope it continues to grow in a positive way.

Yeah, Everyone's Time is very important! If someone is writing a post in 15 minutes, maybe 30 or more. So obviously wants feedback from the readers and he wants to know how the readers think about what he has posted. And A good writer always gives value to his reader because they give their value able time to read and comment the post and he tries to create interaction between himself and the readers. And the money does not matter for this kind of writers, especially on steemit.
But unfortunately, Steemit has become money making platform most of the people are here to just earn money For example as you told people who have less steem power make spamming comments to earn easy money and the people with high steem power post, upvote himself and come back after two days they do not care about other they just care about money. So we just need to change this trend. And should give value to each other so that steemit can be better paltform every one

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Thankfully the distribution of Steem is still ongoing and the better users can reward it among those they feel deserve it to change the platform for the better!

Thanks for your comment.

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My Pleasure Sir!

So I just joined steemit yesterday and I spend the whole afternoon proudly writing my very first post. I expected my post would disappear into the many posts that are published every day. But I wake up today to people really engaging with my story, even people taking the time to tell their story in a comment, insane! And eventho I "only" made a dollar, I feel like it's my proudest earned dollar of my life! It just warms my heart people on this platform are honestly engaged.
So yes I totally agree with you: "its the gesture that's most important".
And of course they will be free-riders who are just in it for the money, they always are... But don't we have the power on this platform to identify these free-riders and make them worth nothing?

great post, great comparison!

Nice article. It runs parallel to something I've been doing as a newb on Stemit: using comments as a way to meet others and advance conversations. I've actually gotten more Steem rewards from my comments than my posts. LOL. Oh well, I gotta figure out more popular topics I guess.

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@terenceplizga I am glad you are on STEEMIT and I know that your Content will get valuable feedback and UP Votes.

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Hey @stokjockey, thanks for the encouragement! I really appreciate that. :)

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This was the case for me too for a good few months. Don't worry you are doing it right and it's a promising sign!

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Thanks, @abh12345. Very kind of you. :)

I don't know what kind of people just ignore people when they are tried to be reached on their posts, because whenever I get comments from from any, new or old friends, I always get excited. Sure, posting and just earning the rewards is a one way to go but doesn't that get a bit lonely after a while?

I always feel compelled when I've been read instead of me talking only to the wall on a block in the chain.

PS. giving a tip for a comment is an excellent way to show it has been read if one doesn't know how to/doesn't have time for an answer. I've done similar thing also; Letting the commenter know he has been noticed goes much further than leaving one in uncertainty.

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Fully agree with the last point, although I still try to go back later and add a small comment too!

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Sure, commenting is always the best!

The speaker totally nails it. I would never expect to pay for it all the time or even more than half!

The contents thing is something that has always bugged me slightly. You see that exact scenario, someone comes on, posts and leaves. They are just wanting the rewards. They forget about the engagement, the social aspect of it all and it does take their voters for granted. You can't visit the blogs of everyone who comments but you can respond to allow that you have read and appreciate their input.

Engagement is key , if people don't express their thoughts or views about your idea then what's really the point ? I see it happen here all the time , the posts in the trending page , the author barely replies to their comments

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I've shamed authors for that recently, probably my biggest dislike is a total lack of a response to comments on a high payout post.

Its not gaming the system that hacks me off, it's disrespect and laziness!

@acidyo you just wrote a posting that is exactly the way I feel about people on STEEMIT that don't engage with their commenters. I feel BEST when I take the time to engage and reply and UP Vote those that take their time to comment. Consistency rewards those who engage..............

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I agree with you sir. And I think everyone will agree on that statement.. this is also migjt be the reason that I upvoted this comment like robert did. :) jk

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@janver06 and I Thank You for voting also for seeing how important that it is to be active with people that support your commentary......

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I try to order each comment on my post by power of upvote.

It's almost like a game, until someone comes along and self-votes themselves to the top!

I completely agree with you. Be it 0.01 upvotes or a small comment it definitely counts. People that can realize that will build a solid foundation of followers. Being a huge Whale does not matter if there is no small fish keeping the ecosystem going that's why everyone on Steemit is important.

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Hopefully they do get comments figured into the algorithms soon- a lot of minnows can't afford the vote, as it lowers their VP% too much, but put the effort into commenting. It also would encourage the rest of the community to do more to reply to comments- the more interaction, the more people come back!

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I would suggest minnows under 500 SP to use another interface which allows the slider. But yes, more important is a healthy comment on my blogs (and @acidyo's for sure!)

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Which interface allows for a slider?

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eSteem the phone app, and I think chainbb does also. And I think busy.org have a setting for it now too. So it's only here where it's not available under 500SP.

I think a big part of blogging is the networking and interaction with felllow bloggers. I don't get that many comments but I always make sure I respond to them, basic manners right? The exception is if they're asking for follow back 😠

Back to the video, I've been pretty annoyed in the past at work for not getting paid the same as male colleagues doing the same work, so equality applies both ways including dating and who pays. Having said that, if someone offers to buy me dinner, I'm not going to say no!

give comment that fit with the post, so they should also read the post not just comment without reading! So that post owners also like comments from others , I agree with you sir! @acidyo

I just found your Steem account and been looking at some of your posts. What a breath of fresh air!
Quality posts bro! Keep it up!

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Thank you.

Anomadsoul told me about this post and here I am thinking about your words @acidyo.
I'm here since September and still trying to figure out if this strange animal called steemit is "authentic" or it's just a sort of a financial game to hack. Maybe both the things. I think honestly that the economical side can result in both a boost to the platform, differentiating it from many others, and at the same time may pollute the normal social interactions. I think that many comments here are given just in order to captivate the friendship of a whale, independently from how interesting a content may be. I don't know.. I can just say that, controversial as it is, I'm not leaving this platform easily and I feel it's worth to grow inside, till there will be people like the OCD team that show dedication and most of all true CARE for people giving their time and - why not - their soul to communicate something valuable. I totally agree with the video...It's sad that we need to see a video or someone telling to a bunch of women such a thing. Certain things should be spontaneous IMHO. Keep up the good work in giving steemit a soul :-)

Good Post

I think this is a great attitude towards comments and people willing to engage with one's content. Still, as a person that comments a lot, I by no means expect the author to reply or upvote my comments every time much like they can't expect me to upvote each of their posts or comment on everything.

success for you @acidyo, I like posting about steem.

this is one of the best post you can read today @acidyo ....
thanks for sharing

I like how you write and your way of thinking. Have a nice day!

Good article and nice pics,,What a breath of fresh air,,,,,
thanks for sharing.......///////////...........///////////.//./././

This is a great,
I upvoted you as a witness :) good luck!

Steemit has a huge population of soft male participants. Soft on the inside like a rotten pumpkin.

@acidyo, you're touching on something important here that does not get much air time around here, even when people write about curation... which is being a good curator of YOUR OWN content.

Now, I'll preface this by saying that I'm old, so I cut my web teeth on early BBS systems and old fashioned message boards where-- when you started a post or asked a question-- it was simply good etiquette to come back and reply to people and acknowledge their interaction with your content. Here on Steemit we have reached the next level and can throw a few (or many) pennies in people's tip jars.

One of the most memorable posts I have read in my time here was from a few months back where @stellabelle described Steemit as a "gift economy." It resonated with me then, and it resonates with me now. By extension, it seems to me that Steemit will always have "issues" as long a people keep focusing more on getting than on giving.

And yes, it's the gesture that matters. It costs very little (especially is you're a "manual" curator, as I am) to leave a small upvote on comments.

I don't know what kind of people just ignore people when they are tried to be reached on their posts, because never I get comments from from any, new or old friends I always get excite

The best expression of love is time. And I’m pretty sure, this community has a lot of love to offer.

I can say that this platform is the greatest so far. The person giving their upvotes and comments would actually mean the best in your post. And that’s how I see the value in this revolutionary Steem blockchain, they know how to appreciate. We can’t deny the fact that for some, they’re here for the rewards and earnings, but as time goes by, they’ll later realize that by posting a great content, it’s really what matters in this community and for your audience taking time to read the effort and time you exerted.

Thank you for this wonderful piece and for the time you shared in this post. 🙌

Nice video @acidyo


Who should pay on the dates ?


I like to comment on the posts more than writing artical.
And also i get paid more than my artical on the comments.
Because i am a newbie at steemit.
For getting noticed in comments we should write valueable comments and related to the author post.
Not every author have time to reply their post comments that's why they pick the good comments to reply ,to save time.

Good points in your post. I need to step back and remind myself these things every so often....Thanks for the post

Thanks for watching a good video. The video has got a lot to learn.

I feel motivated to return in someone blog if he answer to me or give me an upvote. It's not about the money most of the time, since a lot of times it's a 0.01 upvote. As you said it's the gesture that makes it attracitve

I see vidio and see well, if I think it is amazing, audience very much, support you so an aspect, if I think that's right, @acidyo so who tebaik in steem, I have read the story of his @acidyo extraordinary could be the best, I really like your style.

I have been doing this for a while as like you said, it is taking someone's time for granted not to acknowledge them. Sometimes it is difficult to answer all comments with the thought and depth as it deserves though.

If I run out of time to comment I try to always read and upvote appropriately as a 'read receipt'

The other thing I would like to see more of is discussion between repliers as I think it adds a lot of value to conversation plus, it helps various posters find each other and connect. This is one of the most effective ways to network within the site.

I do liked the way you said about the comment section and it is indeed true and for the facts thanks to that and will try to follow as much as possible!

Nice article.I feel motivated to return in someone blog if he answer to me or give me an upvote. Thank you. Take my full contribution!

Time is money but money can't buy time. I think and live my life to respected everybody's time in the same way, there is nobody who's time is more important then the time of others.
Time is extremely important in our life, it helps us to organize and structure our daily activities. No one can escape the passing of time. We all are subjected to aging and mortality. Time plays an important role in our lives. One can gain experience and develop skills over time, time also helps to heal things whether external wounds or feelings. Time is the ultimate measure. Activities when performed on time will be fruitful and results will be great.

Though time has no beginning and no end either. But we are able to measure it as years, months, days, hours, minutes and seconds. We also have words like past, present and future, all associated to time. Time flows, it keeps on moving. What was yesterday, is not today. What is today will not be tomorrow. One has to strike the iron when it is hot. If you waste time, it wastes you.
So we have to respect our time and the time of others.

LOVE&LIGHT

Great video and great insights. I completely agree with what you are saying. I think that the comments on Steemit are one of the best parts. They create a sense of community and they encourage writers/ content creators to keep going. I would rather people tell me that I'm full of shit then say nothing at all. At least that creates a conversation.

Excellent post. Gestures are important in all facets of life. On Steemit it is just as important as if you were on a date. Everyone's time and effort are important and should be treated thusly. This is how you build a following. Not by being a jerk.

I know we are in the 21st-century and I am still a little bit old-fashioned but I have learned that the man should always be in charge and always pay for dinner. but I do not take anything for granted. In regards of filtering users out I believe Many do not even read the post completely they just try to get over skimming through certain words like you say just to get a reward . To me it's important to get to know the author that took the time to write the post. I understand there are many different types of post that we can comment on and learn from what they are writing about on their poste , I believe that I give credit where credit is due I have never discourage anyone when I comment on a post I always try to be positive. This post was very informative thank you for sharing
you have my upvote plus a resteem
@mannyfig1956

In my opinion, it should be opposite, because he earns more as his time is worth more 😁

Really valuable article bro, thanks for sharing!

good post

Interesting Information @acidyo

have been doing this for a while as like you said, it is taking someone's time for granted not to acknowledge them. Sometimes it is difficult to do.

have a nice day @acidyo .... nice video. loving to your blog.
upvoted

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Ironic...

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Ahahahahahah :) you nailed it robert31

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You can move down this kind of comments by just Flagging him with Little Power!