Blockchain Memory Project - Journal Entry (4) - Those We've Left Behind

in #story6 years ago (edited)

Every now and then I think about people I was once really close to and wonder how (and sometimes why) so many years and miles have come between us. I'm not just talking about casual acquaintances but people I shared a significant swath of my existence with. Some of them I’m still casually connected to through social media, others I haven’t spoken with in years but the thought of them will occasionally break through the surface and swim a backstroke through my memories.

One of those people was Kevin Gales. Kevin and I had a strong and competitive brotherly bond. We met in 1979 at Fair Avenue Elementary, shortly after the Columbus Public School system was ordered to desegregate by order of the courts. We were eight years old and this is the first time I had to make new friends outside of the immediate neighborhood.

Despite having plenty of schools blocks from our house we were bussed across town into one of the worst areas of the city for fourth and fifth grades. Those first few days of fourth grade my stomach was tied in knots. The bus driver, Mrs. Love (her real name), blasted funk and soul music for the entire twenty minute ride and went extra fast over a certain bump in the road each morning so we’d fly off our seats.

That first day, as the school bus made its way deeper into the heart of the inner city the landscape became more littered and desolate. I didn’t realize it at the time but these years at Fair Avenue school were set to provide me with some of the biggest lessons and richest education of my young life, both inside and outside of the classroom.


Fair Avenue School

One thing I’ve learned since then, if you’re scared as hell then you’d better believe that the source of that fear is going to be your ultimate teacher...if you let it. In fact, I would say the source of your greatest fears is where your most important life lessons are hidden...you should run towards them. Unless your greatest fear is a bear, never ever run towards a bear.

Kevin was every bit as nerdy as I was, this is probably why fate brought us together. We both strived for straight A’s in school, were stick thin, wore thick glasses, and played instruments in band. Each of us had a predisposition for cartooning, playing video games, and Dungeons and Dragons. We became friends quickly, rode bikes on the weekends, we each created our own original comic strips...his was called “Fad” mine was called, “Snibbly” about a fumbling English man and his dog.


One of my "masterpieces" from 1984.

During summer vacation Kevin and I would occasionally ride the city bus to downtown Columbus to a magic and joke shop called Yankee Trader then we would grab lunch at McDonalds then make a game out of seeing which tall skyscrapers we could ride the elevators to the top of. This was in the days before militarized corporate security. Most often if we asked security for permission, they would just tell us to go ahead. Sadly, I don’t have any pictures of us from those early days.


"Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down." - Oprah Winfrey


We stayed close until around our sophomore year of high school. This was when our neighborhood fell into rapid decline. Kevin focused on his studies so he could get into a good college. I went the other route, focusing eighty percent of my attention on girls, and tried to change my entire personna to be popular and not get excluded for being a nerd anymore.

The summer before tenth grade I ditched the thick glasses for contacts, started working out two hours per day and eating enough to feed an army. By the time tenth grade began my weight jumped from 140 lbs to 170 lbs (eventually topping out at 230 lbs in 11th grade).

People who hadn’t seen me over the summer didn’t recognize me those first few days of school. I eventually quit marching band and stopped trying to excel in my studies. I started making a whole new group of friends and gravitating away from my old ones. This ended up being one of the biggest regrets of my life.

After high school we Kevin and I completely lost touch, although I always wondered how he was getting along. About seven years ago, through the magic of the internet, we reconnected. Kevin went on to earn several degrees and open a very successful marketing firm in Chicago. We exchanged a few emails over the course of a few weeks and for a moment I thought the friendship might be rekindled but it didn't happen.

I don’t often think of where I’d be if I stayed on that strict academic trajectory. The path I chose was oftentimes a whole lot of fun. It taught me its own set of lessons, some of them very difficult ones. I partied with college kids on Ohio State University's campus when I was still in high school. While Kevin was choosing a good college I was cutting class to go joy riding around the neighborhood. After graduation I went to community college and worked a succession of low paying jobs while trying for two decades to launch my writing career.

It was only through sheer luck and over twenty years of perseverance that I eventually found success as a writer. These last few years my life have drastically changed as a result of this newfound success, largely due to Steemit. As more demands are made on my time, I’ve had less time to devote to my circle of friends. Even still, I’ve made it a point to never again leave anyone else behind for the wrong reasons.

After all, the entirety of who we are is made up of not only what we add into our lives but also what (and who) we leave behind.

(Gif sourced from Giphy.com)

Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed these memories.

Yours in the Chain,

Eric


Steemit Blockchain Memory Project Rules of Engagement

  • Share any significant memory you’d like to. Think about things that have shaped who you are or may be unique in some way. Think about memories you’d like your great-great-grandchildren to read about....now write posts about these memories in your Steemit blog.
  • Use proper tags (see below)
  • Share a link to this post in all of your Blockchain Memory Project posts so others can find the rules.
  • Share your posts with your friends and family on external social media outlets (optional but encouraged).

Tag Suggestions

We want your memories to live on forever. We also want those memories to be searchable by those who might be looking for them in the future.

For this reason, I suggest the following tags for your first four - “Story Life Blog BlockchainMemoryProject”.

Your last tag should be very specific to what you’re writing about in your post, something that will help people who are searching for it on the internet.

I'll be sharing memories of my own along the way.

Prizes

Each month I will comb through the posts tagged with “BlockchainMemoryProject” and choose my favorites. The post owners will receive a surprise in their wallets...a portion of a monthly prize of 10 Steem! Note: all rules of engagement must be followed for your post to qualify.

As always, I thank you for reading.

Yours in the Chain,

Eric

Please follow our official Steemit account for the film series @hardfork-series. Did you miss our last post? If so CLICK HERE to read it!

alt text

*I am an American novelist, poet, traveler, and crypto-enthusiast. If you’ve enjoyed my work please sign up for my author newsletter at my website. Newsletter subscribers will receive exclusive updates and special offers and your information will never be sold or shared.
My book on meditation, The Perfect Pause, is priced at $12.99 (paperback) and $4.99 (eBook). Buy the paperback and receive the eBook for free!

Connect with Me

www.ericvancewalton.net

alt text

alt text alt textalt text alt text alt text

Sort:  

Thanks for sharing this part of your life, I too have lost touch with so many. I also wonder where they are. The path you chose is blessing you now. You may have ended up miserable following the academic trail in this life.

Everything exists so you did that too. Lol!

You're welcome, @rebeccabe! You're so right. We walk a particular path for a reason. I'm far more happy now than I would've been if I continued down that path.

I'm surprised Snibbly didn't take off- maybe he will find success on Steemit.

Hey @opheliafu! This strip morphed into something a little more sophisticated (not by much) called, "As Good As It Gets?" and was syndicated for a few years in some regional Midwestern publications. It was so much fun to do.

Snibbly lives on... good to hear.

Your story reminded me of people I've lost since kindergarten. With lost, I mean really lost, like my best friend since we were four years old, who died at the age of 30. She had breast cancer. But also friends who moved to another city or chose a different life (as you did) and friendship died slowly. That is also an advantage of this project. When people write about their youth, you think about your own childhood and think about what has been. It brings back so many memories.

I'm very sorry to hear about the loss of your friend to cancer, @clio. I've lost a few people in my life to disease or accidents and it's not easy. Writing these things down is very therapeutic though. I'm going to go way deeper with future posts. I hope you're having a great week!

I think about those people too. Sometimes it seems like you can reach out to them on Facebook or some other social media platform and reinitiate your friendship but it never goes down that way. Those people have changed, and whether or not we want to believe it, we ourselves have also changed.

Wow that's interesting. I have never heard of people being bussed to a school in a worse area.

It sounds like we went through some similar times growing up. We're probably not that far apart in terms of years. You might have a couple on me.

As for writing, I'm still working on it. It can be tough when my main outlet for feedback is this platform though.

As is clearly evident, lately people just haven't been spending much time here.

I do have a few series I've been working on lately though.

I agree @jeezzle, it's difficult to recapture that moment of friendship. Yeah, the Columbus school system shuffled us around a lot to achieve racial diversity in the schools. I was born in 1971, how about you?

Best of luck on your new series'! This platform is going through some growing pains but I'm confident that when the communities are rolled out it will tighten the focus of the readership and we'll get back to some semblance of the good old days of 2016 when a majority of people actually read posts and left thoughtful comments. I'm getting some of it back with this Blockchain Memory Project. Hope you're having a great week!

Lovely story Eric, I also often think of the people who played such a major part in my life but who I rarely talk to these days. I see them as the era of whoever...or as seasons in our lives. One of my favourite songs of all times is 'Turn turn turn' beautiful words and melody!
I do believe it's all part of life's lessons that makes us cross paths with people, but still weird how one can be so close to someone, see them daily and then they're suddenly gone, for whatever reason! Enjoying all these stories!

Thank you, @lizelle! That's one of my favorite songs actually, there's so much wisdom in it. The way you describe people and life's lessons is a very healthy way to look at it. Some people are only meant to be in your life for a certain amount of time and some stick with us for our entire journey.

So very true! And how lovely when some come back into one's life unexpectedly, some again for a brief moment, some longer and of course as you say those that are there for life!

After I wrote this post yesterday I messaged Kevin on Linkedin and he responded. It was so good to reconnect again after not hearing from him for 6-7 years.

Good concept to share it because we hold onto past memories, all memories because they mean something to us. Whether good or bad, they're a part of us, and a part of the learning experience we carry with us. Of course there are going to be positive and negative effects, depending on the memory.

I like your every article , you are such a good writer , this is also nice memory story, now Kevin and you keep in touch or not ?

Thanks to the project of memory, we can gradually evolve our entire autobiography from the very birth, and who knows who can read this after another, looks at his life differently and wants to change something. Thank you for an interesting project @ericvancewalton

You always share great content and i always enjoy to read your post you are doing great job thanks for shring keep it up

Thank you for the information. I want to buy your book.

Coin Marketplace

STEEM 0.20
TRX 0.13
JST 0.029
BTC 65927.86
ETH 3481.42
USDT 1.00
SBD 2.66