What am I talking about? It seems to be an expectation that I'll be at Steemfest next week (which of course, I would love to be) but sadly, I must burst that balloon of confetti sunshine happiness! It would be so fun if it were true, but I as you might have gathered... I will not be.

Instead I'll be scraping up RAT POOP! You read that right but I am getting a head of myself first let me explain...

Remember how a couple of months ago, I was playing in some white sand and salty oceans, singing my original song about going to Steemfest? Well, that was for a competition to win a trip to the big event in Lisbon and while I have hours and hours of hilarious footage and I mastered singing in weird public places to make my first video ever, I didn't end up winning that contest. I realized that making videos is hard (or else you'd have the blooper reel by now!) I spent hours trying to dub my footage so you all would know what I was saying since I decided to go with a raw, fresh version where the waves were trying to eat me while I was singing to you about flying to what I referred to as 'Steemitfest', completely new to the whole scene and a tiny minnow, in over her head.

Before the announcement came from @stellabelle, about who had won the tickets she was so graciously donating through her contest, I had some news come my way and I had to make a decision. See, I haven't gotten to this part yet in my life story that I am sharing with you all here day by day, but back at the beginning of this year, I had been exploring New Zealand in a camper van that I bought and renovated, surfing the windy roads of the mountains,
climbing volcanoes and emerging myself in ice cold water bodies! I was having an incredible time but that time was fleeting and fluid until I met some business partners and my whole world started changing.

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Most of you don't know, I am a co-founder, I call myself co-creator of a non-profit organization and that had been a big part of my life over the last 4 years as I traveled, looking for the next step, the next opportunity and the next piece of the puzzle. I have learned and grown monumentally since starting out back in the States years back, but through that, and my own personal transformation, my dream has also continuously evolved into a beautiful dream that I have been watching unfold as I trust in my ability and passion to make it come true.

I am not going to make this a plug for my business here but it is a mere introduction into the reason why my plans have changed.

I joined Steemit back at the end of June and it was perfect timing because whenever I left New Zealand, there were huge plans on the table for moving forward fast and furiously! I landed in Bali and my head and heart told me to just calm down for a minute, take stride and give myself a breather. I needed to work internally before continuing to put my all into external, no matter what that would be. Knowing this, I settled in here and have been living in bliss ever since.

Steemit became a fun way for me to share and inspire while I was having my R&R. I don't think anything in my life is work, I see it all as play and if it isn't fun, I get rid of it. I have built a new perspective of how to live in line with passion, engaging in fulfillment opposed to obligation and that is what my dream speaks to, that is where my time goes. I want to share with the world the beautiful lessons life has gifted me. I got a bit carried away on here, absorbing myself into the computer screen day and night, injecting myself into my profile and I forgot to take time for myself. I became completely overtaken by my online persona!

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I had a couple of eureka moments where I pulled back and looked around at the world around me, reminding myself that my mission is first and foremost out 'here' and then I can share here with you all! Steemit granted me a new opportunity to share while at the same time, generating some income which was a very appreciated gift.

So, since I love and appreciate Steemit so much and you Steemians have become my fam, why am I not going to Steemfest?

I left my van sitting at one of my partner's houses down in New Zealand. That van had my life packed into it because I had left New Zealand with the intention of coming back and making the beautiful country my home. I had no idea that Bali would offer me such an intensely amorous option to be taken into her arms when I got here. SO my whole world changed upon landing and I could not bare to leave this magical paradise that seemed to suck me in from the moment my plane's wheels hit the ground!

It turned out that my van NEEDED to be moved by the end of October and that was also the only time I could go, which meant I needed to either go down there and get back on my first plan of moving in as planned and making New Zealand my home or, go sell my van and close up some of my unfinished business.

I expected to go and sell my van. I bought my flight, planned my trip, scheduled my meetings and then only afterwards realized that it all intersected with Steemfest. I am a big believer in fate and so I saw this as happening for a reason and so as saddened as I was to be missing what I believe is going to be an amazing congregation of some of my favourite people in the world, I felt it was just my journey at this time. Maybe Steemfest didn't need me there...

BUT THEN...

I just found out that my beloved van and ALL of its components have been completely destroyed by an army of RATS that infiltrated my home while I was away. It turns out that my van, "Sam" didn't have the supervision I expected it to while I was away and now has to be gutted. Obviously I need to go and deal with this but what the heck does that mean for my trip now?

I recently bought a drone with the specific purpose of taking it along with me when I got back to New Zealand as I was planning on settling up my previous life there and going on a grand journey of all the beautiful places I hadn't yet seen but now... now my vehicle for that is kind of out of commission.

Is this a sign, taunting me?

Was I really supposed to go to Steemfest after all? I was so excited to go and of all places in the world, it's being held at one of my all time favourite cities in the world, Lisbon! I was so broken hearted when I found out I wouldn't be able to go and now I am flying into a metal container of rat poop instead! Yeee-ikes! At this point, I have sunk a lot into the plan that is flying down to the Southernest point imaginable and trying to salvage whatever is left of my life in my tin can.

Your thing (Steemfest) sounds so much more fun! ;)

Even though I currently am set on flying down to remove rat poo from my clothing and hoping to salvage my mini library, I will be there in spirit with you all! I hope you have an amazing time and am sending my love from a far! Hey, if a miracle happens, maybe I will end up completely redirecting myself over to your party and ditching my obligations but, in case miracles are too stretched out at the moment or being used on more pressing matters of the world (which I wish they are), I will see you all next year and every day until on our community board here!

I am sending you all so much love! Have a STEEMING HOT PARTY!! Remember, crazy actions make amazing stories, I can vouch for that! ;)

XO,

PS: I just realized I hit the big 1500 t'day, yay! You guys rock! Steem on (despite the glitchies lately!)