Sex Drive: Do Women Have More of Id?

in steemstem •  6 months ago

Do_Women_Have_A_Higher_Sex_Drive_X-.jpg

An ad for unbelievably reflective glasses? Or is there a meaning hidden in the reflection?
Source: Janwillembreure w/ CC BY-SA 4.0 license, cropped and avail. under the same license.

Curtain Open

It begun with Do Women Have A Higher Sex Drive? showing up on my "new torrents" feed (which I only follow out of curiosity, obviously). I already had two posts in the making, but this was too intriguing to leave for later. I dove research-first into the topic and left the doc for last, a format I'll follow with this post (series of posts, as it turned out).

I didn't begin with any preconceived notion as to what the answer was: it could go either way.

It didn't, it went quite Pointer-doggedly in one direction and never wavered. As far as the research goes, there isn't really any room for debate at the moment: there is one sex that out-giggidys the other in every metric relevant to sex drive.

A quick note on the importance of differences

Many women like to say that "women and men are equal — but different". Why is being different important? The way I like to put it is this: if women aren't any different from men, then there's no real necessity for women to participate politically and socially — to vote, for example — since their interests will be represented by the men when they vote.

Same can be said about seats in parliaments, juries, and such: if women and men aren't any different, then what does it matter who you put in charge or in a jury? All possible points of view will be fully covered by the men, and in the same proportions. Adding women won't give you different results or points of view, because men and women are the same.

I therefore see the field of sex differences as contributing to equality rather than undermining it. Same goes for the question of whether one sex desires sex more than the other sex (that was oddly phrased, but you get what I mean), to which we now earnestly turn.

Μαλάκα

450px-Nicos_Anastasiades_at_EPP_HQ-.jpg

Which of these two is the malakas? Watch this video for one possible answer.
Source: European People's Party w/ CC BY 2.0 license & MODIS image captured by NASA’s Terra satellite w/ Public Domain license.

In Greece and Cyprus we have a friendly slang form of address: μαλάκα "malaka" (mah-LAH-kah). It's sometimes used just as a greeting when you see someone, like saying "hey man!"

Malaka is indeed used just for men (though there is a rare form μαλάκω (mah-LAH-koh) for women), and it literally means a person who masturbates.[8] It's similar to calling someone a jerkoff or a wanker, the difference being that there's no negative connotations in Greek as long as you use it with your crew/gang. (See wiki for more.)

So don't go around using the word indiscriminately to impress Greeks on your knowledge of their language! (Granted, I may have been guilty, during my uni years, of instructing people who asked me "how do you say 'hello' in Greek?", to say "είσαι μαλάκας" (you are a malaka), and then laughing as I watched them practice their newfound language skills on unsuspecting Greek speakers. But that was then and now I'm a serious person, as this post bears witness.)

Reason I'm mentioning these malakies, is because there might be deeper folk wisdom in the use of the word to refer singly to men than first meets the ear. Consider the following quote, taken from a sex differences metastudy totalling 128,363 participants:

The largest gender difference revealed among the sexual behavior measures was for masturbation incidence.[7]

Yes: when it comes to masturbation, men leave women in the dust (unsettled because of all the huffing and fapping).

We can therefore view the popular Greek greeting word malakas (=masturbator) as densely encapsulated folk wisdom, one that furthermore respects our ancient Greek heritage. After all, Aristotle instructed us to name a thing after its distinguishing feature: the thing that makes it different from everything else, or from the thing it's being juxtaposed to. Since both men and women are already human (anthropos), the logical way to further differentiate between the two would be to name the male after the largest sex difference. The word malakas for "man" would fit such a role perfectly and would make (one assumes) our philosophical forefathers distinctly proud.
(I write this as an elaborate joke, but as I'm reading it again I'm half-convinced by my mock-argument. I'm that good.)

How does masturbation relate to sex drive?

It's rather obvious:

masturbation may be a manifestation of generalized sex drive or libido[7]

May be? Boy these scientists take great pains not to overstate their case. And that's why we trust them! (and love them 💘 )

hadron.jpg

Source: Vicchi w/ CC BY-SA 2.0 license.

"All that's well and good," you say, "but what are the specific numbers?"

They differ depending on the study, but men always pop significantly higher (on the bar charts, I mean). Kinsey, one of the earliest sexual researchers, found that only one third of the women he interviewed had masturbated, and the rest experienced their first arousal as a result of physical-social contact with a male (as opposed to males who can get aroused just visually). A later re-analysis[6] of the Kinsey data found that men experienced their first sexual arousal at age 12 and women at age 26!! (style guides consider the extra exclamation mark redundant, but to me that finding deserves it).

The Kinsey research was from 1929, and you might think sexual repression or outright lying is a better explanation of the findings. True, the differences are less now than they used to be, but they're still significant. In a 1990 study, participants recorded their masturbation frequency over a week. "Approximately 45% of men reported masturbating once or twice a week compared to approximately 15% of women."[3] In an extensive University of Chicago survey from 1994, "approximately 27% of men surveyed reported masturbating at least once a week, compared to approximately 8% of women.[3]

And the authors of a 1986 study[6] outright state that their results don't differ from the Kinsey ones mentioned above, because girls simply date much earlier than they used to, but it's still true (according to their data) that women mostly feel aroused when partnered or dating. So all that's changed really is our sexual precociousness, not the sex differences.

Do women feel guiltier when they masturbate?

www.maxpixel.net-Posture-Cat-Ashamed-Shame-Funny-Redhead-Striped-3602557-.jpg

Someone's very ashamed of what she's doing.
Source: MaxPixel w/ CC0 Public Domain license.

I sense that you are not entirely convinced it's not all just due to social pressure and the differences between how men and women are raised, so here's a couple more data that might sway you.

That females reported a significantly lower incidence of masturbation than did males was especially interesting given the small gender difference revealed for attitudes toward masturbation.[7]

That's right: a key finding that may argue against the interpretation of this masturbation difference as internalized repression or other socialization explanations, is that there was virtually no sex difference in how males and females regarded their sexual feelings. This is mirrored by all research: women don't claim to feel more guilty about their sexual feelings (e.g. masturbation, coitus, spontaneous arousal) than men do (at least not to the point where the difference becomes significant), yet they experience these states "at a fraction of the male rate"[6].

You might say, "women may not feel guiltier, but they may lie anyway, to match what society expects of them".

If the fact that the surveys are anonymous doesn't cut it for you, and you're still worried that women might under-report their masturbatory affairs, don't, 'cause men do it too:

Clark and Tifft used polygraph data to demonstrate that male college undergraduates underreported masturbation to a greater degree than any other sexual behavior (even including homosexual behavior and forced heterosexual intercourse).[10]

It's therefore very likely that the relative sex differences in masturbation frequency are accurate, even if the absolute masturbation frequency reports are not.

Are men encouraged to masturbate?

649px-Lord's_cup_and_Bread-.jpg

"Let us eat, drink, and masturbate." (I may be paraphrasing Ecclesiastes 8:15 just a weenie bit.)
Source: John Snyder & Med Chaos w/ CC BY-SA 3.0 licenses, modified and avail. under the same licenses as the originals.

Another objection might move away from the claim of negatively reinforcing female masturbation and more toward the claim of positively reinforcing male masturbation. In other words, perhaps men are more encouraged to masturbate.

As a person who has grown up with urban-legend-type warnings that masturbators will grow hair on their palms, will go blind, or will fail to grow in stature — and who is aware of no equivalent warnings against female masturbation — let me reply to that objection with this:

chimps with erections stimulated by the sight of bananas.[9]

Sorry, I'm having issues organizing my quote library again. What I meant to say was:

No. Just ... No.

But don't just take my anecdotal experience for it. Here's an academic quote for you (unbacked by any research as far as I'm aware):

the warnings about blindness and insanity (as putative consequences of masturbation) were mainly directed at young males, not females.[12]

Want something more research-backed? I got just the thing for you: you see, as a person who grew up in a highly religious island-country, I am aware of no double standards when it comes to masturbation, religiously speaking. Kant for one was pretty clear about it: you can't. And this leads us to the research I promised.

You see, when it comes to clerical vows of celibacy, there are no double standards, there are no two ways about it period:

Among Catholic Christian clergy, both men and women take profoundly important and sacred vows to forego all sexual gratification throughout life. The single standard of absolute purity is thus clear to both priests and nuns. Yet the evidence suggests that nuns are far more successful than priests at achieving that ideal.
[12]

The evidence referred to is a questionnaire survey by Murphy, with a clerical sample of several hundred, in which she found that nuns had "significantly greater success at celibacy"[12] than priests.

Hey, if threats of insanity and blindness and hairiness and shortness of stature didn't do it, I didn't expect a holy vow would.

But seriously: abstaining from masturbation is, at least according to the personal experience of yours truly, quite biologically impossible. Verily I say unto you, if I tried to remain abstinent for a month, I wouldn't be able to fall asleep. Which means that in due course I'd be having hallucinations, most probably involving me having sex with imaginary people. (This might partly explain the great number of visions and miracles in monasteries.)

I know, I know: the kind of reader I tend to attract is not exactly a sucker for unsubstantiated anecdotes. So here, unbelieving Thomases:

Over a period of 4 years we contacted thousands of college students to solicit their participation in a study of voluntary sexual abstinence. The study required keeping a brief daily log of arousal feelings during a 2-week base period and a 1-month abstinence period. Almost 300 women, 10% of the total number solicited, volunteered for this study.
Those women who participated had no difficulty finishing the study. A total of 15 men volunteered, of whom only six were able to complete the abstinence period.[9]

Those 6 should have a statue raised to them. But not before they passed a polygraph test.

So there goes the "male masturbation encouragement/reward" objection. Take it from an autodidact when I say, "no one ever taught me how to masturbate". And I'm not alone:

Arafat and Cotton [...] found that half the girls and more than half the boys (who masturbated) said they discovered it themselves. An equal number of boys and girls learned about masturbation from friends (30.9% of boys, 29.3% of girls) and siblings (2.6% of boys, 3.9% of girls). The high rates of self-taught masturbation suggest that it is not a technically recondite, esoteric practice. Anyone who wants to masturbate can probably figure out how to do it.[12]

Yes, us boys don't steal away at night to go to our underground krifo scholio where we learn masturbation secrets passed down through the gender line and unrevealed to girls.

Nikolaos_Gyzis,_To_Kryfo_Scholio_-_oil_on_canvas.jpg

PC is all about policing what you put out, not what you keep in.
Source: Nikolaos Gyzis in Public Domain, modified.

Tidying up

www.maxpixel.net-Power-Line-Clutter-Knotted-Lines-Cable-Salad-Chaos-816224-.jpg

Source: MaxPixel w/ CC0 Public Domain license.

A little thing that might not have gone unnoticed by the OCD reader, was when I said that "women don't claim to feel more guilty about their sexual feelings [...] at least not to the point where the difference becomes significant".

Ah, you got me there, right? "The difference exists, even though it's not significant," you say.

And you're absolutely right, there's research that says that men feel guiltier about their onanisms. For example:

Arafat and Cotton’s [...] finding that more males (13%) than females (10%) reported feeling guilty after masturbation. By the same token, more males than females said they regarded their masturbatory activities as perverse (5% vs. 1%). Thus, if anything, guilt weighs more heavily on men.[12]

Of course there's other research that says females feel guiltier. But the ambiguity is precisely why the sex difference in attitudes toward masturbation should be deemed non-existent.

So it appears it's just genuine lack of desire that prevents women from masturbating as much as men.

Do sex differences in masturbation lead to conflict between men and women?

www.maxpixel.net-Silhouette-Husband-Conflict-Arguing-Relationship-3141264-.jpg

They're both trying to pull the Pope, but one is pulling harder. I meant rope. Damned autocorrect.
Source: MaxPixel w/ CC0 Public Domain license.

For those of you who think that sex differences in masturbation are innocuous, I wrote this last section just for you!

Remember the first quote in this post, from a meta-analysis representing the testing of 128,363 participants? (This was done by 2 female feminist researchers. I don't know if it matters that much of the research I cite is conducted by females, but some argue it does, so I'm mentioning it parenthetically.)

And so this meta-analysis, examining a wide range of sexual attitudes and behaviors, such as premarital sex and attitudes toward gays, found the largest sex differences to be in the frequency of masturbation and attitudes toward casual sex.[7] One of the authors enjoins us to note that other sex differences, like differences in mathematical or verbal abilities, pale in comparison. "Notice that these differences are enormous", the author says regarding the differences in sexuality. "We need much more attention in theory and research to these very large differences."[5]

The same author emphasizes that in many areas sex differences are non-existent (e.g. attitudes toward civil liberties for gays or toward masturbation) or moderate (e.g. sex in a committed relationship).

So now that we're all caught up, let's go back to "those of you think sex differences in masturbation are innocuous". The aforementioned author notes that anorgasmia is "common among women and rare among men"[5], and she cites sex therapists who believe that this might be the result of lack of experience with, and knowledge of, one's body. (A water canal seldom dug flows less readily, let's say.) To drive the point home:

Sex therapists and marital therapists also tell us that anorgasmia is a source of marital or relationship conflict between men and women. The wife is upset with the husband for not being skillful in bringing her to orgasm, and at the same time the husband feels inadequate. So, in short, the gender difference in masturbation may indeed be related to male-female conflict in close relationships.[5]

And there's much more where that came from, but I'm afraid I need to bring this to a close, since I feel my readership dwindling as I write. I'll just have to write more posts about the sex drive of the two sexes, and how men out-sex women in almost every regard.

Curtain Close

449px-TOGETHER_WE_CAN_DO_IT_-_KEEP_`EM_FIRING_-_NARA_-_515856-.jpg

Sleeves all rolled up and ready to fap.
Source: National Archives and Records Administration w/ Public Domain license, modified.

Let's review:

  • All available research puts men above women when it comes to masturbation frequency and urgency.

  • Masturbation is (at least prima facie — that's Latin for "on the face of it") a reliable indicator of sex drive.

  • It's possible that women have been taught to feel more guilty about masturbation, or to want to hide it from those who disapprove of it, but (a) usually the research is anonymous (b) if women under-report masturbation, so do men (c) the actual research shows no sex differences when it comes to attitudes toward masturbation (d) there is some non-significant research that shows that men in fact feel guiltier about masturbating (e) there is anecdotal evidence that stories about hairy palms are directed only toward men (f) there's Kant (g) research conducted in environments in which men and women are held to the exact same standard of sexual purity, show that priests fail where nuns succeed.

  • This sex difference in masturbation is not without a possible negative impact on relationships.

  • Last but not least, I have with this post scientifically vindicated our Ancient-Greek-pedigreed national curse-word.

A last objection I feel might be lurking, is something to the effect that, "but of course women won't masturbate as much as men: people masturbate because they can't get the real thing, and women can get laid whenever they want!"

This has already been partly covered, in passing, by the meta-analysis above that found the largest sex differences to be in masturbation and attitudes toward casual sex. But there's a lot more to be said, about how men consume pornography to a larger extent, about how "[w]omen have been encouraged to want sex within marriage, but they still want less than men"[12], about how often men think about sex compared to women, and so on, topics I'll be writing about in the future.

And so keep following, and I'll keep you posted!


REFERENCES

  1. Ellis, B. and Symons, D. (1990). Sex differences in sexual fantasy: An evolutionary psychological approach. Journal of Sex Research, [online] 27(4), pp.527-555. Available at: https://doi.org/10.1080/00224499009551579.

  2. Wikipedia contributors. (2018, September 4). Ring of Gyges. In Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia. Retrieved 13:07, September 10, 2018, from https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Ring_of_Gyges&oldid=858069822

  3. Geer, J. and Manguno-Mire, G. (1996). Gender Differences in Cognitive Processes in Sexuality. Annual Review of Sex Research, [online] 7(1), pp.90-124. Available at: http://dx.doi.org/10.1080/10532528.1996.10559910 [Accessed 12 Sep. 2018].

  4. Mealey, L. (2000). Sex Differences: Developmental and Evolutionary Strategies. 1st ed. Academic Press. Available online at: https://doi.org/10.1016/B978-0-12-487460-2.X5000-4

  5. Hyde, J. S. (1996). Where are the gender differences? Where are the gender similarities? In D. Buss & N. Malamuth (Eds.), Sex, power, conflict: Evolutionary and feminist perspectives. New York: Oxford Univ. Press. Available online at: http://www.oupcanada.com/catalog/9780195103571.html

  6. Knoth, R., Boyd, K. and Singer, B. (1988). Empirical tests of sexual selection theory: Predictions of sex differences in onset, intensity, and time course of sexual arousal. Journal of Sex Research, [online] 24(1), pp.73-89. Available at: http://dx.doi.org/10.1080/00224498809551399.

  7. Oliver, M. and Hyde, J. (1993). Gender differences in sexuality: A meta-analysis. Psychological Bulletin, [online] 114(1), pp.29-51. Available at: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/8346327.

  8. Μπαμπινιώτης, Γ. Λεξικό της νέας ελληνικής γλώσσας. Β' έκδοση. Κέντρο Λεξικολογίας. ISBN13 9789608975156 https://www.politeianet.gr/books/9789608975156-mpampiniotis-georgios-kentro-lexikologias-lexiko-tis-neas-ellinikis-glossas-199857

  9. Singer, B. (1985). A comparison of evolutionary and environmental theories of erotic response part II: Empirical arenas. The Journal of Sex Research, [online] 21(4), pp.345-374. Available at: https://doi.org/10.1080/00224498509551275.

  10. Udry, J., Billy, J., Morris, N., Groff, T. and Raj, M. (1985). Serum androgenic hormones motivate sexual behavior in adolescent boys. Fertility and Sterility, [online] 43(1), pp.90-94. Available at: https://doi.org/10.1016/S0015-0282(16)48324-X.

  11. Udry, J., Talbert, L. and Morris, N. (1986). Biosocial Foundations for Adolescent Female Sexuality. Demography, [online] 23(2), pp.217-230. Available at: https://doi.org/10.2307/2061617.

  12. Baumeister, R., Catanese, K. and Vohs, K. (2001). Is There a Gender Difference in Strength of Sex Drive? Theoretical Views, Conceptual Distinctions, and a Review of Relevant Evidence. Personality and Social Psychology Review, [online] 5(3), pp.242-273. Available at: https://doi.org/10.1207/S15327957PSPR0503_5.

  13. Lippa, R. (2007). Sex Differences in Sex Drive, Sociosexuality, and Height across 53 Nations: Testing Evolutionary and Social Structural Theories. Archives of Sexual Behavior, [online] 38(5), pp.631-651. Available at: https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-007-9242-8.

  14. Wikipedia contributors. (2018, June 14). Malakas. In Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia. Retrieved 12:40, October 2, 2018, from https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Malakas&oldid=845827505.


  15. Earlier Sex Differences episodes:

    9: The 70-year Cognitive Puzzle That Still Divides The Sexes

    8: Do Transsexual Persons Have An Opposite-Sex Brain?

    7: Do Parents Stereotype Their Children's Gender?

    6: Sex Differences: Do females and males have different brains? Addendum

    5: Sex Differences: Do females and males have different brains? Pt 3

    4: Sex Differences: Do females and males have different brains? Pt 2

    3: Sex Differences: Do females and males have different brains?

    2: Sex Differences: Check out the gonads on that one!

    1: Sex Differences: Does the Chromosome Maketh the Man?


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You make a point, and you make it well. But before I get into that, I recommend the video to anyone who hasn't watched it. Delightful--that woman is great, and I don't understand a word of Greek. 😄

Just a few comments about the post, which of course is well researched. Men are "quicker on the draw" and more eager to engage. But when we think of a behavior as important to survival of the species as sex drive, it can't be as simple as that. It has to have some significance for propagation. When it comes to actual engagement, men are more quickly gratified than women. So, in a way, women have a more enduring sex drive. Also, recent research indicates that while the male sexual urge may be fairly uniform from day to day, there is great variability in the female sex drive--which seems to be related to ovulation. During ovulation, it is suggested, women are as easily aroused as men. Which leads me to wonder what effect birth control pills have on sexual arousal and this natural cycle.
What does this mean? I don't know. I guess it means we have to keep asking questions.
As usual, provocative, and entertaining.

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Thank you utopian-io! You were a great resource during Hardfork transition, especially. Appreciated that a great deal.

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She is delightful, and knowledgeable, and very Greek!

Some of the points you made were made in the doc as well, such as the birth control pill argument, but I haven't read up on that, so I confess ignorance.

It's definitely true that the variability in the sex drive of women is much greater; that's been confirmed by metastudy after metastudy. It's interesting to note that our female mammal cousins are only receptive during certain parts of the month or of the year, so it wouldn't be very surprising if the variable sex drive of women somehow harked back to, or was a vestige of, those times.

I also don't know about the enduring sex drive. It's definitely true women have a much greater capacity for sex, but that's just a "lip service" sex difference since they don't seem to use it, although the women who do it professionally find it comes pretty handy!

As to the general topic, there will be many more arguments coming in a couple weeks! It doesn't suit the nature of the topic to be dissecting them like I'll be doing (e.g. this 'masturbation edition'), since the strength of the argument is in its holicity (holisticity?), but I can't publish a 15,000 word post :D

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I'm looking forward to the posts! I wish I did understand Greek. A very dynamic lady. I can't imagine she ever gave a dull lecture :)

The way I like to put it is this: if women aren't any different from men, then there's no real necessity for women to participate politically and socially — to vote, for example — since their interests will be represented by the men when they vote.

This is where you got my full attention and I had to read the whole article :)

Amazing piece, as always!

Of course it's impossible for men to restrain from masturbation, and there's a simple biological reason that contributes greatly to that - in testicles, several million sperm cells per day is made, which is about 1,500 per second! And this is a constant process.

What do you think, where all that sperm should go?

I'm not a man, but I'm pretty sure that already after 2-3 days of abstinence you start to feel "slightly" uncomfortable. My best guess is that, even if you try to restrain from masturbation completely, at one point all that sperm would just be "squeezed out" during sleep or whatever.

Take home advice - girls, be nice to your guys and give them at least enough thinking material, if you're not in the mood to help them. It's healthy for both parties and especially for your relationship ;)

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My best guess is that, even if you try to restrain from masturbation completely, at one point all that sperm would just be "squeezed out" during sleep or whatever.

And this is exactly what happens.

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Excess sperm gets kicked out in wet dreams 😁

Posted using Partiko Android

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Yeah, nocturnal emission happens, though much to my chagrin it never happened to me. I just could never restrain myself for so long! I purposely tried to make it happen by not doing the deed, but it only got to the point of dreams that made me wet but not 'relieved'. I only ever lasted a week tops, barring possible sickness and lapses of memory, and I was a nervous tick throughout and could think of little else.

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Gosh, you do get sick from abstinence!! 😯
Here is a song to make you feel better about all these lost θαλασσοψυχούλες...

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😄 I hadn't heard this one. Good one!

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I myself lasted a week as well. Sept 30 to oct 8 xD

Posted using Partiko Android

I may have been guilty, during my uni years, of instructing people who asked me "how do you say 'hello' in Greek?", to say "είσαι μαλάκας"

😳 😂

demonstrate that male college undergraduates underreported masturbation

I knew it!

In an extensive University of Chicago survey from 1994, "approximately 27% of men surveyed reported masturbating at least once a week

Yeah ... right ...

A little thing that might not have gone unnoticed by the OCD reader

Thank you, thank you once again Alexander.

women won't masturbate as much as men: people masturbate because they can't get the real thing, and women can get laid whenever they want!

Well ... 😏

It is always great to read your work Alexander. This was a very, very entertaining read! Also, the insights you delivered here as to why gender differences matter are smart and unarguable, to say the least.

All the best :)

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Always a pleasure when you stop by! ))

In an extensive University of Chicago survey from 1994, "approximately 27% of men surveyed reported masturbating at least once a week,

There are 3 explanations:

  • they have a fantastic playmate girl(s)
  • they are liars
  • they are impotent

Of course, as a scientist, I've tested in triplicate how long I could resist.

The results were 7, 7, and 6 days with 2 involuntary endings and one voluntary stop in order to leave at least enough free RAM memory to safely cross the street.

This is what I hate about XXI century science - we don't have the answers to extremely simple questions.

BTW, here is some statistics:

It's impossible to ignore the top-level stat: that Pornhub averaged 81 million visitors per day (28.5 billion visitors for the year)

And there are 7.600 million people on the Planet.
Number of internet users: 4.200 million
81 million per day = 500 million per week = 20% of internet malakas

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My personal experiments also led to 7. I wonder if now that I'm older I could last longer. But driving and street crossing definitely gets dangerous during such experiments!

Malakas.com would be a great pornhub equivalent site title btw. It's strange such a popular term just leads to a page with weird font spelling malakas.

Καλά ρε, ήρθα εδώ για να διαβάσω "μαλακίες";!

I really love your writing! And I do believe that women just don't feel the urge to "love themselves" as often as men. If I can take myself as an example, I can say that the urge becomes more intense on certain days of the month which are set by my menstrual circle. (is that over-sharing?)

Guilt? This can be passed on to both men and women as they grow, depending not only on their social environment, but their family mostly, IMO.

A woman can get it whenever she wants to? I doubt that, I think men are easier to get sex whenever they want to, considering it's easier for them to turn to paid sex (they have more options).

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A woman can get it whenever she wants to? I doubt that, I think men are easier to get sex whenever they want to, considering it's easier for them to turn to paid sex (they have more options).

True. That's how I meet all my gfs

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Καλά ρε, ήρθα εδώ για να διαβάσω "μαλακίες";!

😁

is that over-sharing?

Definitely not: you're contributing to the science!

Guilt? This can be passed on to both men and women as they grow, depending not only on their social environment, but their family mostly, IMO.

👍

A woman can get it whenever she wants to? I doubt that, I think men are easier to get sex whenever they want to, considering it's easier for them to turn to paid sex (they have more options).

Seems reasonable. It's an interesting debate; I can certainly look at it both ways.

May be? Boy these scientists take great pains not to overstate their case. And that's why we trust them! (and make love with them 💘 )

There, I fixed it for you.


Anyway. Have you thought / researched about the correlation between a normal drive for masturbation but a comparatively low desire to actually have sex?
This is something I was always fascinated of. When friends complain to me they haven't seen their partners for a couple of days or maybe even weeks and couldn't have sex, I was usually like "Yeah, whatever, it's no big deal."
For me sex is more like a "nice to have" thing. It's ok to have it, I might even enjoy it, but I certainly don't need it and even after a year or so, I don't feel any intense craving to change that (that's not my current situation, but it has been at some point of my past).

I thought of myself as being asexual but then again I don't mind having sex - I'm just not out there looking for it.
I'm actually quite curious what might be the reason.

·

Have you thought / researched about the correlation between a normal drive for masturbation but a comparatively low desire to actually have sex?

Thought, but not researched! I thought it in relation to the topic I was arguing, rather than the thing itself: in other words, I thought about what is more correlated with actual sex drive: masturbation, or actual sex? Can one person be a frequent masturbator but an infrequent sex partner, not because he/she can't but because they don't want to?

Feminists, for instance, could have a strong sex drive that exhibited itself with masturbation, but they might not want to have sex with the actual men they see around them cos of how feministically backward they are. And it doesn't have to be about a movement, it could be very individual, like a specific person just preferring sex with his own self cos the real thing always disappoints.

When friends complain to me they haven't seen their partners for a couple of days or maybe even weeks and couldn't have sex, I was usually like "Yeah, whatever, it's no big deal."

Agreed! That might have something to do with introversion. My partner is always alive in my head, so I don't actually need constant contact with them. I always found it strange when people would break up 'because of distance', as in they would study in different countries, and meet once every three months for 3 weeks. To me, that seemed enough to sustain an otherwise healthy relationship. Only reason to break up would be if you actually just needed the sex, not the rest of the person.

The Japanese now are going through this cultural thing where sex apparently doesn't matter much to them.

But not caring about having sex for a year is a different thing, I think, although it again might depend on what's inside your brain. I find for example that when we're younger we tend to think in terms of 'hope', and can postpone gratification, as in 'I have time; I'll do that later'. But also it might depend on hormones.

So that's a topic I will mention but not really go into deeply in the next post, because what you're asking is more about sexology and less about sex differences. In general though women do seem to be able to turn their sex drive on and off almost at will, and can go for long periods of time without sex without it bothering them (but I'm including masturbation here), and men in general don't seem to be able to do that.

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What s wonderful article! I am delighted by the effort you put into writing that :) thanks for learning me and some other steemians something about sex!

Well, your topic alone is enough to drive a herd down this lane. And if men is seen as more sex prone than women, is he to be blamed?

As an old poem posed a response to a scientist's question over the revolution of the earth around the sun: "Ain't that how God wants it?"

hahaha.

Very interesting write up, anyway. I was hooked until the end.

Χαχααααα.... καλύτερη εξήγηση του "μαλάκα" δε μπορούσες να δώσεις!!!!
Καλό βράδυ...

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