Why does the Song "Butterfly Kisses" Mean so much to Me?

I found the song "Butterfly Kisses" by Bob Carlisle incredibly beautiful. In fact, when I started blogging again, and this time on #Steemit, one of my first blogs was about

Finding Solace in "Butterfly Kisses". I have never stopped loving this song since the first time I listened to it.

When I first heard "Butterfly Kisses", I thought about my father right away. I mean, this is obviously a father-daughter song, and from the moment I started to like this song, especially the lyrics, I began dreaming about having a very exquisite wedding, of course, with a wedding singer performing “Butterfly Kisses” while Papa was walking me down the aisle –

looking all the more handsome with his elegant tuxedo – and no matter how much that would cost, he would be there at my own wedding. The perplexing part is, that time when I was having all these thoughts in my head, I didn’t even have a boyfriend yet, but I was already envisaging this wonderful moment to happen in my life (well, I’d say, a girl doesn’t need to have a boyfriend just so she'd be able to imagine all these ideal weddings and stuff – it’s every girl’s dream, anyway).

Every time I would sing this song, or just would listen to it, I'd always find myself in tears or crying my heart out. Even prior to my father’s death, I remember that I would be missing him as if I had been missing him my whole life. It's as if I hadn’t seen him for a long time; as if he was already far away, that there was no way I could ever reach him again.

I really did miss him so much that even though I was not used to saying "I love you" to my father, I called him once on his mobile phone back in July 2001 just to tell him that I loved him (though I was a bit discomfited to say the words). He told me that he was going to find a way on how he could take us away from that staggering perdition we were living in at that time. He said we didn’t have to worry; we just had to sacrifice a little bit more, and it would not take a while before we could be together again.

Anyway, I will not elaborate further the rest of whatever happened after that phone call (the last phone conversation I’ve had with my father). What I would really like to talk about is this song “Butterfly Kisses” and how it touched my heart, because this song for me is both deeply poignant and heartbreaking, too.

After the first time I listened to it and absorbed its message, I was intensely moved thereupon, and I cried spontaneously. Then I wondered if Papa also had the same thoughts like the singer/composer had of his daughter. Perhaps, he did have, that at one point in his life, Papa also had his own “Butterfly” memories with those special little girls in his life – that’s me and my sister @sarahdandridge. If only he just had the chance to listen to this beautiful song, he’d be able to read our reflections and see the exceptional relationship he had with me and @sarahdandridge that was portrayed in the song, in a way we could all identify with. But even though he hadn’t been able to know the song, I am absolutely certain that we were very special to his heart, that when it would be time for him to “finally give me or @sarahdandridge away,” he would surely burst into tears because of the feeling that he would soon lose his precious baby girl.

But he never lost us. It’s quite the reverse actually. It’s him we've lost. However, the song still bears this extraordinary magnitude in me, a remarkable significance that in one way or another, it became a part of my life no matter what direction my life would turn to. I know that my dream was over - he could not be in my wedding, obviously. He did not walk me down the aisle. I did not see him in his best stature wearing the most expensive suit I would have bought for him. I did not see him cry because he had to give me away. I will no longer see him how he is going to take care and love my kids (if ever there will be, in the future). And I will not see him go through old age. He died at age 47.

I know all these thoughts will just linger and remain in the haze of reverie. That’s how this song will always complete me and help me with holding onto these great memories I had with my father – that once in my dejected life, I’ve learned to catch the star that made me wish for something magnificent or radiant, such a wedding there could be.

Right now, I truly miss him. I still miss him every day. I still think about all these thoughts I used to believe and hope for when I was just a little girl. But now they are just fantasies and they will remain that way forevermore.

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Google image source labeled for reuse
Butterfly Kisses YouTube Video

Read my other posts:
To Papa With Love
My Spiritual Journey: Road to Discipleship

Read @sarahdandridge's post:
My Father, the Leader of the Unbreakable Peanuts Gang

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