Is this a good ad?

in steemit •  8 months ago

Screen Shot 2018-05-01 at 7.30.18 PM.png
Hello Steemains,

Today I want to know your opinion on one of my ads. In my position, I can never fully know what the consumers want. A piece of paper can get me a sale but to what extent. Can you guys assist me with the following:

Would you read this or is it too long?

How fast will this go in the trash?

What I'm I missing? Maybe statics form that area code?

How can I Improve this.

I have this as well would this work better?

Screen Shot 2018-05-01 at 7.35.14 PM.png

Also a little update that I'm doing with funds in case you want to consider doing this as well. Percentage break down of what you make
Save 10%
Spend 20%
Invest in my companies 40% (you can use this as saving for your start up
Stocks 10%
Crypto 20% Till I make enough to day trade it. Also thinking of buying steem with 60% of the 20%. So you might see my vote power reach a few thousand by the end of the year with summer being prime time.

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Why would you write that you can speak Spanish in English? There is a typo, you wrote professional when it should say professionally. In the second add you wrote 'some', maybe get rid of that word or change it to 'interested'.

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Thank you crypticat! I will definitely update that! Maybe I should bold the Spanish part as well since they won't read an article in English.

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Always happy to help

Hi @jason7282! You have received 3.75 SBD @tipU upvote !

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