My Father, the Leader of the unbreakable Peanuts Gang - (@teardrops)

• Perseverance
• "Education is the only thing I can pass on to all of you."
• Positivity
• God is good, all the time!
• Nothing is impossible with God
• Jehovah Jireh - God is our Provider!
• Shepherd of My Soul

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Those were just the few things over a hundreds of others that would always sink in my mind when I thought of Papa (my father), as he would often share with me and my siblings their relevance in our lives back then; the latter was the first guitar piece he taught me.

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I had lots of precious memories of my father. When I was in grade school, he would always drop me and my siblings off to school using his bicycle (or push bike), two at a time, before he'd go to work. He'd do this each day so he could save money and not have to pay for tricycle fare in the morning and he'd give us extra money instead for fare back home. Many times he'd sacrifice and just walk home from his work place. And at night, I can still remember vividly how it felt like to serve my father in return for his great love for all of us. We had our turns on who's going to take his shoes and socks off and put his slippers on; serve his dinner and make coffee for him. We were all happy doing these things and all others for Papa, the reason why we didn't feel incomplete despite our mother's absence. Then after Papa had his dinner and few chats with us, he would also take us out to buy either Fita biscuit or garlic peanuts in Blumentritt, Manila for our little snack before bedtime. He would take us on a bike ride to buy knick knacks and snacks, but it's scheduled who's going with him each night.

It was why he bought us a large poster of Charlie Brown, Snoopy and The Peanuts Gang cartoon because of our love for peanuts, and each one of us kind of resembles some of the Peanut Gang's characters. The picture below is the exact image that my dad picked.

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However, not "everyday is a happy day" for us. There were a lot of times we experienced having nothing to eat but we still managed to be grateful and learnt to share with each other what ever we only had at those moments. Lucky Me noodles, Blue Bay Tuna, Ligo sardines were one of our favorite dishes, and tuna being the best choice for our packed lunch in school. He'd make sure all of his children ate. I remember Papa would often say he was on prayer fasting, but it's because there was no food left for him. Despite living in a below average comfortable life before, we still got excellent grades at school, and in fact, we're always one of the top performers in our class.

My siblings and I, of course, were once stubborn towards my dad, as most children are. He would use his belt to give us a good smack on our bottom as a form of discipline if he caught us still playing outside our house. But never did we get mad and felt abused by him because we certainly understood his house rules. We're also one of those kids who didn't want to sleep early at night. So, when Papa caught us still awake or would hear any noise coming from our room, he'd go and check on us to see what we're doing. We would pretend sleeping (as if Papa didn't know it lol). It happened a few times that he'd go upstairs and we were in different funny positions each time he'd see us. Haha! One of the silly moments of my childhood! I bet Papa was just secretly laughing at it.

Another unforgettable moment with Papa was when we prepared and performed a short program for him every Christmas. It was like a variety show that we showcased our talents like singing and dancing, or anything we're proud of ourselves and we wanted to show him. It was what we always looked forward to during this season and we're happy to share the food altogether no matter what food Papa prepared, even just a ginataang halo-halo. He raised us being content on what we had, the fact that there are a lot of people who had none and not being able to celebrate any occasion like we do.

Some other precious memories of him were going to church every Sunday even when I felt lazy at times; spending a quality time at Luneta Park playing badminton and having small picnic together; asking my dad..

"Who among us you love the most?",

which he would always say...

"Of course, I love you all equally.";

having serious conversations and discussions about the Bible and I often used to think and hope that when rapture would happen, I would want my father to be by my side, as I thought rapture was kind of scary when I was young.

And since Papa felt we needed a mother figure, he then, looked for one to be our stepmom. Consequently, they had twin daughters whom we dearly loved. Their relationship seemed fine at the beginning until uncertainties set in. My stepmom would always nag my dad but Papa would just stay calm and never said or did anything bad against her. And because of our love for Papa, we would always defend him from her to the point, the used to be a "joyful" home, became a chaotic one. When my two older siblings and I couldn't handle it anymore, we left home and decided to live with our biological mother, sometime in 1999.

And here comes the devastating, tragic event in my life...

August 18, 2001

This was the very first time that my heart was broken and my life was like shattered into pieces, the day that my first love and the person that I had depended on anything passed away. My father died together with my twin sisters and stepmom in a Manor Hotel tragedy where mostly Born Again Christians died. Those people involved in the fire incident had attended *Don Clower's Ministry* and they were given a free hotel accommodation because the venue was too far from their respective homes.

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My world rapidly collapsed in front of me when I heard the news from my aunt. I had lots of questions in my mind and began having doubts in God, like why He allowed that to happen that night to people who lovingly and faithfully served Him.

But even though his death was the most heart-wrenching moment for me and my siblings, it made us stronger as we got to live our lives on our own. It’s not about if bad things happen to us, it's about how we deal with them, as what the Peanuts Gang is trying to tell us.

Maybe one thing I regret in my life is when I didn't tell my dad how much I love him when he was still alive. Maybe that's why I still cry when ever I think of him.

At some point, I felt a little jealous with people I see they still have their fathers. But, whenever I feel this way, I just pray to God and being honest with Him that I miss my dad soooo much!

So, love your family as long as they're there with you, as long as you breathe. Make them feel how much you love and care for them. Say I love you often, make time with them, because no one knows when it's time for them to leave your world.

Papa's legacy will forever remain in our hearts.

These were Papa's last notes he had written before he was gone:

"Your future has nothing to do with your past. Put your trust in God. Stop being sorry with yourself. Shake it off when trouble comes."

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THANK YOU FOR READING!