This has been a subject that has been on my mind ever since I started steemit.
I have met many others on here who are empaths that have clung to my side.
They are teaching me how to deal with the transformation of my attitudes and helping me learn healing processes for my self and others around me. @roravec is one of them.

I had no clue that I was a empath till I learned recently.

What is a empath

Young Life.

For my young life there was tragedy after tragedy
Death of father when I was 5. I was named after him.
Schizophrenic aunt who has the same birthday as me.
OCD grandmother who was in control of our christian church.
You didn't do what she asked you to even if you thought it was wrong she would turn the whole church on you.
That shit didnt work on me. I rebelled and rebelled
Alcoholic mother who would belittle me in front of groups of people and she was verbally abusive at home.
Threaten to kill me by driving drunk and telling me if i do not listen to her she would end my life.
My grandmother and mother fought every day.
No love
No emotional support
No explaining about how things work.
JUST YOUR JUST A KID YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO HAVE FEELINGS AND EMOTIONS AND YOUR A MAN YOU CAN FIX THIS.
what I did was the opposite. Now I have a issue with anything physical.
I thought god was punishing me during this time.
That I was a bad person. I felt like everyone's problem was my own fault. I took it into myself. Empathetic things but not knowing what it was. It was very detrimental to my emotional health.
I seeked out others. Id pay attention to the entertainment on the tv.
Id rebel if I do not like how a person is treating another person. If it was a teacher and she was strict I would drive her nuts and she would hit me but since I got yelled at and hit alot it didnt phase me. I got attention for doing bad deeds like throwing bouncy balls around a class and whipping them at the wall when a teacher would yell at a kid. I was in detention from 4th grade to 8th grade everyday. I would stop all the abuse of the teachers against the kids. I was a leader in a way.
Video games were my moral systems and my guidance and my do gooding all mixed.
Towards the end of this phase I was discovering music cementing video games into my life and going into every social organization and not feeling any rewards for what I was doing.

Through that all. I knew something was not right. I had antichrist superstar being more moral then my grandmother and mother who were christian. I am not knocking christians at all. You have to understand my situation. It could be any restrictive way of life. I would of done the same thing. There is christians that are connected to others who are the exact opposite of my upbringing and I cherish them for being that.
I am actually getting back into christianity thanks to people on here.

Something was off. I feel like I knew how to fix the problems by bringing them into me. I knew how everyone was instantly.
Looking back at this time my empathy protected me because I felt rejection and hatred from my family. I felt THEIR rejection and hatred for me and used it against them. I won against 3 people and I have survived.

Adolescence

Lights turn out you see a little CRT TV.
Flicker Flicker
ZAAAAAAAAAAP.
This turns on
I turn up the music because it vibes with all that is going on.

My family fighting amongst each other lets me tune into this in my downstairs basement. I watched this for years.

It helped me distract me from what is going on.
The wrestling show gave me even more confidence as I was leaving my childhood.
It taught me that you can do everything on your own. You do not need someone above you that is human.

For a long time after that I would try to change the channels over and over again with the little dial to see 3 minutes of a PPV.
After 3 minutes it go back to white noise. I never watched those PPVS. I missed out on them.

On top of that id catch other glimpses of shows like beavis and butthead daria other shit that Id be killed if I was caught watching. Id have to change the channel all super quick.

I joined boyscouts around the same time the wrestling show started up. I think that boy scouts was the best organization I ever was a part of growing up. It taught me how to shoot a gun how to hunt. Also the trips were amazing with all the different spots I went to.

Music

Onto music.
My first account of music that I can remember that I enjoyed was when I went to my sisters boyfriends house at the time he had a huge selection of cds and I listened to all of them. I found all of my starting bands from that trip.

One of the older boy scouts is talking about bands like white zombie, fear factory machinehead, metallica.
They handed me a cd popped it in and heard some of the heaviest shit that I ever listened to. He said keep it I know you need it more then I do. I started looking for more bands and more bands.

One of the events for boyscouts was almost surreal. Everyone is in clean uniforms. Then you see people walking around its jnco pants chains dyed hair. Spike armbands spike neck stuff. Manson KoRn slipknot ICP shirts. Metallica slayer and grunge was still around but it was way less seen then these bands. It was everywhere
I FELT like I was home during this time.

The emotional intensity made me start figuring myself out. And I would now seek others not to rebel or whatever but to help out with emotional issues.

This music were like my foundation of understanding life and everything in it. They were my parents in a way.
Towards the end of this phase I started having a group of people to hang out with on a constant basis that has a combination of all of these things above.
They were the rebels the outcasts and I was the one who talked to every single person on the planet.

Highschool and empathy

Highschool was the opposite of childhood for me.
The problems were still there but I had so much distraction from friends and other things to keep me away. id still participate in fighting and everything.
During this time random people would either want to come hang out at my house because they saw it as like an attraction. They would call it an asylum. Or they would come to me about their problems. People would nudge me and be like oh hey dude I heard from someone your good with psychology. Can you help me out. We would walk away a few blocks from the school and they would have a total breakdown in front of me.
ONCE again
I thought I WAS causing these problems to come out of these people. My mind goes very numb and I have super low self esteem because of it.
This happened once a week. Whether it would be for the asylum or for the empathetic values I seem to possess.

Adulthood.

Economic crisis
Oh great
What the hell is this shit.

Oh I got a job.
But I am not happy.
My family is not happy with the items that they get I feel if i am stuck in one house I will think its a prison cell. I cannot be the same as them I need to enjoy life.

Make a bank account with my mom.
She takes the majority of my money away because she thinks id be careless with it. But she never paid me back for it. That was just her way of stealing it while passively aggressively attacking me. She is still drunk. This has been going on since I was born.

My work starts paying me less.
I am starting to get bad grades other then psychology and philosophy in college.
There is literally nothing for me and my emotional self.
Do not want to give people pills.
I do not wanna take money away from someone who is suffering.

I go into overtime studying conspiracies and paranormal and emotional knowledge.
I get As in all psychological classes without trying. I still didnt feel fulfilled.

Quit my job my schooling. Got a new job moved out.
I still feel as miserable as I did before.
Still people come to me randomly and its always emotional.
I am starting to get dreary with working over there.
I got into knowledge I never seen before in my life and I wanted to make a change

Realizing I was a empath.

I decided out of the blue to meditate.
Nah this is fucking stupid.
Lets try it
Nah this is fucking stupid
Oh
That feels pretty good.
The meditation balanced all the negativities I had as a person and let me discharge them.
For the first time in my life I felt like I truly knew myself. I was paying attention to the external not the internal.
I started to play with meditation more and more. Adding hot and cold to it. Light. Vibration. Any thing different.
Every Time I meditated I felt something different. I keep on experimenting this. I still do to this day. When I meditated I also noticed something else has changed. I felt tired when my girlfriend gets tired. When she is sad I cry for her. With other people I can feel aches that I didn't have before I went near them. When my friends foot breaks I will be like left. How did you know that? I am a emotional and pain sponge. I held my girlfriends hand she said my hands were fluctuating with cold and hot polarity within seconds from each other. I was like hmm thats weird. I held her hand she felt burned.
That was my discovery of this.
I ask all of the hurt or lost souls of steemit if you might be a empath.

I have experimented with other people random people again and they freaked out.
I even brought a nurse friend of mine over and she was like uh thats weird what are you doing.
My old friends are confused at how I am doing this even though I explain it to them.\

I started to feel different things when I focused my ability on other people.
Different vibrations
Different energies.
I can know instantly just from that.
I guess you can say their aura. I also feel different moods from doing this with other people. Usually anger has a lot of heat. Anxiety makes me want to run 10 miles. Depression from another person wants me to go away from everyone and everything.

At this time I started to realize maybe half of my negative emotions I had were not even my own and I was acting out of the external emotion of the people around me. This confused me. Maybe I havent been given myself enough freedom for lack of love.

I think this meditation has brought this new path of helping others out to me.

Now As we go into this crisis era. I will still be healing but on the sidelines you will know where to find me.\

What empathy is for me.

I follow my intuition .
go down a path.
Someone talks to me about their emotional issue and I take it away and store it into myself.
Or
I feel someone's pain in their body and I take it out by putting it into my self.
I have helped a lot of others this way and I will continue to do it because I love it.

If you think you had a similar life story to this please let me know.

Or one of your friends as well. They might be an empath.

I would like to bring all healers like this together on steemit and if you got any emotional or pain problems please let me know.
Id be glad to help you out.

I will see you all another time thank you for dealing with me @sinned