I Don't Care about Your Upvotes...I Care If You're Interesting and Decent
(The author, at work...obviously working hard.)
Some people were born to be a part of the cool crowd; I doubt that was ever my lot in life and, the older I get, the less I care about that.
Particularly because, as one ages, one finds their "tribe," the people they jive with on so many levels, they rarely ever need to speak to know what the other is thinking. Quiet spans of roadtrips, drunk late nights, or just sitting on a patio doing whatever it is your particular crew of weirdos does to pass the time.
My life's philosophy has changed over the years; it's morphed and become different shapes, but at its heart resides a simple ethos: I don't care how much money you make. I don't care what you do for a living. I don't care what you look like. I don't care where you come from. The only thing I care about is this: ARE YOU, AT YOUR CORE, A DECENT PERSON?
And, I gotta tell ya...those people are way easier to find the older you get. Mostly because you can smell bullshit a mile away, but also because you're simply less likely to put up with unnecessary nonsense or drama when other, more important, life issues become more prevalent in older age.
But the ones worth keeping? Oh man...if you can find the weird ones and they jive with you, if they tickle your brain and your heart in that perfect way, don't you dare fucking let those people go. Not for all the money or the popularity in the world. Those people are IRREFUCKINGPLACEABLE.
I've been fortunate to have multiple groups of weirdos to which I belong to; my West Coast/San Francisco family (above and below and in the onesies WAY above), my old school/high school family (the photobooth pictures), and my current roadtrip/DJ/festival family (in the car).
The best thing I ever did was shun the mantle of caring what other people thought of me and what I did with the people that I care about. I can look at all three of these groups of people and know without question that, should I ever find myself in a tough spot, every fucking one of those people would come running. Not because they are owed anything by me, not because I hold some kind of sway over them, but because there are bonds deeper than any of that superficial bullshit that cannot be broken.
So find the weirdos in your life. Follow them off the cliff. Revel in their bizarre behavior and find out where your limits reside.
I was no huge fan of the beat generation, but Kerouac once said something beautiful and profound that has, unfortunately, become cliche despite its loveliness:
"...and I shambled after as I've been doing all my life after people who interest me, because the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars..."
Upvote, don't upvote. Just follow the people that move you in some serious and substantial way.
In your recent pissing match with my friend @dwinblood I made a remark that you were probably stupid. I was wrong and apologize. @winstonwolfe pointed out that you are a talented writer, and he was correct. I'm sorry, I reacted out of friendship. I always defend my friends... to the death if necessary (mine, just to be clear). I enjoy your writing, upvoted and followed!
i appreciate that. and like i told him, it's just the internet. we only get a weird 2D version of people that's never fully fleshed out unless in person. he's got influence here and i'm still a nobody, so it's a natural knee-jerk reaction - no worries whatsoever.
Well, from one nobody to another... You're a hell of a talented writer- you'll do well here!
Let me take a moment to soak in what a fantabulous writer you are. I dig your writing style. It's very engaging and honest. Now that's said, I can't choose which of your group I love more. Damn, the pictures were awesome. The onsies though is growing on me. You're very fortunate to have not one but three tribes with which to jive in. I can't say I have those fun families. But perhaps someday. This post gave me hope lol
hahahaha...thank ya! and yeah, it's hard to choose which one is the most fun as they've all got their particular idiosyncrasies that make them uniquely wonderful. and i know i'm VERY lucky to have found even one of them, much less the three that i've got.
This post warmed my heart and really hit a chord with me. I used to be one of those that got caught up in all the bullshit, caring what people thought of me and such. It's funny, you mentioned it, but going to festivals totally changed that attitude. Seeing so many people just being comfortable with who they are and doing what felt right really made me change my mindset. Now I kinda embrace that quote, I think it was Dr. Suess: "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." I'm totally gonna steal that Kerouac quote btw ;). Thanks for the great post!
i think it's easy for a lot of us to worry about how we're viewed during our younger days; we're still growing, both emotionally and in personality. unfortunately, far too many end up holding on to those ALL those concerns well into adulthood rather than shrugging some of them off. some become super neurotic or acquire body/image issues while others just become so vacuous as to be seen as egomaniacs.
Totally right. It's really sad to see because I totally believe within everyone is limitless potential that can only be released when you let go and embrace who you really are. The world would be such a better place if people accepted themselves instead of trying to fit a square peg in a round hole.
[Looks around awkwardly]
[Shuffles feet]
[Opens whiskey]
[Takes off pants]
[Upvotes]
this is why we party so well together.
Agreed sir. Agreed.
Ain't no shame in your game...I love it!
Nice horse head. I am sure you have a cool boss that allows for that. I am trying to get away from all the BS really getting at. I quit my old job and found one that better fits the mentality that I prefer and with less tree. I make far less but I am far happier.
Thanks for the post.
oh man...i could write a dissertation on the need for you to enjoy where you work. my last job in san francisco was fucking miserable and turned me into a constant asshole, which isn't healthy. i'm in a MUCH better place now and it's made a world of difference for my mental state.
I GET IT!
Oh yeah... Thanks for the response. Yes, switching jobs has given me more internal peace. Of course, my family had to make financial sacrifices...but it was worth the peace from being more centered and a more relaxed atmosphere.
Heck yes.
You are very lucky to have people, to feel supported and cared for. Loved etc. I vaguely remember that feeling. It was lovely. It is good you don't take it for granted, appreciate it every second!
"follow the people that move you in some serious and substantial way" - sums it up...
It is becoming more and more difficult to find 'decent' people or to know if someone is decent or not because everyone is busy carrying their AVATARS online that they lost their actual identities in real life...good share! Good luck!
Love it, no BS, no compromise, just what works for you. That's the recipe for peace I think. Keep on being weird, we need more like us!
Good post!!! Thanks + upvote
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