#Freewrite: Too Much Beating (short story)
He stood up again and again, I thought he was the weakest person I fought but it seems I was weaker.
Salam (Peace)
This is my entry for freewrite day 74, Pormpt Callous (which is a new word for me, not sure if I used it right.)... It was inspired by an answer to a question on the website Quora, so the story is half real.
I didn't follow the rules this time, this story took around 15 minute of me instead of only 5 mins. Editing time is included. But it's still a #freewrite as the edits are minimal.
This is my Second #story-300words Attempt
The initiative by @swissclive is a great one, I advice any aspiring writer to write a short story there. My first story was well liked. It was a children story, this one is a bit darker 159 words.
Too Much Beating
Red.. it's all red.
He stood up again, blood flowing from all over his body.
"Why are you still standing?!" I clenched my fist. "You're already bleeding."
"You callous!!" He threw a punch but I easily dodged it. My beating weakened him. "I'll not let you bully anyone again."
"But you know you're going to lose." I punched his face to the ground. "If you stand up again I'll kill you!"
"I'd rather die! Than to stay up and-- Ugh!!"
"Die then!" I kicked his abdomen making him lose conscious.
I looked to the crowd, then turned away. "Get him to the hospital or something."
I realized I was panting.
He was the weakest person I ever fought, But he gave me the most trouble of them all.
I didn't want to be a killer, I just wanted to have fun by beating him.
I thought he was weak. But he made me realize that the weakest was myself.
[The End?]
What do you think?
I love this story so much I might make a cleaner version of it some day. I wrote it from the bully perspective which is something new from me, though I'm not sure I conveyed it right.
Strength is not always in victory! And sometimes, walking away, is in deed strength
It is crisp enough to relay its message, @ahmadmanga.
Yup, in this case strength was the determination, to stand up again and again even though that will lead to his death. I want to write more about the inner mind of the bully. But that's for another day... Thanks for Reading~
The other way of looking at the weakness, that i am insinuating at, is from your perspective, you who won the fight, and yet would say:
That looks an admission of regret, namely that despite wining the bout, you hadn't really found the satisfaction expected from winning. Your final mindset is overall that despite wining, you were actually the weaker.
Walking away, despite his (the loser) persistence to keep the fight on, especially since you knew/saw you were obviously wining the fight, would have , in my opinion been the highest demonstration of strength.
There is probably another angle, but i think this is worth considering. Anyways, that is the beauty of the narrative - leaving many angles!
Never thought of that before (maybe I did but not for this story), this is a very intereseting perspective, thank you.
Yeah, in that regard both of them are mentally strong. A truly weak person will submit to his pride and would only stop after killing the other...
Humans can be so complicated~
The pleasure is mine. Thanks
I struggle to classify this as ‘fiction”. It sounds like the narrative of an event - real or imaginary, more like an entry from your diary, than a story with a plot and an ending (happy ending or otherwise).
I’ll give you a vote for the good quality of your writing. Thanks for participating!
Thanks for your comment.... Many of my stories like that so either I accept them as is or try to make them more story like. I want to write longer version of this with the fight reasons explained & more ending-like ending. But that's for another day.