Can a girl and a boy be just best friends?

in #steemit3 years ago

I usually don't go into these subjects. But today one of my girl friend (not to be read together :D) was proposed by her best friend. As I being a mutual friend for both, she told me about this, and she told me that, he is her best friend, but not want anything more than that.

This really made me rethink this question: Can a girl and a boy be just friends?

Well, I came to this theory (still needs work ;) )

"A girl and a boy can be best friends *"

*Terms and conditions apply

  • Either the boy should have a girlfriend/partner or the girl should have a boyfriend/partner

What do you really think about this ? Do you have a best friend ?


In life everything is possible 😉
If you are able to marry your best friend then you are surely the happiest person on Earth.

That guy must be really lucky indeed!

Very lucky!


As a man i can not think that is possible to truly care for a women without wanting to connect sexualy. That however does not prevent me from being a good friend to her. I also think you can care for a women want to have sex with her but not be together with her. So from my perspective: Yes it is possible.

I have no idea how this looks from a female perspective.

I don't think that there is any difference from the female perspective.
You might be able to give the sexual part less importance and focus only on friendship (like you said); so kind of "learn" to deal with it and adapt yourself to the situation. However, it'll be always there - that idea of "something more"...;)
That's at least my experience.

I think women have also a much more "caring" perspective on a loving relationship which can compensate the sexual needs. Not sure this can happen with men.

Solid point. Even though there are also women who can't or don't want to compensate the sexual part with other values.
I think I will do an article about that some day ;)

Well, from past experiences most of my male friends have eventually expressed a desire for more..Most male/female friendships have at least one that has a desire for more and when that doesn't happen, the friendship goes out the window but in a few rare cases, it can be mutual and oh what an amazing journey it can be if you are truly close and honest with each other. JUST KEEP IT REAL..

Hi! I just stumbled upon this post. I'll give you my personal response from my personal experiences. I'm very much of an oddball and generally tends to be the exception to the rule. I'm also obsessive with standards, quality and efficiency and I'm not the kind of person who look myself in the mirror and think I look good despite most people telling me otherwise.

My personal experience is that I can connect with a women while having ZERO sexual interest. In pretty much all of those cases it comes down to "not my type". I have great female friends that I love to hang out with and even share lots of personal things with and I genuinely enjoy hanging out with them. But I may not have sex with them for a million dollars. It doesn't mean they are ugly. There's evidence to the contrary. It's just they don't fit my obsessively specific range of taste in women.The kawaii moe type of girls is something I adore but it never gets sexual. You could bring me a super cute kawaii girl and I'd be jumping to hug them but there will be ZERO sexual attraction. It's just how my mind works. Some types of beauties doesn't interest me sexually even though I'd love to cuddle with them.

There are also neutral cases where I think the girl is a bombshell but still not interested enough to go after and let the girl decide if she wants to make a move or not. In both cases I deeply care for the women involved but do not pursue them sexually. I've been around with girls since young age and I've always been very comfortable with them. I also have many gorgeous cousins which a lot of guys drool over. I've also had a devil's advocate smarty pants attitude for as long as I can remember. Probably all that has some effect on my odd situation.

I have so often seen that best friends seem to end up together. My husband was my best friend when we were studying and we have now been friends for more than 50 years. Married for 47 years.

Wow! That's what I call a wonderful love story ❤️

Really happy for you mate :)

Yes, yes, and yes!! It is all in your perspective. Most of my friends are male with lots of hugs and no sex...but now I am in a relationship with my bestest friend ever and it is so amazing!!

So nice! Am happy for you 🙂

Hope it blossom into something very special mate :)

Hmmm I'm with Marley on this one that anything is possible and my wife is my best friend but not until after we spent time together through the laws of attraction, dating and so forth. When I was on the dating scene I had girl friends I wasn't interested in dating but never had someone in my life like that being my best friend. I never experienced that due to "no interest", "no attraction" and "no effort on my part other than friendship. If I was interested and attracted to a woman then my attention and effort was there for something more even if in the short or long run it didn't blossom into something more. I can say however I've found the love of my life and yes she's my best friend.

I'm so happy for you. It must be true fulfillment loving somebody who is also your soulmate.
I've had three long lasting relationships so far and in one of them it happened to me as well, so I remember that kind of synergy with a big smile on my face ;)
Really glad yours is lasting and even lead to marriage 😍 Viva el amor!

Thanks Marley! Always good to hear from you! It's funny to me how people are always wondering and talking about how they're not sure or wanting advice from others who obviously have no idea or any true answers. In my experience if this is taking place it's more than likely not right for whatever reason. A person's body, mind, emotions and everything that makes up one's being will let them know when it's right. One just knows. No one needs to tell them anything. I'm happy you know the feeling. It's not a one time deal it'll come again. Life is a unique and funny thing for us all. It certainly has it's own way of working itself out. :)

If your comment was an article I would resteem it right away! These are wise words.
It may help you to talk about your feelings with your inner circle from time to time (I actually do that very often). But in the end it's your life; and only your own heart knows which is the way to follow...
I could talk an eternity about these things here :)
Have a wonderful weekend!

Indeed, wise words mate :)

Of course they can. It is just life!

Yeah :)

In my opinion one of the two needs to cut back his/her emotions and need to learn to live with that... but at the beginning, attraction played an important part of getting to know each other... that's why I think there can't be a real neutral best friends relationship.

So there will be a natural disbalance in such a friendship... if the balance gets to one-sided then maybe there will be some emotional pressure relief (normally too much drinks are involved :D ) and after that life goes on. If you appreciate that friend enough, then this won't hurt the relationship.

Another important aspect is the frequency of seeing each other... If you see the person daily and get in close contact then your brain will be flooded with so much oxytocin that the urge to get closer to each other will be irresistible...

Maybe I'm just too narrow minded. Nevertheless a really interesting question :)

Yeah, that also happened to me once. When I was in my twenties, my roommate was my best friend. One weekend we went out and in the middle of a club we suddenly started kissing. The next day we talked about it and decided to just leave it like that: a nice experience. In order to save the friendship we didn't go further.

From my today's point of view I believe that we did well. However, that one kiss might have been the beginning of something deeper as well. Who knows...

This thing called love is always a huge mystery, and that's one of the reasons why we can't get enough of it :)

Happy weekend!

The only possible and sincere way in which a man and a women can be friends is after the long relationship was ended, and they have a deep sense of respect toward one another.
Guys that are scared to project there intention on the girl they like, often befriend them hoping that someday they'll finally have the courage to show them. It always ends up badly cause the girl feels betrayed by the creep who was pretended to be her friend for so long so he could get into her pants, and the guy feels like his done a lot for that girl and now gets nothing for his "investment". It doesn't come down on having a partner, but spending time together with no hidden agenda, and the only force that drives men to hang out with women in the beginning is sexual force.

This is such an interesting question.

First, I love your "qualified answer" that "terms and conditions apply." That sure made me smile.

I'd like to take a run at it from my slightly different personal perspective...

I would say that the answer is definitely yes, and (expanding a bit on your Terms and Conditions) I think there is a good reason that this is a question at all.

As a Christian, I think the reason is that, in the course of a "normal lifetime," the complications of physical involvement make it very difficult to happily engage with multiple partners in all ways. The bible contemplates marriage as a life-long commitment. I think this primarily for the benefit of the children and grandchildren and so-on.

Recognizing that, I think that friendships can and should be encouraged all around. There are people of both sexes that may have similar interests to yours, and whose friendship can be very beneficial when it comes to encouraging development and creativity.

Thanks for this thought provoking article!



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