In or Out?

Artists are born but they must also be made. There’s an undeniable amount of fearlessness, exposure, excruciating work, and focus that go into it...among countless other things that could be seen as sacrifice.

Could be.

But if that’s how you view it, you may not truly be an artist. Or at least you may not be ready to embrace your path with vigor and aplomb.

I was raised by artists who never fully committed to their paths. In fact they often fought against it, opting to be more “practical” and “realistic”. But they also went through periods of rabid creative expression. And for a tiny, forming artist, this was super confusing.

I was told to express myself, be true, discover my artistic calling. I was also told in no uncertain terms that being an artist was an aside, a hobby, something you took out occasionally just for fun. But it was not to be a career. Never should one choose it as a life path.

Being a real artist could only lead to misery and scarifice, madness and suffering.

My mother was born an artist who wanted to be a singing actress. In actuality, she was one. A very talented one at that. She starred in all of her school productions through grade to middle to high...and even in college. She was scouted towards the end of her degree and was offered a Hollywood screen test.

If I close my eyes and focus, I can hear my grandfather discouraging her. I can hear her own internal demons urging her to wake up and get real. They probably told her she wasn’t good enough or pretty enough. They rolled their eyes and asked her who the hell she thought she was...she clearly wasn’t special. And I suspect they warned her of the dismal existence she faced if she had the audacity to get on that plane.

You may wonder how I can conjure such vivid imaginings. The answer is simple but tragic: These were some of the things I was told by my mother any time I started to shine.

I watched my mother suffer in misery. I watched her sacrifice her true self out of fear. I watched her go mad repeatedly. And I watched her leave this earth having exchanged her dreams and desires for material goods which never served her spirit.

So which path is better and which is worse? This is a question only you can answer for yourself. It took me way too long to answer it for myself. But I finally did. And if you’re reading this - if you follow my blog - my choice is no mystery to you.

I believe that life is to short - and too long - not to follow your bliss. And let’s be perfectly honest: there are trade-offs and prices to pay for whatever path you choose. There will always be sacrifices. In or out - either way - you will be giving something up.

My mother sacrificed happiness, fulfillment, and purpose for comfort and security. And I’ll admit I’ve done that at times, too. It’s so seductive in this world to trade your soul for these things. But at the end of the day, I had to heed the call of the artist within.

I’m in, baby. ALL in!

What about you?