My Father.

I know I'm not a kid anymore! I know that.

I know that for a long time.

People are so different... I would never do this to my son, what they did to me.

My Father... my family..

I know my family is not the only family with this same issues.
My God how much I know that!! My family is just an example and result of this sick system we live in.

I love my father, deeply.
But he acts like he doesn't love me.
It hurts me to be near them. I have to love them from the distance.

I always protect my father, and my mother form reality in my life.
He was sick.
He had two pulmonary emboli and one brain surgery because of an aneurysm.
Serious stuff.

But, I then was 20, 25, 30, 35... Years went by.
He gets better, I got worse.

My parents didn't have a clue what happened to me, or to their grandson for that matter.
Only grandson.
Only bits and pieces!

Yes, I always felt I need to protect him. It was enough for me when my mum said: "Don't tell your daddy, it will stress him - unnecessary.."

Does he do the same for me? No.

Nooo. He paid maybe few bills, for electric or whatever that might be... Utility bill. No paid medical care or anything like that.
Ugh, if only he would be man enough and listen.

He didn't have to do it. He chooses to do it.
If he wouldn't have to, he wouldn't do it ;)
Contradictions, right?!
Yes, because we are not in touch. I can only guess.
I have to talk to my father threw soc media...

I didn't care about him because I had to. Because mama told me so!

My parents shouldn't have kids.

Some people should not have kids. Full stop.

Image source:
http://croatiannaiveartinfo.blogspot.com/2011/09/tomo-kralj-tona.html