A story about a comment on my post & some advice for just one man. (Maybe you should listen too.)

in steemit •  last year

Hello Again! Steemitizens...
That's how I normally open all my posts.
But this one is different.

This post is dedicated to a person who commented on one my earlier posts today and struck a chord with me. This post is a personalized reply to him, and I am just inviting you all to listen in with us here because there might just be a tiny nugget of truth in here for all of us.



Hello Again, @AgSupun!

Here is the reply I promised you. I hope you don't mind, but I think some of my other followers need to "overhear" this conversation as well, and perhaps join us in discussing it in the comments after the post.

59 minutes ago, I promised I was out to eat when I saw your comment and that I'd be back in an hour and here I am.

For the benefit of our eavesdropping audience here, I am going to quote your comment now, and since it was posted publically on one of my posts, I am going to take a leap here that you wont mind me referencing it in front of the same people again here for convenience.

The subject of obsessive compulsive resteemers who add no value and produce no content was being talked about there by many of us and then...

You said to me:

"Agreed. I've been here for 10 days. I resteemed only a single post. I create my own posts spending time and putting effort. But the sad thing is getting views is so hard. When no one reads what you post you feel sad right. I don't want upvotes at least some comments and views for the post is great motivation to continue." - @aguspun

@aguspun - don't be discouraged. I went to your blog and read several of your posts while I was out eating cheap Chinese buffet for supper by myself. I had an early chance to eat and a restaurant to myself at the late afternoon hour that it was here, so I settled in with a plate and your comment, and your blog and I read it all and I thought about it. Then I let you know I was out to eat but that I had something to tell you and I'd be here with some advice I'd like to suggest for your consideration.

I promised you advice made just for you, so here it is.

I am no expert but I have been online since 300 baud modems and bulletin board systems were a thing WAY before the public, consumer, commercial internet was even dreamed of yet.

I have read millions of stranger's words online over 30+ years. On BBS's, AOL, Compuserve, The Well, early times Internet and modern Internet. I have written millions of my own posts and comments and observations and technical reports and manuals and books and magazines and every kind of writing you can imagine in my career.

And then your comment hit me in the midst of the angsty post rant I put up here for you to comment on. And it moved me. And it reminded me of my own beginning but not the one here 15 days ago. The ones I experienced before at different times in my life in various metaphors. New relationships. New Jobs, New places. New things. You get the idea.

So I read your stuff.

Man, your stuff is GOOD. You write very well and you write on solid topics, both personal and general.

So what's my advice?

Well, in some ways, it's as simple as "hang in there, you've only been here 10 days" but that's a cop out and a cheap shot. Too easy. Not good enough, and not entirely accurate or complete.

Besides, I've only been here 15 days.

Just 5 days longer than you, but my stats are much higher. Why? I think I know and that's what I want to try and share with you here.

Frankly, I don't think I write that much better than you do in your posts, at all. Granted, casual American English is my native tongue and I do not believe I could ever write a blog in another language. So in that regard YOU write better than ME, because I can only do it in one dimension and you can do it in at least two and do it well.

Yes, you do it quite well. It's not the quality of your posts holding you back and I think you already know that. I could hear it in your comment.

You know you do good work, so maintain that confidence, first and foremost. Because that's one piece of the puzzle. Confidence is not just a show of bravado, but like integrity, which is what you have when no one is looking, so is confidence something you carry inside and have... even when no one is reading or responding... yet.

I think you are just having a moment of doubt. Your work sings of self-confidence and knowledge and wisdom. Your first post mistake and the message in it's place now sing of your personal integrity and self-worth and values.

But here's the thing.

There is something different about our approaches, and this may be why there is a difference in our responses from the public.

I noticed you only follow 22 people and I follow over 600. Now as you saw this title is about removing those follows I set up early on that make no sense to me now as I learn about steemit. So it won't be long till my number is well below 600 and i work on that a couple hours a day each day to eliminate useless people I used to follow before I realized they were not adding value to me, the site, the community or themselves here. Goners, all from my list anyway.

But my list will never be just 22 people follow either. There are far more than just 22 interesting people I could consider people i would like and friend up with in "real life" and I want to see and know them here, in this community.

Also, I have around 500 people following me in just 15 days, you have about 110.

I am not pointing these numbers out to brag. They are not particularly even noteworthy by steemit standards.

But I am pointing out that we have used our 10 and 15 days quite differently. And its showing in our results for our time on our wallet, follower and reputation stats.

So what did I do so much differently?

I worked hard at making new friends. Practically speaking I spent several hours at a time on the "new" page selecting the "introduceyourself" tag and reading every single post there written in English that I could read, that wasn't an obvious waste of time from the title ("Hi Steemet! Follow me and donate to my btc wallet!) was a post I skipped. But not the ones that led me to have the 500 people following me you see now.

And i know it was the effort to go introduce myself BACK to the newest of the new, the 3 minute old starry eyed newcomer intro posts that did it for me and many others before me who are climbing the various metrics ladders on the steemit block chain quickly and more quickly than their peers that arrived at the same time.

We did it by being nice. By introducing ourselves in thoughtful comments MUCH like the one I am responding to from you right now. This is actually proof. You didn't come in and whine or beg. You came in on topic and with a point of your own, and it made me want to talk to you, to follow you and to check out your blog.

DO more of that!

But don't just do it accidentally like this. Make it a part of your steemit routine to go meet 10 or so new people a session when you come here. The more the merrier, 10 just seems like a reasonable example.

I would sometimes end up with 20 and 30 new followers every few hours this way! And I hit 200 in 46 hours after my first login. I had 300 by the end of week three and i hit 500 today.

I don't have to go to the newbie pond as much to fish anymore. They came, they followed, and the participated in my posts. More than one has opened a comment with "you were the first person I met here ever, @SirCork and you made me feel welcome!"

Some of them resteem and impress others with YOUR work. Some do better work than YOU and carry you with them. Never be jealous of either ability.

One guy I know started i think the same day as me or within one day of me and has passed me up by a mile in every way. That is @adil and by now, you've probably started seeing him become known around here for his steemit user guide posts. These are the crowd to emulate, and join and "run with".

I built an INCREDIBLY diverse following with this method of just being nice and welcoming new people on the new/introduceyourself page and thread.

These people are moving up now, like a class graduating together each year. And as they go, some wear out and aren't able to hang or produce or care enough, and for each of those someone else turns out to be a STELLAR blogger on rocketship to whalespace.

These are your people. You need to go find your tribe here man. Your community inside the community and build with them together, your own whale tank! Like an Amish barn raising for your steemit stats.

We hear here and I often quote it: TeemWork Makes The SteemDreem work! And it's true. At all levels. For small groups, for small subcommunities inside the meta steemit community and for the entirety of all steemdom. We must work to build, protect and beautify this community together.

Then there is you. Or me. The individual in the middle of this vast, spiraling infinitely deep structure here.

It has it's own group dymanics. Ettiquettes, Rules, Guidelines, Politics. Some tangible, some documented, some neither and difficult to ascertain or get a handle on at first. This is true of ANY new environment full of humans. And that will never change.

So you have to manage you in the middle of this crowd and that leaves me with my second major point and last suggestion.

Find your voice.

Then make your voice heard.

You speak on some deep topics on your blog. But you also bounce around a bit. So do I. Trust me this last bit of advice is my own personal daily struggle and most other people's here as well.

Find your voice.

What does that even mean? Well, it means find your passion, your niche, your specialist topic and then make that voice heard, using your internal confidence and the external network you've been working so hard to build over in the introduceyourself section greeting new minnows and making them feel at home.

ATTENTION FOLLOWERS - THIS IS THE AUDIENCE PARTICIPATION MOMENT NOW. COMMENT IF IT WAS ME, @SIRCORK, THAT WAS YOUR FIRST "CONTACT" WITH ANY USER ON STEEMIT ON YOUR FIRST POST. PLEASE!

You see -the success here doesn't come from writing "reel gud" or knowing fat whales alone. Although those golden hammer votes never hurt lol. For sure!

Success here... comes from building relationships. Making friends. Being real and honest and high integrity and likeable and kind and sometimes generous with time or advice or a moment to cheer someone up or make them laugh.

Those people matter and they will return the encouragement you need to keep going. And then you will look up one day and be at 400 followers. And make a post. And look up again and be at 435. And again and a day later and its hitting 500...

I am the proof it works. @Adil is the proof it works. Many other examples come to mind and are also being created even as we speak.

We haven't been here much longer than you. But we made friends, and focused on that. Here, in the steemit.chat site and on discord. We joined #MinnowSupport and P.AL.

We talked to people. And we read their blogs too and talked to them. And that interested them in reading OURS.

But we never begged (ive not seen you beg either!) and we never played useless Follow for Follow time wasting useless exercises.

We looked for genuine people, we could actually enjoy reading and talking to and the ones that liked us back become our tribes. Our families. Our followers. Our support. And we help each other grow, overtly and also less obviously in some ways too.

A famous book for online marketers is called 1000 Raving Fans. The concept is to find 1000 people that adore your product, rave about it and love talking about it. You will never need to spend another marketing dollar, more or less after that.

Here, it only takes that first hundred or two to achieve motion. But to accelerate and gain momentum, take more than just a spark and some gas. You have to mash your foot on the pedal, and keep posting, even when you are on an empty highway alone and havent seen a car come by you for awhile. Just keep driving and you'll find yourself back in a city full of life in no time. This means keep posting when no one is looking and introducing yourself to and greeting the newest, weakest minnows to just be born here and commenting BUT only when you have something on topic to say of course.

And things will just... happen. And you will look back at this moment and remember it, a year or more from now, even as you are teaching the secrets of your growth and success here to some minnow, who just showed up ten days ago and now finds himself a little overwhelmed and discouraged.

And I just hope you remember me when you get there!

Sorry to put this in public, but I knew I was about to do a high dive into my heart for you and i wanted to make sure the quiet ones, the desperate ones who stop by who DO NOT have the confidence you showed in voicing your sadness to me, which took so much strength to reveal as a man to another strange man in a foreign country... also hear this message.

The way to success on steemit.

Is love.

Love your work and do it well, with love. Whether its writing or curating or just reading. Love what you do. Don't force it. Don't fake it and don't do it "for the money" - because those will all kill your soul.

Be loving and kind always. But don't be walked on (by rude people or spammers or idiots) so also be strong. Because strength of values and morals and integrity are also love.

You want to be an big old whale. @agsupun ?

Then go love the little new minnows first.

I promise you, it will all fall right into place from there.

With all my sincerity, and with all that, this post is over.

Full Steem Ahead, Steemitizens
(and @agsupun, my newest friend!)

@Sircork

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GOT em Coach!

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Are you too lazy to reply on my crappy comment? You spend like 2 hours writing and then are too tired to even reply for me? Downvote incoming. Cannot even make a good meme.. fuk

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He says to the guy that has basically been in a 25 hour discord marathon with him. Don't be a buttface, nic.

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You arent used to it already? And WTF is a buttface?

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Do you really want to spy on me that bad? I know i am sexy but come on.. You took it too far!

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Really nice post, straight from the heart and you wrote it very well. I think I feel just like your new friends, looking hope while I've been posting some still I've been working on, but only getting a few dollar cents in return for my effort is pretty hurtful. I really love how you spent time to write such a encouraging post to a "stranger", that really helped me by the way, and will probably help lots of other people on here. I now follow you and your new friend :). And you have some really nice writing talent.

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Thank you! And here I sit going, shit I need to edit the second sentence and I kept typing i instead of I and I left some words out typing so fast in the middle of some sentences...

We are our own worst critics and that IS what this post was really about....
Good to have you in our little followerville, we like it here and you are welcome in it!

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Thank you! Yeah I noticed the small i's, but don't worry about that. We got the idea and we're not mad haha. Yeah, I'll guess I'll stick and wait around to see what this site has to offer. If I stop now I waisted all my time. Maybe I'm naive but maybe it will work out.. Time will tell lolol

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"wasted" - Mr. Small I Spotter! :P

Time WILL tell, and it will change everything anyway.

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SHIT YOU GOT ME RIGHT THERE :(!!!! I don't mind about the small I's and spelling mistakes at all though, haha. I think I have a lot of them, as I am not a native speaker.

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But this is actually literally me today. I was looking for a new person to rent my room through Facebook. I was selecting people based on proper language use. :$

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Intellectual prowess and intelligence are not always signs of stability, but the lack of both are serious red flags in a roommate :D

First of all my apologies for not being online when you post this. It was 2 a.m in the morning when I commented on your post. I was in my bed reding you post and then I slept.
No sir, I really don't mind you posting this in public quoting my comment. It doesn't make me look bad and all you tried was to give me your advice came from your heart. I really appreciate this. You really are a great human being. No wonder that you have such a great follower base. No one else would have gone through all this trouble to make someone cheer up and encourage. I really respect that and this post is like gold to me. Yes I get it and I will do hereafter like you said. There are lots of people like me discouraged after few days. All of them should read this. So I'm going to resteem this post. Thank you so much again for spending your valuable time to create such a great and inspiring post just because of me. This is the fuel I needed to keep running my engine. Everytime I feel discouraged I am going to read this. I can't thank you enough for this. Only thing I can do is create more quality content and I am going to do that no matter what.

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See you at the top, my new friend. Your heart and intentions are pure and solid. That is what will work here. Nothing less. :)

Sir, you were not the first but an early contact and I have read all of your posts and enjoyed most of them as being in an area that I find interesting. I can see that with your background you have adapted very quickly to the environment. I'd say you are in your element and your personality comes through with your writing. I love your openness.

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This does feel a lot like the home I've been waiting for. All my life people have said, Corky, write a book. And I say, about what, and they say, about your crazy life story! (It's been kinda whack and shocking in many ways) and I say, I can't yet, because it hasn't ended yet!

But here, I can just live in print. And it never ends!

Perfect.

thanks for being a continuing reader and potential long term friend. :D I am humbled and grateful for the compliments!

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We shall see what the future is like. This is so addicting I don't think I can keep it up forever. I don't spend so much time outside in the winter. It will be entertaining.

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my life, my career, my existence is at a keyboard. it's sad to some, and yet, Ive seen much of the world. climbed mountains, jumped from planes, snorkeled offshore reefs, seen land, sea and air in a handful of countries. Im twice divorced and my kid is grown. ive got land and own an office building - so sitting here, drinking coffee, emailing team and customers, random video calls with humans and a couple local friends to burn one with now and then and im all good. You'll find me, mostly right here, year round at this point. Im 48, so not ancient, but i had a very full first 45.
I'm already entertained here :)

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Yes, this is one reason why your posts and comments are so interesting, because you have so much experience and you apply it.

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Oh I SO want to make an inappropriate comment right now, but you don't know me and I don't know you so... we'll just forget that for now.

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Well I am old and experienced in my own way so we'll agree that I got it and let others use their imaginations.

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deal :)

I also remember when the internet was as fast as a fax machine.
That was the newbie experience for some of us. It just means we are able to adapt to new sites, like Steemit, faster.

"A professional is someone who has made every possible mistake in a narrow field." Amusing, but the clincher is, "And has learnt from them."

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My very first online experience was on my next door neighbors father's machine... from the Pentagon, he was a naval officer high up. There was no screen, we played hunt the wumpus and "adventure" on text that came out on a roll of .... drum roll... thermal fax paper.

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Ah, we were one step up - Adventure on a screen and dot matrix printer. I was still a teen but had access to a uni computer at weekends.

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$ look <enter>
# You see a flashlight.
# There are exists to the N,S,E & W.
$_

Thanks for sharing and "going deep" with your response. I could feel your heart in what you wrote. It wasn't just a bunch of words, it was real.

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I don't know how to be fake. And I cannot begin to tell you what all that has cost me in life.

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But I'm guessing it has helped you be able to sleep at night. Being real leads to a clear conscience.

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More or less yes. My conscience is clear. My sleep is spotty, but that's techs fault, not my heartz :)

Thanks for this..

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You're welcome for that..

Great advice! I need to work on being more social. I'm having a hard time fitting everything in, I need more hours in the day!

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I will admit I'm a rare person in that Im fully functional sleeping in two hour windows once or twice per 24-30 hours but Ive done it so long its normal

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You're a cat! lol

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You may call me Lion, tyvm! :D

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lol Sir Lion Man

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I believe I can work under those conditions!

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So it shall be!

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And so it was written. And there was peace in the village for some time to come.

Quite a feat to write something so long and yet so readable! I feel like following you and agsupun without even knowing what he writes about! Your writing is entertaining and at some points insightful, so consider me a new follower! Upvoting quota for the day is spent so no upvote for you I'm afraid!

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Thank you! That's very kind of you!

By the way, I'll tell you a secret!

The art to long form blogging is not in the words!

It's in the space you put between them!

Thanks for stopping in and deciding to stick around!
-Corky (@sircork)

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It's almost as if you had demonstrated your point in the reply itself! :P

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I assure you SIR, there is NO method to my madness, whatsoever!

:D :D :D :D

Don't we all feel underrated when new?

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I would imagine many do. Since this is not my first blogging rodeo (35+ years in tech here), I already knew how to launch "my brand" and how long it ~could~ take to get "rated" so to speak as not under OR over "rated" at the same time. So I just got here and went to work about building my presence, voice on the platform and reach.

I'm still ironing out my personal "steemit" style and brand, but here just after two weeks and a day or so, I think I'm finding my stride.

But I do think a novice blogger would be finding themselves VERY overwhelmed and underrated here. Can see that happening, for sure!

A very nice post, @sircork . I've had a very difficult time making some newcomers understand that the gimmicks from other social media sites don't work here. It's about real human interaction. Networking. Finding your niche. And most of all, it's about just being nice to people.

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Spread the love and the message! Thank you for your compliments! And for reading!