The Allies of Old; Book Two Renewal: Chapter Thirty Four "Letting Go"

Book Cover created in acrylic by the extremely talented @therealpaul

If you have not read the first book of the series, "Reborn", it is advisable you do so before reading "Renewal" or you will be lost. This link will provide you with a series summary as well as all sixty-eight chapters of Reborn

Chapter Thirty-Four

Anna put the phone on the table and shook her head in wonder; Jenna’s abilities were definitely improving. She shrugged into her coat and went out to the patio, settling in one of the white plastic chairs. She pulled a cigarette from the rumpled pack in her pocket and lit it, noting the direction of the breeze as the smoke streamed away from her.

Jared was somewhere in the woods hunting deer, it was the first time he’d left her side in days. The afternoon after their ceremony next to the falls she had brought him into her dad’s room and introduced him as her soul mate. Marty had smiled up at him and said, “Big strong man to keep my baby safe…You’ll be good to her?” Jared had pulled her into his arms and said “I will put her first in all things,” and she could tell it had given her dad a measure of peace. He hadn’t opened his eyes or spoken a word since then and last night Bonnie announced that it wouldn’t be much longer. She’d slept in a chair by his bed and when she woke he was still hanging on, but his breaths were increasingly shallow.

Bonnie was sitting with him at the moment, she had promised to come and fetch her when his time was at hand, insisting that she needed to get something to eat. She didn’t actually, Jared was more than enough sustenance for her, but she did feel the need to come to terms with her dad’s imminent departure from the world.

Tears slid down her cheeks as memories of her life washed over her, memories of a childhood filled with love and laughter. Her eyes slid shut as she recalled the day she’d learned to ride a bike. She was five years old and at the time they didn’t have a great deal of money so her dad had found a bike at a garage sale and spray painted it like a candy cane. It was the most beautiful thing she'd ever seen, she could still remember her excitement.

After the paint had dried he'd taken her to the road where he helped her get on, then held onto the back of it while she pedaled to the gate at the dead end. Back and forth they’d went with him jogging behind her until suddenly she’d heard him shout, “Yeah, you’re doing it!” and realized he had let go.

She’d panicked and taken a bit of a fall, scraping up her knees and hands, and he’d carried her inside and bandaged her up. The next day he’d brought her outside to try it again and she’d been a little scared, asking him not to let go. He’d knelt down on the side of the road, held her hand and said, “Tumbles are a part of life sweetheart and it’s okay to be a little afraid of them. But if you let that fear keep you from trying you’ll miss out on so many wonderful things.”

More had been said, but she recalled those words clearly, remembered mulling them over and making the decision to “get back on the horse”. She’d been filled with determination and that time when he'd let go she’d experienced her first exhilarating taste of freedom and independence as she completed the journey to the gate on her own.

She came slowly back to the present, her face wet, a slight smile on her lips. Her dad had declared that her strength came from her mom but it was he who had first shown her that she possessed it. He thought he was weak because he didn't want to go on living without his wife, but she decided he was wrong. That the vow of two becoming one had been true of her parents and when she died he’d been torn in half. You can’t put back the pieces if the pieces are no longer there.

She heard Bonnie call out for her and knew his time had come. She shouted for Jared and hurried into the house.

“Not long now,” Bonnie told her and she let the woman hug her before starting up the stairs, which suddenly felt like an insurmountable journey. She paused halfway up as a sob escaped her throat, and the only thing that got her to move again was the thought of him being alone.

When she reached the side of his bed she knelt down and gently took his hand. She leaned in and kissed him lightly on the cheek. Her voice hitched as she whispered, "I forgive you." She started to unravel then felt Jared’s strong hand grip her shoulder from behind, giving her the strength to push out, "I love you, give mom a hug for me."

He breathed his last breath and Anna felt his spirit leave him. She glanced up wondering if her mom was there somehow, taking his hand as he went.

Silent tears slid down her face and she leaned back against Jared who remained quiet, giving her this moment.

She let him go. With a shuddery breath she pushed away from the bed and spun toward her mate who lifted her up and held her tightly, murmuring soothingly in her ear as he carried her down the stairs and settled her on the couch.

He left the room for a moment and Anna heard him tell Bonnie that Martin had passed on. The older woman went into a flurry of action making the necessary calls.

The tears continued to fall but she knew that the sorrow was only for herself. Her parents were together again. She conjured a mental image of her mom jumping into her dad’s arms with a shout of joy and laughter. They were young again and she grabbed his hand, racing with him through the wonders of heaven’s wilderness. A place of waterfalls and riverbeds, fields of wildflowers and glorious mountains. Her sadness receded and as the scene continued to play out in her mind a smile spread across her face.

She pulled herself to a sitting position and sent a prayer of thanks to the Vision Giver. Jenna would be there any moment and she was certain her friend would help Bonnie with the funeral arrangements, which was an immense relief. She was not known for her skills in planning on a normal day, let alone this one.

Jared came back in the room and scooped her up, settling her on his lap. She buried her face in the soft dark blue fleece that covered his massive chest, breathing in his scent which she had come to identify with the crisp smell of a wintry forest, and a hint of orange blossom. She absolutely adored the fact that he was so large. Whenever he held her she felt safe from everything, like he was her own personal fortress.

Twenty minutes later Jenna pulled up Anna's driveway, right behind the ambulance. She rushed in the door, eyes wide with panic, and when she got to the living room she stopped short, her mouth dropping open. Anna was wrapped in the arms of what looked to her like some ancient warrior God. He was fucking enormous. And breathtakingly handsome.

A pudgy middle aged woman bustled into the room and snapped her out of it as she introduced herself. “Hello there dear, I'm Bonnie, you must be Jenna, Anna told me you were coming and that you don’t know what has happened.”

Jenna shook her head wordlessly.

“Anna’s father passed away just a short while ago. He had a brain tumor, poor man. He’s gone on to heaven to be with his wife, and that at least is a blessing.” Bonnie tsked and then fluttered from the room saying something about phone calls.

Jenna turned to Anna in open-mouthed shock.

“He wanted to go,” Anna told her shakily, “I had to let him.”

“Oh my God Anna, I’m so sorry!” She rushed over and sat beside them. “How? I mean, when? I mean…what…I just-” she shook her head.

“I know.” Anna smiled faintly. “It’s a lot to take in.”
She outlined the events, telling her about Bonnie’s phone call and how her dad had kept his illness from her.

Jenna shook her head again, looking dazed. Her gaze flitted to Jared then back to Anna. “Are you okay?”

Anna thought about that for a moment and nodded. “I’ll miss him,” she said softly, “but in a way he died years ago, it just took his body a while to figure it out.”

Jenna studied her friend then nodded. She understood that better than most having been with Anna so often over the years since her mother’s death. “Do you want me to call people?”

“Oh God yes, thank you. I think Bonnie is making the funeral arrangements in terms of the times…I told her I didn’t want to have calling hours, so it will just be the funeral itself. Since the ground is frozen the service will be held in the funeral home anyway, and it’s not as if he had a lot of friends. They were all my mom’s and he didn’t keep in touch with them after she died. For me it would be pure misery to have to listen to condolences over and over, to see the pity in their eyes. I know people mean well, but-”

Jenna broke in, “I totally understand. It’s better to be surrounded by the people who really matter. I’ll call the girls and Josh and Au…” she stopped and glanced at the giant whose eyes narrowed a fraction causing her to shrink back. “Yeah, I’ll call the important people.” She got up and hurried from the room.

Anna looked up at her mate. “What did you do?”

“What do you mean?”

“She looked at you and practically ran away.”

He shrugged. “You know people are intimidated by me.”

“Well it might help if you actually spoke once in a while,” she smiled to show she was teasing, although she was starting to worry about it. He turned into stone every time Bonnie was in the room and now Jenna.

“I’m not used to it. You know that.”

She nodded. “Yes, but Jenna’s been one of my closest friends for years, she’s like a sister.”

He brushed a lock of hair from her face. “I gathered that from things you’ve said. I’ll make an effort.”

She studied him, chewing her lip with worry. “It’s because they’re human isn’t it,” she said softly. She had heard him speaking to Mathias on the phone a couple of days ago and he had not been the least bit uncomfortable talking to him.

He took a deep breath, and glanced away. “It will take some time for my feelings to change.” He ran a large finger down the side of her face. “Rationally I know that all of humanity is not at fault for the deaths of my loved ones. In a way I’ve always known that. I just became focused on the less savory traits of mankind, and believe me there’s an overwhelming amount of those,” he laughed shortly. “But there is also you. You may have been altered but from your story I know the essence of you is unchanged, human or vampire you are still Anna. And if there is you then there are others, given time my feelings will change lira mine, don’t worry.”

She moved onto her knees and wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him there. She was glowing with the knowledge that his love for her was big enough to make such changes. “What is the word for love in the old language? Or how would you say I love you?” She asked him.

“Ahh. There is no such word, it’s considered too…large or of too much importance to have a word, instead it’s conveyed in the way that words are said or in gestures. When I call you my lira or ka lira or ka na lei, I say that I love you,just as I say it when I stroke your hair. Do you understand?”

She leaned back to look at him and drew in a breath at the sight of his face, wondering if there would ever be a time that he would cease stunning her. “Yes santyre mine, I understand.”

His lip curved in amusement and he leaned down to say he loved her with his mouth and tongue.

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