Strangers in Orbit - Short Fiction

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Gerty Jones was behind the bar setting up the speed well. The counter curved around behind her in a perfect encapsulating circle. She was the mobile center of a station among numerous circular bars on a sprawling service floor. A big boozy intergalactic map of the establishment's location in the universe was her world for the night. Her earpiece chimed.

"Hey folks. This is your master and commander speaking, just letting you know that the shift is now in progress so let's all stay within orbit tonight." He followed with a choked snicker. "Have a stellar shift and show em' some solar flare!"

Gerty surveyed the counter-top that was the threshold of her "orbit." She had to pee. She didn't like peeing in her nano-skin suit; an Earthly habit she still hadn't kicked. The other coworkers had adjusted to wetting themselves with ease. This grossed her out considerably, however, the pee-pee dance was less becoming than ever before.

The overhead lights dimmed and the roaming multi-colored spotlights began. Looped pop music ensued. A booming yet ignorable mixture of glitch hop-bluegrass, weird trap-folk, future bass blues, downtempo-tejano, trance-porchabilly and electro-americana-soul played.

The same ol' crew poured through the doors on cue. Most of them were industrial interplanetary workers. Space rednecks lived and worked hard off-planet to pay rent for their families on Earth. They wore jeans, cowboy hats, buttoned shirts, and boots. Some sported high-tech instruments; field-dilating goggles, stem-injector wrist pieces, and gif-tattoos. Despite the rotation of numerous other planets inhabited by humans and a newly established intergalactic calendar, they were having their Friday night the same as always. Happy hour was alive and well in every bar or restaurant known to man.

Cory, Gerty's orbital neighbor, was already dancing while shaking a drink that hadn't been ordered. Neon lipstick and eye shadow, brown hair, glitter, and curves that were not be ignored worked like a tractor beam on a clump of moseying cowboy hats.

"Ooh wee, this lil' girl is gettin' it!" Said the apparent leader of a group of five.

"Hey y'all ready to have some fun with me tonight!" Cory's smile shined in the black-light.

The group whooped and exchanged glances while Cory laid out five shot glasses in an efficient flourish. She popped the shaker and poured, in one continuous flow, a glowing concoction into each of the five settings. The cocktail changed from lava-hot hues to bright arctic as it settled into chilled glass.

Cory emptied the remaining contents into a shot for herself. Glasses went into the air. The whole group cheered, "WOOOOO!"

Gerty wetted herself and lifted a shot of water. "WOOOOO!"

Cory pointed at Gerty. "WOOOOO!"

The mass of dudes pointed at Gerty. "WOOOOO!"

Everyone drank in celebration of nothing in particular.

Cory shook another. The group and its apparent leader were mingling together. The night was slower than expected.

"Hey, dont'choo not come say hi to me!" Gerty used her threatening voice.

The apparent leader's eyes widened. Gerty responded, "Yeah, I see you Ben Brown!"

Cory and Gerty operated as a team. A crew of men needed more than one female. They would divide the herd up between each other to keep them from wandering into other orbits.

"You gonna leave me for them blondes again?" Cory cocked a hand on her hip.

Ben Brown's head swiveled back to Cory. Gerty's eyes narrowed on him. Cory pushed another shot towards him. Ben hesitated then reached for it.

Gerty vaulted the bar counter. Staying in orbit had never been her strong suit.

"Gimme that!" Gerty drank his shot. Ben stood there. Her arm rested on his shoulder. They both relaxed. "How you doin' sug'. How's your baby?" Her face smoldered with superficial love.

Ben Brown gestured to Cory for two drinks. "He's doin' good. Try'n to walk. He's strong and smart."

Static rackled in Gerty's earpiece. The walls of the service floor shuddered. The lights flickered. There were a few gasps and the room went quiet for a beat. Conversation resumed. Cory's shaker rattled into action.

"What was that?" Gerty looked to Ben.

"Soundin' like y'all got an electrical issue. Sometimes you get tremors like that. Ain't nothin' to be scared about. Bad fuses or some such."

Gerty winced as her ear-piece whined. "Ew, my ear thing is hurtin' my ear." As she reached to remove it a strange sound caught her attention. There was something in the background of the static and the chaos. There was a melody. The brow furrowed. The head nodded gently. It was familiar but she couldn't place it.

"Mmunuh wunumunuh wuhnuh." She mumbled.

"Huh?" Ben asked.

"I'm trying to figure out this song."

"This song?" Ben lifted his drink to his lips and held it there. He didn't sip. Gerty didn't hear the shaker rattling anymore. The roaming spot lights weren't roaming. Ben still hadn't sipped. The ice in his glass glistened and, he wasn't blinking.

"Ben are you OK--" Gerty took in a sharp breath. She surveyed the service floor where nothing and nobody was moving.

The static in her ear died out. Everything was frozen in silence. Cory was leaning on the bar clutching the shaker with both hands. She had a goofy look spread across her face. She had been flirting. The rest of Ben's friends had been laughing at something. Their faces were contorted in glee. 'Is that how I look when I laugh?' Gerty wondered. Everywhere everyone wore a stupid, stationary, expression. An electric guitar ripped into her ear piece at high definition. A sonorous voice weighed in. Drums thumped and, a mean beat was established. She was alarmed, relieved, and excited. 'That's the song!' The front doors hissed open.

Three men strode forward. Their clothing indicated that they were making a conscious effort to resemble space pirates. The one in the center wore a long black coat with a high collar. His hair was dark, curly, and spilled to his shoulders. He had a closely trimmed beard and large noise-cancelling headphones on. He was not unattractive. A larger, but shorter, bearded man ran ahead of the gang. His full and unruly mane flowed in the draft as he bounded between the statue-like patrons of the service floor. He didn't have very many clothes on. Black rubber tubes crisscrossed his very pink and very hairy chest and back.

The one in the long coat spoke, "Mader, dude, chillax. We've got..." He stepped forward and outstretched both hands in a theatrical gesture, "Plenty of time!" He laughed at his own joke. Then he put his hands back down.

Mader glanced back and muttered, "Hashtag balloon burst."

Gerty was standing as still as she possibly could. She had heard of space pirates but, wasn't sure they actually existed until now.

"OK guys, let's do the thing." The man in the long coat motioned and the others moved forward. They drew hand-held devices and started hovering them around people's pockets. Once there was a beep, they moved on to the next person.

'They're going to rob everyone here.' Thought Gerty. 'If I stay still enough hopefully they'll just take the money and go.'

Mader approached Gerty. She held her breath and focused all of her will into not blinking. He was staring hard at her expressionless face. Her arms were at her side. She was noticeably indistinct. Mader leaned in. His nose was inches from hers. He whispered, "Question mark." His breath hit her eyes but, she didn't blink. Then her eyes began to water. Mader recoiled. "Exclamation point!" He yelled.

Gerty grabbed the drink out of Ben Brown's motionless hand and tossed the contents into Mader's face. He grabbed at his eyes and screeched, "hashtag made with real bitters!" She kicked him in the balls, head-butted him, and hip-threw him to the ground. Country people, generally, were scrappy when it came down to it.

Gerty Jones leapt onto the bar top, ran in high-heeled boots around the edge and vaulted onto the floor. She somersaulted to the next circle bar and dove over the counter.

The leader in the long coat watched in awe. "Holy shit." The other two roaming pirates stood dumbfounded as well. "Guys, c'mon. We gotta get her."

Cabo, the shortest and fastest of the three surged forth with newfound determination. He was coming up on the circle bar she had ducked behind, ready for her to pop up. A bottle of grapefruit vodka stuffed with a blazing towel sailed into view. He tucked and rolled. The bottle whiffed by and shattered behind him. Fire spread across the patterned carpet. Everyone, including Gerty, watched in horror.

The man in the long coat appeared next to the sprawling flames and discharged a fire extinguisher. The fire was out. Gerty ducked back down and started readying another Molotov cocktail.

The leader dropped the extinguisher, "No, Jesus, no more! Everyone just stop!"

"Y'all get outta here or I'll light each of you thievin' sons of bitches up!"

"Versus mode," said Mader.

"Mader, shut up. No versus mode. Hey, girl, lady. Ma'am. No one is here to hurt anybody. Nobody needs to be on fire. Cool?"

"How do I know that!"

"Oh my god, lady, we work in the kitchen."

Cabo and Mader glared at the man in the long coat. He sighed.

"What?" Gerty stood up.

"We all work in the kitchen. Here."

Gerty believed them. Her manners kicked in. "Oh, I'm so sorry." She came out from behind the bar. "Are y'all OK?"

"Yeah, no, everything's fine. My name is Lux, by the way."

She knew the name. He was their chef. "I'm Gerty." Gerty moved towards Mader. "I feel terrible, did I hurt you?"

Lux chuckled, "he can take it. He's a big guy." Mader's eyes were red. He stalked away. Cabo followed.

Gerty stood there, unsure what to say. "So, is he some sort of robot person?"

"Who, Mader?"

"Yeah. He speaks, umm, real unusual. Like, punctuation and stuff."

"Oh, yeah. No, he's not. He's a regular guy. I think that's a personal preference thing."

"That's so strange."

"Yeah."

"I feel really bad that I didn't know who you were." She rubbed at the outsides of her arms.

"Ah, don't. It's a big station. We, literally, have never see each other."

"I get lost around here all the time." She confessed.

Lux nodded. "So, this might be a weird thing to ask you but, since the stasis didn't take hold of you, for some, odd, reason. Do you wanna hang out with us?"

"I dunno, I don't think I'm OK with stealing."

"Stealing? Oh no, we don't do that."

"But you look like space pirates."

"We do. That's kind of our own thing. It makes it fun. We were just reprogramming everyone's phone."

"Their phones? Why?"

"It's a program that changes their playlists on their music apps. It changes it to our playlist. It's sort of a prank."

"Really?"

"Yeah, people listen to terrible music now a days."

Gerty smiled. "That's all? That's kind of funny."

"We think so."

They stared at each other. She felt there was something warm about him. He liked her big sky blue eyes.

"You wanna, see my ship? Come aboard? I mean, you can always come back. Get back to your shift when I turn the thing off."

"Sure, I guess."

She boarded the space ship. It was homey. There were eighties and early nineties stuff on the walls; band posters, mostly. Mader and Cabo were drinking beer on a leather couch. There was a coffee table with a bong on it, a dart board, a pool table, a ping-pong table, shuffle board, a flat screen, and a small stage with amps. "We have jam sessions in here sometimes. We take breaks whenever we feel like it."

"Wow, that's kind of awesome. Hi guys." She waved at the two on the sofa.

Mader waved back. Cabo did not. He had almost been on fire.

"Yeah, we like it." Lux continued.

Gerty looked around. She liked the idea of vacations at a moment's notice without taking actual time out of her day. "Does your ship have a name?"

"It does, actually. Cool that you asked. People never ask that."

She smiled. "So, what is it?"

"Oh, sorry, The Danzig."

"And does The Danzig ever go on, like, adventures?"

Mader belched, then said, "Captain Lux relationship status update: from 'single' to 'it's complicated.'"

Lux chose to ignore him. "Hrmm. Ya know, I guess we could. Space exploration, or something. Could be fun."

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