LiTTLE CHERiNE Book 01 - post157

arthur.grafo (69)in #sfandf-fiction • 6 years ago

^{Claudia, I am not just threatening you. There will be many times that I anger you, or one of the others do, but our reactions must always remain within civilised proportions. Even anger, a fight, are part of a relationship. However, all relationships must obey fundamental rules or they get eaten away by the acid of too many ugly memories. I treat you like a lady and expect you to act like one.”}

Previous Post 156

605

I could tell she was not listening, still in the grip of her anger. “It is this body that puts you off. They are right, you will only feel comfortable if I have a child’s body.”

“Did you have to dig deep to try and find something to hurt me?” I swung away as she apologetically made to move to me and then swung back to her again. “You are right. It is a problem. I do not want to make love to you as a woman of twenty five. You are eleven years old and you do not belong in that...I do not mind making love to you as you are if it is just for fun, as part of experiencing something new between us. The first time is too important. An eleven year old mind in an eleven year old body knows her body, knows how to handle the feelings. I want you to fully enjoy the newness of the experience of being loved by someone who loves you deeply, not just for the sake of the novelty of feeling it happen to you in this body.

You spoke to hurt me, using your knowledge of my vulnerabilities and feelings of guilt against me, and I will remember it - especially as I had just warned you about not doing so. Not only did you show a lack of respect for me, but you also pointed the way to the truth of how it should be this weekend - for both of us. Since you do not agree, I suggest we return home. Maybe when your mind is also twenty five you will be ready for me.”

She sat on the bed and sobbed. When she lay down, curling her knees up to her stomach, I lay down next to her, without touching. A long time passed and I thought she might have dozed off when she spoke in a little voice of complaint. “You also said that last bit only to hurt me.”

“Very true. I’m glad it did.”

She sat up, her eyes livid. “You can be a real bastard sometimes.”

“Far too often. Thank you.”

“Fuck you.” She turned over, showing her back to me.

“I was not being sarcastic, I meant it. You are forgetting who I am Claudia. When I hurt you, your pain is an unbearable pain in me. Your anger does not hurt me, it is easier to bear, so it was good to feel your pain change to anger.”

I turned onto my side and lightly dozed. When her arm came over me it was not unexpected, though I was grateful.

“I deserved that didn’t I?” she asked in a small voice.

“You asking me what you deserve? As far as I am concerned you deserve all the love I have to give to you. You deserve all the happiness I can give you. You deserve the warmest, cosiest corner of my heart. But I do have to enforce rules, there are too many of us and we are too closely linked for any of us to be hurting or bitter, it would poison the lives of the rest of us. Can you imagine your effort to hit me, what it would do to Wendy for instance?”

She came into my arms and cried. I wiped her face and tenderly kissed her. Once the crying was over I asked if she wanted to get away from this, go dance with her sister.

“No, I would rather lie here in your arms so that I can sleep.”

I gently undressed her, not altering our ages, and holding each other, we both drifted into a deep sleep.

606

*You have matured my love, you handled last night without tearing yourself to pieces. I am proud of you.*

*I do not know how much of it is maturity and how much is just plain fear. I am too scared to allow myself to retreat into self indulgent torments.* I sent Dommi a smile with the message. I was surprised by her commenting, for I knew none of them like the fact that I altered myself so as to avoid hurting them again by my childish tantrums.

*I think Marian is getting fed up of us. She is upset that Meli spends so much time with us.* *She is right love, we have to respect her feelings and needs too. You are a mother, surely you can empathise? Please tell Meli to return home.* *I can’t say that!! Her home is here with us - I will tell her to visit her mother.*

I looked over at Claudia as she lay on her back with her wrist across her eyes. The sight of her pert pink nipples, the gentle firm swell of her breasts almost made me regret my decision. I would have so loved to cover them with kisses, feel the magic texture as I fondled them, sucked in the coral tips and teased them with my lips and tongue. To softly nibble them with my teeth and feel the ache shoot down to deep between her legs.

I gave a quick kiss to each of them and dashed off to the bathroom. She chuckled with pleasure, having felt the deep need in me. I thought of the warm scent of sleep which had tantalised me as she lay next to me and knew I will be wanting to taste her as she is, one day soon.

We had a lazy day, walking and cuddling and mostly talking. She asked me many questions about my love for the girls, about my feelings for my daughters. I replied as honestly as I could, sometimes verbally and sometimes by bringing her into my thoughts and heart. As we sat, looking out at the sea, she moved deeply within me on her voyage of discovery, for with her there is a need to understand me, loving me is not enough for her. When she returned, she sighed.

“I have loved you from the first time I saw you. You were my hero. As I lived with you, part of your special family, my love deepened into something more real. But I was afraid Robert. It all seemed too good to be true. I had thought my parents loved me and they did not. I thought maybe you might be the same. When you told the story of Wendy, Cherine sent me the image of what Wendy looked like when you found her, when she examined her. I was horrified. It took me some time to realise how special your heart must be to have fallen in love with her when she looked like that.

It made my words to you seem so petty, so self-centred. Before I could show you I had regretted my words and wanted to be loved by you, to give myself, not only in my heart, but my body too, you vanished. You cannot imagine the pain and grief I felt as I felt you missing from the link. Then the others began to die. Cherine, her death nearly made me die too. When I lost my Wendy, my best friend and love, I went a little crazy. I wanted to die, but I could not. I am still trying to recover from all that Robert. I think a little of that fear will stay in me forever. I could not bear to lose you or the girls ever again.”

“I am not speaking lightly my love; not just for the sake of consoling you, but I’m certain this will never happen again. If anything should ever happen and I am torn away from your side, you need not fear you have lost me. We will meet for a while at our World until our bodies are re-created. You are stuck with me and those lovely girls who will soon be your wives if you want us, forever. You do not have to rush into believing, give yourself the time and space you need to grow into us - or to let us grow into you.”

“I am not used to men who are sweet like you. I think you are the nicest man in the world. Do you mean that about marrying me?”

I joked, “Of course you think so, but then you love me.” Her eyes reproached me for teasing, but her lips were soft and warm. I explained about our way of solving the problem of marriage. She was delighted to think of the girls as her wives.

607

That evening we had a kleftiko, a Cypriot dish that comes from the days when the ‘antartes’ (guerrillas) fought the British, living in the mountains. They would dig a hole, make a fire and place the coals in there, put the meat (lamb or goat) with potatoes, onions and so on, wrapped up in newspapers, close the hole and leave. That way, if smoke was seen they were no longer there. Twenty four hours later they would return and collect the food. The meat is so tender it hardly needs to be chewed. We had a bottle of red wine with our meal. Claudia held up her glass, looking at the lights through the red wine.

“I presume you will want me to change back, will my eleven year old body be able to handle this wine?”

“Enjoy it love. The healer will see to it.”

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^{For those readers who have not understood, when they speak using telepathy, what they say is enclosed within stars, and the thoughts exchanged are in italic.}
^{e.g *Hi, I bet you are wishing you could read thoughts.*?}