Order In The Court!
"Hell is full of high court judges."
- Sting -
Some writing tasks are iffy propositions.
This week, @jayna's 50 word prompt happens to be one of them.
Courtroom calm before the storm...
Image courtesy of Pixabay
Order In The Court!
by Duncan Cary Palmer
Judge Clifton—fiftyish, dignified, bifocals—stifles sniffles.
Prosecutor Jennifer: "Whose spliff?"
Fifteen Goniff Drifters testify; differing, modifying trifles.
Biff—shifty, lowlife grifter—falsifies ramifications, identifying Clifton's wife.
Mortified, beautifully coiffed Tiffany vilifies Biff. "Piffle!"
Horrified Riffraff shift vociferously.
Swiftly lifting his rifle, Sheriff Leif, spiffily uniformed bailiff, pacifies the crowd.
~FIN~
I had fun this week.
This week's prompt is "if," and so I asked myself, "What if?"
What if... I could pack this story with more "ifs" than you can shake a stiff stick at?
My challenge then, which I chose to accept, was to pack as many "ifs" into my story as possible without making it totally unreadable.
And so, as we enter the courtroom, we see mature, normally imperturbable Judge Clifton presiding over a trial attempting to identify the true owner of an incriminating marijuana joint. His wife Tiffany is in the gallery today, expecting Clifton to take her to lunch when the court is in recess.
One by one, Prosecutor Jennifer examines a laundry list of questionable witnesses who were present at the scene of the heinous crime. Like most judicial proceedings, the trial drags on, witness after contradictory witness coming forward to testify, many pointing fingers at one another.
Biff—the prosecution's star witness, being "least worst" of all available unsavory characters—suddenly shocks the courtroom by fingering the Judge's own wife Tiffany as the culprit.
This causes quite a stir in the courtroom gallery. Sheriff Leif, the bailiff, brandishes his shotgun to quell the uproar, and the startled crowd quiets down...
I guess lunch with hubby today is out?
The question this week is this:
How many of the fifty words I used in this story do not contain the word "if?"
Percentage wise,
I think you'll find it is pretty low.😇
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Great tongtwister. Only 6 words escaped this ifferno. :)
Hahahahahahahahaha! Good pun! ;)
I love this!! You have to have fun with the prompts sometimes, but this was fun and very clever too... I count 6 words, please try harder next week, I'm expecting 50/50 😉😉
Hahahahahaha! Not likely, but thanks for the compliment.
Glad you enjoyed this.
Ha ha! I can see that you did indeed have fun with this. Biff, Jennifer, Tiffany and Sheriff Leif probably have no idea how much they actually have in common. If only they knew.
LOL!
You did well my friend on the 50 words challenge as I enjoyed it. I am down on power since HF 20 and will not be restored for at last 3 - 4 days. blessings to you my friend @creatr.
Thanks, Troy.